41. Chasing A Fantasy

What made you so late yesterday that Stan had to be the one to bring you over?" Niel asked Yeon. They were sitting on the floor, using Yeon's folded futon as a table.

"It's a long story which I do not want to talk about."

"Honestly I would have never expected to ever see you and that arrogant bastard together. You coming out of his car looking comfortable made my eyes sore."

"Same goes to you. " Yeon said, unable to understand why Niel was judging him when he had willingly rode in Stan's car the day they'd come together to Stan's parents house. "He actually called you to come and see me that day?"

"He did say you've been missing family and friends so I volunteered to come seeing that I'd wanted to clear somethings with you. Why hadn't he completed the mark anyway? You two are playing a dangerous game acting complaisant and all."

"Please do not talk about that topic with me ever again. Everywhere I go that is all I hear. His parents are both doctors, his uncle and who knows who else. Let's talk about other interesting topics like what is currently happening between you and Mijin."

"I could also say I do not wish to talk about it however, I can't blame you for wanting to know more after leaving you hanging like that the other day. By the way, did you bring my jacket, the one I'd lent you?"

Handing over the jacket to him, Yeon was disappointed to hear Niel insist he should start being more dependent on Stan's scent.

"I thought we agreed on not talking about him."

"I can't help it, I'm concerned for you Yeon. Why are you postponing it and being sturbbon about it? The guy clearly likes you so I'm guessing you're the one not cooperating."

"It's not that easy having sex with someone I used to hate."

"Used to hate can be a step towards tolerating him enough to allow him to mark you then leave him...though I wouldn't suggest that since you two are fated." Niel's expression was bemused when he added, "...but seriously, everyone searches for their fated, aren't you at least thrilled it's with a good looking guy...without paying much attention to his arrogance and his temper?"

Yeon laughed a little. Hearing all these from Niel considering how he feels about him sounded ridiculous especially after knowing how much he and Mijin had despised Stan. However, he wanted to ask him what he'd thought of Stan and their proposed sexual friends 'situation-ship.'

Yeon went on further to expound on that matter assuming he would understand more since he had been in an open relationship with Mijin for several months, even though that led to their original relationship coming to an end.

"That won't work. There is always someone who ends up loving the other more. In my case it was me...see where it got me?" Niel asked, shrugging his shoulders in surrender. "I miss your sister so much and there is nothing I can do about this aftermath loneliness. I used to hear her sneaking behind me and pretend to be surprised, the little gifts she'd buy me because she was thinking of me, our time spent together...I used to laugh at her reaction whenever she'd start sneezing nonstop after I let out my scent. Even though in the end she was unable to bear it, I was glad he'd accepted me despite that. Nowadays, I have a lot of happy memories together with her that I'm often finding myself regretting giving her that ultimatum."

"You know she has been looking for you right? She won't stop until she finds you."

"I know. I had to stay in a cheap hotel for a while before I moved here. I'll be graduating soon, that's why I rented out this place temporarily. I don't intend on being here for the ceremony since I'll be leaving for the states. A change of environment might help me recover from this heartache."

"Yet you still love her despite knowing what she did to me." Yeon stated the obvious, seeing that Niel pondered over their time together so foldly.

"I've loved her despite knowing what she can do to me. Look Yeon, your sister loves no one but herself..."

"A few weeks ago you seemed confident of her feelings for you," Yeon said, remembering how many a times the'd kissed and cuddled in front of him.

"I guess somehow deep inside, I always knew but pretended. That's why I put up with anything she said, hoping that in the end it was going to be just the two of us. Little did I know I was allowing her to get away with a lot of things until everyone took me for a nincompoop. Your dad has always mocked me for as long as I can remember and even if your mom rarely said anything, she knew too, that Mijin was always like this and there was never going to be me and her pairing..."

An uncomfortable silence filled the room as each of them got lost in their thoughts.

After dining, Yeon thought to inform Niel a possibility of mending Mijin's displeasure of Niel's scent. He wanted to throw him a bait and see if he will catch it. If he doesn't, he was willing to reconsider his decision of not telling Niel how he feels about him. "My new project is about scents. I might be able to help her accept your scent somehow if I'm successful."

"Why would you do that despite knowing what she did to you?" Shaking his head, Niel added, "you forgive too easy Yeon and that will become your demise."

"I didn't say I have forgiven her. She is the reason why I'm now stuck with Stan unless I figure out a way to separate myself from him."

"I don't get why you're so hellbent on rejecting him when so many people would wish to be in your place. I hate to say this out loud but can't you at least give someone a chance this time? It's unfortunate it has to be him. Don't you wish to be with someone someday, be in love, start a family? Aren't you tired of being constantly lonely? I've been at it for a few weeks now and I'm already exhausted..."

"I already like someone." Yeon cut in, unable to stand people always assuming he wasn't normal for wanting to be left alone.

"Really? How comes you've never told me about this?" Niel couldn't hide his surprise, though he suspected Yeon could be lying about it just to avoid speaking of this subject. "So your heart does actually work just fine, yet you've been pretending not to want to be tied up with someone all these years I've known you."

"I like someone, I never said I was going to act on my feelings."

"That's sad Yeon. We met three years ago and soon after you were nursing a heartache but you can't be holding a grudge with yourself that long. Stop blaming yourself for things that happened in the past."

"You're busy giving me advice yet you're the one nursing a fresh wound. Don't you regret wasting your time being with Mijin. You can't recover three years."

"Of course not. In that time we were together, I enjoyed myself being with her. I even went to the extent of willingly accepting to let her go when she met her fated mate. I admit feeling vindictive and bitter but now, I just wish to move on peacefully."

"...but you're leaving her now when still hasn't met her fated."

"Because if I proceed beyond this then I'll be purposely wasting my time. I have no regrets for giving my best whenever I could. I stood by every ridiculous idea she came up with since I loved her. I trusted her and accepted her. I even gave a try to the open relationship idea but couldn't go further than a few flings. It just didn't feel right. In the end I had to accept she was never going to be mine. Her rejecting my scent should have been the first sign and as much as I want to support you on your project, sometimes it's better to leave things the way they are. If we interfere then we mess up with the balance of nature. Do not do that project with the hope of making people accept another's scent as you have suggested for me and Mijin. It wasn't meant to be since I can never change my scent. It's meant for my true pair or fated to accept. Neither should you mess with the synch in scents between you and Stan. I may dislike him, but there is a reason your scent chose his and the fact that you're both fated means no matter what you do, even if you part from him for fifty years, he will still find you."

"Fifty years without him in my life would be just fine." Yeon added sturbbonly.

"For someone like me who wishes to meet their fated...to hear you say that, I'd be upset but since I'm your friend who is aware of your past, I can forgive you for now."

After a long silence from Yeon, Niel asked, "So will you do it?"

"I already submitted my report for the project."

"I'm not talking about that."

"I don't want to talk about it Niel..."

"I don't care what you want just tell me! You owe me intel after making me see his face late at night and letting him know where I live. I don't want him as a friend and neither as a guest."

Seeing that Niel was hellbent on finding out what was happening between them, Yeon surrendered. "We did come to an agreement. Three times a week and in those times, I'd stay with him. It would be convenient if I took my rest days from the project for that. I'll be in the lab for four days and then I'll come to his place for three days to rest."

"I feel you're taking this matter far too lightly. What makes you think he will allow you rest? I'm sure you've heard me and Mijin hundreds of times. He is not some math problem with a definite answer Yeon. He is someone that likes you...a lot! I get it's been long since you were in a relationship but you are far to narrow in your thinking. You need to get your stamina up. I believe you will be resting more in the lab than when you are with him."

After staring at Yeon for a while, Niel asked, "are you a virgin?"

"What the actual fuck! Have you forgotten how you were shamelessly making out with Mijin, as if listening to my ex girlfriend cheating on me turned you two on? I've been in serious relationships twice in my life and you've met both of my girlfriends! You met Suzzie at my place when that asshole came with his parents!"

"Haha...sorry about that. Mijin and I have some weird fetishes so don't bite me. You also don't need to prove anything to me. Suzzie wouldn't have come back if she didn't find you good enough either."

"It's way too late to apologize don't you think?" Yeon said grudgingly. "No matter. It can't be that complicated sleeping with a guy. Sex is just sex."

"Except the part where you'll be on the receiving end." Niel added, still amused that Yeon saw no need to change that nonchalant character of his.

"I try not to think about it, but I guess it can't be helped. According to the professor, I'm the best candidate for this project and I willingly volunteered for it. I'm looking at people who've gone through what I did and weren't lucky to have been rescued by their fated's scent. I'd like for them to know there is some form of coping mechanism even though it may be temporary. I can't alter mother nature, but if I'm succesful, I can make it easier for those who aren't able to enjoy a normal life."

"I'm surprised Stan agreed to this ridiculous naive delusion of yours."

"He had to. Sex is involved."

"Then you must be ready for the consequences of your decision. This game you're both planning to play will not end well. That I can guarantee you for free."