Track 11: Deeper Conversations
"Deeper Conversation" by Yuna
"And if you don't mind
Can you tell me
All your hopes and fears
And everything that you believe in
Would you make a difference in the world
I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation
Only you can make me
I've let my guard down for you
And in time you will too"
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Summer's POV
I woke up feeling better than yesterday. I look around and see myself covered by the blanket we used last time. I tried to get up to find Shien around the small nipa hut we are staying. I felt dizzy for a moment and remember the accident I had inside the woods.
I gather all my strength and reached for my set of clothes by the side of the bed. I started putting my bra on when Shien suddenly came inside the house.
We both shriek in surprise and embarrassment. He immediately left and lock the door while saying sorry. It was my cue to finish what I am doing for the fear that he might come inside. After that, I went outside and saw Shien sitting in a big rock.
"Hey," I called him out while walking towards him. He tried to look at me even if he was still awkward around me.
"How was your head?" He asked.
"I still feel a little bit dizzy," I said to him while hugging myself. All the awkwardness was overcome by my curiosity about what really happened last night. "What happened? How did we end up here? How did you find me? Did you find Joel?"
My bunch of questions started to make Shien irritated. He massaged his temple before he started talking. "Just listen to me and I'll tell you. All of your follow up questions will be answered after I finished."
I just nodded at him and waited for him. He looked away and started talking.
"Last night, after you went inside the forest, I followed you. But I can't come inside because the locals are telling me that it was muddy and sloppy inside. We kept waiting for the both of you but only Joel came out." He stopped and look down.
"I asked him if he saw you but he said no. I don't know what to do at that moment so I followed you. I searched for the whole forest but I can't find it until I heard a soft cry. Then I saw you there," he gulped and look at me. "You were crying but unconscious at the same time. Then I tried to get out of the forest but I can't. So, I tried to find a place to stay since I saw a small scrap in your head. Then, I saw this place."
Even he didn't tell me to do not asked him while he was telling the story, I think I will not do so. I really don't know what to say.
"Then, I realized that you were having seizures because of your head. You were also having a fever, so I resulted to remove all your clothes as well as mine. Good thing there was this blanket inside. It was full of dust at first but it was manageable. I am sorry that I have to see your body. I didn't mean anything." He sincerely said. I felt his awkwardness so I reached out his one hand.
"It's okay. Thank you, Shien." I couldn't help but think about all the nasty things that people told me about him.
"I just want to save you...that's all." He said and looked down.
"I said, it's fine. I believe you." I told him and gently caressed his hand. Then I asked him "How about you? Are you alright?"
He looked at me and smiled, "I am alright. But please, don't scare me like that."
I nodded and said, "I promise."
SHIEN and I started to go our way back to the village. After we talked, we started finding some food. Good thing that he has some training in boy scout while I, on the other hand, being familiar to some plants here in Batangas.
We talked a lot about things and for the first time, I felt safe in someone else's presence. It's weird but I guess Shien was a good person after all. All I wish was that people would see this version of him. Not the selfish, womanizer, and impulsive Shien.
"When did you start singing?" I asked him while we were walking.
"Hmm," He paused for a moment to think. "I guess when I was in second-year high school?"
"Really? You have a good voice. No one told you that before you went to high school?" I asked.
"No one actually," he let a small laugh before he continued. "All that I heard was that I am delinquent. An illegitimate son of a hostess and a rich businessman. But I don't even know who my father was. I carried my mother's last name. I don't have dreams actually. People told me that I don't have a future and I believe that."
I just looked at him in silence. I wanted him to continue.
"But then, I met Sass. She heard me sing and told me that I should be a star. She told me that I can be an artist. From that moment, I said that I will try to be one." He glanced at me and smiled. "Sass adored me more than anyone else in this world. She encouraged me to do what I am good at and stayed at my worst nights."
I smiled and looked away. I felt his love for Sass at that moment. A warm and comfortable affection towards another person.
"That's why I always go back to her. I don't really love her but I think I can spend the rest of my years with her." He said.
"But what if," I gather all my courage and asked him this question in my mind. "What if, you'll meet that person? The woman that you will love and want for the rest of your life?"
He was surprised at my question like it was his first time hearing it. He became silent for a moment. "Then..."
"Then?" I urged him to continue.
"Then, I will still spend my whole life with Sass. I can't imagine having another woman be serious with. After all these years, I always go back to her and she will embrace me again. And I will never find a woman like that. That's it I guess?" He said then raised his one brow like he was unsure to himself.
I laughed at him and throw a piece of leaf I got from a small plant.
"You're not even sure yourself!" I teased him. "But seriously Shien, you should think about that. Don't try to play the feelings of other people all the time. It was advice from a friend."
"So we're friends now?" He teased me and ignored what I just said.
I rolled my eyes at him and said, "Yes. We are friends."
He laughed so hard and shouted, "SHIEN AND SUMMER ARE FRIENDS!"
As our laughter echoed in the whole forest, I silently wish to just stay like this for a while. I just want to be this kind of Summer, carefree, warm, and without inhibitions. The version of me that doesn't overthink all my problems, responsibilities, and future. The Summer that Shien found in this weird summer vacation.