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My teenage high school romance comedy can't be this perverted!

A oreigaru or snafu/DxD crossover featuring our infamous loner Hikigaya Hachiman who for unknown reasons was suddenly ripped from his reality and dropped into this foreign world filled with danger in every corner. And he needs to find a a way to deal with his new overly attached and attention-seeking 'friends'. I primarily focus on fanfiction.net, when a new chapter gets released or I have some important news, I'll most likely post it there first. I'll try to make things work here as well. Also don't forget to review and stuff, I want to know your thoughts on my story! And all chapters are between 2k - 4k words.

NimtheWriter · Anime & Comics
Not enough ratings
91 Chs

Chapter 85: Ane?

Beta read by Shigiya and Maglad

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Underworld, Bael Training Grounds-

"Heurgh!"

You know, I never actually noticed how clear and beautiful the sky in the Underworld was, despite it being a different color. Unnaturally breathtaking, even the stars shined brighter than those back on Earth. Sure, it being an artificial construction played a major part but still, I couldn't turn my gaze away from it. "I think he broke my neck."

Bam!

"Nya!"

Another body came flying and impacted the wall next to me, with the body of a cute white haired girl sliding downwards and falling on top of me.

"Oof! ...Welcome," I groaned, feeling her current emotions at this moment, for I was going through the same thing. "Nice weather we are having, right?"

Koneko could barely summon enough strength from her bruised body to turn around and huddle next to me, her tired face pressing against the side of my chest as she slowly started to close her eyes. "I am going to die, make sure to bring a lot of sweets at my funeral and put them in my coffin."

"Can't do that, cause I'll be the one going to the nether world first. I can't even feel my spine anymore, be sure to kick his eyes when you inevitably will become a powerhouse."

"Hachiman-senpai is built like a cockroach, no matter how much you get stomped you'll survive." Ouch, who was the one teaching her these nonsensical things!? Who am I kidding, this was probably my fault. Hopefully Kuroka wouldn't go all berserk on me for having turned her sister into a dry, sarcastic ball of cuteness.

"Don't say such things in front of Kuroka."

"I already did," she said, making me certain that this girl was indeed planning my own funeral as she continued to nuzzle my chest like an innocent kitten.

We both ended up watching the sky with a blank expression. Too tired and hurt to move, basking in each other's warmth in order to forget the cold reality where we were forced to fight a monster for nearly six hours straight without any breaks or time to recover. My vision was swimming, dark spots forming the edge coupled with the blurriness. I guess Koneko was going through the same experience as me, though I did appreciate rubbing her fluffy ears. Always a blessing whenever she felt comfortable enough to bring out more of her Nekomata side around me.

Step

Step

Our executioner has finally arrived.

A person approached us, the sound of his footsteps clear to my ears as I dreaded getting back up. "Leave me be, you Devil, I shall not play your silly games anymore for my cervical spine has been shattered by your gorilla punches." I had no idea why I talked like that, maybe it was the delirium getting to me.

"Ha! If that was the case then you'd be dead, forcing me to use an Evil Piece on you." Said the boy with the physique of an Olympian God, standing tall with a small scratch on his face. "You got better, I even got hit in the end."

Hit? Sure, more like grazing his skin and even that took a lot of effort by both Koneko and me. On top of being ridiculously strong, Sairaorg turned out to put anything Kiba showed when it came to speed, to shame. Combined that with enhanced reflexes, years of combat experience and mastery over internal life force itself brought forth s true monster.

Delete Field barely seemed to have an effect on him, he broke through my tendrils as if they were made of paper and he always managed to dodge any attack from my flames along with the rune attacks. In the end, the man purposefully came closer where I could reach him whenever I used Touki.

With Koneko keeping him occupied, I tried to go for a single strong attack that could disable him — given I couldn't use this power extensively like these two. It was stopped by Sairaorg grabbing Koneko's ankle and using her as an improvised bat to strike me.

Of course, I dismissed the attack as not suddenly injuring the girl and ended up with a painful headbutt. But I wasn't willing to go down so easily, so at the last second I used a single tendril covered in flames as a spear to jut out of the ground and lead to that cut on his face. Though that didn't stop me from getting sent flying soon followed by Koneko.

"Don't look so down, you certainly got better using Touki by now. Sure it takes you a few seconds to actually bring it out but it doesn't disappear or is nearly as inconsistent as before." He touched the scratch on his cheeks, "You have no idea how eager I am to see you at your strongest." The smile on his face scared me to the core.

"Ew, stay away from me you battle maniac."

"Hahaha!" Yeah, keep on laughing you brawns for brain, one day I promised to punch that face of his for all the pain I went through. "Alright get up, you're going back to Earth today aren't you? If I make you miss the journey then Rias will come for my neck."

I was very tempted to miss the train and go back tomorrow instead. Koneko had already fallen asleep so there was no way she would wake up anytime soon. Hurgh, this little bundle of cuteness that was purring into my chest made the pain worth it… to some extent.

"How about her?" I said while pointing at the white haired Nekoshou. "She performed far better with Touki in a matter of days."

"Well of course, given she's a Nekoshou, that kind of result should be expected. In fact, I would have been shocked if she did any worse today, they have an unfair advantage when it comes to the control of life force, Youjutsu, Senjutsu and so on. I'd say it's a matter of weeks or months at most for her to reach her full potential."

Well that was good to know, she didn't show or even show much on the outside, but both Kiba and Akeno noticed how the girl started to doubt her own capabilities. Given how stressed she was previously with the whole Kuroka situation made the girl want to push herself to the extreme.

"I see, then I guess that's good news for everyone." Trying to get up proved to be a bigger challenge than ever before. My muscles and bones ached with enough soreness to put me out of commission.

"Here, let me help you out." Seeing my situation, Sairaorg came over and gently picked up Koneko from the ground. Taking a deep breath, I pushed myself up with wobbly legs and a determined face. "There you go, told you that your rib was fine."

"Don't think just me getting up means none of my bones got fractured. I'm just enduring the pain for now until we get to the Rias' house where I can take a short nap and leave with the others." I still had time, four hours before leaving was more than sufficient for a shower — which I needed — and a few hours of sleep.

"Hah… I miss having you here, Asia." She used Twilight Healing on me many times in the past whenever I trained intensively. "I'm going to ask Serafall if she can bring me in touch with her." Given the Maou was a friend of Gabriel's, or an eternal rival as she liked to call herself, then maybe she had a way to contact them.

As we walked outside Sairaorg's training room, I couldn't help but ask about any recent news concerning his mother.

"Still sleeping, Kuroka stopped by a couple of times by now and used her Senjutsu on my mother. Even if she hasn't opened her eyes yet, color has returned to her face and she doesn't look as sickly as before. It's progress, something I never dreamed about witnessing after so long."

Kuroka kept her end of the deal, and agreed to attempt at helping Misla Bael wake up from her coma. She knew just as well as me how important this matter was tied to her freedom, the chances of the Bael clan leader attempting to dismiss her current status and label her as a criminal once again seemed very probable. Having experienced finally living a peaceful life with her sister made the former terrorist dread at the thought of losing her again.

"Your father huh… has he mentioned anything?" To say the relationship between son and father was rocky would be a major understatement. I doubted they even exchanged any words the entire time.

"..." He did not answer, making it clear what happened. The fake smile on his face failed to fool me. The father who hated his son and treated his wife harshly, how could Sairaorg ever genuinely smile while meeting that person every day while also continuing being shunned and scorned was a testament to his personality.

He sighed, "It is what it is, I've gotten over it long ago. He is just there to make sure Kuroka doesn't overstep her bounds, nothing else."

A lie, one used to keep me from worrying too much. The two of us could hardly be considered as friends, so I didn't have much of a right to meddle in his affairs to begin with. That point both of us understood and I respected him enough to not get me involved anymore than necessary.

Better to change the subject.

"So what happened to the captured God?" After taking down one of the Old Satan Faction's hideouts where Katerea operated — we successfully found and retrieved a chained Hephaestus from his capturers. Returning him back to Olympus with the Leviathan descendant being sent to the capital city of the Underworld, Lucifaad.

"The woman in question, at first Lucifer-sama and Ajuka-sama, was going to sentence her to a lifelong sentence frozen in the deepest depths of the Cocytus."

I cringed at that sentence. After all, I knew all about that place. Cocytus, a frozen lake in which were punished by those who betrayed people with whom they had a special bond of trust. One of the worst places one could ever end up getting imprisoned in and where time basically no longer mattered.

But something didn't add up…

"Why there?" I asked, earning a confused look from the man. "As far as I know, Katerea never was that close to any one of the current Maous to warrant getting imprisoned in a place like that. Let's say if it was Kokabiel instead, he I would understand given that Fallen Angel betrayed both his faction, brothers and sisters; Azazel in particular. But that woman has no such relationship with Serafall."

"Mmm," he nodded his head, seeming to agree with my inquiry. "I understand your confusion, even I asked myself why they first wanted to send her there. I guess the betrayal part comes from Katerea turning her back to the entirety of the Devil society just because she wanted to support a war that would have wiped us all out of existence."

"That abstract of a reason? I expected something along the lines of her having a sister or brother she tried to kill but failed and that person now working with the current regime."

"Hey, don't ask me. I was just as confused as you are. Besides, it's not like the effects of Cocytus won't work on her, they probably wanted for her to suffer at the end of the day and be locked up in a place with no ways of escaping." I had to agree with him on that, maybe I was just putting too much thought into it.

"You said 'wanted to', did they choose another punishment instead?"

He gave me a weird look and asked, "Before I answer that, can you tell if you had the chance, how would you have condemned Katerea Leviathan?"

That came out of nowhere, but still, I gave it some serious thought. The question was very tricky, given I didn't have any personal connection to the woman aside from knowing bits and pieces of her clan's history. Though he was surprised at the treatment Ophis got with her, it didn't change the reality that Katerea was responsible for the death of many innocents and Devils.

"What do you think, Vritra?" I asked the dragon, manifesting in my arm in the form of a gauntlet.

"Death, that's how it usually goes. Keeping your enemy alive just birthes the possibility of them escaping and coming back for revenge. Me personally, I have always eaten my enemies so that I am certain they will no longer pose any threat."

"Oi, I'm not going to eat Katerea!"

It dawned on me a second later how wrong my words sounded out loud, but it was too late as Sairaorg started laughing loudly.

"Hahahaha! I know that Katerea Leviathan is a beautiful woman, even I can't deny it, but I didn't think that you were that interested in her."

"S-Shut up. It was out of context!"

"Perverted Senpai." muttered out a still sleeping Nekoshou.

I felt a metaphorical jab in my soul from that comment. Sairaorg continued to laugh after that, not caring about hurting my feelings. I gave the man a stink eye before returning my attention to Vritra.

"Hah, a shame." The black dragon joked, at least I hoped so. "But no, that is not what I tried to entail. My meaning is as such, each person has a different way to handle each situation depending on them alone. The Maous for example must take into account the public's viewpoint and their allies', so it's understandable why they tried to make her suffer first instead of killing the woman immediately — even if the latter suits their personality far more. In the end, the only thing you should make sure is that the enemy will no longer be capable of coming back for revenge and it just happens that death is the easiest solution."

"Have to agree with him to some extent," said the Bael heir, finally controlling his laughter. "While I am not that big on killing my enemies without thinking like my father and grandfather, it is the quickest method to solve an issue once and for all."

Again, I couldn't really agree with them. Sure, I've killed plenty along my journey in this world. I was no shounen protagonist that would use talk-no-jutsu to change every enemy for the better, but if possible, I still preferred to be presented with different options. Cases like Kokabiel were rather unique as killing the man was the best option. But Kuroka on the other hand just showed how things unfolded differently whenever the talking option worked.

Regardless of her intentions, she presented herself as my enemy in the beginning. And if I had adopted a mentality of killing all those against me or anyone from the Khaos Brigade then Koneko would have hated me.

Already too big of a price to pay.

"Hah, I don't know. Killing her seems like the right call, but punishing her for all the destruction and killing she caused is valid I guess. Given from what I know, her kind of people tend to present themselves as overly prideful individuals. So if I had to choose, I'd damage that pride within millions of pieces and make her live through the process. Now how can I shatter that pride of hers? I have no idea."

"Well funnily enough, someone else got the same idea as you." Sairaorg said, catching my attention. "Lady Serafall was the one who pushed back the idea of sending her to Cocytus."

Now that was a shocker, I never expected Serafall of all people to intervene. In fact, it would have been more logical if she actually killed Katerea just because she was her primary enemy carrying the name of Leviathan. Though how was she going to destroy her pride?

"I see you're curious, and so am I."

"Huh?"

"By that, I mean that no one has any idea what Serafall plans to do with Katerea. She just barged into the room, broke her chains and dragged the Leviathan by the hair without saying a word to anyone."

"..."

I swear, that woman was just so unpredictable that it was actually frightening.

"Heh, our Maous are just that crazy."

"I guess that's one of the requirements to become a Maou then. You must be crazy in the head first." I gave him a sideway glance. "Fortunately, you already have that covered."

"Hahaha! You're right, I've been called crazy a couple of times by Kuisha." At that, we both laughed. "After the whole Katerea situation was solved, I got word from Ajuka that the client who requested him to help find and save Hephaestus was more than pleased with our actions and mentioned how they would pay a personal visit to all parties involved and thank them personally."

"... I would rather not have Zeus anywhere near my house or Kuoh Academy for that matter." The man was famous for getting horny for anything that moved and slept with countless women left and right. There was no way I felt comfortable having a guy like that anywhere near a school filled with beautiful girls. That was just asking for trouble.

Less said what his vindictive wife would do to them, the better.

"Good call, partner. Gods, unlike humans, stay true to their original nature for thousands of years without changing. It would be unwise to hold them to the same standard as you humans and expect for the old man to have changed for the better — because I doubt he has." See? Even Vritra agreed with my apprehension. "This applies to most Supernatural individuals with power beyond a certain threshold."

"Come on, the Greek gods aren't as troublesome as many portray them to be. They know how to stay professional and well behaved — unlike our friends in the Old Satan Faction."

We shared another laugh.

For being the strongest younger generation Devil, he sure was quite easy to talk to, nothing like the other more arrogant and narcissist noble Devils. Self absorbed in their own existence, spoiled rotten by their parents and power, the Riser of the past was a perfect example.

Swoosh!

A large violet teleportation spell formed around me, having already marked my room I could directly teleport between both areas without much effort. Sairaorg handed Koneko over me while he stood at the edge waving me goodbye.

"Be sure to continue practicing the training I showed you for Touki, work it like a muscle as often as you can while taking breaks in between of course. Oh, and say hi to Rias for me, that little spitfire seems to have forgotten about her cousin and didn't come over for a visit."

"I will," I watched as the world around me faded away with Sairaorg disappearing with the scene. Hard to imagine him and Rias were related given their vastly differing personalities and appearances. The complete opposite when it came down to hard work and discipline.

I asked him once if he was going to emulate Rias, Sona and Riser by joining Kuoh Academy as an exchange student or something. But he declined, stating that he didn't have much time or freedom for such things. Made me realize how much burdens rested on his shoulders, as both the strongest younger generation Devil and a discarded son of the current Bael clan head. He just couldn't slow down, Sairaorg couldn't afford to take a break.

It really put into perspective how much of a good life Rias and the others had.

{Break}

As the spell finished teleporting both of us to my room, my vision got blinded by a dark shadow that snatched Koneko right from my arm in a split second.

"Nya! Shirone! Onee-sama missed you!" To no one's surprise, it was none other than Kuroka rubbing her cheeks against the unconscious Nekoshou, making the latter frown in her sleep as if she was having a nightmare. "Even after training so intensely you still are so soft and cute, hehehehe — nya!?" I bonked her with a deadpan face.

"Oi, control yourself, cat. Or else I'm going to bring out the spray."

"Nya~ don't be so jealous of Koneko, I'll give you an equal amount of love!" She tried to lean forward with her lips all puckered up. "Oom!" Her face was quickly countered by my palm.

"Where are your clothes?" I asked, noticing how her already revealing and loose kimono was gone and now replaced by a tight shirt with a cute cartoon cat on the face that didn't fit her and even showed signs of tearing along with large baggy shorts that helped show off her beautiful, smooth legs.

Wait…

"Those shorts are mine… and that shirt belongs to Koneko!" I exclaimed, finally recognizing the pieces of clothing.

"Eh~ I was just getting so lonely and wanted to have both of your scents comfort me for the day!" She said it so nonchalantly as if it were a normal thing. "Also, when are you going to have kittens with me and Shirone? We need to quickly rebuild our clan and take over the world!"

"..."

Psh!

"Nya!?"

With a blank stare I sprayed a bottle of water on her face, making her jump back as she hissed at me. Heh, fear me, an Ultimate-class Devil subdued by mere water. This world was insane…

"Koneko is like my sister, I'm not going to sleep with her, you dolt."

"Ah! Give it time! I'm sure that you and Shirone will get together soon! And you didn't say anything about me, so that means we can have ba—"

"Please try to have some restraints, you horny cat…" a twisted smile emerged on my face as I put the bottle back in its hiding place. "Or else I'm going to have Koneko ignore you for a month."

"Eh, you can't do that, I'm her sister!"

"And I'm her brother." 'Figure', I left that part out.

"In law?"

"Drop it." I looked at the old Grandfather clock, and found that I still had a lot of time left for a bath and a small nap before returning to Kuoh. I already missed Aika and her perverted antics. "I forgot to ask, but how's the treatment with Misla Bael been going? Given I'm going back to Kuoh by the evening, it would be better if you stay behind for a few more days and look after her."

"No need," she said, earning herself a questioning gaze from me. Understanding my confusion, she continued to explain. "I have already done everything I could and even went beyond that. Misla Bael's illness is common amongst Devils but finding a cure has always been out of reach for a reason. But I have good news, her body has begun recovering and started to work properly with her Demonic powers starting to stabilize. Before she didn't even have an ounce of energy, now her body started generating it without my help today. This is a good sign, give it a few days or a week, I guarantee you there will be results nya!" Her chest puffed up with pride as she rubbed her nose, proud of her accomplishment.

I didn't have to tell her how important this matter was, if she said nothing more could be done then that should be the case. Still, this was good news and even Sairaorg was happy with it. "Good work, I'm sure things will turn out accordingly soon. Don't worry too much about the Bael for now and enjoy your freedom."

"Ara~ I think I'm very weak to your praises. I feel like my legs are going to turn into jelly, nya~!" She tried to lean in again, her two tails playfully wiggling around as they tried to wrap around me.

"Not gonna work," I pushed her back again, making the girl pout. "By the way, where are Sirzechs and Ajuka?" Those two hung out together often and Ajuka especially came over to the Gremory estate every other day to work on matters relating to the Devil world with Lucifer.

Kuroka shrugged, "Don't know, he and the others went to the study or somewhere else to celebrate something. I think they gathered for a drinking party… it sure did smell like a lot of alcohol back there."

"Mmm, I see, alright, I'll go for a bath then. And no, you can't come with me. Now go to sleep."

She stuck her tongue out playfully, jumping on the bed and cuddling her sister like a plush toy. If Koneko wasn't here then Kuroka would have asked me to join as well.

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I stepped into the changing room for the bath thinking that it was early enough for no one to be here and the other guys were all drinking on top of that or were out doing their own things before leaving. So I planned to make this small area my little paradise.

After getting ready, I opened the door and checked inside. Yeah, there was a single large onsen and an outdoor bath at the far back.

"Hah… now this is life." I said, releasing a moan while my body relaxed inside the hot and relaxing bath that was the size of an Olympic swimming pool. The insane amount of training absolutely shredded my muscles, worrying me about the idea of a muscle actually tearing if I wasn't careful. Even with the existence of healing magic and consumables with similar effects didn't alleviate that worry that much, it was still something that I didn't want to experience.

"I should have done this more often." In order to save time, I mostly took showers to quicken things up and return to deal with my daily matters. I usually took long baths at home where I felt more comfortable. But now I discovered that this wasn't the case and the baths here were just as enjoyable. "What a shame, I wish I could just relax more here."

"I can help you with that, Hachiman-sama."

"WAHHH!!!" My heart stopped, my widened eyes turned hasty to the size of the bath, where at the very end surrounded by steam the figure of a beautiful woman with her hair down slowly appeared. When I saw who it was, I started fearing for my life. "G-Grayfia…-san?"

'Honestly partner, you and your women problems. I'm going to sleep. Don't bother me, unless it's an emergency.' Vritra spoke up before receding into my mind, abandoning me when I needed his help the most, especially when THIS WAS AN EMERGENCY.

That damned serpent!

Damnit.

Damnit!

DAMNIT!

'WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE!?' I screamed inside my head, countless questions appearing without any answers. Was I really that tired that I couldn't notice her presence when entering the bath? I couldn't believe I made such a stupid mistake!

Now dread settled in at the thought of the disaster that would follow if word spread and reached Sirzechs' ears.

No, I had to act calm and deal with the matter in the best way possible! "A-A-Ah, s-sorry, I didn't know it was o-occupied, please excuse me." My voice cracked, getting too overwhelmed by the atmosphere I started to carefully walk out of the bath. As I reached for the door, my body froze, not out of fear or shock — but by an invisible force of dense demonic energy that seemed to entangle all over my limbs. "Eh!?"

It pulled me back, with a loud splash I was dragged inside the bath but this time much closer to Grayfia who sat comfortably naked less than a meter away from me.

"Stay,"

Eh? I was taken back by her unexpected words which sounded so unreal, very confused by the current situation which I never expected to happen even in my wildest dreams. "I don't mind."

Well I did!

"The men's open bath and the woman's open bath are actually connected, if you're wondering about being in the wrong area. We haven't had much of a chance to bond with each other, such a shame." Was she smiling? Her tone sounded more upbeat than the monotone voice that I was familiar with. "Then let's take this opportunity to truly get to know each other. Ah, I learned from Rias that in Japanese culture it's customary to clean the back of those you are close to. Given your relationship with Rias, I believe that makes us like family, don't you think so, Hachiman-sama?"

Oi, that is some twisted logic right there…

"It's more of a polite gesture between couples, bath workers and even family members. Not something that people do often nowadays and there is no need for that." I spoke politely, my eyes glued to the ceiling while my mind performed one equation after the other. "I wouldn't want to trouble you, please, forgive me for having disturbed your bath."

"Stay," said the silver haired Devil, with more authority that made me break out in a cold sweat. I felt the water shift, with Grayfia getting up from the bath displaying her entire body without hesitation.

I instantly closed my eyes while keeping a poker face. I flinched when she grabbed my arm, signaling me to get up. "I believe it to be an important step to mend our rocky first meeting. I know I've been cold to you on more than one occasion and I want to make up for my actions."

She was cold to everyone though… it wasn't like she targeted me specifically.

"N-Not really."

Nope, there is absolutely no way I was going to accept a back scrub, not even Rias gave me one and she was one stubborn piece of work.

She was the ultimate Queen, you know? There was no way I would misunderstand anything going on in between us like a naive hormonal teenager! Grayfia, a woman even Maou Sirzechs feared! No doubt that she held the capability to obliterate me soon as I showed any weird feelings — of which I had none!

'Stay calm, just politely say no and walk out.'

Yeah, that was a good plan.

{Break}

"Sit here."

"Y-yes ma'am."

I got dragged by her regardless of my struggling and reluctance!

"Ah, let me wash myself, I don't want to dirty the water." said Grayfia, moving to take a seat on one of the benches. The sight of her milky globes jiggling in front of me before she sat down.

"U-um, is there a reason that this place looks like a japanese bathhouse?" I asked, doing my best to not stare at a woman that Aika would classified, 'a bombshell of a MILF'.

I'm glad she isn't here right now, otherwise I would have to pin her down to keep her from molesting the said MILF.

…Wait.

"Hmm~" I felt my blood spike hear the sensual moaning that the white hair woman let out as she threw a cold bucket of water over her head, and once again gained my attention. "We redecorated it on Rias' request after the first month of watching anime in her younger days. Sirzech-sama and her parents easily complied, seeing nothing wrong with it."

That damn weeb! Learn to keep your hobbies in check!

Incomprehensible, why did a strict and professional Grayfia decided to stay and have a bath with me? There was definitely someone behind this! I refused to believe this being an unfortunate accident — or fortunate if it was any other boy — she was plotting something behind my back. I could feel it! Perhaps a trial? Like testing my resolve when it came to being loyal to Rias and Akeno? Or maybe there was something she wanted to say to me about my relationship with Rias?

There existed no limit to the possibilities she might bring up emerging in my mind as for why she decided to join me in the bath.

"…U-Umm, is this REALLY okay?" I ask her timidly, holding a towel over my private parts and avoiding looking at forbidden areas on her body that I shouldn't… shit! There was a mirror here! I ended up catching a glimpse of her bountiful breasts that were definitely on par with Akeno's or even superior, making my heart race with fear and arousal. I just couldn't stop stuttering for the life of me. Even facing a Cadre wasn't nearly as stressful.

'Sirzechs will slaughter me for sure.' I wanted to cry but I shouldn't show any kind of weakness right now.

"What is?" She asked me while washing her body, making me swallow the lump in my throat.

"The others will be r-returning to Kuoh soon, so it would be better for me to leave." I tried to walk away immediately, but Grayfia-san took my hand once again and urged me to sit beside her!

"Hold on. You haven't washed yourself yet, have you? You just jumped inside the bath the moment you came in."

That was because I was too tired and lazy for that, but something told me that I shouldn't have said that.

"Y-Yes, I haven't. But I'm basically already cleaned, so it will be rude to stay here any longer. I can't disturb a lady's private moment."

There's no way I could stay here any longer — this was too much for me!

Yet her grip was as strong as the freaking Bulk! I was forced to sit beside her in the end! What kind of shitty B rated ecchi anime scenario was this? Curse this world and its lack of shame…

I realized by now that not only did she not mind my presence, the woman didn't even care about hiding her body with a towel! Just like one would expect from a Devil with bullship physiology at keeping their youthful appearances, there were no imperfections or wrinkles.

In fact, none of the girls I met so far had any imperfections. Not a single one, not even my own mother!

Seriously, were all of the women in this world meant to be perfect beauties!?

Her breasts were big, that was an obvious truth, both her nipples and areola could be seen from the mirror in front of me as they glisten from the water. I could easily see why Sirzechs fell in love with her, whether it be her personality or outward appearance, she was definitely amongst the best. Her plump thighs had the right size, curvaceous hips which all gave her the image of a world renowned model.

I slapped myself from getting distracted. 'Get a hold of yourself, you idiot. It makes you look like a massive pervert for checking out her body in a situation like this! Even if it doesn't look like it, she is a mother, a wife and much older than any human. It's perfectly logical for her to see me as a little kid thus not minding my nude presence.' When I thought about that, everything started to make sense.

Yes, when you eliminated the impossible, whatever remained, however improbable, must have been the truth!

"I will wash your back for you, Hachiman-sama."

Saying that, Grayfia-san starts to wash my back without even giving me any time to properly respond.

The wet towel clung against my skin while I focused on the sound of my beating heart and my erratic hormones. "Fufufu~ You can open your eyes, Hachiman-sama, no need to be so polite." Gritting my teeth, I reluctantly followed her words and witnessed Grayfia's massive breasts bounce and sway as she washed my back from the reflection of the mirror without a care in the world!

"Your back is so big and solid, though there are an unusual amount of bruises. Let me soothe them."

Wasn't this the kind of first line the heroine would mention in an eroge to the man she loved? No! I was just thinking too deeply about this small matter. I had to keep in mind that I was being seen as nothing more than a little kid by an older woman.

A very beautiful older woman.

"T-Thank you, a-as for the bruises, those are just from training with Sairaorg. They'll heal by tomorrow." I replied back at her praise, she smiled as if she found my reaction funny.

'She sees me as a kid… Just a kid… Nothing more than a kid…'

"Ufufu, why are you acting so formal? I just said my honest feelings, you know? Like I thought, even if you are a high school student, you are still a man. You have a very muscular back. No, it might be rude for me to say this to someone who has defeated many strong foes for the Underworld." I felt a powerful tingle up my spine as I could practically feel her soft hands gliding over my back in a gentle manner.

'Oh dear God, it's Kalawarner all over again!'

"Barely defeated some of them and I got lucky in many cases. Still, I'm very grateful for having you to praise me." I bowed my head slightly.

"Not a fan of praise, that's no good. It's good to be humble but learn to accept such words from time to time, okay?" She said while I nodded.

Grayfia continued to wash my back gently with the towel while we were having a discussion like that. It helped me a lot to loosen up a bit and calm down from the events I was in right now.

"You know, aside from Sirzechs, no one has seen me fully naked before."

I was going to die.

"I didn't see a-anything, rest assured that this incident will be wiped from my memories for good. In fact, my training routing is brutal enough to give me regular cases of amnesia and short term memory loss." I spoke quickly, seriously considering teleporting out of this room.

"Pft-haha!" To my surprise, she laughed rather loudly after hearing those words.

"—!"

I felt the Grim Reaper's cold, dead hands slowly wrap around my neck as two soft pairs of breasts pushed against my back. I could feel everything, even how they slowly moved up and down as if washing me. Grayfia's hands had also moved to my chest and stomach, slowly rubbing them in a lazy manner. "Are you sure you haven't seen anything? I don't mind even if you did, I won't hurt you. In fact, I would encourage it."

You wouldn't, but your husband was going to annihilate my very existence if I did.

"..."

'Don't tell me the daughter-in-law and mother are actually cut from the same cloth?' I was getting flashbacks of my interaction with Venelana at the beach again. Remembering how she didn't mind me rubbing lotion all over her body. Fortunately, she stopped before my heart could explode and stepped away.

"Yes, your back is clean with this."

"Thank you very much." Nice! Now I could leave, and forget that this ever happened.

I was so lucky that I wasn't decapitated or crushed just for accidentally seeing her naked and intruding on her bath time. 'This is so nerve-wracking, not even dying got me this on edge!'

But Grayfia did the unexpected, she turned around, and started moving her hair out of the way to show her bare back. "Now, will you return the favor and help me wash my back."

Woman! Call your husband to do that!

"I would rather not, it's too inappropriate and bold in my opinion to lay my hands on another woman." Also, I was too terrified to do it. Maou's wife! I couldn't wash the back of the First lady of the Underworld!

"You won't?" Why did she sound sad? Stop making it so hard for me! "Please?"

"Use that telekinesis power you used to pull me out of the bath on the sponge and wash your own back."

"It's too much of a hassle." Aren't you the workaholic head maid? How was washing your back a hassle? "It's just for a bit, besides, I know you're not that kind of person to do anything that you shouldn't, so I'm not worried."

Not that she even needed to worry if I was that kind of person. This woman could destroy the whole place up if she wanted to.

In the end, I sighed, "If you moan or do anything weird, I'm leaving."

"Ufufu, you sure are a strange person. You finally seem more comfortable to speak with me normally I see."

For an ice queen, this person's smile sure was insanely cute. It made me wonder what the heck is up with her tonight.

While less timid than before, I calmly started to wash her back like she did to me. I made sure not to go too low or apply too much force in case she has sensitive skin.

"Did you have fun?" she asked after a minute of silence.

"Pardon?"

"Your stay in the Underworld, was it memorable? Given you're going back to Kuoh, I want to know if you enjoy your stay here enough to come back soon, hopefully."

I took some time to think before giving her my answer. "I must admit, there were some rough spots here and there. With the case of Kuroka, my initial disagreement of how Venelana-san treated Rias and then the small mission with Sairaorg to capture Katerea and rescue of Hephaestus. But aside from that, I had fun honestly. The beach was amazing, I got to know new people and even make a genuine friend, or soon to be friend I guess."

"I see, that's good to know. I'm glad, Hachiman. How are things between you and Rias?"

"Me and the wee… I mean Rias, made our relationship official a while ago. Akeno is happy about it and so are the others. Nothing to complain honestly."

"Yes, I have heard. Did you know, you are also famous in the Underworld for being the "Lover of the Next Heiress of the House of Gremory and the Priestess of Thunder? Some call you the harem dragon king."

I bet that was Issei spreading that title. 'I'm going to sick Koneko after him if I find out that it was him.'

"Meh, not much I can do about it. It is what it is and I've learned to accept it. So, the relation between me and Rias — with your sister-in-law — do you approve?"

"Are you asking it with me because I'm her sister-in-law? Or is it because I'm a maid from the House of Gremory?"

"Both." I shrugged. "And also because it is easy to tell that you care about Rias just as much as her mother and father do. I'm still very much in love with Akeno, but saying that I also love Rias the same way… would you find my words ridiculous? Does that make me less of an ideal partner in your eyes for not staying faithful to only her?"

Grayfia became quiet for a bit after hearing my straight answer and question. This silence made me think of many possible outcomes which some of them were bad.

After a while, she said, "Yes, even if it's perfectly normal in Devil society to have multiple partners and loving them equally. But I will only personally approve it if you fulfill a certain condition."

That made me worried.

"Condition? I'll try my best, so let me hear it." I would fight literally any enemies at this point for those two. It sounded cheesy as hell but those were my genuine feelings.

Grayfia looked at me and showed her smile. "From now on, call me "Ane or Elder sister, whichever fits your taste at private times. That's the condition. Like our little secret way of addressing each other with no one else knowing."

"Hm?" That… wasn't as bad as I expected it to be. I never thought she would come up with that, but each their own I suppose. "Sure, I don't see any issues with that… big sister."

I finished washing her back and washed it away with hot water.

"Thank you for washing my back, Hachi." Grayfia-san says her gratitude, her back still turned to me.

"Don't mention it… Seriously. If your husband ever found out, you might no longer have any little brother."

Now, what should I do from here? It's definitely time for me to leave, that's for sure.

"Where do you think you're going?" She said, stopping me in my tracks as I was about to leave. When I looked at her, I felt a familiar chill up my spine when I saw her gentle smile that was anything but innocent. "Come and join your big sister in the bath."

"What? Wom— big sister, your little brother here has already taken a ba—oof!" I felt her use telekinesis magic on me once again, dragging me with her to the pool.

"It's not good to talk back to your big sister, let's get in. After all, our conversation was quite pleasant and I want to experience more of it."

Damn her and my luck. I should have taken a bath later tonight, even if I smelled like shit until then.

I was pulled into the onsen, with Grayfia following soon after, "It's a good onsen. Japanese onsen are the best if I am honest." Grayfia mentioned off handley that while releasing a breath of air that almost sounded like a sensual moan.

"Can't argue with you on that, though I much prefer showers at times. I grew to appreciate them more recently with how much of a time saver they are." I no longer stuttered, having somewhat grown used to her presence and this delicate situation.

"Thank you for looking after Millicas the other day. He still talks about the stories you told him about your adventures to me when I tuck him into bed."

"Heh, no problem, I also had fun talking to him. You raised a great son, he's very polite and smart for a boy his age. I can see him becoming a great person in the future." I said honestly, remembering my time with the youngest redhead. He really was very mature and attentive for a kid his age. It made me inadvertently shake my head whenever I compared him to Rias when she was young and even her current self before releasing a deep sigh — much to the outrage of the redhead.

"Yes, my child was also very happy to have met you. Since he was born in a special environment, he doesn't have as much freedom as other children, or friends."

The son of Sirzechs Lucifer and Grayfia. The adults all gaze at him with high regards only due to being the son of a Maou. What awaited Millicas in the future was hard to imagine or predict. I want him to grow strong so that he wouldn't get crushed by the pressure.

"As long as he keeps his head high and doesn't keep on working hard, he'll manage. And you know, he can always rely on good ol' uncle Hachiman for any help." My big brother's instinct to protect the kid grew leaps and bounds these last few days. "I'll always be there to educate him properly when he'll eventually come to Earth, so that he doesn't end up becoming an asshole like me in the end."

When I said that, Grayfia suddenly approached me out of nowhere. Her body was close to me, and reached for my cheek!

"Both my husband and son seem to enjoy your presence. So don't you think no one will complain if I spent some time enjoying you, Hachi?"

My nose twitched, 'Is she… drunk?'

She rested her head on my shoulders, making me scream inside. "Like a brother, huh…"

"Grayf— big sister, do you have any relatives?" I had some knowledge on the Lucifuge and the role they played during the war. Made me wonder if she misses them or had anyone else who joined her inside Sirzechs' faction.

Her face turned dark slightly when I called her big sister.

"They either died or their current status is unknown. After all, I'm basically the only one left from the House of Lucifuge from the war between the Old Satan Faction and the new one."

"I'm sorry, it seems like I asked you something improper." I said calmly, trying to empathize with her.

"There's no reason for you to worry about it. It's something which ended a very long time ago. And I have a new family after all, Sirzechs, Millicas, Rias, Otou-sama, Okaa-sama, Serafall and…"

Grayfia continued to stroke my cheek. She was stroking it in the similar manner as Rias now that I noticed it. Making me wonder if she used to do this with the redhead often when she was younger. Akeno did it similarly to Shuri.

"And I have a little brother. I'm really happy right now, you know?"

I scoffed, "This would have been a touching moment if you weren't drunk and naked. I'd be less awkward and more open if we were somewhere else instead of a bath. Now please don't move much, or better yet, give me some space." This body was going to disobey soon and bring forth a reaction I really REALLY didn't want her to witness.

She chuckled, "I don't mind. Since you are a young man, don't you think that it would be an obvious reaction?"

"Aren't you supposed to be my big sister now? This would be very inappropriate." I muttered out in frustration.

"I don't think so, siblings bath together all the time. Sirzechs used to do it a lot with Rias when she was little." Key word being little, I was anything but little.

"Now you're just teasing me for no reason. Don't get too sucked into your new role. I should be careful around you next time you're drunk, hopefully by some miracle you'll forget about this."

Click!

"—!" Someone was coming inside the bath! "Shit! Someone is here!"

'Please don't let it be Lucifer! Please don't let it be Lucifer! Please don't let it be Lucifer!'

But to my surprise, it was another form of horror I experienced as the one who came inside was not one but two people! Dark raven hair, Chocolate brown hair and curvaceous bodies that were equal to Grayfia.

"Ara Ara, what a surprise, Hachi-kun is having a sweet moment with Grayfia!" Venelana said with a hint of surprise on her face. Followed by Shuri having a similar reaction to her friend.

"Ah, you're finally back, Hachi-kun. Akeno was getting worried you were pushing yourself too much. Fufufu~ How naughty of you to relieve your stress with Grayfia-san~."

My soul was halfway out of my body by now from either shock or relief that it wasn't the Lucifer.

This was still not any better.

"I-I-I can explain…" unable to find any excuse, I hastily got up, much to the dismay of the maid and tried to rush out of the bathroom. No! I should teleport away instead! "It's a misunderstanding! Bye."

Unfortunately for me, I felt delicate hands grab my shoulder and keep me in place just like Grayfia had done.

"Oh, you can't just leave so early after we just came. Join us for a chat, Hachi-kun~"

"Yes, Venelana is right, it's been a while since we've last bathed together. You were such a cute little kid before, now you have grown up to be a handsome man! Let's catch up like good old times."

No, the real hell wasn't Sairaorg's training, or Sirzechs finding out,but rather this moment right now which surpassed any challenge I ever faced in my life. Getting stabbed by Gae Bolga be damned!

{Break}

(Kuroka PoV)

"Hm?" The Nekoshou's ears twitched as she heard the doors to the room open and close. Walking inside a pale, zombie-like Hachiman limping across the floor smelling heavily of different shampoos and soaps.

…And something sweet that smelled familiar but she couldn't put her finger on thanks to all of the bathing products.

She looked at the time and grew confused, 'He spent two hours in the bath?'

Who would have thought he liked it that much.

"How was your bath?" She asked, stretching her body to pop out the kinks, showing a large portion of her body to anyone that would see.

Hachiman shivered after finishing that statement, before falling face first on the sofa.

"I don't want to talk about it."

That night, as the train was leaving for Kuoh, both Rias' group and Sona's grew curious why the boy looked this tired and depleted. Kalawarna took pictures of his sleepy face while Raynare laughed evilly — holding a permanent marker close to Hachiman's face.

At the station, Grayfia stayed behind while waving the others goodbye, "Take care of everyone, Hachi. Your big sister is counting on you. And hopefully, we'll see each other soon."

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The next 5 chapters of Snafu, and my other Fate fics (Fate Coiling Sword with 3 chapters, A Fake Familiar Reborn with 3 chapters, Steel Eyed Faker soon to be 3 chapters, Hound having 1 and To love a sword having 4 chapters) are already available on my P@treon. With 4 more Broly chapters at /NimtheWriter. Also, I post commissioned arts on each story, already posted a few on an Archer's Promise, Broly and Snafu.