Turns out! You don't actually have to think to write a good fanfic!
Actually! It turns out that writing everything that comes to mind is confusing and a bit boring. Who would've thought!
Back to whatever the story was, I'm not paying attention...
Yuno went to the ninja school to be assigned to his team, it turns out... He replaced the Dog guy's entire existence! Now he was on a team with Hinata and Shino. He didn't know how to feel, mostly because nothing mattered and we are simply electrical flashes imagining everything in life from our speck of dust position in the infinite cosmos never allowed to achieve anything greater than ourselves, purposeless as the day we were brought into self-perception.
But other than that!
Yuno was pretty happy! Hinata was cute and Shino never spoke! Maybe he could practice his speeches here!
The trio went to see Kurenai and she looked at them emotionlessly, saying "Names, dreams, likes and dislikes." before turning to Shino, who stared back at her in silence.
A few minutes passed and Hinata coughed.
A breeze passed by and Kurenai nodded "Informative. Next." before turning to Hinata, who touched the tips of her fingers together shyly, saying with a whisper "Well, I-" before Yuno shouted with his arms crossed and a heroic look on his face, "I AM YUNO! HENCEFORTH THE SAVIOR OF THIS WORLD! MY FRIENDS CALL ME JESUS BUT YOU CAN CALL ME ALL-MIGHT! I AM EXCITED TO START THIS JOURNEY AND GO PLUS ULTRA!"
Hinata fainted from shock and Kurenai looked at Yuno, who continued "We are mere specks of sentient dust, fluttering in the never ending waves of time, waiting for death religiously! My name is Yuno and my dream is to have lots of friends who will play with me on weekdays whilst gambling with me on weekends. I want to have a wife and kids in the future with a cute girl and I like to act cool. My dislikes are people who act cooler than me and annoying bastards who think they know more than me. My catch phrase is 'Plus Ultra' and I like being really loud and obnoxious."
Kurenai nodded deeply, saying "I see! Very brave." Yuno retorted "I am also bipolar and prone to severe depression and suicidal tendencies! My highs are feeling invincible and lows are wondering which building will kill me if I jump off! That is all!" Kurenai nodded blankly, opening her mouth before Yuno shouted again "ALSO! I AM A RUBBERMAN!"
Before stretching his mouth extremely wide, letting it snap back to place, taking his power stance again.
Shino raised his brows and Kurenai was slightly stunned, muttering "Kekkei Genkai?" Yuno laughed stiffly, "YES!" before quieting down and adding "Sorry for being such a cringe loser..." Kurenai's lips twitched and she looked at the colorful cabinet of kids in front of her.
One of them didn't talk at all, the other talked too much, and the last was prone to sudden fainting. She sighed and rubbed her head, feeling a strong headache coming on... This might be her toughest challenge since falling in love with Asuma.
She brought the kids with her saying "Alright, I want to see your strength. Attack me." Yuno threw his arms back and charged at her, his arms stretching back extremely far as he shouted with world shaking valor, "GUM GUM BAZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Kurenai was stunned and panicked by the sheer momentum Yuno was bringing as his hands snapped back, shooting towards her. They hit her stomach and fell to the ground powerlessly, everyone froze and Kurenai blinked slowly.
Yuno snorted and said "You're lucky I showed mercy, mortal!" before crossing his arms and scoffing "I am simply impenetrable!" Kurenai felt like she was a big joke and kicked Yuno in the head, only for his head to stretch out from his neck and bounce back, hitting her in the stomach.
Yuno laughed and pointed at the sky "Bested yet again, knave! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!" but then Kurenai kicked him in the crotch and he dropped like a sack of potatoes, sucking in air as he curled up like a shrimp, muttering weakly "Lucky shot..."
Hinata was dragged here and hadn't recovered, while Shino was staring at the sky at a 45 degree angle with his hands in his pockets, his thoughts and machinations unknown!
Kurenai almost cried, this sucked!
A few weeks and a solid debate about the status of this fic
Yuno was training with Kurenai, Hinata, and Shino. He was told by the Author that he was most likely getting shelved in favor of an actual real story with a similar concept and power set. The thought was simply absurd!
Apparently, this 'so-called' real story would have a mc similar to him yet not as unhinged and nutso! But a little taste of crazy, referring to himself as 'this king' similar to royal nobles in the middle ages from Chinese Novels.
Yuno was told that apparently the author had seen a story similar and thought it was funny to have the MC be extremely arrogant just by nature but not actually be arrogant. Very strange! Supposedly a common interaction would go how it went with Kurenai a few weeks ago.
He would have the Nika fruit and just be a happily little boy maybe even with parents!
Who knows!
So now everyone in this world was just sort of taking it easy.
Yuno walked the streets after training and saw Naruto and Sasuke sitting in lounge chairs, suntanning. He walked over and asked "What's going on?" Naruto looked at him and snorted "Well, we're getting dropped, who cares about doing stuff." Sasuke sighed, "What a life."
Yuno was stunned and turned to see Pain buying dango at a stall, he scratched his head and muttered "Is this what happens when a story gets dropped?"
Kakashi was sitting on an awning, reading a book as he said "Pretty much."
Yuno snorted "This sucks!" everyone else just sort of shrugged, not really caring about it. He frowned and walked away, going to look at other things. He eventually came to a house with a bunch of people inside.
Danzo, Hiruzen, Orochimaru, the other Kages... They were all playing poker and looked over at Yuno before turning back and ignoring him.
Yuno had never seen something like this! This was a novelty in itself! He continued walking, seeing Madara staring at the Hokage Mountain, frowning as he muttered "What the hell... They barely got Hashirama's face right..."
Hashirama was standing on his own face and shouted "Madara! Is this better!?" Madara cupped his hands and replied "No! You look like an idiot!" Tobirama was sitting on a stump with his arms crossed, snorting "So same as usual?"
Madara scoffed "Shut the hell up, you irrelevancy. Nobody ever says 'Oh I want to be Tobirama! I want Tobirama's powers' heh! Loser!" Tobirama choked and shouted "You want to fight, Madara!?" Madara rolled his eyes and retorted "Yeah, yeah... Whatever man..."
Yuno sighed and looked at the Hokage mountain, saying "You should add my face!" Madara looked at him and waved "Get out of here, kid. This is all your fault! Why can't you be more interesting!" Yuno was stunned and retorted angrily "How is this my fault! It's Monkey's fault for being an impulsive asshole!"
Madara sneered and replied "Oh yeah? What about Flames of Justice? I even had a grandson there! We danced for days!" Yuno scoffed and shook his hands, saying "I'm done with you!" before storming away.
He bumped into a girl and gasped "You are?!" the girl smiled shyly "Oh hello. I'm Jessie." Yuno's eyes sparkled "You're cute!" Jessie blushed and looked away, "Well, I'm just an intern, so..." Yuno asked curiously "Intern?" Jessie pointed at the sky and Yuno saw Kaguya flying above them, muttering "Where was the bathhouse..."
Jessie sighed, "Mostly I just take care of continuity errors, plot holes, stuff like that... It's my first day on the job." Yuno's eyes lit up and he pulled her hand, saying happily "Hey! I can help you!" as he led her around the village, talking endlessly.
They lived happily every after!