Well, well, well!
Three little bastards were sitting at a table at the Barbeque restaurant in Konoha!
Namely, Sasuke, Naruto, and a person that nobody knew!
That person was, of course, (Self-Proclaimed) Dio!
It was him! DIO!
But his real name was Uchitakenaketa Marukonosuke.
...
So Dio was sitting with Naruto and Sasuke at the same table!
But there was something wrong with this picture.
All three were frowning and looking at each other with a bit of blame and wariness.
Suddenly!
Dio slapped the table and shouted "I don't fucking believe it!" he pointed at Naruto, shouting "It can't be!" Naruto slapped the table and pointed at him and Sasuke, shouting "You bastards better start talkin'!" Sasuke exploded with anger, pointing at the other two, saying "No! You both need to start making some sense! I am the protagonist here!"
Naruto nearly slipped but Dio really did! He smashed face first into the table and rolled onto the ground before getting back up, saying "Obviously it's me!" Naruto scoffed, "I'M NARUTO!" Sasuke and Dio retorted angrily "And look what you did!"
They pointed outside at the mob of angry people, holding pitchforks and torches.
Naruto defended himself, "Nah, wasn't me." Sasuke retorted "You started blastin' them as soon as you walked out today!" Naruto grinded his teeth, saying "It was a System mission!" Sasuke and Dio sneered "Oh right... Why does our system only say 'Make Konoha Great Again'??"
Naruto crossed his arms and huffed "Isn't it obvious?! Because I am clearly the main character!" Dio punched him in the face, his arm stretching out like rubber. Naruto slammed into his seat and rubbed his nose angrily "I'll beat you to death!"
Sasuke mocked "Hurhur I'll BeAt yOu tO DeAtH." before turning to Dio, adding with a sneer "No stand, only the Gomu-Gomu fruit and you call yourself Dio? Too arrogant!" as he held his face, sighing as though he was Kira.
Naruto shoved him off the chair and shouted "You're not Light Yagami! Stop acting cool!" Dio held out his hands and said "Alright, listen idiots." they turned to him and he let out a breath, continuing "I have it on good authority that the Main Character is, in fact, ME. That being the case, I have a plan. What I analyzed so far is that the system is giving us things that we should have, like a template or something like that. So for example, I'll get the Gomu Gomu, haki, and other things, while you guys get normal Naruto things."
Naruto frowned "Why are you the Main Character though?" as he scratched his head in confusion, squinting much like Naruto does. Sasuke slapped him coldly, retorting "Shut up, idiot!" Naruto tackled Sasuke, shouting "You want a Thousand Years of Death?!"
Dio intertwined his fingers like the gif, continuing with realizing his surroundings "The reason is because, I'm clearly too handsome. Secondly, I'm the only normal person here whilst you both are Naruto and Sasuke, therefore I received Luffy's powers as well as the ninja ones. So clearly I have become a conglomeration of both worlds. An Inbetweener if you might say."
He went on without realizing that Naruto and Sasuke were already walking away, "We don't know much about this world, it would be good for you both to act in character and not mess anything up whilst I assess the situation clearly. As I've gathered, it is at the very tippy toppy beginning of Naruto, therefore thus, the Ninja exams are today and Naruto will most certainly fail these, therefore it is imperative that you- huh?"
He looked around and muttered "Where did they go?" before a loud bang sounded next to him. Naruto and Sasuke flew through the window as Iruka double drop kicked them, shouting "YOU'RE LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!"
Dio was in position with his fingers intertwined as Iruka made a beautiful corkscrew dropkick with a 1080 twist mid air. Dio pushed up the imaginary glasses on his face and said "Incredible. The subtle pointing of the toes, the tasteful twist... Oh god. It even has a name..." Iruka grabbed Dio in mid-air, suplexing him as he said "Time for Ninja Exams!"
How could this even be possible!
What in God's name am I reading, you may ask!
Why in the name of all that is holy, have my eyes been subjugated to such a sinister yet succulent sabotage of sourness that is this fic?
And most important of all, how did these three funny guys meet?
Well the answer is simple!
Three days ago~
Retsunanobunga Obinosukegorono was walking down the street while skipping happily, singing "I'm the Main Character, it can't be anyone other than me~ Hehe~ I'm so hap-PEE~ Maybe I'll get a wife-E~ And have some bab-Es~" Just as Tetsutaronosukato Donotarolokentatuo was singing so happily and joyfully...
Naruto and Sasuke happened to be doing the same thing and they bumped into each other, hearing the same words. They all pointed at each other and said "What the?!"
The rest is history!
A while after the 9/10 (Not enough Water) Dropkick by Iruka himself~
Goronorotoroforo Densumakinobakasallowedoro was standing in front of Iruka with his arms crossed in a power stance, saying loudly in a deep voice "I refuse!" Iruka was stunned and muttered "It's just a cloning technique..."
Hellunotorioreomilkotoronosuke Faminitarosake snorted in a very manly manner before a clone appeared next to him and they said in unison "I agree!" Iruka mumbled "Weirdo... Naruto you're next!" Naruto stood up and slapped the table, saying "I refu-"
Sasuke kicked him in the back and Naruto flew over the table, bouncing off every step before sprawling out on the ground. Hinata gasped and mumbled worriedly "Naruto..." Naruto looked up and tears escaped his eyes, "Hinata... I can always count on you..."
Hinata froze and fainted, rolling down the stairs and landing face first on the ground.
There was a silence and Naruto held her, crying to the sky "Why, God! WHY!" Sasuke and Toronu-... Insert Name Here clapped and nodded "Emotional, amazing..." the rest of the class clapped and sighed, "He'll be a star one day..."
Iruka was dumbfounded.
You have to know, this was not normal. Suddenly three days ago, these three started acting very strange. The rest of the class went from confused to stunned and finally acceptance as they played along for fun.
Iruka chalked it up to kids playing around and dismissed it, having a bit of fun as well. He felt happier this way.
Though in actuality, the only one who changed drastically was The boy who shall not be named. Sasuke and Naruto were only slightly different, more lively and stupid...
This was because of one main reason!
You see, as you would've learned in Soul Forging 101 at Heavenly Star academy, realm 429, district Z, the merging of two souls will result in a new soul, however the soul of the original body will most likely be shuffled up, HOWEVER!
In the case of a lucky person getting soul fused, the Original Body's soul will devour the new soul and become stronger with slight deviations to their personality. Therefore thus, what actually happened was more like Naruto and Sasuke getting enlightened on a modern otaku's life, then laughing at them and getting a system for free!
So now, they both knew the future and felt like they were the protagonists, when it was actually the Unnamed Fellow who refused but also agreed.
What actually happened wasn't three souls but! One person getting hit by a Truck! However, the truck fractured in three because it passed by the Mirror Dimension on it's last job and fractured one boy's soul into 3 copies and blasted them all out in the same direction!
Also! If you must know, the boy originally had multiple Personalities! He was deeply troubled in the mental department! Very very nuts! Eligible to be caught and tested on. Lobotomy required!
And the Author has severe ADHD! Which is being let loose instead of reined in! Ahem! You will get a glimpse into a deeply troubled mind!
The boy who will thusly be named... Crazy anime character names... ah oops! Wrong text box! Hmm... I see...
The Impeccably handsome boy, who is definitely not a reflection of the Author's God complex and Ego the size of Mars, is known as Yuno!
Except his hair wasn't pink and he wasn't a girl and he was only SLIGHTLY prone to mass killings!
Yuno stood in the room and his head seemed to be made of stone as he said heroically "I am Yuno." Everyone looked at him and then looked away, not bothering with this literally mentally ill person.
Who would, you know?!
Anyway~!
Yuno had a system all of his own! The collective goal was to Make Konoha Great Again, and he received the Gomu Gomu fruit, a classic template for a good fan-fiction! However in the hands of several mentally unstable people, most likely it will never get finished!
At any rate!
The scene reset back to normal as the Author didn't want to go full retard because you never go full retard, it was a law, he didn't want to get fined! He was broke as hell!
(Seriously, please send me money I am starving.)
Yuno had magically passed the exam and became a fully fledged ninja boy! A handsome child soldier if you will! However, child soldiers was IN right now. As Mugatu would say 'Child Soldiers are so hot right now'!
Therefore, now was the time to get into Child Soldiers before the fashion season changed to something else.
Yuno was one such fashionable person. Perhaps even applicable to model for Balenciaga!
AHA! ANYWAY!
Yuno left the Ninja school, going back home. He didn't have any parents, just like all the other crossers. There was a no parents allowed sign when you crossed! He saw it! It also said 'No Gurlz' which was strange but the female MC ffs are always shit so Yuno didn't care at all.
Like bruh! Reincarnated as Naruto's secret sister!
Ouuu! Wowo! So original! Man... SHE STILL ACTS LIKE SAKURA!
Nuts! Nuts! Insane! Yuno couldn't believe it and neither should you! He swore to the Heavens that he had never read a single good novel with a female mc! He didn't know what swearing to the Heavens meant, he read it from all chinese novels. They're always doing that shit.
At any rate
Yuno came into an empty house and laughed heroically "The Shield Hero isn't the only thing rising!" while throwing his fist in the air, adding "I will rise to the top and become Hokage!" Naruto crashed through the window and shouted "NO! IT'LL BE ME!" before beating Yuno up, spitting on him, and leaving, "Scumbag!"
Yuno got back up and snorted, waving a fist "I'll be King of the Pirates!"