Resolve

By the time I finished cleaning up the kitchen, my shirt felt like a block of ice was radiating cold through my chest and freezing the blood right into my veins. Damn Leo, really.

I dried my hands and rushed towards the small ensuite in the corner of the living room, pulling my clothes off as I went. It seemed only my upper body got the worst of it so I removed my blazer and shirt, but then paused just inside the ensuite.

Unlike the one in Ruth's bedroom, this ensuite was smaller in size with only a shower and sink in it. Far from having a washer, it didn't seemed to have even an electrical outlet, except for a lone led light at the far corner.

For a moment, I contemplated going back into the bedroom to dry my clothes again, but then rejected the idea.

I didn't want Ruth to wake up before I could make her breakfast, and having me buzz around would certainly do so now that it was nearly 8am and she was bound to wake up any moment.

So I walked back into the living room, and hung my shirt and blazer from the backs of two wooden chairs placed close to the windows. The heat from the thermostat should dry them up in no time.

Satisfied with my solution, I walked back to the kitchen and started on a pot of coffee, making sure to brew it extra strong, just the way Ruth liked it.

As the aroma of coffee spread throughout the room, I started on pancakes, making a neat work of eggs and flour, despite being mentally preoccupied.

Even with most of my questions answered, there was one thought that still nagged me. Why did I stop us from going all the way last night? I might have told her I wanted to stop because I was drunk, but I knew that I wasn't noble enough to stop because of that. Nor did I have as much restraint.

But there was some small detail that escaped me. Some tiny revelation that I had felt the need to make last night. It had seemed important to confess at the time, but for the life of me, now that I was sober and articulate enough to speak, the words - the very thought - escaped me.

Maybe it was nothing. Just my resistance trying to hold on to last shred of distance I could subconsciously keep between Ruth and me. God knew how unnerving it was for me to open up to someone and last night, I had laid my feelings bare at her feet.

Or maybe it was my self-preservation instinct that held onto some unimportant detail that my conscious brain didn't even consider important enough to acknowledge.

Or maybe I was truly just an idiot. Saying no to Ruth when she was so willing to make love to me could not have any other explanation.

As I poured the batter over the pan, making a perfect circle, the images of last night ran through my mind like a movie reel. The most highlighting ones were when I was completely alone with Ruth.

Her beautiful alabaster skin reflecting the light off her, like a smooth satin cloth. The reminder of every stroke of her hand raised goose bumps over my skin as I flipped the pancake one after other onto a plate.

Just the thought of her touch was enough to wake my senses up. The thought made me gulp. I can't let the sexual tension she evoked in me overpower my brain.

For all her sass, I knew she was an inherently shy creature. While that was part of her charm, I had seen her slither back into her shell at the slightest sign of rebuke.

After last night, she had probably slinked back into her shell, mistaking my refusal to sleep with her for rejection. It will be a challenge to draw her out again, especially in the light of my confession.

And if she doesn't feel the same way then— no, I won't let myself go there. If she doesn't feel the same way about me then I won't force my love onto her. But I will wait until I hear the words right out of her mouth, no matter how scary it was.

Until then, I'll be sweet. I'll be caring and mature and everything she deserves. I'll be— my thoughts came to an abrupt halt as I heard the bedroom door getting thrown open.

"Shy ge—" Ruth's incomplete call, her very presence electrified the cells in my body. Even though I was shirtless in freezing cold temperature, my nerves felt on fire as heat coursed through them.

Commanding myself to get it together, I pasted a smile on my face, and turned, ready to give her a pleasant smile and inform her that Shy had gone out. But before I could form a single word, Ruth's appearance registered to me.

Her hairs were wet, framing her face and falling around her shoulders like curling vines. Her eyes were wide, an expression of shock frozen into them as she stared at me.

It looked like she was experiencing the same brain stall that I was having as she stood with her arms outstretched in front of her holding a small, red fire extinguisher can poised infront of her like it was a gun she was about to hose me down with.

Just as well, because I was on fire as her clothes registered to me. She wore a tiny, black lace frock-like lingerie that ended somewhere above her mid-thigh. It looked like a night dress that was not supposed to be worn all night long with its see-through material and barely there, matching set of undergarments inside.

But as mouth watering as the whole thing was, what blew me out of the water was the front of her lingerie.

It had a long, split opening, starting from the bottom hem of the dress up until the neck with a thin black ribbon tied at the top to hold both sides together.

All thoughts of restraint and maturity left from my mind as Ruth's image printed itself into it with blood roaring in my ears.

Oh my God.