Chapter 67

His mother looked at me with eyes that bore no surprise, no questions...just the strongest hint of understanding. She knew who I was, I could tell that she did. She moved completely to the side, her bubbly nature threatening to take over, then she stretched out her hand with the broadest smile. 

" So handsome!" She loudly whispered to Calen who shot her that look that warned her against embarrassing him once more. I took her hand and shook it, then I told her it was a pleasure to make her acquaintance. 

" Oh, the pleasure's all mine. Jerald, isn't that right?" I told her it was and she nodded. Then she inclined her head towards Calen and chuckled. 

" He has told me so much about you, "

" I've told you nothing, " Calen differed. Arching bith brows at his mother who was slightly shirted than I was. She smiled to herself before letting go of me. I knew they hadn't seen each other for a while but one couldn't tell, it was either because his mother was trying to cover up the awkwardness with exaggerated affection or their bond was so strong that it could withstand the test of time. She congratulated me on my achievement, then she crooked her arm around Calen's and told him that she was proud of him for the third or so time. She however didn't seem to be aware of anything other than that, I believed Calen hadn't shared any of the news to her. So she must not have known that her own son was planning on travelling miles away to be with a boy because he refused to let go. That her son had chosen to love, and so he loved hard, with all the might he possessed. 

She was inquisitive though, asked us a lot of questions about how we felt to finally be done.

" You must be ecstatic. I remember when I finished highschool, forever believed that would be the best day of my existence. Until I had you of course, " she quickly added, her focus shifting to Calen. 

She was trying too hard. I sensed the tension. Calen was determined to close off, to push her away. To show her that she hadn't had to come. And she sensed it as well but didn't want to accept it, so she pushed in an attempt to break the ice that seemed the size of an iceberg.

" Have your parents not gotten here yet?" She asked me and I forced a smile. 

" No, they weren't able to make it. "

That wasn't a lie unless you scratched the surface and pried deeper into the root of my words. But Calen's mom knew nothing of my sad history with my father or of the things that had occured. And I saw no reason for her to know either. 

" How will you be getting home then? I assume you must have luggage, "

I turned to Calen for lack of a response. He would be in a better position to answer her questions, I was unable to tell her that her son and I were planning on going to his cabin to spend a few days before we went ahead and joined our campuses. 

" He's not going home, " Calen informed her, and before she could ask what that meant he told her, " We're going to the cabin. We're staying together, " short clipped words that gave the impression he wanted to speak nothing of the matter, not with her. She was confused and turned to us both. Unanswered questions flooding her mind but she didn't know how to ask them. And she resorted to staring at us until we decided to explain. We didn't.

We couldn't explain because the air was now tinged with dullness. I felt darkness creep in, and by darkness I mean fear. 

They say that the only way to cure fear is to experience it over and over until you become somewhat immune. In other words, the only solution to fear is in the fear itself. It's the same case with children and that one dish that they detest. Feed it to them enough time and they'll get so used to it so much that they will inevitably forget about their dislike.

But my fear in no way resembled a dislike to vegetables. The more I experienced it the more it grew. The large hall felt darker, emptier....smaller. And all of a sudden I felt my gut clench as it drained me for everything I had. Calen seemed worse, all the color drained from his face and his eyes remained unblinking as he stared behind me. And in that moment I thought, " Once again we tried, and once again we failed, "

His mother must have been wondering why the sudden change in both of our demeanors. She called out to her son but Calen was swimming admist the storm. Waiting for the lighting to strike at him. He was challenging it to do just that. I turned around and found him as he took the last two steps to where I was. Everyone else in the auditorium was completely normal, their lives hadn't been altered in any way. They could still manage to smile and laugh and joke about the promising future. But I was paralyzed in that moment, my physical form and my mind both as I looked into the grey eyes of someone I wished to never see again. Barely controlled rage a sight that seemed comfortable on his features. A part of his natural expression, only it increased when he was looking at me. 

" How many more times will you make me go through this?" he calmly asked. Sounding much like the victim he was not. He looked around the hall, noting the large crowd, not wanting to make a scene lest he ruin his image and let people know the source of his anger. 

Shaking his head, he looked at me and placed a hand on his waist.

" What happened to you Jerald? " 

What happened to me? 

I matched my gaze with him. Knowing that if I backed down this time it would haunt me for the rest of my life, Calen didn't deserve that.

" Um, excuse me...hi, " Calen's mom stepped forward, then she outstretched her arm in greeting. My father stared at it with unhidden distaste, not bothering to return the gesture. She drew her hand back and tuned to her son, asking her what was going on because she could tell something was not as it should be. 

" I don't want to make a scene, I found out you were here two days ago but decided to let you graduate. Now you've done so, you no longer have a reason to be here. Let's go. "

His tone implied that he had done me a favor by letting me stay in school, that it wasn't something he had to do but because he still cared and regarded me as his son he had decided to let me finish my schooling like it appeared I wanted to. 

I had nothing to say. Or I did but didn't know how to say it. But Calen stepped in again, just like last time. He reached for my hand, holding it in his, my father caught the action and fisted his own. It bothered him like nothing else had ever managed to do, to see that touch despite how innocent. It was making him turn almost hostile.

" He isn't going anywhere, not this time, " he uttered with depth in his voice and fear in his soul. With love in his heart and refusal in his mind. 

" You have NOTHING to do with this boy! " my father uttered in that familiar hushed violence. A threatening whisper that had his mother's lios parting in shock as she began to understand what was going on.

" I'm not going. " I told him. I was sure of that much, it didn't matter what he did or how greater the rift between us grew, I wasn't willing to leave with him once again. To let the ugly past repeat itself. 

" I've enrolled in school far from here, I'm going to study music in the near future as well. I'll continue to love Calen and until you accept me for who I am I'm afraid I shall never step a foot on your lands. "

I hoped he got the message loud and clear, I looked at him for as long as my confidence allowed me to. then I shifted my focus to the tiled floor and let him absorb my words. 

" Who will be providing for your needs?" He asked in an almost mocking tone. Then he looked at Calen's mom and asked whether she was the one. I wasn't going to offer him more details. If I wanted to destroy the weak bridge that connected us then I had to make sure he knew as little of my plans as possible.

" How can you be okay with this?!" He asked her his hand gesturing to where Calen held mine. Calen's mom scoffed, then she crossed her arms and took a step towards my father. 

" I'm a research scientist Sir, I've spent the last twenty five years of my life trying to understand cells and biological patterns. And if there's one thing I've come to learn it's that the emphasis on sexual normalcy is like an oversretched rubber band. It bears no use, it's insignificant. "

She almost spelt out the words to him. Her chin held high because of their height difference. He turned to me, then to Calen, then back to his mother. " In supporting their wickedness, you are just as wicked, " he said. 

Calen's mom could not believe his words, his audacity.