Chapter 56

I sat across the chair, facing away from both Aliyah and Sarin. The two envelopes in my hand, I wondered what they could possibly contain. 

I gently placed the larger one on the table's surface, then I studied the smaller envelope of pure white. Unlike the other one, there was no name on it. I unsealed it and looked inside. There was a neatly folded paper, and I knew that paper. It had been plucked from Calen's notebook. The parallel lines had always interested me since they were of varying colours. And I recalled having complemented him on the notebook once. 

I took out the paper and held it in my hand. The last time he had written me something he had left me emotionally battered and bruised. And I had already endured quite a lot. This time however, I found myself eager to read the contents of his note. I unfolded it and began to read. His handwriting an artistic mixture of curves and uniform patterns. Written in the pen I had gifted him. I knew so.

" I long for you..." were the first words, the opening statement that gave way to the rest. 

I thought of him and read on.

" Your touch haunts me, shakes me till I fall to the hard ground. Beaten. Worn out. I hear the echo of your soft voice in the most silent of rooms. I see you in the darkest of places. I'm drowning in the thoughts of you, dreaming of you while I'm wide awake. Speak my J.R, you are not voiceless, so speak. Use your actions if you must, just let your truth be heard. 

With a love that drains then heals me,

Calen Silverstein.

P.S : Andrew from literature class tried to flirt                   

with me. I very politely asked him to find a vacant heart that doesn't beat for another. "

I smiled when I read the last part, knowing very well he had written it specifically for that purpose. Then I read the letter one last time before I placed it back into the envelope. My eyes then landed on the larger one. Assumptions doing cartwheels in my head. I thought that perhaps there were more letters in there. That wouldn't have surprised me. Picking it up I opened it. My eyes glancing at Aliyah and Sarin for a second, noting how keenly they were observing me. As if waiting for me to tell them something, but I had nothing to tell. His words were for me. Not to be glanced by others. 

When I looked into the larger envelope however, I frowned. 

There were some sort of formal documents inside. For some reason I began to grow anxious. Apprehensive. 

Reaching in I pulled all of them out, catching sight of my name somewhere in them. And when I began to read my eyes widened and I immediately stood. I flipped through the three pages, my eyes darting around. The words readable yet I feared I might have been dyslexic. 

" Is everything okay?" Aliyah asked, also standing and looking up at me expectantly, lines of worry forming on her soft features. I swallowed, my throat felt perched and I wondered whether perhaps there were forces out there that were controlling the events of my life and how one would lead to the other. When Aliyah asked me what the letter said I stretched it out to her, not having the ability to talk.

Not knowing whether to consider the contents as good news or bad. 

" Wow Jerald this is amazing! " she said,her voice layered with excitement. I blinked repeatedly and sat back down. 

It was a scholarship. 

Apparently some scouts had attended the polo competition and seen me play, and they were offering me a college scholarship in exchange for my skills.

But there were conditions.

" It says you have to graduate first, " Aliyah said. That was only one of the few disadvantages that there were. 

According to the letter, if I accepted then I had to join a national polo team...

" Argentina?" Aliyah suddenly asked and I looked up at her. 

If I concented then I would have to return to Seville for my exams. And I was certain that if I did that then my father would find out. And even if he didn't and I graduated at last, I'd have to move to Argentina. 

" I mean, this could work, " Aliyah said. Sounding hopeful as she re-read the letter carefully. Sitting down to analyze it. Siran must have thought we needed some privacy since he excused himself and left. 

" It says they'd pay for everything you'd need, all you'll have to do is play well and get high scores. That sounds achievable, right?" She asked me and I didn't respond. I was deep in thought. Thinking about Geography, for some reason I was thinking about the fact that it was a minimum of fourteen hours from Argentina to London by air. 

And I was also thinking about the fact that I did not want to play polo professionally...but then again, if I said yes then I wouldn't have to worry about resources any longer since my fees as well as other things would be catered for.

Yet somehow there were more cons than pros.

" Why aren't you happy? Jerald this is perfect!" Aliyah said. A smile on her face and her eyes never leaving the letter, looking at it over and over as if she couldn't believe it was all true.

" I can't go back to Seville, you know that. It'll be too risky. "

That was a plain fact that could not be ignored, the plan was to get as far away from my father as I could. So if I returned to Seville and he found me then that would be the end of everything, including the scholarship that Aliyah was ecstatic about. She placed the letter on the table and I saw her mind jump into action. Then after a while she looked up at me and bit her nails, her eyes narrowing as if she were considering something.

" When were you supposed to graduate?" She finally asked. Sounding a little too confident in herself. I told her that the official date would be in the next three weeks. She slowly nodded,then she leaned back against her chair and asked me when my exams were set to begin and how long they were supposed to take. 

" They were to start on the twenty eighth, then end on the thirty first. "

" Four days?" She asked and I nodded. After that we were to wait for two days,and then we'd graduate and finally be done with high school. Aliyah looked around the house,then she stood and crossed her arms.

" I'm certain that after two weeks father will be tired of searching for you. So here's what I think we ought to do..." she began.

It wasn't the worst of ideas. According to her I was supposed to stay with Sarin for the next two or so weeks, then she said that she'd book me a flight back to London set to leave on the twenty seventh. 

" A day before your exams start. Just go there, do them, graduate and then leave. "

She made it sound so easy. But she wasn't paying attention to all the things that could go wrong.

" And if father finds out I'm there?" I asked and she shrugged nonchalantly. Like that was the least thing I ought to worry about.

" He won't, he's planning on returning there tomorrow to check whether you went back. You'll only be there for five days, don't worry about that, I'll think of something to ensure he doesn't find out. "

I reached for the letter again and glanced at it. I liked polo, it was something that I rather enjoyed playing. But a five year contract? 

" Look at the bright side, you'll go to a place where no one knows you, and maybe..." she let the words trail off, unfinished. But I knew what she wanted to say. Maybe Calen and I had a chance. He had already told me his plans before , said he had selected a nice university in London where he could pursue his writing career. 

" There is no maybe Aliyah, this isn't as perfect as it may seem, " I said as I reached for the envelope and placed the letter back into it. 

" It could be though, " she was so optimistic all I wanted to do was share in her excitement. But I had gone through enough to learn that eventually, something bad would always happen. 

I missed him, and I was aching with the need to see him again, but then it would be like a continuation of our initial state. I would only have him for five days before we had to go on our separate ways again, and I knew I ought to at least appreciate that I got any time at all. But it upset me, it didn't seem fair. I didn't want five days, what I really needed was a lifetime.

" Can I think about it first?" I asked Aliyah. She stared at me as if I was a little mad. As if I couldn't see the great opportunity I was being handed, but she didn't understand what I felt. The fear I had within me. She nodded however, said I could.

" But be fast about it, I'm pretty sure I saw a deadline on the contract, "

I had seen it as well. I still had three days to think about it. To consider whether it truly was what I wanted.