Chapter 30

Jeralds' POV

" How quickly you judge me. " 

Words whispered so close to his ear he let our a soft exhale. And when he would have stepped back in order to look at me like he wished, I didn't let him. Rather I held on to the lapels of his blazer and kept him where he was.

Close to me. And I playfully nibbed his earlobe with my teeth.

" Jerald?" There was that shock again. My actions were a shock to both him and I. But I didn't let myself ponder on the fact that we were in the corridor or that there were actually students passing at the time. Rather I concentrated on the feel of his skin and the clean scent that always made me delirious. 

" I'm tired of being afraid, " I confessed and he kissed my neck. Slow and intimate in the way that was so him. 

" I'm fed up of lurking in the shadows," I added and he moved to my cheek, placing an equally tender kiss on it. Our eyes caught and he smiled before placing another kiss on my other cheek.

" I'm sick of worrying about what others might think. This is a chance I'll never get again, and afterwards I'll have to step into the darkness again, but before that, I want to live in the light Calen Silverstein, " 

He held me by my chin, I noticed a small crowd behind us but I forced myself to be brave. The fear was still there but I knew it wouldn't vanish. This wasn't about eliminating it, it was about living past the fear. 

"My sweet J.R, " he murmured, then he kissed me. I heard whispers, someone whistled and another cheered. And I kissed MY Calen back.

                        🌼💮🌼💮🌼💮

" Thank you, " Calen told me that night while we were standing on his balcony. The view from there was better than mine since he stayed on a much higher floor compared to the one I was in back in my building. 

" No need to thank me, I enjoy making you tea, " I joked and he chuckled. Then he took a sip of the said tea before he grew serious again.

" Sometimes I think I ought to be weary. Because it doesn't feel normal to think about someone as much as I think of you, but I have never been a firm believer in normalcy. " 

He always intrigued me when he told me things like that then changed the topic like he had said nothing at all. 

I placed my tea on the window pane behind us and leaned on the railing. Focusing on the millions of stars.

" Thank you for your step of courage. I admire that about you. "

I smiled and gave a curt nod. Then I watched him from the corner of my eye as he shifted and stood behind me, wrapping me up in his warmth with the mug of tea still in his hand. Smoke rising from it with soft and quiet ferocity. I snuggled into him and sipped the tea when he brought it to my lips after blowing on it. 

" I have a secret to tell, " I informed him.

" Please do share. "

" I don't know, I think I prefer to keep it to myself since you'll know soon enough."

" I wonder where you learnt your taunting from. "

" The very best of course. "

I felt his hand in my hair, the other wrapped around me in such a possessive way I felt flattered.

" Tell me...." he kissed the top of my head then added " please?" 

I wasn't as strong as he was when it came to such things so I gave in after that.

" Do you want to know much you scored in your chemistry exam? " 

He shuddered exaggeratedly, then he sighed and held me closer. 

" Do I? "

" Well considering that you improved by a tremendous 27%, I see no fault in telling you. "

I turned around to face him and caught a glance at the shock on his face.

He had an 82% which was admittedly more than I ever thought he'd get. That just confirmed how smart he truly was. Anything he learnt he remembered. That mind of his was something else.

" Do you know this for sure?" 

" Do you make me wish I had the ability to stop time whenever I was with you? " I raised an eyebrow at him and turned back around.

" The answer is yes, " I finished off. 

" I thank the heavens for you. "

I didn't speak after that but that was okay. Words weren't necessary in such cases. 

                       💮🌼💮🌼💮🌼

Calen's POV

The following day we attended our classes which basically involved us going to class and sitting around until the bell rang. After which we would proceed to the next class and do the same thing.

At noon I attended a meeting with the schools teaching staff and principle concerning matters that were to be taken into account for the remaining part of the term. I pitched in once in a while but mostly my work was to listen. Then I recorded all the essential information in my notebook and the meeting ended. I had a free period which I used to write an idea that had been stuck in my head, everything seemed so much clearer on paper. I also read a bit and then I went to lunch. I was expecting to find J.R there already seated at our table, but then Oliver told me that he wouldn't be coming since he had polo practice. Apparently they had some sort of interschool competition coming up and the coach was making them train any free time they had starting from that day.

The school's team had never won anything as far as my memory knew, but apparently with J.Rs inclusion in the team, he believed there was some sort of chance to make a change.

I believed he was right.

All it took was watching him at and one would know that he was capable of what some perhaps deemed to be Impossible.

I was disappointed though. I had gotten so used to having him with me every time that being separated for even a few hours became unbearable. 

But I also knew that it wasn't healthy to be so dependent on each other to the point that our existence kind of relied on the other person.

I needed to learn how to give him space sometimes since I couldn't always be there. 

And so I ate in the company of Oliver and Rajeev and I listened to how each one had spent their break and once they asked me about mine, I found myself smiling. It came from nowhere but I couldn't help it.

" You can spare us the details then. I think we already know what you two were up to. " Rajeev said on noticing my smile and I shrugged and continued eating.

My joy he was. In a world where all else seemed to shatter into shards, he remained my firm ground to fall on. And I had bared myself open to him under so many instances. I had let him see parts of myself I never let anyone see. And I knew him in a way no one else did. I knew all aspects of him. The funny one and the sarcastic one which was secretly my favorite, the sweet one and the serious one which only emerged at certain times. 

But despite his leap into the light, I knew I would never be so brave. I would hold him and keep him close but I would never reveal to him the actual depths of what I felt.

I loved him more than I thought possible. And now I'm certain that before him I never actually knew what that emotion meant. But now I was convinced that for him I would do anything.

Anything.

But I wouldn't tell him the truth. That was the only exception, and it was for both of our good. If I crossed the line then that would be simply selfish of me. And chances were that he wouldn't be able to say it back. Saying those words would be the end of it all most likely, and so I would rather keep the confession of love to myself than ruin the beauty of what we had.

After lunch we I went to  class again and then I went to the library where I decided to spend the rest of the day. I found another interesting book that took my concentration and I read it until I couldn't anymore.

But even as I did he was always there. In my mind, a thought that refused to fade. And I was constantly staring at the wall clock wondering when the last bell would ring. And even when it did I delayed a bit, took the book back to the bookshelf and made my way out. With each step I took I wondered when I'd get to him.