79. The other Side Of Me

Being a person who'd often felt guilty, Niel couldn't stop thinking about how open ended their last conversation had concluded with his fated. Upon pondering over their argument repetitively, his guilty consience forced him to go insearch of Elric.

"Another altimatum... Where do I get the courage to waste time like this? ...Or perhaps he thought I left to the states again? Still, that asshole messed up my phone and now nobody believes I can pay up my rent." He'd thought to himself after he'd temporarily relocated to his grandparents house.

Additionally, having booked the same schedule to attend the last class, he later was notified of Elric's early attendance due to personal reasons. He wanted to contact him but he hadn't yet replaced his cellphone. He felt helpless without it that it had forced him to physically go in search of available rentals with no success. No one was willing to rent out their place to someone who had no proof of paying rent and the fact that he was not contactable to potential property owners made his situation worse. After a while, he contemplated on getting a part time job as soon as possible even if it meant commuting back and forth from his grandparents far off home.

It was easy finding Elric's enormous house. He'd previously helped Yeon's father get there since the fire incident three weeks ago and when he'd arrived, he felt relieved to not have caught the sight of Elric's mother. The help received him and showed him where Elric's room was. Apparently, the staff remembered him from Elric's pictures of him...another matter he wished to follow up with Elric later.

"That sneaky bastard!"

Apparently, Elric had left instructions not be disturbed while working however, the help advised Niel to enter without knocking claiming Elric got startled easily. She'd been right for Elric was completely engrossed in watever he was doing. He'd never set eyes on Elric reading a book. Not even once and with his back facing the door, he'd swiveled the chair to face the window that he didn't notice when Niel walked in from behind.

Niel crept quietly behind him and didn't say a word until he'd been close enough yet away from Elric's view.

He appeared to be typing something Niel did not want to bother him therefore, he took his time to scan the papers on the table, each categorized and labeled differently. Skimming through without touching them, they seemed to be concerning the case Elric and his mother were working on.

He further walked around the enormous room, wondering to himself how Elric might have felt lonely growing up here. Everything was immaculately set. His room oozed elegance and boasted expensively. He wondered to himself how Elric must have felt sleeping in that cheap motel he'd left him in. Maybe that's why he insisted on them moving to his apartment.

Walking back towards his fated, Niel decided to make his presence known and when a startled Elric turned his head to look up, a broad smile formed on his face at the sight of Niel.

"How long have you been standing there?" Elric asked while he took off his spectacles.

"A while."

"I guess you can miss someone too, huh?" Elric teased as he swiveled his seat to face Niel then placed his laptop on the table.

"I've never seen you this serious before. You come out as someone who doesn't care about school and stuff."

"Everyone in my family is either a lawyer or practicing the same field. My parents were rivals from different prominent law firms too so even if I were to refuse this path, it would eventually catch up to me. Handling the current case is not my first assignment anyway. I've worked with my mother on many occasions that I've lost count. I can practice law perfectly, but I can't take a case alone just yet."

"You must love it then to help her out."

"That choice is a luxury I can't afford and now that I've met my fated mate, all fun and games have come to an end for me. The moment we wed, it has already been planned for me to take a break for a year to conceive and afterwards, I'll be back to follow the proper succession of the family business from my mother to me and to our child..."

"Hold up right there! What the heck are you talking about?" Niel felt completely rushed. He'd just got here and Elric was bombarding him with a marriage proposal and a baby...? He barely had a job to support himself to begin with! Fuck! He couldnt even afford to purchase himsel a proper cellphone!

"Isn't it obvious? We are fated already so what else after that except marriage and having kids?"

"That is not a future I envisioned for myself. Did it perhaps cross your mind even once to include me when making those plans?"

"Of course. My mother and I were planning on that. All these things are not achievable without you obviously."

"So I'm just some tool for you to use to get to whatever you and your family want?"

Elric looked confused when he asked. "Why do you look displeased with the plan? Or would you rather we beat about the bussh..."

"Fucking forget it!" Niel frowned. "I only came to check how you are doing and you seem just fine." Turning to leave, he added. "I'll be off now..."

"Wait... I've been meaning to come to the address you gave me but I barely had time lately. I know Yeon's parents home far too well. I was there sometime back in search of your scent but with the current status of events, I have to help out my mother with this case."

"You're not even a certified lawyer. Why submerge yourself entirely in this case?"

Elric seemed further confused as to why Niel was acting all moody. He took in a deep breath to calm down. He didn't want to get into another argument with him however, he felt fatigued and starved of his fated's scent that he didn't know which issue to address first.

"My dear Zaddy is worried about me. I find that admirable but do not fret. I've spent my childhood in the courtroom than in this house. I only joined collage to acquire certification so as to get lisence of practice and I do not need to receive my certificate to practice it. My transcripts allow me the opportunity to play my part as an acting intern just as much. I can handle whatever is thrown at me despite the sensitivity of this case."

"No matter." Niel shook his head remembering his purpose. "I was hoping we could talk...about us."

"That's definately an interesting topic yet I hardly have time for a little chat." Passing his hands gently on the files on top of his table, he added. "I'm supposed to organize all these data before midnight. My mother and I are looking to fight an old business partner that dates back to my great grandparents. It won't be easy that's why I need to be extra vigilant. Mora's family and mine have been woven together like a fabric for years therefore, even if one evidence is left unseen, like how a comma or a full-stop could change the meaning of a sentence, the consequences will either be them loosing everything they have or we will."

Niel listened at Elric's in-depth explanation of the sensitivity of the situation and understood why he seemed serious about the matter. He'd simply assumed he was avoiding him, not wanting to talk about their last disagreeemt that lead him to abandoning him in that hotel...for the second time. Maybe it was not the right time to worry him with such, not to mention the marriage issue which was completely ridiculous. However, he still felt compelled to ask him of it briefly.

"Why a year?"

"I don't get you." Elric's mind was back at the files on the table.

"You mentioned a year earlier. Marriage then conceive...all that in a year."

"It was stipulated in my father's will before he died. You saw my imprint, so you know he's the person I loved the most and lost." Elric responded absentmindedly and Niel felt compelled to grab his attention further.

"Elric..."

"It's not the right time to talk about him."

"But then..."

"I promised my father I'd protect my mother." Leaning back on this chair, he continued, his attention finally on Niel. "You accused me of having an imaginary friend...or rather giving my pain a name. Well, if you must know, the name of my pain is my father's name. And pain gives me strength, not false hope. I can choose what pain to feel, it's magnitude or whenever to feel it... Pain gives me clear guidance and perspective for I know what and whom to avoid. Without allowing myself to feel it, I don't know what or who can hurt me, where, when and why....or perhaps how much damage can be caused by an enemy to my mother and I. If I'm a little careless, I could end up being eaten away because I've become numb at feeling it therefore, pain is like a constant reminder...a guide on how to live my life. It is also a good teacher. Do you get me now...the relationship between me and what you find revolting?"

"But you're hurting...and this makes me want to protect you."

Elric laughed aloud, enjoying the bewildered look on Niel's face. "No harm can befall me just yet. I'm useless to my father's assets until I officially take over them with an heir..."

"I don't want this for you. I know for a fact this is not what you want for yourself either so how I'm I supposed to just sit by and not act? This is not how I envisioned being with my fated..."

"Do you love me then?"

Elric's question brought Niel to silence. In truth, he hadn't thought about that. All this time since he got back, he'd just been focused on taking responsibility for his fated. Not even once did he think himself getting married that soon or having children either. He felt rushed and this question from Elric was more like an accusation.

Looking at Elric who seemed to be waiting eagerly for his answer, it was clear what was running through his mind. He knew what an imprint meant without having to be said out loud. Elric may have asked him that question however, it was also a confirmation of how he felt, knowing full well Niel despised him. An unfortunate burden bore by those being marked, exposed by the change in their eye colour.

"Do you even like me?" Elric asked once more, remembering his conversation with Yeon when he'd differentiated between love and liking someone.

"Neither I presume." Elric concluded from Niel's loud silence.

"I do not wish to lie to you Elric. You and I both know one can sleep with someone without feeling anything..."

"And we did exactly that."

"Were you hoping for more then since we are fated?"

"I was hoping to be done with my work before my mom comes to collect them at midnight."

Elric's words struck a cord in Niels heart. He knew his fated was hurt by his remark but didn't exactly know how to apologize or what to apologize for. It felt like he owed him a lot of apologies but also felt offended at the same time by Elric's previous comments.

"Will you help me out?" Elric asked, pulling him away from his thoughts.

"Huh?" Niel seemed confused.

"The files." He pointed at them again. "I need to organize them in order of their dates and time. Some share a common date so be extra vigilant."

"Okay." Niel nodded, relieved to be of some use to the ongoing case. He'd wanted to help out previously but felt insignificant since his only involvement with the case has been through Mijin and he'd promised Yeon not to say a word just yet.

"You don't have to love me. Liking me is more than enough"

"What?"

Elric laughed once more, his eyes on his laptop again. "I can tell that you're thinking about my question. I can also sense your worry. Remember us being fated gives us a unique sense of ability and obligation to sense each other's needs. Yearning, they call it. I'm sure it's what brought you seeking me out in the first place."

"I just want to do things right Elric. I'm trying not to mess up this time or take anything for granted."

"You won't...but I will."

"What do you mean?"

"I know you saw more than just my pain Elric. You saw me sceting another... something that has been my biggest fear. However, I have no intention of stopping to do that. Now that I can manipulate more than one scent, I'll continue to do what you saw in my imprint of..."

After a while, Niel spoke. "You scenting your mother..."

"Yes. No one complains when a parent scent their child, yet frowns upon the child doing the same to their parent." Glancing up at Niel, he added. "When my dad left, my mother became my life and since I made a promise to my father, I refuse to give her up therefore if you force me to stop, I'll hate you for it."

"Is that why you always wanted to meet your fated mate? To uncover more scents in you for her?"

"Precisely."

"Fine then. I wont stop you."