Ballin'

Met God, the old man was pretty chill.

You know for a God he sure is an airhead. The wishes he gave me were pretty useless because I had to explain everything to him.

Yes I wanted to be absolutely ballin'

It was a hassle to explain to God, but by all means this next life of mine is going to be perfect.

"Say mate you remember those boomboxes? they took cassette, CDs And RCA? those were ballin'"

wasting no time for my next breath, I know the guy could read my mind. But he is respectful of my privacy, which makes me remember Charles from the X-Men. Oh God dont let me meet him.

Gods eyes widened right Infront of me as he locks his gave to my forehead putting his hand with his fingers spread

"Eh-My child. I am flattered by the strong prayer. But that will still cost you a wish~" Later breaking out into a large smile and having a mall Santa laugh. giving me a strong pat on the back.

"So I am polite and shall take this wish to the fourth degree. I will not place you into a world where Charles Xavier exists. And I will give you a strong head and mind. Do make good use of them Child~ "

Summoning a slab of red plastic, Which upon closer inspection Is just a binder with a bunch of papers jammed in and one of the metal rings bent horrifically. My binder, from 7th grade that I was too poor to ever get a new one and too ashamed to grab one from the lost and found from the previous semester.

"Yes yes my child, this is a manifestation of your soul. I know all your feelings to it, your shame, guilt, anger and anxiety, paranoia, insomnia, bipolar- oh my what a long list" my eyes never left the binder.

"Fix it, you said that's a manifestation of my soul. Fix it" In a short monotone voice I raise my head to meet gods. seeing his hesitation and confusion

I just give up on receiving his help and close my eyes.

For what is wrong with a man as me, well to start off with I am always scared. But that's just the human condition, everyone has the seven heavenly graces and the deadly sins. I want none of those. All I want is my mind and logic. If god fixed what was wrong right away the instant he heard my wish rather than stand their like a cheap seasonal isekai lame intro to the mc-type of god.

I would have taken all the good Virtues like temperance, diligence and charity. Be a goody two shoes for the man. But the god in front of me is obviously a fake.

A tool for a broken system held in place by near comatose and still benchwarmers.

Overthrowing the bullshit Infront of me I absorb the shitty red binder through my torso in an instant and spit out a simple postcard sized photo. It lazily floats it's way to god and it shows gangster supreme Bart Dunkin on Jesus. All the while the stamp on the postcard shows the OG Roblox character Be Ballin.

I'm not sorry It's just Jesus is Kind of lame and wont talk back to his dad or grow a spine, Like he runs out. dies and spawns back three days later because of high ping. Only to die again. No way ever I'm trusting god.

Giving him a harsh glare I see him give out a cough and he opens his drawer to pull out a ticket printer, with a given dial of categories.

"Child it is only human to sin so even if you shocked me. 'ok we ball' to quote yourself"

God lackadaisy hands me the printer with a screen with a bunch of worn rubber buttons.

Glad to see this is a 'special' occasion for god.

In What way is this not a debit card scanner.

Looking at the screen I see the random selection and just spam the question mark for all the reincarnation buffs. Throwing it back to god whilst doin some light beatboxing and jumping lightly side to side I wait for my ticket to another life to develop.

As I hop god starts a rhythmic tap on his table.

a small smile grows on his face and I can see how genuine it's infectious.

Because a large Cheshire grin starts to grow on my face as well, I am literally just groovin with got happily joining in.

Before much else can happen I see my ticket ready. and well a subway station appears with little more than a whisper.

and of course it has the annoying subway spinny thing that takes tickets. and well.

That's not how I roll. I hope the turnstile and stuff the ticket in mouth and chew it into a wad of nasty.

the flavor though was delicious. For all the lead pigs I lazed by im surprised I taste something other than a electrical fire.

turning back to God, his face is stoic but his eyes hold a small amount of panic.

"No Harsh Feelings" guilty me goes and apologized to God. maybe he is the real deal.

nothing more than a head nod and a smile to confirm we good.

I go on my way.

entering the train I'm glad it's empty.