Shock

Caleb's POV

1.... 2.... 3.... 4....

And that is the exact number of seconds it took for my resolve to leave the building. Apparently, Ruth being barely covered in scrapes of satin and lace was my limit.

Everything that I had been telling myself in the last 15 minutes evaporated in the face of that one fact. Damn.

Something clattered on the floor, but I couldn't bring myself to care enough and investigate the sound.

The beautiful satin skin that I had been envisioning mere seconds ago was right in front of me, uncovered and entirely accessible.

I let my eyes have a free reign and they travelled the length of her body, going upwards, appreciating every inch of her exposed skin. Beautiful. The word felt too insignificant to justify the sight.

I swallowed hard, forgetting everything that had happened since the time I opened my eyes this morning. Suddenly I was back in that bedroom, with Ruth in my arms. But this time, I wasn't going to be an idiot. This time, I wasn't going to stop. This time, I—

A look of pure horror broke through my lustful thoughts as my gaze reached her face. She looked frozen in her spot, weilding the fire extinguisher in front of her like a shield.

She obviously wasn't expecting me to be here, and the thought shook me out of my haze a little more.

That was when I looked at her clearly and in the absense of lustful glaze. The rims of her eyes were faint red and swollen, as was her nose. They stood in stark contrast against her face that looked pale at the moment. Too pale.

I carefully switched the stove off, and turned fully to face her, not even caring that I wasn't wearing any shirt. Pretty sure we were past that point now anyways.

"Ruth?" I called her name, carefully keeping my voice soft. She looked like even a smallest nudge would scatter her into pieces, so I held her gaze and slowly walked up to her, noting that she still didn't move or react but followed my movement with her eyes.

"Ruth, are you okay?" I stopped a few inches away from her outstretched arms, and reached out to touch her, but before I could make any contact at all, she let out a short, ear-piercing squeal and dropped the red can. Right on my toe.

"Omph! Fucking hell! Ow, ow ow, damnit!" I winced, and pulled my foot up, jumping on the spot as the heavy can thunked against the bone, hitting its target.

Ruth covered her mouth with both of her newly freed hands in horror and let out another high pitched squeal that sounded a garbled "OhmyGod, I'm sorry!"

Then before I could reply, or even stop bouncing like a monopod, she spun around and ran back inside the room, slamming the door shut decisively behind her.

"Ruth, wait!" I alternated between holding my foot up and maintaining the balance by stretching my arm out, as I hopscotched my way to her door.

"Ruth, wait. Don't run! Ouch, mother of God," I cursed, and slammed my hand against the door, both to support myself and call her attention.

"Ruth? It's me, Caleb!" I proclaimed, then slapped my free hand equally hard against my forehead at how fucking stupid I sounded. Of course she knew it was me. That was exactly why she had ran.

I took a deep breath, and tried to calm myself down. One would think that by now, I should be used to the contrasting situations that Ruth and I frequently found ourselves in, but no.

It was as new, and as physically painful as ever. In less than 2 minutes, she had managed to arouse me almost upto the point of physical pain, to inflicting a literal physical pain on me.

"Ruth baby, please open this door," I knocked, trying not to sound like someone who's toe was turning into a cherry tomato.

"Go away," her voice came from the other side of the door, and even though it didn't sound like she was talking to me, I answered her anyways.

"You don't really want me to go away, do you?"

"No! Yes. Oh God, I don't know!" It wasn't hard to imagine her standing on the other side with her back pressed against the door, hiding her face in her palms.

"Yes, you do. You don't want me to go away, Ruth. Not really." Atleast I hoped she didn't.

"Come on, Ruth. Don't hide from me."

"I'm not hiding! I-I am searching for dre— something." She sounded breathless, and I envisioned her running around her small room unsure of what it was she was searching for.

"What you were wearing was something. It was something, indeed." I murmured the last part to myself and then shook my head to clear it.

I carefully let go of my foot, allowing it to touch the floor, and winced in pain when it did. But I barely looked down at it as I pressed both of my palms against the door, and leaned onto it.

"Open the door, Ruth." Whether she heard something in my voice, or decided to abandon her pointless search, I wasn't sure. But suddenly the room beyond that door sounded quiet.

I pressed closer, anticipating to hear something but for a few minutes, no voice came. And when it did, it was barely louder than a mewling whisper.

"I thought you were gone," she said confessionally. Even though I had no way of knowing for sure, something told me that she was now standing in the exact same position as I was on the other side.

"I thought you took one look at me in the broad daylight, and regretted your decision to come find me yesterday. I thought you regretted saying— saying all that you did."

"Ruth," I sighed, closing my eyes and pressing my head against the door. How could I ever explain the depth of the feelings I had for her? I wasn't sure I even knew the right words, or had the capability to do this.

I was no poet, knew no sweet-talks. I wasn't even expressive enough to let her know what she meant to me in literal words, or how to me, her worth only kept on growing with every passing moment.

What I did know, was to state my case. Say what she made me feel in the most straightforward way possible. So that's what I did.

"Ruth, I have looked at you in broad daylight before. More than once. And each time I couldn't help, but fall even harder for you than before. I.... I'm not sure how I can explain this - this thing to you. I'm not, uh, very well-versed in expressing things verbally, the feelings and all."

"All I know is, that I meant what I said and that scares hell out of me."

I exhaled again, and opened my eyes to stare at the my feet, but not exactly looking at it.

"But now I understand that the prospect of losing you scares me a lot more than any confession or fear of rejection ever could. So I, well, there's that."

I scoured my mind for something else, but came up empty. Thankfully, she chose that moment to open the door without any warning. I stumbled, falling head first into the room, but Ruth was there to catch me.

Her arms wrapped themselves around my waist, and I gripped her around her shoulders to balance our combined weight and make sure that we both don't topple over backwards.

Up close, it was easier to avoid her enticing body covered with pieces of lace and satin and I forced myself to focus on it instead of the fact that she was in my arms again, wearing the something that barely qualified for clothes.

It took nearly all my strength, but I had a feeling that she was finally ready to open up, even if it was a little bit. And losing focus right now might make her shut down again.

So I forced myself to stay still, noticing slight wetness on her eyelashes, even though her eyes looked dry enough.

Yeah, she definitely had been crying. She blinked for a moment, adjusting to our sudden closeness, before looking at me through her wet lashes.

"I—I'm sorry," her beautiful voice sounded small, like she was reluctant to admit it. Her breath fanned against my lips but I gritted my teeth to control the urge to kiss her and forced myself to listen.

"I woke up and found you gone, and I j-just assumed the worst of you. Or, as Shy would say, thought lowliest of me." She tried to smile a little, but didn't succeed.

So she had realised I had left after all. And, now that she thought she was wrong, she was apologizing for thinking so lowly of me, all the while having no idea how right she was.

Her voice shook, as she continued, "It was wrong of me. I had no idea that—"

"Stop, Ruth. Just, stop." I cut her off with a whispered command, unable to let her continue her apology. My mind replayed the entire conversation about this very thing with Leo and Sairey, remembering the pros and cons that they had listed.

But in the end of it all, I knew it didn't matter. Because regardless of whether she would forgive me or not, I couldn't let her think that she was wrong, when she wasn't.

"Caleb?" She asked, looking at me with those heavy-lidded eyes that were too damn perceptive for their own good. But there was no question in her tone. Infact she looked like she knew exactly what I was about to say, but wanted a confirmation none the less.

So I took a deep breath, and answered, "you don't have to apologise, Ruth. Because you aren't wrong. I was gone."