Atone

Caleb's POV

For a few short seconds after my confession, Ruth went quiet. So quiet that I could hear the sound of wind that was howling outside and seeping in through the tiny gaps in window.

Generally, snowfalls were rare at this time of year, but it certainly looked like Leo's predictions were about to come true as a storm started brewing up outside.

As for the one that was brewing up inside, I wasn't sure what to do about it. I looked down at Ruth's blank face, hoping to catch some hint of what she was thinking.

But as we stood interlocked on the threshold of her bedroom I feared that today, one of my biggest limitation was about to be tested.

Noticing a few stray drops of moisture that were still stubbornly clinging to her lashes, I braced myself for a fresh batch of tears while trying not to cringe.

It was my fault, afterall. I had done this to her, and on her birthday no less. I should be able to keep my incapacity in dealing with tears aside and comfort her.

"Ruth," I whispered, bringing my arms from around her shoulders to her face. I cupped her cheeks tenderly and tried to gentle my voice.

"Ruth, please. Please don't cry, baby."

She didn't react for a moment, but then her unfocused eyes came up to rest on me and a split second later, the world turned upside down. Literally.

I stumbled back disoriented, as the frigid air suddenly went past my naked upper body, having no idea what had hit me. Was it an earthquake? The storm? A freaking tornado in December? I had absolutely no clue as I tried to gain my bearings.

My injured toe slapped against the floor and a curse left my mouth as the living room behind me suddenly came into view upside down.

Just as the gravity was about to pull me down, I braced both of my hands against the door frame, barely stopping myself from toppling over.

"Woah, what the—" I blinked repeatedly, trying to get my bearings and was greeted with the sight of Ruth who now stood some 2 feets away from me. Only, right then, she didn't look like a frail girl who was about to break down into tears.

No, she looked like a warrior goddess wrapped in silk and satin, who was about to incinerate me with a simple glare.

The way her eyes narrowed and focused on me made me have the strangest feeling that she was mentally imagining to do just that.

"Cry? Over you?!" She spat out the words in disbelief as she braced her fists against her hips and glared at me.

Even in the face of such a predicament, I couldn't help but notice how damned hot she looked in that pose before I forced my mind into the present.

"Ruth?" I spoke, in confusion or as caution, I wasn't sure. But it was useless, because Ruth was moving menacingly towards me and I quickly righted myself before her next push could make me completely fall over.

"Woah, Ruth!"

"You left!" She hissed, advancing ahead like a Terminator, and I stepped back with my hands up and palms out in surrender.

"Now, Ruth. Calm do—"

"Calm down?! You LEFT! Ran away," She cut me off, covering the gap between faster than I could have anticipated, and I increased the lengths of my strides.

"Now I wouldn't call it—"

"Sneaked out like a cowa—"

"Okay, if you'd just let me expl—"

"Explain? You wanna explain?" She heaved a breath, and I panicked. Because of the short length of the room, I had circled towards the couch and now, I quickly moved on to the other side of the arm chair when it looked like she was about to pounce onto me for all the wrong reasons.

But resourceful as she was, she grabbed a throw pillow that was placed as a backrest cushion on the armchair, and hurled it at me with all her might, aiming for my face.

I ducked down at the last moment, and it flew right over my head and lightly brushed the tops roses that were now directly behind me, before crashing against a wall clock, making it clatter on its nail.

"Hey, careful there, Ruth. Just listen to—"

"Listen to you? Listen to the man who sneaked out on me while I was sleeping? What could you even have to say to tha— and where in the God's name did those come from?"

She paused, breathing heavy and scowled at something over my shoulder and I followed her gaze to the humongous bouquet of 200 long-stemmed, red roses that sat stoutly in a royal blue pot on the side table by the couch.

"That? Oh, I uh, I got that for you," I replied her cautiously watching her stare at them in silence. Hearing my answer, she frowned in confusion and her eyes moved from the roses to me and back again a few times like something didn't add up, before settling to narrow on me.

"You? And flowers?"

"Why the hell not?" I asked with a tone of offense, but I could see her point. Like I had told Leo this morning, I have never been a cake and flowers kind of guy. Still, I couldn't help but feel a little defensive at the way she had said that.

"No reason. Just that, you have never struck me as a roses kind of guy," she shrugged, but stared at the bouquet like she couldn't take her eyes off it.

The colour in her cheeks were still high from her outburst, but I could sense her calming down. It was like the whole room around us was calming down.

The longer she stared at that ridiculously huge bunch of roses, the calmer she looked. Maybe Leo was onto something here afterall. So, I decided to take my chances and replied.

"Everyone is a roses kind of guy for his lady love's birthday, Ruth," I informed her softly, not even feeling guilty for stealing Leo's line from earlier.

Her head snapped back to me and she stared at me wide-eyed.

"W-what did you call me?"

"C'mon baby, you weren't the one who was drunk last night, so you can't feign a memory loss," I slowly stepped around the armchair that was separating us and towards her, instead of backing away and watched her closely for any signs of her anger returning, but it never came. Instead, she looked up at me with those beautiful dark eyes as I stopped just a few inches from her.

"You better not change your mind again, Caleb Cross," she tried to toughen her voice, making it sound like a warning, but it was too throaty to sound like one.

"My mind might change again and again, Ruth. A hundred times over, maybe. But my heart will never change. It will always want you. Only you."

It was killing me to refrain from touching her, but I needed to focus and I knew that letting myself indulge even a slightest bit would make me lose my mind. There were a few things that needed to be said, and say them I will, come what may.

"I was an idiot, Ruth. An idiot to run away from you, an idiot to think that what I was doing was the best I could do to protect my heart. Because what you make me feel, its scary. You have no idea how much power you have over me. And that's scary too."

I watched her throat work, but she remained quiet. Expectant. So I continued, "But what is the scariest of all, is the possibility of never having you in my life in the first place, even to fear losing you, Ruth. The scariest thing is to never get to learn how to confess my feelings to you, or tell you what you mean to me. I can't lose you, Ruth. You're just too precious to me."

Despite my best attempts, I glanced down at her, taking in the way her skin seemed luminous in contrast to the dark fabric of her clothes.

Maybe it was because of the lingerie, or the colour, or maybe it was just this girl, but I felt myself getting pulled to her like a moth to flames.

"It'll be the end of me, if I never got to be this close to you again. It will be the end of me, if I never got to match wits and bicker with you, or have you fluster and blush by making some inappropriate suggestion. And it'll definitely be the end of me if I never got to touch you again."

Unable to help myself, I ran my finger tips over her cheek, before dragging them down to her neck and throat, and over her pulse.

I felt it flutter faster under my caress, and I let the warmth of her skin resonate through me. Her breath was coming in short gasps now, and call me a pervert, but it was a fine sight to watch her as she looked up at me like she was in some sort of trance.

"You're the only woman who has ever made me feel both excited and calm in the same breath. And I cannot lose that Ruth. Call me selfish, but I cannot lose the peace that I have found in you. I cannot lose the home I've found in you. And above all, I cannot lose you. You're the only one who makes me feel contentment, but still keeps me hungry for more."

I realised that I was probably under her spell as well, as I rubbed my thumb over her pulse. My words sent a sense of deja vú through me and I recollected a foggy memory of saying something similar to this last night as well.

Her eyes widened, and recognition flashed into them confirming the fact that I had indeed confessed this to her last night as well.

Her rage from few minutes ago had vanished now, but her skin still looked deliciously flushed.

As if it could feel my scrutiny, the colour got deeper, travelling up her neck and cheeks, and I had the strongest urge to bend down and follow its progress with my tongue just to feel that heat beneath the skin.

I cupped her face in both of my hands, and then went on to bury my fingers into her hair as her hands came to rest on my arms.

In perfect synchrony, we both moved, taking a step closer to each other and I felt a jolt of electric current pass through me as her skin and lace scraped against my bare chest.

"Please don't push me away this time, Ruth," I whispered against her lips, before pressing a sweet, nibbling kiss against her lips.

Her hold tightened on my arm and she pulled me closer, before moving her hands up to my shoulders, leaving a trail of goose bumps in its wake.

I felt the tip of her tongue trace my bottom lip, and suppressed a moan that rose from deep within my chest. Damnit, this girl will drive me insane one day. But I'd gladly take that if it means I get to spend the rest of my days with her until then.

A small thought nudged at my memory. There was something we were talking about a minute ago, something important. But as the kiss deepened, all thoughts of talk left my mind.

She tasted so sweet, like a fresh morning dew or that first drop of rain. I wanted to lick every inch of her just to make sure I had her taste properly recognised and stored into my memory.

God, she was so beautiful. Despite my best attempts, my hand travelled down her body, over her arm and to her waist, finally finding that maddeningly sexy slit-opening in front of her sheer dress.

I groaned, feeling it slither and slip away at the slightest nudge, giving my fingers the access they needed to make a direct contact with her skin.

Velvet. That was the only identification I could label on the feel of her skin. It made me hungry for more. Lot more.

"This thing..... that you are wearing... Its driving me crazy," I whispered against her neck, as I angled her head back with one hand while continuing to explore her with my other.

I was finding it increasingly difficult to form a coherent sentence as all of my attention was focused solely on the feeling as much of her as I possibly could. She made me want to be both selfless and greedy at the same time. It was no wonder that I fell head over heels for her.

"Its a .... a feel good dress," she murmured, her eyes closed as she sighed. She buried her fingers in my hair and pulled me closer, tilting back and presenting me with a magnificent sight.

"Oh, it certainly feels good," my voice had gotten so husky that I wasn't sure if she could even make out the words, but it didn't look like she cared either way.