Chapter 24

Mistakes and confessions

With uni around the corner Hope had returned home Scar had told her that he would drop both her and Josh of at the university which Josh was not pleased with at all.

He knew Scar had something to do with her smiling a lot and he was right when he had kissed her deeply in front of him he felt so knotted up with jealousy. It was bad enough that he had to watch his best friend all over her, now him.

He had to put a stop to this somehow. He knew he'd brainwashed her into this relationship so soon after she and Caleb had called it a day, and with her vulnerable state he'd taken the opportunity to pounce and make sure he caught her in the net.

He'd returned a few days later to pick them up for the long drive to Oxford. None of them spoke just listened to music in the drowning silence. He was glad when they finally reached the university and got the keys for their dorms next year they would find a place to stay close to the university, once they were unpacked. Scar kissed her passionately before saying goodbye to them both.

They were both sharing a dorm.

Later that day they had introduction lectures and were invited to the welcome party that Friday night. Hope was going to decline but he had answered for them both telling his new friends that they would be there. She wasn't to happy about it and had told him so, he just shrugged it off saying that she needed to live a little and make new friends, she had done just that the following day and they were all going to this welcome party. They'd all gone and had fun.

The next six months had flown by next year she would do her internship at the camp. Her and Josh had both been invited to another party, one she wasn't looking forward to.

They were both panning to get a flat together before they went into their second year, Hope wasn't the partying type, but Josh had begged her to go just like her friends had. She hadn't seen Scar since new year. They were still going strong, but were things about to come crashing down?

Josh looked at Hope he'd tried so many times to get close to her, but either Caleb or fucking Scar was there. They'd gone to uni together though Caleb was not keen on the idea cause of their past even though he hadn't bullied her since she'd returned from summer camp. It had been four years in planning now. Scar had returned to his barracks so he could finally get her right where he wanted her.

They'd gone to the party togehter he'd had a few girlfriends to try and forget about her, but he couldn't seem to get her out of his head.

They'd had way to many drinks. He'd asked her to dance, but she was unsure, so he pulled her onto the dance floor. He held her to him his arms around her waist as they danced. He leaned down to her breathing in her neck. "You look hot tonight Hope."

"Don't Josh."

"Don't what?"

"Pretend you actually care and you actually mean what you say, we both know you hate me. You only pretend to like me when everyone else is around."

"No I don't Hope. I'm sorry for what I did to you. I'm not sure if you'll ever forgive me, but I'm really sorry. I'd like us to start again."

"I don't know Josh."

"Hey Josh, Hope the guys are going up stairs want to join?"

"Sure."

"Hope?"

"I don't know."

"Come on it'll be fun."

"Okay." She sighed.

He slipped his arms from around her taking her hand in his, following Christian throguh the crowd up stairs to where everyone was sitting. He pulled her down. "Right, first were going to play a game when the bottle lands on you you have to kiss the person next to you boy or girl, then truth or dare if you chose not to go through with either you have to take a shot then 30 minutes in the dark are we all ready?"

Everyone nodded.

The bottle went around a few times landing on different people before it landed on Hope she looked at Josh and he smiled. "I..I"

He pulled her close pressing his lips on hers kissing her slipping his tongue in kissing her passionately, whistles flew across the room as he continued to kiss her. "Times up Josh lets get back to the game."

He pulled away from her and smiled. The game continued. Hope had to play toncil tennis to with Christian and Joshua with Kristy. They went onto play truth or dare most of them pissed not wanting to choose either. Then 30 mins in the dark.

Hope was not pleased when hers and Josh's names were pulled out of the bag she saw the glint in his eyes, would this be an opportunity to start the beatings again? god she hoped not. He'd evaded them for so long, she hoped the training would kick in.

He held his hand out. "Come on Hope. I have the perfect place."

She swallowed hard taking his hand he pulled her up leading her away with Wolfe whisltes. He lead her into the large closet. Closing the door pulling her down into the floor. "Alone at last."

She sat nervously as he got closer. "You have no idea how long I've waited to do this."

Oh shit he was going to beat me and leave me for dead. He got closer, his breath fanning on her face.

"Please Josh do…"

"Relax Hope and go with the flow." He said brushing his lips across hers then down her neck, fuck what was he doing? She thought, panicking.

"Relax you'll enjoy it. I promise you."

"What are you doing Josh?"

"Making you realise that I want you. I don't want to hurt you anymore Hope. I haven't wanted to hurt you since you returned from that camp your brother sent you to. I want you Hope, now relax." He said, pressing his lips on hers kissing her passionately.

She struggled loosing as he lay her down. 'I won't ever hurt you again I promise." He said pushing into her.

She screamed and he placed his hand over her mouth pulling her legs around him kissing her neck pushing deeper into her, thrusting harder and harder.

Her tears spilling from her eyes she never wanted to come to this fucking party in the first place and he'd twisted her arm to.

He knew her and Scar were together and he'd trusted her not to go with anyone else and she'd done just that by agreeing to involve herself in those stupid games instead of leaving the room. Now this.

He thrusted deeper and harder. 'I love you Hope.' He said as he came inside her. She felt nothing, she felt numb.

The banging on the door alerted them. 'What's the fuck you doing in there you two? Your thirty minutes are up.' He pulled away and zipped up before wiping her tears away. "We're coming."

He took her hand pulling her up to her feet. Opening the door. "What the fuck were you doing? No ones lasted the full thirty minutes even when they're fucking."

"Wouldn't you like you know." He winked.

She felt nauseous. "You okay Hope?"

"Yeah I think I'm going to head back to the dorm. I'm not feeling too great."

"I'll walk you."

"No!" She snapped.

He looked surprised at her.

"I'll be fine you stay here." She said, jogging away pushing her way through the crowd. Tears flying off her face.

"Hope."

"Fuck off Josh and leave me the fuck alone!"

"Hope."

"You planned this didn't you? You knew Scar couldn't do anything while he was away and you were here with me, god you make me sick. I should never have agreed to come to this stupid party on the first place."

"Please Hope."

"Leave me alone!" She said, running.

~

Hope slowly opened her eyes she'd cried all night this was such a fucking mess. His grip tightened around her waist. She turned her head, looking at the sleeping body next to her. What the fuck was he doing there? She'd told him to fuck off and leave her the fuck alone.

"Joshua."

"Morning."

'"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"What do you think?"

"I don't know you tell me. I told you to leave me alone, how the fuck you get into my room?"

"I picked the lock."

"Why?"

"Cause I can. And I wanted to be with you."

"Don't, just don't.'"

"I love you Hope."

"No you don't Josh you hate me."

"I already told you I don't hate you. I'm in love with you Hope. I hate seeing you with other guys, especially Caleb and that fucking Scar guy."

"You only hate seeing me with them cause you can no longer bully me whilst they are around."

"That's not true Hope. I love you, why don't you believe me?"

"Maybe cause you told me you hated me."

"You did too, but that's in the past. Please Hope I just want you to love me like I love you."

"I'm sorry I can't."

"Please Hope I'll do anything."

"Leave me alone."

"Anything but that. Don't push me away."

"Please go Josh, you've done enough already."

"I'm not going anywhere Hope, not without you."

"Please leave."

'"We're meant to be together Hope."

"No we're not!"

He pulled himself up looking at her. "We do this Hope or I'll tell lover boy you came onto me and you initiated sex with me."

Tears slipped out of her eyes. "You wouldn't."

"Watch me."

"Please Josh I have my future to think about."

"You weren't thinking about him or it last night, so I suggest you go along with whatever I have to say for the next three years."

"I hate you.'"

"And I love you." He said, pressing his lips on hers kissing her.