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My heart wrenching diary

Song Chengdong started writing on the first day he was in the hospital when he contracted leukemia at the age of 16. The diary records the ups and downs in his heart that he has never mentioned to anyone. The sadness of treating the disease, falling in love at first sight when meeting Michelle Chen for the first time, taking on different and similar jobs to maintain Michelle's happy life, his inner feelings, his brotherly love for his best friend, Gu Jiale, finding a publishing house for Michelle to achieve her goals Write down your wishes in your diary one by one. On the night of Michelle and Jiale's wedding, Chengdong couldn't stand the sorrow and committed suicide in his apartment. He took two morphine injections, swallowed sleeping pills and cut the pulse on his left hand, then lay on the bed. Fortunately, Scott immediately informed Jiale that Chengdong did not return to the hotel. He called Brother Bao and found out that Chengdong had returned to the apartment. Afterwards, Jia Le and Michelle rushed to the apartment, but it was too late. Chengdong took too much morphine, which caused bleeding from all seven holes. He died in a very painful way, but luckily he had time to see them one last time. At Chengdong's funeral, Song and his wife attended, and Song Ci'en handed over a diary to Michelle. Ci En also learned from Michelle that she was not divorcing Chengdong because she registered a false name on the divorce document. She didn't change her name at all. Her wedding to Jiale was also just a ceremony, allowing Chengdong to witness her lifelong happiness in the next life. Doing this also fulfills Chengdong's wish. After Chengdong died, Michelle went to Japan alone to relax and work. I read through Chengdong’s days every day, as if the memories are coming to my mind one by one.

Michelle_Chan0220 · Others
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8 Chs

chapter 1 - I am very tired

November 1, 2010. Shanghai.

In Xujiahui Catholic Church, Shanghai.

9 a.m.

Scott helped Chengdong sit in the first few rows. Chengdong suffered from a poisonous attack and his body kept shaking...

"Chengdong, are you really okay?! You...you even coughed up blood. Do Jiale and Michelle know that you were poisoned, and that is Michelle's mother doings?" Scott asked anxiously.

"They... they don't know. I... I heard everything at the hospital where they were on duty. I want to go to the toilet. It's okay, I'll go by myself." Chengdong replied softly.

As Chengdong walked, he was thinking about what happened last month.

October 5, 2010.

The day Michelle and Jiale returned to Shanghai.

Chengdong endured the injuries on his feet and lower body, and walked to michelle office with crutches to find her.

Shanghai First People's Hospital.

Outside of Michelle office.

Chengdong walked outside Michelle's office and overheard her and Jiale chatting...

"Michelle, does Chengdong know about our marriage?" Jia Le asked.

"I didn't tell him. I didn't want him to know. After all, we are just friends." Michelle replied.

"Friend?! But didn't you get married in Kobe two years ago?! Chengdong has been announcing to the outside world that you are his fiancée." Jia Le asked in surprise.

"Originally, I really wanted to marry him. But after I came back to Shanghai, I found that he had lied to me a lot. He...he was fundamentally incompetent! And he also had cancer! He is crazy! Love someone till even risking his life! When i were with him for the first half year, he was allergic to chili peppers, and he ate them quietly just to please me!" Michelle said angrily.

Chengdong pushed the door open hard, but he fell to the ground, hurting his stomach and lower body, which had just been operated on, and unable to get up...

"You...have you said enough? Why!? Why do you treat me like this?!" Chengdong shouted and cried.

At this time, many people came and looked.

Jiale helped Chengdong up, but Chengdong pushed them away...

"You...you. Don't use your fake kindness! One is my best friend, and the other is the woman I love the most! Why!? Why did you lie to me!! I'm a fool! Idiot! I...I believe you ! I don't believe my adoptive parents, and I don't believe what Dr. Scott said! They all told me to give up this relationship, saying... that I would be very sad! Yes! Yes! I am the stupidest in the world! Thinking that I can gain the appreciation of you by giving everything to you in my life!" Chengdong got up anxious and walked away crying.

November 1, 2010. Shanghai.

Outside the church.

Huijuan and her men were waiting for Chengdong outside the church...

"You still keep your word. You want two bottles of poison. Do you really want to die? Is it worth it for my daughter?" Huijuan asked.

Chengdong took the two bottles of poison from Huijuan.

"Ha, anyway... my life is a joke. I'm very tired. I don't want to live anymore. Doctor Scott also said that I only have one month left to live. Thank you, Aunt Chen, for giving me a ride." Chengdong trying hard to reply with his weak voice.

"You've finished witnessing the wedding, it's time to go. Don't hinder the couple's love. You can't stand it." Huijuan laughed.

Scott saw them in the distance and called Chengdong.

Chengdong immediately stuffed the two bottles into his pocket.

"If you want to die quickly, just drink those two bottles of poison. I guarantee you will be dead in less than two hours." Huijuan said softly.

Huijuan and her men walked away. Scott helped Chengdong...

"Chengdong, what is that vicious woman doing to you again?! Didn't you promise her not to pester Michelle?!" Scott asked anxiously.

"It's okay, we just chatted for a while. Let's leave the church. I'm tired and want to go back to the apartment." Chengdong replied.

"Okay then." Scott said.

Scott drove to Chengdong's apartment.

Xujiahui Times Luxury Apartment-Chengdong's Home.

In Chengdong's room.

Chengdong took out his diary and wrote...

November 1, 2010. Rainy day.

The darkest day (it seems like I am the only one left in the world).

It turns out...it turns out that I have been a joke since I was a child.

I have fallen in love with Michelle since I was ten years old. I lost my memory between the ages of ten and sixteen. But in the end I fell in love with her unconsciously.

I have done a lot of stupid things for her, now that I have done them all! Hahaha... (laughing until I cry)

For her:

-Eating Malatang hot pot (allergic to chili pepper)

-Leave the entertainment industry

- Being used to help her become a DJ in the hospital (fired by the company)

- Go to jail for two years for her

-Running up and down thirty floors

But...but why! ? After doing so much, it turns out...she just thinks of me as a "normal friend!" And...I have been stupidly in love with her for ten years! I deserve to be stupid! I deserve it to never listen to other people's lessons! Scott advised me, my parents advised me! I ignored them and even scolded them!

Retribution! I deserve it! The cancer was relapsed, the blood clot in the brain has turned into a malignant tumor, and my leukemia came back and affect the lymph nodes. I looked like walking corpse, but I stubbornly continued my love for Michelle.

I'm tired! I'm very tired. I have sacrificed so much and even nearly lost my life, but in exchange for this, and she said, "It's your own fault and you suffer for it"! Hahaha! But yet she loves is my best friend , Doctor Gu, Gu Jiale!

Chengdong.

Chengdong closed the diary. He wrote a letter...

Dad, Mom, Dr. Scott, I'm leaving. This is how I choose to leave this world. Use the most painful way to die, injecting poison into yourself.

Very...very funny! I lived in such pain all my life, and finally died in such a painful way. My life is so mean!

Mom, Dad. I remembered everything before I was ten years old. It turned out that Michelle's mother and father were the murderers of my biological parents. Haha! How unfilial I am! Instead of avenging them,I fell in love with their daughter! I even ask the murderer to give me poison to commit suicide. What a joke!

I'm sorry to everyone. All of you have done so much for me. All of you kept trying to persuade me to give up on this relationship, but I still refused to let go and stubbornly stayed stuck in it. Dr. Scott, you are right, I should not have come to Shanghai in the first place. But I still insisted on going my own way. Now I regret it, but it is too late.

My life is wasted on a woman who doesn't love me at all. For her, I worked hard to please her. No matter what, my career was ruined.

Mom, at my funeral, if Michelle and Jiale come to visit, please give them my diary. Thanks. Don't ever show them this letter. I don't want them to feel guilty after reading it.

In fact, they don't need to feel guilty at all. While I was in the hospital being treated for leukemia, I overheard that Jia Le had met Michelle much earlier than me. Although I am not inferior to Jia Le in appearance, but my body alone cannot compare to anyone else.

I have advised myself countless times to give up on Michelle. But I couldn't do it even once. I went to jail for her.

Goodbye everyone. Dr. Scott, you are my best friend and doctor. Mom and Dad, although you two are not my biological parents, you are the best in the world. thank you all!

The last words of Song Chengdong.

Chengdong folded the letter and put it into the envelope. He placed the diary next to the envelope. He went to the shower room to take a shower, and his headache relapsed.

He kept coughing and coughing up blood clots.

After taking a shower, he put on a suit, combed his hair, and took a selfie with his cell phone.

In a daze, he sent the photos to Michelle, his parents and Scott.

"Please use this photo as a posthumous photo for my funeral. Thank you." Chengdong wrote.

Michelle, who was resting in the hotel, received the text message. She saw the text message and rushed to Chengdong's apartment before she even changed into her wedding dress.

Chengdong prepared the syringes and penknives in the room. He kept thinking about what Scott said to him a month ago.

The third day after Chengdong was kidnapped and was returned to the hospital.

September 3, 2010.

Shanghai Zhongshan Hospital-Chengdong Ward.

Morning

Scott entered Chengdong's ward.

Chengdong was tossing about in bed due to toxin attack, shaking and sweating coldly.

"Chengdong, what are you doing?! Those kidnappers are too much! I would rather they beat you up than let you endure hundreds of poisonous needles! You are in the final stage of cancer, and they still torture you like this!" Scott said angrily.

"It hurts... it hurts... medicine... medicine!" Chengdong replied weakly, his nose bleeding.

Scott immediately gave Chengdong a painkiller injection and wiped the blood on Chengdong's face.

"I...how long can I live?" Chengdong asked.

"Estimated... estimated to be less than two months." Scott replied.

November 1, 2010.

In Chengdong's apartment.

Chengdong injected the syringe into his neck. Afterward, he slashed his wrist three times.

He was lying on the bed, texting on WeChat....

"Farewell to this world forever. Finally... finally free. I... I have been very... very tired of being a clown my whole life." Chengdong cried and laughed.

At this time, Michelle opened the door...

"Chengdong! Chengdong! What are you doing!? Why are you so stupid!?" Michelle asked excitedly.

"Michelle... you... why are you here?! Please leave! You have a dinner with Jiale tonight. I... my life is not worth regretting." Chengdong replied softly.

Michelle helps Chengdong bandage his wrist...

"Don't talk nonsense! I'll take you to the hospital right away! My wedding with Jia Le is fake. We are already married, how can we get married again!" Michelle said anxiously.

"We... our wedding without anyone witnessing was a fake, right? Although it was very romantic, after all..." Chengdong vomited a lot of blood in the middle of his answer.

"No! Our wedding is real! The certificate is also real! Chengdong! You believe me! Today's wedding is for my mother to see. I hope she will let you go!" Michelle cried.

"Do it...show it to your mother!? Ahem...cough cough, but it's too late. Michelle, actually...I've been hiding a lot of things from you. I... I just regained my memory recently. I also recently suffered from cancer, but... it's already late. I only... have one or two months to live. Your mother didn't let me go. .I... the day I was released from prison, she sent someone to kidnap me, cut... cut off my private parts, gave me chili oil to drink, and even... even injected poison into my body. These... I felt very bad this week, so I took two bottles of poison from your mother and injected it into my neck." Chengdong answered laboriously while crying.

At this time, Mr. and Mrs. Song and Scott came to the apartment. Chengdong was already bleeding from seven holes, and he was in great pain. He lay on Michelle's wedding dress and held her hand tightly...

"I...I'm happy to die next to you. No...don't take me to the hospital. I'm tired. I don't want to live anymore. I...I've been suffering from cancer for five years. That's enough. No... I'm either coughing non-stop, or vomiting and having a headache. Die... just die. Anyway, I have no relatives around me. I just failed my adoptive parents." Chengdong

After saying that, he kept coughing.

"Chengdong! Let's go to the hospital right away! Don't delay!" Michelle replied.

"No...no need. I...I...I want to die at home." Chengdong said weakly.

"Michelle just let him do what he wants. There are too many toxins. He will die any time." Scott replied.

Chengdong held Michelle's hand very tightly, and it was shaking violently...

"I...I...I saw...saw...them. He...he...they came to take me...away. Mi... Michelle...I will always love you..." Chengdong vomited the last mouthful of blood, let go of Michelle's hand, and passed away with a smile. .

"Song Chengdong, I will always love you." Michelle hugged the deceased Chengdong and cried.

"Michelle, let go of Chengdong. He...he has died." Scott said.

Michelle checked his eyes and pulse...

"Time of death..." Before Michelle could answer, Ci En hit Michelle hard on the face.

" Michelle chen, get out! Why, you were the one who caused the car accident back then, and now it's you who announces Chengdong's death! Don't you feel ashamed!? Chengdong has suffered from amnesia since he knocked down by a car because of you when he was ten years old. His parents won't be able to see him for the last time! When he was eighteen years old, as soon as he recovered from his illness, he clamored to see you right away! Why didn't you just reject my son when he was eighteen years old and still let him throw himself into this love stupidly? Because of You! He has a serious relapse of stomach ulcer, but you still treat it as nothing and continue to let him eat chili peppers! Your mother even gets worse! She killed his parents back then, and even now she refuses to let him go! Chen family is worse than a beast. ! It was your mother who gave my son a poisonous injection that caused his cancer to increase rapidly! Everyone in the Chen family will be punished!" Ci En cried and pulled Michelle's hair angrily.

Scott announced the time of death, and Jia Le just arrived...

"Jia Le, take Michelle and leave." Scott replied.

Michelle innocently knelt and walked in the rain outside Chengdong's apartment. Jiale grabbed her...

"Michelle, let's go back to the hotel. We have a dinner tonight." Jia Le said.

"I don't want to attend any dinner party! Chengdong is dead! There's no point in doing these things!" Michelle replied crying.

"What about your mother?" Jia Le asked.

"Let's go to Chen's house to find Chen Huijuan right now!" Michelle replied angrily.

Michelle and Jiale got into the car.

-end of chapter-