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New And Improved Harry Potter

When a wonky potion wipes Harry's memory, he turns into a sly and clever dude. Forget his old self – now he's all about outsmarting everyone and shaking things up. With his wits sharp, he's not playing by the rules anymore. Harry's newfound attitude shakes up the school as he refuses to be controlled. Expect plenty of foul language, a touch of character criticism, and loads of sci-fi nods. Harry's not just any wizard—he's a bit of a jerk. Get ready for a wild ride as Harry spins his own story, outthinking folks left and right.

Earthly_Writer · Book&Literature
Not enough ratings
68 Chs

Dumbledore's Observations

Rita's POV

Rita Skeeter was taking a bath for the hundredth time today. It was the reason she never showed up to work, that damn soot was still covering her. No matter what she did, she couldn't get it off. Her hair and skin on the front have of her body was black as coal and no magic would make it otherwise. The rest of her was her normal self.

She tried to settle down and write, but every time she saw her hands she was compelled to wash them. It was infuriating.

She was going to get that scrawny runt if it was the last thing she did. She finally gave up on regaining her true coloring, got dressed, grabbed her handbag, Disapparated to Hogwarts gates, and morphed into a bug. Much to her dismay, she now looked like a dung beetle. Deciding there was little that could be done about that, she flew up the path.

She never saw today's paper, as if she would read that rag. There was never anything good in it, but for her articles; she was the best after all.

Dumbledore's POV

Flitwick and 'Moody' came back into the Hall and sat back at their seats. "Pray tell, what did Harry want, Filius?" the Headmaster asked, doing his usual grandfather glasses routine.

"Such a thoughtful young man, he let us know that there was a Boggart in the library corridor," the cheerful man stated, deciding he would take care of his House on his own. There was no need to trouble the Headmaster about it. "Never fear, we took care of it."

"Did he, indeed? Well, that is a wonderful surprise," Albus said as his eyes sought the messy-haired teen, thinking that the kinder more polite Harry was emerging. 'Maybe his friends are changing him? Soon he will go back to admiring me for the great man I am,' he thought with a happy grin. 'Yes, the poor boy may never remember, but he will see the truth soon enough.' And with those delusional thoughts the old man went back to eating his dinner.

Harry's POV

"The old man is twinkling again," Luna said in a sing-song voice as she made a fort out of her mashed potatoes.

"I wonder if he is trying to read someone else's memory," Harry said, looking at her fort with admiration. It was really good.

"No," she said vaguely as she ate the roof off her finished building. "I think he is just having happy thoughts."

Harry shrugged and went back to his own meal, thinking up ways that his payback to others might come back and bite him. He knew the spell that he placed on Rita was irreversible, which is why it took so much out of him, so he didn't have to worry about that. Weasley was a minor annoyance, but he was trying to play with the big boys. Right now, the dark-haired teen was trying to decide whether spiders or Worf, in full Klingon regalia, would be the better bet into scaring the boy off. Speaking of Ron, he cast a glance down the table and saw the boy shoveling food in his mouth with a very disgruntled face.

With a flick of his finger, Harry set a small illusion on the boy. He then went back to eating.

Ron's POV

A large hairy spider came from the ceiling and dangled in front of Ron, and then it just dropped on his arm. "Get it off! Get it off!" yelled the redhead as he swatted a spider that wasn't there.

"Get what off?" Dean asked, looking over he roommate. He didn't see anything to remove. He really didn't like Ron, not that he was a bad bloke, but he badmouthed everyone. Ever since Potter's name came out of the Goblet, the redhead had gotten worse. Most the Gryffindor tower avoided him. The skunk prank had made it easy. He was however glad that the jinx wore off and with it the smell disappeared. He and Seamus learn a lot of fumigations spells over the last week. Neville, on the other hand, learned a bubble spell to protect his belongings from the offensive odor.

"Don't you see that big hairy spider?!" the redheaded teen yelled, still swatting the insect, not noticing that his hand was going through it. All he saw was his greatest fear crawling up his arm. Why wouldn't that damn thing get off?

"You're barmy, there's nothing there," Seamus stated, and then went back to his dinner. He felt much the same way has Dean did.

The illusion faded and the youngest Weasley male left in a huff. He knew Potter had something to do with it, but when he had looked all he saw was a blank face. There was no wand present, so it couldn't have been the git, but he knew that the cheater had done something. He looked to his brother's and they were laughing their arses off, maybe he set the twins on him. He cursed the fact that he had been seen in the corridor.

Hermione's POV

"What did you do?" Hermione accused, looking to the twins after the other boy left. She wanted to go and help him, but he had been such a prat to her lately.

"Us? Oh, that wasn't us?" they denied, holding their sides and sitting up straighter, mirth still lining their identical faces. That was a great; they'd have to ask Harry how he did it. They needed to get the boy to make them copies of the book that Hermione was reading. Then they could pull off hysterical shite like that. Things like illusion jokes would be wonderful for their shop. Oh the endless possibilities.

She looked to Harry, who was just eating, albeit chuckling, shook her head and went back to her book.

"Weasley twins!" McGonagall yelled as she moved towards the students.

"We didn't do it!" they exclaimed, taking out their wands and presenting them to the irate teacher.

She checked them over and snarled. She was sure it had been them. It wasn't the first time this year they embarrassed their younger brother. She turned to her other troublesome student, who was already handing her his wand. After clearing Harry, she growled under her breath and left to find the younger Mr. Weasley. She needed to know what happened.

Sirius' POV

Sirius was ecstatic that he was finally out and about. He had finished Merlin's book and was excited, though nervous, to get started but first he wanted to have some fun. He had gotten some new clothes earlier and felt like a new man. Right now he was chatting up some bird, who granted was a few years younger than him. However, he wasn't going to complain since she was of age. "So, why's a good looking woman like you sitting here by yourself?" he asked in his most suave tone. He was really out of practice.

She was a good looking woman, about twenty-five and had long straight blonde hair. Her curves were to die for, and she was wearing new clothes from Tylor's Threads, which accented them quite nicely.

"Waiting for my twin sister," she giggled. "We do everything together," she purred as she leaned towards the handsome man. She hadn't seen him before; maybe they could have some fun. It wouldn't be the first time she and her twin played a little slap and tickle together.

"Really? Maybe we three can to something together," he said smoothly, sidling closer to the girl. "Tell me more about you and your sister. Are you identical?" he added as he waved Madam Rosmerta to refill their drinks. Now all he had to do was figure out where he was going to take them, since he couldn't go to the Shack. Rosmerta rented rooms, didn't she? Well, he'd figure it out, later.

"Oh, yes we're the same… everywhere," she purred again, pressing those curves on his arm.

"Lovely." Oh, yeah, Sirius was going to get lucky tonight.

.....

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