(Prologue) Nothing Can Take Me Back To You

PRESENT - SAN JUONE

Looking at the lambent, cold-colored street reminds me of you. I remember you so much that I just want to forget.

This was supposed to be a place for me to comfort and console myself before returning to the hell I came from, yet how am I supposed to do that when I met you at the very same place I thought was my last resort for my aching heart's refuge? You were there, smiling... embracing nothing but the heartache I have to offer.

You existed in a tiny space in my heart that I couldn't even give myself. The world I am in shouldn't know you, but you were there— bleeding with memories of me.

Every time I meet this road, I see myself wallowing in tears; I wear down my heart and squeeze out the memories I had with you. You helped me deal with myself and all the shit and the hell I let break loose.

I was too selfish for you, yet why did you accept all my mixed signals... Why did you let yourself fall for someone hell-driven— someone like me? You could've saved yourself from drowning in blues; you could've saved yourself from the sacrifices and lies you had to whisper— just for my sake.

How many years has it been? But here I am, still blindly blaming you for everything. I could've blamed myself and bled my ears by telling myself I should've been honest with you.

In those days that we passed together, I could've said thank you. I could've said you mean a lot to me— but I did nothing and just stayed by your side with all the peals of laughter, smiles, and sweet memories we shared that are now too much for you, because…

…those are now just memories that made you bleed alone while I was doing good far away from you.

You were the sanctuary I longed for, but I ruined you and left you alone as you walked on this road with nothing. You endlessly wished me well for the new life you guided me to seek, while I did nothing but savour the happiness you shared with me before I left.

In the end, I only have myself to blame, standing here all alone as I walk to new days without you. No matter how many times I return here even after learning the truth, I will, hopelessly and desperately, try to find you, and even if it's too late and I can't tell you anymore that I—

I'll be back, so please wait for me.