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Miserable Wanderer

A massive nerd dies and gets reincarnated, his excitement gets the best of him. The first words he hear are "Get to work slaves!" When he looks around and sees grotesque figures mining with oversized pickaxes his stomach drops to his colon. [Multiverse fanfic, starting in Warframe.] "Status." [Status displaying] Race: Grineer[100%] Level: 0 Status points Available: 0 Stats: Vitality: 1 Strength: 1 Agility: 1 Intellect: .3 Mastery Rank: 0 [Inventory] Strength Quote. "USELESS DISGUSTING MAGGOT FILTHY WORM WHY ARE YOU BREATHING MY AIR !"-Councilor Vay Hek The cosmos weeps at this mans fortune. A distant "FUCK MY LIFE" can be heard Cover not mine THERE WILL BE MULTIVERSE TRAVEL JUST NOT IN THE TRADITIONAL SENSE.

SoupHarbinger · Video Games
Not enough ratings
85 Chs

TG: 3 : My Vacation wont be trifled with!

It has been a few weeks since coming to this world and I have loved almost every second of it, except for the first few days but that's besides the point!

After my first couple commissions I was able to start renting a small apartment in this first ward , it is safe cozy and has a TV so I can sit and be a lazy bastard and relax like a man is supposed to!

I get called probably 4 times a week and it is the same shit everytime.

Show up, investigators covered in blood, ask then what happened, write it down.

Mail the report in and then leave. It is simple and I love it. I wish this was my home world because life is buttery smooth living in Tokyo!

I can take walks and go out to dinner like a civilized human it is simply immaculate my good sirs.

Currently I am just shopping for food, something so exciting for me that is just commonplace in this world.

My basket right now has some red bean paste in a tube, bread, and some ground beef.

I walk towards the check out and the teenage boy begins sliding my items, a small beep coming from each one as the barcode crosses the sensor.

I pay him and take my bag of groceries.

Exiting the store wind whips against my face, even light flakes of snow are falling. It has been what, 13 or so months since I last saw snow, and that was back on shithole Earth.

It is..

I love it.

It almost makes me tear up every time I realize I don't have to worry about being shot or stabbed every day.

I wish Gome and Drum could see this place. A world full of violence, but much less than what they lived through.

Bagh, I am shooting exposition again arent I?

Well time to head home and make some suppy.

--

--

[1 Jovial whistling walk later]

--

I fumble my key into the door of the apartment and open it up.

A small room with a plain mattress with white sheets greets me, beside the bed is a mini fridge, to the north is a TV and a microwave on a countertop flanked by a small 2 burner stove

A window with its grey curtains pulled back shines light throughout the 2 room apartment. The dark shadows of the bathroom leech slightly onto the main room.

I take out a pan from the microwave cabinet and place it on the heated burner, I slap the ground beef out of the pack and begin letting cook.

After a couple minutes I drain the grease into a jar and store it in the spice cabinet.

I put a little bit of water and milk into the pan with the beef and then add some tomato paste from a tube, garlic paste, chopped onions and onion powder, chili powder, turmeric, oregano and gochujang.

I stir the ingredients until the liquid starts boiling, from there I cover it for a minutes and then turn the heat down to low.

I take the lid off and add a bit of cornstarch and then stir it in. After a couple minutes of simmering the meat had become thick (Giggity) and the sauce has been sucked onto the surface of the beef.

I whip out the rice from my fridge and microwave it with a bit of water to re steam it and then slap that shit together.

And for a struggle meal it is superb.

Better than Grineer slop rations or having air for dinner in Elden Ring.

I eat the rice and turn my tv on to the news.

The weather is slated to calm down a bit in a few days, wich is better for people who have vehicles but I could care less.

Then the weather abruptly stops and goes to breaking news.

The news anchor, a beatiful woman with pink dyed hair, looks serious as she shuffles the paper in her hand.

A graphic appears next to her and she begins to speak.

"An A- ranked ghoul dubbed "Tri-tail" Has been sited lurking in southern Tokyo, it has not been confirmed by investigators if the rumors are true but all living in the southern wards are advised to stay in their homes for the rest of the day or until an investigator takes care of them, thank you. We will now return you to your normal broadcast."

Ah. Seems I'm gonna have work pretty soon then Ah? And its only 5..

--

[Southern Tokyo]

[Rize]

Tried tails. Is that what they are calling little Ken now.

How adorable he is even A ranked isnt that cute. Too bad he isnt in southern Tokyo.

He is right here.

In the basement of Anteiku like a good boy.

I stare at the black haired boy sitting silently in a wooden chair staring at the floor.

Yoshimura enter from the stairs and tries to put on his best little happy face.

"Kaneki, are you feeling better. I know this must all be horrible but.. Well.. That is life. Life is horrible."

"Dont tell me twice."

I reply sarcastically.

"I'm stuck babysitting someone I tried to eat. It's a bit awkward."

Yoshimura chuckles lightly.

"Well trust has to be gained to taken and forced miss Rize."

The old man sets a cup of coffee down next to the table by Kaneki and he glances at it, biting his lip softly.

"Rize I trust you stopped stalking that man, after he joined the CCG he is a no no."

"Yea yea old man I stopped."

I didnt.

I won't let another ghoul eat him.

He is mine.

I will have him. That old man has never smelled him, if he did. If..

He would still tell me to stop.

But he doesnt understand. I have to. It's not a choice anymore.

-----

----

*beep*

*beep*

The card in my shirt pocket vibrates lightly as I shit on some kids on Halo 5.

I flip it out and a text appears on the small digital lower half.

9th ward.

Well time to go to work.

--

[9th Ward]

I walk down the street listening for anything unusual as I make my way to the coordinates.

Only a couple blocks now, I should see something anytime.

--

Damn.

The corpse of 3 ghouls lie in a pool of blood. An investigator in a off grey-yellow coat lurches over them, readjusting his white glove. His blonde-grey hair blows lightly

"Ahh. It is the AA man. Well here's your report. 3 Ghouls dead. 1 special investigator uninjured, tri tails not found. Now shoo."

I write down everything he says and begin walking away.

"Mr. Mado that was a little. Stern. Let the man do his job."

A man appears from the alley covered in blood, he is tall with black hair and a gigantic body.

"Your my junior dont order me around Amon. Fine let the little dog have a treat."

"Come on finish your report."

Mado turns and begins walking away.

"Oh.. Have this. I'm bored of it anyway, plus I must got a brand new one."

He tosses a briefcase over his side and it lands at my feet, skidding to a stop.

This is.

A quinque.

Amon looks at me.

"Hey kid, dont play with that thing. Just because Mado treats them like toys doesnt mean you should, your best off taking that back to the office and turning it into requsitions, only investigators should have them and use them."

I give him a light thumbs up and pick the briefcase up.

Turn it into requsiitions?

Suck my taint I'm keeping this thing its fucking cool!

After the first class investigator and his tag along are long gone I click the button on the briefcase.

Steam rolls off of it and and in my hand a long single edged sword manifests, it has no guard and a short hilt that could barely fit two hands.

The bottom edge is serrated and the rest is razor sharp, the blade itself is dark black with shades and hues of blue and purple. The hilt is wrapped in a grey leather.

There is nothing really special about it other than that it looks sharp as fuck.

"Oh ho, did my special boy get a new toy?"

That bitch.

--

She is still after me when all this time has passed?

Rize jumps down from a nearby building and catches herself with 4 long red appendages, she sucks them back up and stares at me.

She licks her lips and tips her glasses up.

I need to end this fast.

I launch towards her and she makes no attempt to dodge.

I grip her by throat and slam her to the ground.

"Nyagh! I love when you hold me down!"

"SHUT UP YOU CRAZY BITCH! REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU!"

"Ooh. That you would kill me, scarface?"

I grip her throat but It doesnt budge.

Her kagune slaps me and I feel my body deeply slam into a wall.

"Last time I was injured. I wont play this time my precious. You will be mine forever!"

As I go to activate my kagune I stop myself as someone yells out.

"HEY! It's the binge eater!"

A man in a white trenchcoat runs down the street with a whip in his hand, behind him a girl in some weird ass cosplay medieval thingy with a straight sword runs towards me.

"Its the newbie AA guy. He got ambushed by that psycho ghoul!"

The man with the whip who I assume to be a 1st class investigator lashes out at Rize who blocks the attacks easily

"YOU FUCKERS RUINED MY SPECIAL MOMENT! IM GOING TO KILL YOU!"

Rizes face begins to get covered in red veins and her kagune begins pulsating.

"Shit I dont know if I can take her, I only became promoted recently."

He looks towards me.

"CALL BACKUP!"

The girl picks me up and places my back against the wall and let's me get my bearings as Rize battles the whitecoat.

"SIR THERE IS NO BACKUP!"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN!"

He screams out, as Rizes kagune slaps against his whip.

"ANOTHER GHOUL ATTACK HAPPENED IN THE 7TH WARD"

"SHIT!"

Ah.

I need to help, but she is way stronger than I remember.

GODAMNIT!

"Hey uh."

She glances at my name tag.

"Sebastian stay with me, my senior is strong I know he can defeat her but he needs my help. So I need you to run!"

"Run.. Haha. I dont do that."

[Use Temporary Premium Summon ticket?]

Yes DO IT!

"RIZE, MY VACATION! WONT BE FUCKED UP!"

[Temporary summon Akaza]

[14:59]

A small man with pale white skin, red orange hair and blue tribal tatoos appears from the rooftops.

"Dont worry. I got this HAHAHAH!"

The 1st class investigator looks in fear.

"Another Ghoul! SHIT!"

Akaza jumps down in a blur and before I can perceive what he is doing Rize is sent slamming into a brick wall, she pukes up blood and coughs out chunks.

"Time to get out of here!"

White trenchcoat runs for his life. The girl looks at me.

"I'm sorry.. Sometimes you have to save yourself and carrying you would slow us down."

A small tear forms in her eye and she sprints away.

Well I guess that was a thing that happened.

"Akaza, stop for a second."

"K boss."

I begin hobbling towards Rize, clutching my abdomen.

"Ugh *splat* that thing is not a ghoul. Who the fuck-"

Before she can finish I punch her in the face.

She cries out in pain.

"What would it take for you to leave me alone, and me not to kill you right now."

My Kagunes pop out of my shoulders and grip into Rize, planting her in place so she is forced to look me in the eyes.

"I- I.. You are too insatiable.. Its like an addiction, even right now. I LOVE IT!"

"Ok im killing you."

I shape my left kagune into a sharp point and get ready to plunge it into her stomach.

"PLEASE! I will leave you alone.. Just.. Give me a piece of your clothing."

I stop drilling the kagune and retract it.

I take a little slice off my red tie and place it in her bound hand.

Iet go of her and she begins laughing maniacally.

"With me forever!"

She holds it to her nose and begins moaning like a deer in heat, her face glows pink.

"Ah, So close!"

She looks up at me and smiles.

"My special boy.. Thank you. What is your name ?"

"Sebastian."

"A foreigner agha! Even better."

She begins hobbling away from me, she clutches the tie piece in her hand.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank youuu~"

"What now boss?"

Akaza stands with his arms to his hips.

"Uh. You can go home."

"Um Ok. That was easy."

Akaza smiles and then disappears.

I turn the sword back into a briefcase and begin walking home.

--

--

I arrive to the apartment block and drop the report into the mailbox.

I'm going to bed.

[AN]

Chapterly song suggestion: Wolf Totem - The Hu.