Part 19

Part 19

"he tasted of sin against her holy soul"

Justin's POV

I looked to see Selena push herself off me causing me to frown and she sat back into her seat without even glancing at me as I stare at her.

I sighed.

I wanted to make everything better between us.

All she did was try to be nice and I couldn't deal with it.

Because it made me believe my dad more.

But because she's starting to break because of me, I see more to her.

I see that she was like me.

Broken.

But because of me. 

"I'm back" I heard my mum smile and I turned to her forcing a smile on my face and I glared at my food.

Selena loves her food.

I glanced at her. "Great now can we start eating?" I whined causing my mum to chuckle and Selena to see her roll her eyes causing me to stop smiling.

I wanted to make her laugh.

"Yes you may" my mum said sitting in her seat and I nodded before I felt my appetite vanish.  

I didn't really feel like eating probably because of Selena being too angry at me.

I needed to find out a way for her to forgive me.

But I also couldn't rush her as she had every right to be mad.

I sighed.

"Justin why aren't you eating?" I heard my mum asked and I snapped out of my thoughts. I forced out a nod and felt my mouth run dry.

I probably should've taken my pills this week.

I keep on forgetting them due to the voices in my head telling me to do otherwise. 

I hated when I let my subconscious take the better of me.

It's like i'm a complete different person.

Mostly when i'm with Selena which is the worst time for them to be out but this time i'm not gonna let the stop me from being with her. 

I felt a little dizzy and looked up.

Fuck I couldn't be around her right now.

Not like this.

"Mum, i'm not really hungry, I kinda have a slight headache" I said raising my voice slightly as I felt like it was going to crack any moment.

She looked at me worried. "Um why don't you have a tiny piece then" she asked and I shook my head noticing her slight worry for me.

I got up tucking my stool under glancing at Selena to see her looking at me confused before her eyes turn emotionless.

I smiled at her but she didn't respond to it.

"Selena can you please take Justin up to his room?" My mum sasked and I looked down to see her clench her jaw before nodding. 

'Wow your mum really had to get the slut to help us' my subconscious said and I bit back a groan knowing I hadn't taken my pills in ages which didn't help at all.

I couldn't get her near me but I couldn't speak as well.

I waited for Selena and she let out a sigh before standing up.

I bite my lip before turning around heading to my room. I looked behind to Selena glanced at me before looking back down.

She stopped at my door and I quickly open my drawer.

"Wow" I heard Selena say behind me with a hint of amusement and I turned my head in confusion to see her looking at a picture of Brittany spears in only a bikini. 

I gulped turning back round to hide my blush and I heard a chuckle from her causing me to let out a smile. I sighed feeling my breath shake and grab the bottle filled with my pills.

'Don't do it' I heard my subconscious say as a flash of dad starts to reappear in my head causing me to let out a groan. 

My head hurt too much.

"What's wrong?" I heard Selena ask from behind me as another flash of my dad smiling with Selena before he growled as he looked at me. I felt Selena's hand on top of my mine and the pills from my hand disappeared. 

I growled.

"Don't touch me" I whispered tightly closing my eyes and I felt a tight squeeze on my hand as I let out a whimper.

I mumbled curse words.

"Jay" I heard a whisper before I felt a tug on my body and I sat down on a soft surface. 

I opened my eyes to see Selena in front of me with 2 pills in her hand and a glass of water.

"I guess you have to take these for some reason" she muttered leaning closer towards me before we were inches apart. 

I licked my dry lips.

"Yeah" I forced out and she let out a nod placing the pills in my mouth. I closed my eyes as I heard a scream constantly happening in my head and a cold object touched my mouth.

I let out a harsh breath.

"Drink it" Selena's voice entered my ears and I nodded drinking the water. 

I opened my eyes after I finished the water and I looked to see Selena with a frown.

I wanted to say the reason for the pills but I didn't want to talk about it at the same time.

She probably already could guess why, but still.

I never talked about pills, about myself like that.

And with Selena.

I didn't know how I would reach. 

Sudenlt my mouth released a yawn before my eyes started to droop and I laid back in my bed looking back at Selena to see her standing there awkwardly.

I grabbed her hand causing her to gulp.

"Can you sleep with my tonight?" I asked  knowing I was definitely going to be having nightmares if I was sleeping alone. 

She shook her head.

"No" Selena says emotionless and I frown turning around not wanting to look at her.

I needed to respect her.

"Ok" I whimpered as I felt a pain in my chest and I heard a sigh before she stomped towards my bed causing me to smile.

I felt a weight next to me. 

I turned to my other side to see Selena next to me.

"Just for tonight" she said wrapping the sheets over her and I nodded taking off my shirt and trousers leaving me in my boxers.

I glanced at Selena to see her eyes wandering all over my body and I bite back a smile before laying on my side facing her before my eyes started to close and drift into darkness.

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