Ch 13: Multiverse chatgroup

21st century. what a time to be alive. pre covid everything was shit during covid everything was a migraine but we were not prepared for the economic collapse that happened years after, poverty and rising international tensions led to WW3 and the world became a nightmare.

Me, dying was not a big surprise. lung cancer, and because I lost my job, and ended up homeless. no insurance, no treatment. so Bye bye world.

what I was more impressed with was the afterlife.

I was not a believer per se. at least not in something specific. Yes, I was baptized I did carry a cross on a neck chain, but I never really practiced it all that piously.

And the afterlife was not really what I was told or expected, I realized that when I went to sleep on a cold winter and woke up in a waiting room without any pain, my annoying cough was gone, and looking at myself in the mirror I looked as if I regressed in time back to my late teens or early twenties.

the waiting room looked like a Gargantuan DMV and after taking my tourn paper I sat and watched on the big screen how I was supposed to wait for 47 thousand people in front of me (thank god my eyes got fixed, no longer needing glasses or I might have missed my turn due to being legally blind).

for some reason I did not feel any panic or paranoia, I was a bit angry, for one I was dead, for two my life has been shit for as long as i remember, for three I was made the wait for 47k people in front of me and the number was not working its way to my turn in a quick manner. At least i was not the only one. since being left out would make me a bit weary.

Surprisingly everyone was chill, yes some people looked devastated, others confused but most of the people had a serene vibe to them. must be some afterlife mumbo-jumbo.

Looking at the numbers slowly working their way toward my turn was agonizing but after countless hours it was slowly approaching my turn.

"Thanks, brain," I said as my number was coming close and closer to be rung up on the bign screen, the only reason i was not pissed was because I used my old tactic to pass time. just like i did back in HS. just daydream and make your own movies inside your head while time passes. just dont pay to much attention to how much its left of waiting and with that time passes, you want it or not.

Was i a bit nervous? yes, but not in a full-blown panic.

finally, it was my turn and I was sent to "Section 10 Department 15 Division 8 Subdivision 14 Room 117.

Arriving and passing each door that was unlocked by scanning the barcode on the little paper that i was given, i finally made it to room 117.

Behind the stained glass door with the golden numbers, I found a regular office, Piles of paperwork on each side of the table with some room in the middle for the person to work. A Coffee maker that was working on the back right corner and a half-opened door on the left end from where I could hear someone urinating?

"be right there!" I heard a masculine deep voice coming from what I assumed was a bathroom. After a few seconds, someone flushed and turned on the sink before entering the office.

"sorry about that, too much coffee, we were not prepared for WW3 and right now a bit understaffed. working triple shifts makes you wish to be dead sometimes" The man sighed and sat at his office chair.

He had no features that caught my attention, just a forgettable average caucasian, he did look a bit beat up, with a 3 to 4 day old beard, wrinkled shirt, and dark bags under his eyes.

after he grabbed a folder from the top of the pile he opened it, his eyes darted from the file to me back and forth a few times.

"guess you are not Laetishea, wrong file." After that, he started to go through the pile until he gasped "Ah!, here we go, Thadeus Smith, please sit"

"Just Deus, it's what everyone calls me," I said as I took a seat in front of the man who made a cigarette appear out of thin air, and he lit it up with the tip of his finger. magic, go figure.

"Bron in… Lived in… before moving to… Died of exposure… Well, let's be honest. It was an average life. not enough good deeds to get lots of good Karma, not enough bad deeds to have a lot of bad Karma. and not devout to any religion, we would send you to the cycle of reincarnation as a clean slate just as we normally do, but you do believe in other things, like the multi/omniverse. And since they are busting my balls for assigning me a world that is suffering from a major extinction event… let's say I will "assist" you a bit more than I'm supposed to." He finished with a wink.

"you already assumed I will take whatever deal you are proposing…" I said and the man raised an eyebrow.

"Are you saying that you want to cease to exist as you are now? be eased when I'm presenting you with the possibility of a new life while keeping your memories?" I did not answer "thought so" he finished with a huff.

"Here is the basic contract." the man clicked his fingers and a stack of papers that looked like an 800 page long bible, the font was minuscule. "Now, the problem with this contract is that it's a trap with destination boredom. normally I would assure you that everything will be fine and push you to sign this gigantic suicide-inducing masterpiece of bureaucratic horror. but since my boss *cough* wife *cough* fucked me over I'll return the favor."

I just started reading the contract when I was interrupted

"Now the catch is that you are in purgatory. and if you spend more than a week, you will automatically get kicked to your next life. as of now you got 5 days and 13 hours more or less, it would take you 3 days of nonstop reading to finish this brick, and if you want to submit your alterations, it's a 5-day process… see where this is going? "

"so without knowing, I'm either forced to sign this as it is, or I will not be able to get it altered and be kicked out without being able to sign and get it approved in time" The man smiled like the devil and nodded. "but how can I trust you? as far as I know this could be some ply to try and fuck me over"

the man just chuckled. "I swear on my name Mikael the XVII that I will not try to cheat you in any way, and try to grant you the best conditions for your contract" a golden light enveloped both of us. "now lets us get this over with."

~~~ time skip 2 hours ~~~

"so with this. it's over. you will be getting to a rank S world, that will grant you a random system. after that it's up to you." Mikael presented the altered contract after they have altered all of the loopholes.

It was not that many, but they were restrictive overall and probably would have condemned him to a life of tedium and mediocrity.

"So I just sign? what do I do for the next 5 days?" I asked while holding the pen right on top of the contract.

"Well, 5 days in the waiting room for precessed souls with the contract under revision, As under our agreement, legally speaking they can not deny your request for the updated contract," Mikael said as he plucked another cigarette out of thin air.

"why were you helping me again?" I said after I sighed and started to sign the contract

"My supervisor is my wife, and we like to mess around pranking each other, your situation was just at the right place and time" After I signed the contract it started to dissolve into golden dust. "wait for it," Mikael said while raising his finger.

A few seconds later I heard a knock on the door before it opened.

"Mike, honey. what is this contract I'm reading?" I looked at the beauty that just entered holding a stack of papers. if 'sexy secretary' had a definition in the dictionary her picture would be next to it.

"eyes to your own goods buckaroo," Mike said with a chuckle.

"Mr. Smith, please proceed to the waiting room while I shove my high heels up my husband's intestines while we revise your contract and make sure everything is in order." she had a bulging vein on her forehead but she was still stunning.

"Yes ma'am. and all of it was his Idea" I say unapologetically while throwing Mikael under the bus

"that is how you treat your guardian angel?" Mikael says in a fake hurt tone.

"Peace" I just wave at them and exit the office while closing the door behind me, the moment it closed the door I could hear muffled screaming from the inside, and could make out a few things while leaving like 'do you know how much paperwork this will be?' and ' you are sleeping on the couch tonight. Well, it was his idea.

~~~

At least the second waiting room was cozier, it had a few couches and TVs, there were vending machines with snacks and drinks, and a few table games. etc, there were only 3 more people, who were repeating reincarnators.

We interacted a few times and they basically said that I got a great deal. Son the 5 days were over and I was escorted to the hub for the transition of souls.

Mike's wife was there.

"Mr. Smith, you and my husband sure gave me a week full of paperwork," she said while motioning for me to follow her toward a humongous crystal in the middle of the room.

"if I knew a way to get back at him for you I would" Better to stay in the good graces of the supervisor of your case worker.

She paused for a second and got a mischievous smile. "There is a way" she looked around and then pulled a small vial with two pills from the inner pocket in her jacket. "you have to eat this," she said in almost a whisper but after seeing me eyeing the two pills suspiciously she just sighed and said "I swear on my name Uriel the XIII that it will not harm you in any way" a quick flash of light enveloped us.

"well thanks for that," I said as I just chugged the two pills real quick. "what was it?"

"the pills are made from the dust of his angel feathers, they will link your soul to part of his divinity, good and bad karma you earn will also affect him," She said before I could protest how disgusting it was that she feed me angel dust Uriel pressed a button, the crystal lighted up blinding me, before fading into unconsciousness I could hear the familiar voice of Mikael scream "Uriel!" in the distance.

~~~

I woke up in a park, it had maintained grass and a few trees, listening to the surroundings did not help as I cloud not hear anything of note, picking a random direction to walk in i followed the paved path

'Where is the System?' I asked myself before a voice in my head spoke.

[Welcome to your new life!. because you have chosen an S Rank World you have been awarded a random System!] I just scoffed.

'aint that perfect timing?' I wondered as I continued down the path

[Omniversal Chat Group System Acquired!]

[All System functions LOCKED.]

[Mission: Find out where you are

Reward: Unlock the chat system

Unlock the main quest

1 bronze mission token

1 silver mission token

1 gold mission tocken]

I was annoyed until I came out of the park, nearby there was a playground with a young kid playing with a ball. the kid had an enormous chin. this whole situation was somehow familiar.

The buildings around the park looked familiar, somewhat Japanese in style. It was confirmed to be japan when I saw a few signs written in Kanji(?) or was it Hirakana(?) Katakana? whatever.

I was about to yell at the kid when a dude in his 20s dressed up as the typical office worker walked on the street near the kid. he started to talk in Japanese to the kid.

"ohh god. im in One Punch Man" I say in shock, ignoring the notification as a giant ass Crabman starts to try to kill the kid for Saitama to tackle the kid.

[Status: Admin]

[Username Assigned: HomelessPopsicle]

[Searching random Users…]

"Homeless Popsicle… fuck you too, shitty ass system" I just mumble. yes, i was a homeless guy that died from the cold… but why rub it in?

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[SwordKing: Great, another glitch in the Guidline]

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