Chapter 33
" It's those who have to fight for what they want that truly understand the meaning of life. Eat little ones," such compassion it almost made me choke. He patted a little boys head, then he turned to the oldest of them, a girl of about ten.
" Take care of them, " he said as he handed her what I assumed was more money. And after that we walked away, and as we did so I heard him say.
" I think I felt it back there."
And he didn't have to clarify because I knew what he meant. He used the money for good and in doing so he felt the love he couldn't before.
" A heart of gold you possess. You are a rare breed of humanity. "
I meant those words. And he held my hand and squeezed, because that was him, he never liked to acknowledge it when he did good. And having anyone tell him he was always made him cringe.
🌼💮🌼💮🌼💮
The drizzling continued throughout the entire day, and we made the best time out of it. We window shopped and this time we only bought those things we wanted. He bought me this lovely pen that looked so pristine I would fear to write with it as well as a notebook that had the best leather cover I had ever come across. And it was quite fun to try on all these clothes despite having initially agreed to both only buy two pieces of clothing each. I bought a pair of jeans and a blue shirt while he went for a denim jacket and a pair of sneakers. And I know he only bought them because I had really liked them on him the same way I bought mine since he liked them on me.
The entire thing was quite fun. And afterwards we went to a fast food restaurant and we ordered an entire pizza and strawberry smoothies. And we talked about everything as we ate. That was the first time he asked me whether my parents knew I was gay. I told him that they did not, but it wasn't because I was ashamed. I could quite literally pick up the phone and break the news to them any moment, but I never saw the need to do so.
I had bought him this lovely watch but decided to wait till later to give it to him, he had lost the one his father gave to him and I wanted him to have another in its place. A happy memory where there would have been a sad one.
Two girls kept staring at us and I pointed it out to him, he frowned and turned in their direction.
" Well don't look at them goddamnit!" I said but he was already doing just that. One of them smiled all shyly and waved at him while the other one literally winked at me. I wasn't gay because I had been going to an all boys boarding school. That's what most assumed but it was a very wrong assumption. I was gay because it's who I was and because it was Impossible for me to be anything but.
I chuckled lightly at the girls flirtations and took a sip of my smoothie, deciding to pretend they weren't there. Then J.R turned towards me with this look of utter horror.
" Did she just wink at you? "
I shrugged and told him to let them be. But he seemed adamant to do the opposite.
He turned back around and the girl who seemed more into him blew him a kiss. I actually laughed this time.
" Stop that!" he warned me. And when I refused to do so he did something I never would have expected, he leaned towards me and kissed me. Hard and possessive. Then he sat back down and didn't bother to even look at the girls reactions. I noticed though, and they looked like they were in shock. It only served to make me laugh louder.
" That ought to stop them from getting any ideas," he said so casually I wondered how I had been living without him for all those years.
🌼💮🌼💮🌼💮
The next week flew by in an unrecognizable wave. One moment we were going back to school on a Sunday evening after staying in a hotel and the next thing we knew, the week was almost coming to an end. Things had gone back to how they usually were as far as studying was concerned. We attended the classes normally and I always looked forward to the ones we took together.
The midterm results were announced in the auditorium that Friday and the lead five as well as those who performed well in various subjects were called forth. It was mostly for recognition. But they were also handed these certificated that acted as proof of the students intellectual brilliance. My J.R and I were among them and for that I was grateful. Actually, his name was called so many times the deputy asked him to just stand at the front instead of frequently sitting down only to stand again.
He seemed to be in a world of his own the entire time. But every other student stared at him like he was unreal, as if he had accomplished something that could just not be accomplished, yet as they sang his praises, his mind wasn't even there.
He hated the attention, and so he opted to disappear into his own mind.
That week came to an end, and so did the other. And then on Saturday of the second week the school's atmosphere changed and was filled with excitement again.
The sports officially commenced. The activities took about four days, and once you removed Sunday, it meant they would officially end on Wednesday of the following week. At around eight, school buses from other neighbouring schools began to arrive.
The students of Seville were only excited because they knew that two girl schools would be participating. That would mean a rare chance to ' interact ' with the other gender.
I was in charge of making sure everything was set up well. And it was a tiresome job really, but it was a good thing I had the assistance of both Oliver and all the team leaders. We went through everything that morning and ensured it was as it should be. Then when the event officially began, I went to join my J.R at the soccer field to watch a match like we had previously agreed.
We tended to utilize any free time we had and spend it together. And he said that though he had never truly been a fan of soccer, the physics of it did interest him. Where others saw fun he saw angles. So I went to the bleachers and sat next to him on the space he had preserved for me. And we watched the game until somehow we became so invested in it that we'd actually cheer on.
" Which team are you rooting for?" I asked him when I realized he'd cheer for both. All he did was shrug and say, " I cheer for the team that makes an effort, in this case it's both of them. "
After the game ended and The Ingram Private School won, we moved on over to a lacrosse game on the other edge of the field. We had now become enthusiastic about the sports and we watched in pure fascinating, adrenaline would kick in every so often and I would shout when the school's team scored a goal. They lost in the end and despite my utter disappointment, I still felt strangely energetic.
At that point J.R and I had to go on our separate ways since we both had to prepare for our own sports. Though his polo match would be starting half an hour before mine. And I figured that I could drop in real quick and see him play for a while before I headed back to the pool area for my own competition.
There were strangers around so despite his newly found courage, he was a bit conscious about the amount of intimacy we could showcase publicly.
" I crave to see you swim, " he told me, standing in front of me with his hands tucked into his pockets.
" You shall, on Monday remember?" he'd be free during my game and so he'd come and watch. He nodded and sighed. Wanting to touch but fearing to do so. I quickly placed two fingers on my lips then pressed them to his cheek.
" Be careful out there. Don't break any limbs....for my sake, " I said and he attempted a smile.
" Likewise. I need you whole Calen Silverstein,"
" But I won't be," I commented and he frowned. So I found his eyes and held them before I added, " As long as there's distance and you're not there then I am anything but whole. "
He flickered his eyes around, refusing to continue holding mine. Then he said he really had to go and he pressed my shoulder and I watched him walk away.