Chapter 63

There were so many tests to do that first day. And during the last one I had spotted Oliver and walked over to him to say hi. His face had lit up when he saw me. 

" So it's true then, you really are back!" he commented and I nodded. He asked me why I had left and I told him the same thing I had told all the other countless students to ask me that. 

" One of my lucky stars fell, I was unable to catch it before it got to the ground. " 

With a confused face he frowned and then slowly nodded.

" Okay, sorry I asked. "

We were in class, waiting for the papers that were set to arrive in the next ten or so minutes. 

" You must be really happy to be back though, right?" He asked and I told him that I was. Then he chuckled and said something that had the color completely draining from my face and my heart beating with the will of thunder. 

" I suppose you know it's true love when one of you tries to end his life due to the other's absence, " 

I had thought I was hearing things and so I asked him to pardon me. He grew cautious all of a sudden. The same way a person would after they had disclosed information that they weren't suppose to disclose.

" It's nothing, just forget-"

" Oliver! Tell me, please. "

I hoped it wasn't what I thought. But then he sighed and told me that Calen had drowned himself in the pool.

" Pulled him out myself. A few more minutes in there and he would have surely died. "

Frantic and unable to concentrate, I glanced at my watch. Calen was doing his Spanish test but they could have been done by then. Without thinking, I made my way to the door, but I was forced to return to my seat when the teacher walked in with the papers in her hands. 

The test itself was allocated to take two hours. I answered the questions and went through them in under one, then I stood and went to hand it over. 

" Seriously?" One of the students asked as I made my way out. The teacher shushed him and threw him a warning glance. My mind wasn't on the test anymore, it was on Calen. 

I was mad...enraged. I was furious to learn that he could have attempted to do such a thing. It didn't matter how much he loved me, he knew that doing such a thing would affect me in ways words couldn't describe. I hurriedly made my way to his quarters, grateful when I found him in there. He looked up from his notebook and smiled, but then the smile disappeared once he saw the look on my face. The fury in my eyes. I was unable to control it. 

" J R? " There was worry and concern in his tone. He stood from his working desk and turned around to face me. I started to make my way towards him. 

" What happened? Wait, aren't you supposed to be doing-"

" Swear to me!" I cut him off. 

I finally got to where he stood and I reached out and grabbed the lapel of his blazer. 

" I need you to swear that you never tried to hurt yourself."

He blinked, then his eyes darted across the room before he settled them back on me. His hesitation only served to increase the feeling inside me. I don't know what it was but it wasn't by any means pleasant. 

" Calen, " I let my eyes fall to the floor. Then I shook my head and let go of him.

" I didn't. It was an accident, " he suddenly said and I checked to see whether I could detect the truth in his eyes. I didn't understand how it could have been an accident, but then in his eyes I could see the truth. And I would always believe him no matter what. 

 Inching closer, he ran the back of his hand over my cheek. 

" I must have been overthinking, then I just zoned off, " he explained. Then he chuckled and shook his head before telling me that he had been forced to take counselling sessions for two weeks after that. 

" I wouldn't jump into the unknown without you, " he finished off and I pressed my forehead to his chest and started to calm down. 

" Good, " I told him, " Seeing you hurt would ruin me. I consider it a fate worse than death. " As soon as I said that he held my chin between his thumb and forefinger and made me look at him. Then he closed his eyes and looked away. 

" Then imagine how I must feel JR, " he commented. I no longer wanted to dwell on the subject.

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The following day Calen and I had gotten into an argument. I had decided not to tell him about Argentina, and so when he had asked me what I was planning on doing after my exams I told him I'd return to Rabdah and continue living with Siran. The lie just slipped out without intention. And he had looked at me as if I was insane. And told me that he wasn't going to let me return to that place. Then I had asked him what he thought I should do and he hadn't hesitated in telling me.

" Stay here with me, I'm planning on getting an apartment in the city, close to the university I'll be attending. J.R, this way we won't have to worry anymore, " the hope in his voice had been too much. And I had told him that couldn't work out. I wasn't willing to be dependent on anyone,let alone him. And when I asked him what I would be doing all day he had simply shrugged and said he'd talk to his parents and ask them to pay for my schooling as well. That forced me to bust his bubble made of optimism and wishes. I refused to let him do that. In the end the entire thing had turned into an argument. He thought I was being stubborn for no reason. That I was refusing to let US be happy. But I had my own reasons for refusing and he wouldn't see that.

Afterwards I had sought after Mr.Harrison and he had been delighted to see me back. And the first thing he asked me was whether I had gotten the envelope. I assured him that I had and asked him for his assistance as far as admission and communication with those scouts went. He wanted to know whether my parents had agreed and because I didn't want to lie to him, I told him that my mother was okay with it. Because she was. She only wanted me to be as far from my father as I could be. 

My polo instructor had accepted to help in any way he could. And I was glad that he had a liking towards me because otherwise he would have probably said he was too busy. 

After my conversation with him I had decided to return to my room and play something that would help me relax and forget about the situation with Calen. We didn't have the time to quarrel and disagree. Actually, we barely had time at all. But then when I had walked into my quarters I had found him seated on my bed. His head bowed and a far away look on his face. And when I glanced down at his hands I tensed. 

" You were never planning on telling me, were you?" 

He was holding the papers I had accidentally left on my table that morning. The same ones that spoke of my impending move to a land fourteen hours away. I didn't know what to say, and when he looked at me I saw hurt and disappointment. Almost as if he couldn't believe I had kept the information hidden. I didn't know what to do. I was unaware of how to approach the situation. And I knew that anything I said would not help to solve the situation.

" This is why you returned, isn't it? So that you could graduate and then disappear once more. " I kept quiet. If I talked then there were chances I would end up making things worse. He was mad, it would be better to let him talk first before I tried to explain. 

" Why didn't you tell me?" He asked and then stood up. His eyes scanning through the papers once more before he placed them on the bed and looked at me. I looked away. That was exactly why I hadn't mentioned the scholarship, because I had predicted his reaction. In Calen's mind we had a good ending, I recalled his earlier suggestion and I was forced to shake my head. Then I walked over to him and I sat down on the bed while remained standing. He didn't turn around to face me. I hated that barrier between us. I hated that we were arguing when we ought to have been making the most out of our time together.

Because I would be going to Argentina...and he would remain there.