Intoxicating [bonus]

[ A/N: Bonus chapter today for finally hitting the 10-reviews mark. Cheers and thanks for the high rating, I hope I'll continue to keep your laughter going! /ThugB ]

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The next day in the Konoha Ninja Academy, the training area was surrounded by students waiting to showcase their abilities. Also, getting to see Malaria get squashed maliciously will be a highlight of the day.

"The amount of students that are getting assessed today are truly surprising." One student waiting for his turn on the stage commented.

"You don't say. Malaria has been styling on the seniors despite not moulding any chakra." Another agreed.

"Who could've thought that Uchiha Dobito and Akimichi Boruto would be defeated by such embarrassing methods?" A member from the Senju clan couldn't help but comment.

"Akimichi Boruto was really unfortunate. To think he got ambushed before the spar even began." Tenten's mother couldn't help but sigh in melancholy.

"The result was even more insufferable. Malaria got declared the winner without any fighting. The spar was definitely rigged." The Uchiha little beauty snorted.

"Actually, Uchiha Dobito is even more woeful than Akimich Boruto. I'm told that the Uchiha clan has accepted the forced marriage between Dobito and Himarawi under the Food Court's economic pressure." The Yamanaka girl that started the bidding on Dobito added.

"You can't be serious. How can the Uchiha clan accept it?" a passer-by student asked.

"The Uchiha Patriarch is ambitious. He might not accept it if the rice wasn't cooked, but since it has already been done, he won't refuse having a connection with the Food Court shareholders." The Yamanaka girl confirmed.

"But how could he do this to his kinsmen?" The civilian students at the training ground couldn't understand.

"For those in high positions, only benefits are eternal. Does a child in the clan mean anything to them?" The Uchiha little beauty said with some sadness.

"How pitiful!" Everyone cried out unanimously.

"Everything that happened to Uchiha Dobito boils down to that devil Malaria." The Senju clansmen concluded.

"That's right! Repeat after me! Expel the scoundrel Malaria, throw out the perverted teacher, for the sake of the Ninja Academy's purity!" The Uchiha little lady started another chant just like yesterday.

"Expel the scoundrel Malaria, throw out the perverted teacher, for the sake of the Ninja Academy's purity!" Everyone joined, shouting out the words with zeal.

"Expel the scoundrel Malaria, throw out the perverted teacher, for the sake of the Ninja Academy's purity!" The clamour turned louder and louder, once again the Hokage heard the noise in his office.

In the instructor's area, the first year's teacher wanted to smack Malaria over the head for his shamelessness. He had seen the report Danzo submitted about that brat's combat strength, and it was appalling.

He could easily defeat opponents several ranks stronger than himself, but he had to use those inessential tricks in the assessment spars. Even he, his teacher, had been affected severely by his antics.

"Haha!" Danzo guffawed, satisfied with Malaria's performance where he was smart enough to always hide his true capabilities. Standing in the canopy of a tree, he was waiting to see what else that child's twisted mind could conjure up.

That brat didn't even show any respect for Namikaze Minato and used the man as his personal wallet. He was truly a clever, practical, and dark young man. Very good!

Malaria was so much better than that scoundrel Orochimaru. He could be said to have passed Danzo's test with flying colours. 'He would be perfect as my stand-in for the Root.' Danzo thought.

--

On the training ground, Malaria observed his next opponent carefully as if his eyes had unlocked the Byakugan. His next opponent was a busty beauty from the Hyuuga clan, one of the goddesses in the Ninja Academy.

She was wearing short pants, where a holster for Kunai were tied to her right thigh, wearing a white kimono jacket. Her breasts were so breath-taking that she didn't look like a Ninja Academy student at all. They were threatening to pop out at any slight movement!

Her black hair, her delicate face, and her soft but white and enchanting eyes – Malaria felt that he was intoxicated! 'Could she possibly be the mother of Hinata and Hanabi? Hiashi truly stepped in dog-shit luck.' Malaria thought.

"Goddess Hyuuga-sama, beat Malaria!" The audience cheered.

"Goddess Hyuuga-sama, we support you!" They clamoured.

"Goddess Hyuuga-sama, I love you…" Someone looking suspiciously like Hyuuga Hiashi stood in the crowd, blending in with the others.

All the male students went crazy after Hyuuga Hikari appeared in the fighting ring. Their cheers echoed throughout the training area.

"Have you seen enough?" asked Hikari curtly as Malaria wouldn't let off his staring.

Malaria nodded at first, but then shook his head. "I have seen enough, but I don't know they would be to touch. Would you let a fellow cup a feel?"

"Humpf!" Hikari snorted and turned to Namikaze Minato that suddenly appeared in the arena. "Are you still not starting the spar?"

Without further ado, and not giving Malaria a chance to speak, Minato simply said, "Let the battle begin!"

Instantly, Hikari's eyes filled with veins as she activated her Byakugan, pulled out a kunai from her thigh-holster and threw it at Malaria.

That kunai was made of chakra metals, glowing ominously!

Malaria's pupils contracted. He barely dodged the flying chakra-infused kunai, but it still caused a wound to appear on his shoulder.

"You dodged it?" Hikari looked at Malaria, stunned. Her kunai was a top-tier item that her clan had let her borrow, just so she wouldn't be at risk and come under assault by this perverted beast.

It was truly surprising that Malaria, whom still was classified as a civilian, managed to get away from its trajectory.

All the audience were also astounded. Malaria was too fast even for the standard of an elite genin when he dodged that attack.

That's not right. It should be impossible!

Malaria doesn't have any chakra; how come he could react in time with his little to no experience in combat? Did he use some sort of forbidden drug he had concocted to get super-human reflexes?

That's still not right… This is truly unbelievable!

Malaria was walking with a steady posture, showing no signs of excess sensitivity or overpowering strength his body couldn't handle.

The instructors from the senior classes all inched closer to the arena and looked at Malaria in disbelief. They finally understood why the first year's teacher and the Hokage would reward him for continuing to fight in the assessment.

Malaria was both intelligent and had incredible mental acuity. Taking a closer look at the premises, it turns out that some of his mosquitoes were already spread around the training area before the spar even began.

He simply relied on their relayed information to try and dodge the moment any movement from Hikari could be spotted. What his mozzies can see - he too, will behold.

"How did that happen?" One audience member murmured.

"I think Malaria pretended to be weak in the past." The Senju clansman speculated.

"You mean that Malaria never considered Dobito and Boruto a big deal?" Tenten's mother couldn't help but ask.

"Of course! Do you think Dobito and Boruto are worth mentioning when he can dodge the chakra-infused kunai thrown by a peak genin-level genius?" The passer-by student felt convinced.

"Monster! What a disgusting monster!" The Yamanaka girl cried out. Why would he do such a thing to Dobito when he's so strong?

"That's right. It's more terrible to be ignored and shamed than to be defeated." The Uchiha little beauty fumed in anger.

"What a savage! Both Uchiha Dobito and Akimichi Boruto have been physically and mentally destroyed by Malaria!" The consensus came out that Malaria truly is a human scum not worthy of breathing the same air as themselves.

--

"Malaria, it's indeed a surprise that you dodged my chakra-kunai, but you still got wounded. How many more could you possibly dodge?" said Hikari softly. "Surrender this battle already!"

The male students clamoured again after their Hyuuga Goddess' statement.

"Malaria, you'd better seize this opportunity while you're still standing!" the suspicious Hiashi-looking student shouted.

"That chakra-kunai is a disaster on the battlefield worth several million Ryo each. It's better to surrender now!" That passer-by student advised, hoping to get in Malaria's good books.

"Even though you looted Uchiha Dobito's ninja pouch, you can't unseal the Fūma Shuriken from his scrolls without any chakra for a chance to compete." Tenten's mother suggested for him to surrender aswell.

"Malaria, neither your weapons nor your status is even close to the Hyuuga Goddess' level. You are certainly the loser today." The most-certainly-Hiashi-looking student commented again.

"Malaria, just the wind caused by the chakra-kunai is enough to kill you even if you dodge. You would've been dead if Hikari-san aimed at your head just now." The Uchiha little beauty joined in the counselling.

"Give up already, damn scoundrel!" The Yamanaka girl fumed with a red face.

--

Holding his injured shoulder, Malaria ignored the cacophony of noise and focused his eyes on Hikari's shivering hand. The chakra required to keep the kunai sharpened mid-air was too much for her.

"The result of this battle is not unquestionable yet!" Malaria grinned and patted his chest. A swarm of mosquitoes flew out and started covering the surroundings.

"What an incredible amount!" Hikari warily used her Byakugan to find an opening.

The audience was shocked. How could Malaria keep such an amount of insects in his body? They didn't realize that his insect is the mundane mosquito – they don't feed on chakra, so long as he can eat meat and replenish his blood, he can keep an almost endless amount at the ready.

'Bzzz! Bzzz!'

The wind was howling with the buzz of mosquitoes in the training ground. Hikari observed carefully but couldn't determine Malaria's position in the veritable moving-wall of insects.

Suddenly, Hikari's second chakra-kunai dropped from her hand. Before she realized what happened and could pick it up, she found a fistful of mosquitoes lifting and flying away with it.

"What…!?" Hikari's face changed greatly. She had teamed up with Aburame clansmen before, and not once had she seen such superb control over their insects.

With Malaria hiding in the swarm, her odds of victory without a powerful weapon were little to none. If only she had taken the time to learn the Revolving Heaven technique.

"Shameless pervert!"

Hikari squealed all of a sudden and swept her leg out, kicking Malaria to the ground.

"Ouch, that hurt a lot!" Malaria rose to his feet with a smile and playfully danced the chakra-kunai around his fingers with deft sleight-of-hand. His mosquitoes quickly returned into his sleeves, disappearing from sight.

Hikari, on the other hand, couldn't be more embarrassed. Malaria had touched and even pinched her thigh, following that with cupping a feel of her backside before she could react. He truly is the black sheep of Konoha's Ninja Academy!

Malaria raised his eyebrow mischievously, "You scarred me with kunai earlier, and I touched your leg (and round bottoms). Let's call it even."

Everybody off the stage cursed at him.

"Malaria, you insulted my Hyuuga Goddess! I'll kill you!" the male students were enraged and almost turning berserk.

"Nobody can stop me! I'm going to remove this scoundrel for the people of Konoha!" The Senju clansman had turned rabid like a dog.

"How dare you touch my Goddess, Hyuuga Hikari!? Malaria, only one of us can get out of here alive today!" Hiashi was basically frothing at the mouth in anger.

Malaria glanced at the male students that were about to charge on stage to beat him up. He felt that this was the prime opportunity for some advertisement.

Finished thinking about that, Malaria took out a white 'chest binding cloth' out of his pocket and cackled at the male students around the stage. "Touching your Godess' leg is no big deal. Do you see this? It even has the original scent…"

The supposed 'chest cloth' was nothing but the tablecloth he used when he was developing the mosquito repellent. It had been sprinkled by his new invention and smelled quite delightful.

The whole training ground fell silent. Everyone focused their eyes on Hikari to see her reaction.

Hikari's eyes widened. In disbelief she felt her breasts and groped them a little, but her chest cloth was still there. Why did Malaria have a cloth that was almost identical to hers?

Other people did not know that Hikari's cloth was still there, while her expression suggested that the cloth in Malaria's hands was indeed hers.

'What is that scoundrel going to do now?' Hikari couldn't help but blush in exasperation.