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New And Improved Harry Potter

When a wonky potion wipes Harry's memory, he turns into a sly and clever dude. Forget his old self – now he's all about outsmarting everyone and shaking things up. With his wits sharp, he's not playing by the rules anymore. Harry's newfound attitude shakes up the school as he refuses to be controlled. Expect plenty of foul language, a touch of character criticism, and loads of sci-fi nods. Harry's not just any wizard—he's a bit of a jerk. Get ready for a wild ride as Harry spins his own story, outthinking folks left and right.

Earthly_Writer · Book&Literature
Not enough ratings
66 Chs

Revelations and Retribution

Hermione deflated at that, she really didn't know much about the new Harry. He was so different from the introvert that he used to be. She was still attempting to get along with this more outgoing character. It was hard though with them arguing all the time. However, she still thought of him as her best friend. "I'm trying," she said softly as tears form in her eyes, "but he keeps some many things from me. I know he is, and he never used to do that before. I don't know what to do," she cried, and put her face in her hands.

"Oh dear, I didn't mean for you to cry. Shhh, there, there," Luna said, giving her a one-armed hug and holding her close. "I wanted to give you some advice that I hope will help," she whispered in to the other girl's ear.

Hermione sniffled for a few minutes, then used a napkin and dried her tears. Then she squared her shoulders, sure she wasn't going to like what was going to be said, and looked at the Ravenclaw. "I can take it," she stated with firm nod.

"Oh, don't fret so. It is rather easy to get alone with Harry. All you have to do is… listen," the small girl said with a bright smile, patting her arm as if it was really that simple.

"I do listen," was the defensive argument.

"No, you really don't. You may hear with your ears, but you don't listen with your eyes," Luna said vaguely.

"That doesn't make a lick of sense," the bushy-haired witch huffed. She knew the girl was going to say something barmy.

"It really does if you think about it," was the rebuttal. And with that Luna grabbed her bag and went to her tower. She had a book to read.

"Listen with your eyes," Hermione grumbled as she too left the Great Hall. She too had a book to read.

Rita's POV

Rita Skeeter was relaxing at her desk with her feet up and a cup of tea in her hands. She was satisfied with a good day's reporting. Everyone was talking about her article and they were all vilifying the boy-wonder. The paper had a good run tonight; they even did a second printing. She knew she should be getting started on her commentary for the next day but was content to relax for a minute.

Other reporters were glaring at her in jealousy or hate. They never liked that she could get way with such articles. Most of them tried to be good reporters, but with sensational sales like this evening's, well that didn't happen often. The Prophet was more of a tabloid, so most good stories were binned. Many wished that there were more papers to be employed with, but with only three major publications, jobs were limited.

Just then a beautiful snowy white owl flew through the owl window, carrying a smoking black envelope that was trialing on a long string. No one had ever seen a black Howler before, so they had no idea what it was. Wands went up and shields were cast as they all watched the bird fly to Rita's desk.

Rita looked at the letter with dubious eyes and tried to banish it. That was the spell to release the twine and the letter flew into the air and opened. Hedwig shot to the ceiling, and out the window. Soot was flung from the parchment, covering everything within ten feet of Skeeter. She coughed and waved her wand to rid of it, but that only set off the yelling part of the letter.

"Listen here you conniving two-bit reporter. If you ever write about me again without my permission or without talking to my lawyer, i will sue the pants off you. And if you think for one fucking second that i'm going to run and hide from your vile words, think again, bitch.

 

Call me a coward will you? I'll show you how much of one i am. Want to tussle with me? Bring it. You know where i'm staying. All you have to do is face me and we'll see who the bloody coward is. Or is all you can do is spit out lies to make you feel better? Afraid of a little boy with no memory. You'd know more magic than i, since i bloody well can't remember shite.

 

I have amnesia, you stupid cunt, and if you think that that is bullshit then all you have to do is talk to madam pomfrey and she will confirm it. Do your fucking research. You're supposed to be a reporter. What kind of reporter just writes shite like this evening's article. That's not reporting, just some hack spouting bullshit to sell papers. Well, if you think you can get away with this, think again. I've got my fucking eye on you and you'd better watch your step, or i'm going to crush you. I may not remember much, but i do have people who are more than will to help me put you down like the bug you are.

 

As for snubbing the triwizard tournament, let's just say that i will not play in those stupid roman games for a bunch of bloodthirsty fucking people that i don't know. If you want someone to die for the masses, then be my fucking guest and do it your damn self. I didn't put my name in that damn goblet. That is the last i have to say on that matter.

 

I will burn you if you try and do this to me again.

 

Do you understand?"

The Howler then burst into flames setting the desk on fire, but it burned out before it hurt anything but Rita's notes and her half-written article.

Suddenly there was the sound of clapping. Soot flew from her wiry hair as Rita turned and scowled. She all but growled when she saw the rest of the reporters cheering her misfortune. She picked up her soot covered alligator purse and left the building. She'd see what he thought of tomorrow's article. A wicked smile crossed her face. Little did she know that the Howler was far more than it appeared to be.

Harry's POV

The next day the first thing Harry did was mail his letter to Waters. He wrote a quick note to Sirius and had Dobby take it to him. He hoped that the man got lucky today, and would be in a good mood tomorrow. He went back to the dorms and picked up Neville and Hermione, the latter looked thoughtfully at him. He raised an eyebrow, but she just shook her head with a small smile, and gushed over the Gryffindor book. They met Luna on the way and went to the Great Hall. Sitting in their usual seats, they talked about Magical Theory as they ate.

The post owls came and soon there was a lot of laughing when the Prophet was read. There on the front page was Skeeter covered from head to toe in soot as the black Howler was exploding. It replayed that scene over and over. The headline read.

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