Chapter 15 Into the Darkness (15)(Choices)(1)(R18)

Author note

Character Map

"X"=Loid Orcus(Protagonist)

"(X)"=Loid Orcus (Strong inner thought)

°_X_°=Deus Ex Makina(Soul Artifact)

[X]=Written on something(Grey Board)

____________________________________________

The memories rushed to my head causing me on pain stop

But-

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#################################XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX"

I rather be tormented by the pain that I suffered before this than this indescribable gruesome unbearable terrible pain I suffer right now

"XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX#####################!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Pain that torments not the body nor mind even my spirit and soul

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#################################XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX"

Pain tormenting all of it and beyond

"XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX#####################!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"(My dear little siblings, my dear little brother and sisters, my dear little Ethan and Mary, Sister Helia, Sister Rena, My beloved family is)"

"NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"(NO!!!, THIS IS NOT TRUE, THAT IS A LIE, FALSE, NOT POSSIBLE, IMPOSSIBLE, IT CANT BE, IT CAN NOT BE, BUT-)"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

(PUNCH)

"(MY DEAR LITTLE BROTHERS AND SISTERS)"

(PUNCH)

"(ETHAN)"

(CLAW)

"(MARY)"

(CLAW)

(BITE)

"(SISTER HELIA)"

(BITE)

"(SISTER RENA)"

As I think of them, I inflict harm on myself

I punch myself to the point of losing all my teeth in my mouth, to the point the whole face bleeds blood, to the point of swelling of

all flesh and crushing my eye

I claw myself to the point where all flesh that could claw reap off, to the point some of them already revealing bones from the flesh rip off

I bite myself to the point of ripping off all of my fingers and toes, to the point where all flesh could bite be ripped off

But still not enough to overtake this indescribable pain I felt, but not even a fraction of this indescribable pain had been overtaken by this physical pain making it futile

"My World"

I murmur as I scrape my hair with its flesh and bleed

"My life"

I mutter as I scrape my Chest flesh with my nails

"My Spirit"

I say as I scrape deeper into my flesh digging more flesh and blood

"My SOUL!!!"

I shout as I Scrape more flesh and blood and dig deeper into my chest and flesh and blood gush out

"All I have!!!"

Scraping deeper

"All I had!!!"

Digging deeper

"All I am!!!"

Deeper

"GONE"

Flesh and Blood Gush out as it has been ripped off revealing Chest bones Lungs and the heart

(Squash)Pierce)

With my two hands, pierce my chest and take a hold of my beating heart, and stop it beating by crushing it

(Squash)Crush)

With this, My sight that had gone hazy cause of my grief cleared out, my ears ringing loudly cause of disbelief hushed down, and my rapid breathing caused by loss calmed down

My cleared vision goes dark, My hushed hearing goes silenced, and My calmed breathing goes breath it last

I died

But despite that, the indescribable pain didn't disappear and doomed me even in my next life

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

°_Soul_Artifact_Deus Ex Makina_

has_turn_online_°

°_Complication_has_been_detected_in_

operation_of_the_Artifact_°

°_Searching_Complication_in_operation_of_

the_Artifact_°

°_Comlication_has_been_found_°

°_The_integrated_host_had_died_°

°_Analyzing_and_Unraveling_Possible_

Measures_to_Solution_the_Complication_

that_been_detected_°

°_Proposing_Solution_°

°The_Used_and_now_Unusable_Ultimate_

Soul_Skill_Samsara_will_be_dismantled_and_be_reuse_to_craft_Soul_Skill_

Quasi Samsara_to_restore_the_host_°

°The_Proposal_has_been_review_and found_to_be_doable_and_been_accepted_°

°Processing_the_Proposed_Solution_°

°Solution_has_been_processed°

°_Applaying_Soul_Skill_Quasi Samsara_

to_the_host_°

°_Soul_Skill_Quasi Samsara_

has_been_applied_to _the_host_°

°_Soul_Skill_Quasi Samsara_has_been_

activated

°_Activating_Soul_Skill_Quasi Samsara_°

°_The_host_has_been_restored_°

°_The_Complication_has_been_solve_°

°_Soul_Artifact_Deus Ex Makina_

has_turn_offline_°

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"....."

I hear something but my mind is not in a clear state to comprehend just what happened

Laid in the white space, I see a devasted badly damaged corpse, no my corpse in front of my eyes laying just beside of me

But I didn't ask questions about how and what and pull my new body to stand

Standing, I look at my previous body now a devastated corpse, and come near it and stomp to crush its pelvis so one of the legs be cut off

Time passed, and the pelvis broke and one of my previous bodies, now corpse, legs torn off

I scrape the flesh of the turned leg until the whole femur of the leg shows up

I tore off the femur from its legs and came near to the corpse that has leg torn off and smashed the corpse

I did this not because of out of spite and to relieve some displeasure but because this way the femur will be easily broken in two especially when you smash it to the head where the head is

Finally after many attempts, and the femur broke into two and with its broken ends were sharp point

With this, I use the sharp end to point it to my stomach and commit seppuku or pierce my stomach

Desiring the relief of death

I died

But it didn't come and the indescribable pain didn't end and doomed me even in my next next life

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

°_Soul_Artifact_Deus Ex Makina_

has_turn_ online_°

°_Complication_has_been_detected_in_

operation_of_the_Artifact_°

°_Searching_the_Complication_in_operation_of_the_Artifact_°

°_Complication_has_been_found_°

°_The_integrated_host_had_died_°

°_Analyzing_and_Unraveling_Possible_

Measures_to_Solution_the_Complication_

that_been_detected_°

°_Solution_has_been_found_°

°_Soul_Skill_Quasi Samsara_has_been_

activated

°_Activating_Soul_Skill_Quasi Samsara_°

°_The_host_has_been_restored_°

°_The_Complication_has_been_solve_°

°_Soul_Artifact_Deus Ex Makina_

has_turn_offline_°

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Laid in white space, I open my eyes, Laid between me are two previous me in corpse

One badly and devastatingly damaged corpse to the top of its head to the soles of its feet as if it had been assaulted and attacked with all violence intended to inflict on this corpse as if a group of people feasts to impose extreme violence with all ill intent to just make this corpse look like this if i just didn't know who corpse this is and how this been done just to deny the harsh truth and hard reality and struggle to escape the unbearable and intolerable pain

While the other one is knelling as it shows a good posture of committing seppuku or as it pierces its stomach with its guts, If this is not me, I might shiver and admire it bravery and courage of this corpse for executing this act if I just don't know who this corpse belongs to and how this act is been executed to escape from hard reality and relieving oneself from the suffering of the harsh truth and hard reality through the relief of death

But I did not blame them as I also bear the same burden and pain as them and understand their action

As such, I pull myself and lift myself to stand and look at the previous bodies of mine

No question went through to my head and not even a question to think of as their only one thing on my head as of right now

I came near to the corpse that had a bone pierced in its stomach and pulled out the bone just then blood gushed out and my previous gut rushed out with the stomach with its inner organs scrap like intensive and kidney there is inside of the place of the pierced bone I pulled

Nonetheless, without battling an eye to just what happened, without flinching, held the pulled bone with two hands and pointed its sharp end to my chest and making myself fall in front resulting in the bone being fall and staked to the ground as my body follow falling and being stake by the sharp end of the bone and been stake my chest as it pierces through the heart reaching to the back of my back as i been impaled, blood trickle to the bone that pierce my self and as the blood trailed down to the pierced self, I felt all sensation leaving with my consciousness

I die

But the pain didn't leave as to followed me wherever I are even death couldn't release me from it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

°_Soul_Artifact_Deus Ex Makina_

has_turn_ online_°

°_Complication_has_been_detected_in_

operation_of_the_Artifact_°

°_Searching_Complication_in_operation_of_

the_Artifact_°

°_Comlication_has_been_found_°

°_The_integrated_host_had_died_°

°_Calculating_and_Unraveling_Possible_

Measures_to_Solution_the_Complication_

that_been_detected_°

°_Solution_has_been_found_°

°_Soul_Skill_Quasi Samsara_has_been_

activated_°

°_Activating_Soul_Skill_Quasi Samsara_°

°_The_host_has_been_restored_°

°_The_Complication_has_been_solve_°

°_Soul_Artifact_Deus Ex Makina_

has_turn_offline_°

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Again

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

°_Soul_Artifact_Deus Ex Makina_

has_turn_ online_°

-

°_Soul_Artifact_Deus Ex Makina_

has_turn_offline_°

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Again

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

°_Soul_Artifact_Deus Ex Makina_

has_turn_ online_°

-

°_Soul_Artifact_Deus Ex Makina_

has_turn_offline_°

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And again and do it countless and numerous times

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

°_Soul_Artifact_Deus Ex Makina_

has_turn_ online_°

°_Complication_has_been_detected_in_

operation_of_the_Artifact_°

°_Searching_Complication_in_operation_of_

the_Artifact_°

°_Comlication_has_been_found_°

°_The_integrated_host_had_died_°

°_Calculating_and_Unraveling_Possible_

Measures_to_Solution_the_Complication_

that_been_detected_°

°_Solution_has_been_found_°

°_Soul_Skill_Quasi Samsara_has_been_

activated_°

°_Activating_Soul_Skill_Quasi Samsara_°

°_The_host_has_been_restored_°

°_The_Complication_has_been_solve_°

°It_been_analyze_and_reviewed_that_the_

complication_will_continue_and_not_end_if_the_cause_is_not_been_found_and_be_

solution_°

°Searching_the_cause_that_resulting_the_

complication_°

°the_cause_has_been _ found_°

°It_been_detected_that_the_host_mind_is_

unstable_causing_the_host_to_do_actions_

that_resulting_such_complication_°

°_Analyzing_and_Unraveling_Possible_

Measures_to_Solution_the_Complication_

that_been_detected_°

°_Proposing_Solution_°

°_Using_the_fragments_of_dismantled_ Ultimate_Soul_Skill_Samsara_and_craft_the_Mind_Skill_Quasi Nirvana_to_stabilize_the_ host_°.

°The_Proposal_has_been_found_and_been_

reviewed_to_be_doable_and_been_

accepted_°

°Processing_the_Proposed_Solution_°

°Solution_has_been_processed°

°_Applaying_Soul_Skill_Quasi Nirvana_

to_the_host_°

°_Mind_Skill_Quasi Nirvana_

has_been_applied_to _the_host_°

°_Mind_Skill_Quasi Nirvana_has_been_

activated

°_Activating_Mind_Skill_Quasi Nirvana_°

°_The_host_has_been_stabilized_°

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Laid in the white space, I did not raise myself to stand up and remain laid in the white space and did not commit the previous action and just lay in there and staring above and stare at the vastness of the white space and emptily just stare at it

No emotion and no ego felt, just my consciousness and the indescribable pain that was strangely painless but surely there to be felt

With this emptiness, a thought, no, a hopeful and baseless thoughts emerge that make me hope as I am just like any other humans

Paralyze and Cannot move forward without hope even if it is baseless, unfounded, groundless hope just made up to think and move for the future to continue

Like in the 5 stages of grief, I bargain

"(It just couldn't be me that receive this shit but nonetheless an offer to go another world right, they say I die because of the accident they cause, maybe they receive the same offer as me, no they surely receive it, if it is then what I doing right now is...!)"

"A WASTE OF TIME!!!"

While I'm here doing useless and futile actions, those kids must be crying because of the unknown situation they are in but I am sure they calm down and be transferred to another world but

"That itself is a BIG PROBLEM!!!"

While I'm here doing nothing, those kids and Ethan and Mary might be in trouble or in danger in the unknown world they know nothing about there are now in while

"HERE AND NOT THERE TO REASSURE THEM!!!"

I'm sure that if, no, I'm sure that Big Sister Helia and Big Sister Rena are on the way and already transferred there to reassure and protect the children while

"LOID ORCUS!, SON OF YIN B. ORCUS AND ARIEL B. ORCUS!!!, BIG BROTHER OF THE CHILDREN OF THE GREEN GABLE ORPHANAGE!!!, BROTHER AND FAMILY WHO THOSE THAT CARE FOR YOU AND YOU CARE!!!, WHAT A DISAPPOINTING YOU ARE TO DO NOTHING AND CONTINUE TO DO USELESS FUTILE ACTION HERE MEANWHILE THEY ARE THERE STRUGGLING!!!!!!! AREN'T YOU ASHAMED!!!!!"

I shout as I insult myself

After, I swiftly and immediately got up and looked around the white space filled with my shameful corpse and there I saw what I must see

"THERE!!!"

What I put and focus sight on are the grey board that I greatly feared before but right now with all my being run to it as if possess even not caring what I step on like guts, organ, blood and bones even my previous body and face, continue to run like mad

If someone is watching me, they must be laughing right now and thinking 'What irony that is' and even if there I would not care even if I crawled and squirmed just to do what I must do

I arrive at the front of the grey that I previously greatly feared but now greatly seek to the point of madness and take a hold of it and seize the board as if, no, I'm not letting it go no matter what but

(Pop!)

The board disappeared as it popped and for a moment I too thought that my hope disappeared and despair but out of nowhere

(Pop)

The Grey board reappeared with my hope too and the board appeared more bigger and wider unlike before and also my hope

My board is big enough to reach the top of my head to the sole of my feet and the board is also wide enough to cover my sight and written there is three choices written in Bold and Big letters

[Transmigration-Be transferred to the another world with your body as you are right now as your vessel]

[Summon-Be a summoned by a summoner to the another world as your body as you are right now as your vessel]

[Reincarnation-Be reincarnated by your own chosen or created vessel to go into another world]

With these three as my choices, My mind conclude that to achieve my goal to immediately to be there with them as fast as possible so I choose

[Transmigration]

But

[It has been analyzed and reviewed that your current vessel that posses as you right now are not adequate enough to be transferred as such it cannot be grated and done and please redo your choices with this as consideration]

"Fuck!, are you saying my body is inadequate and unfit?!!"

My curse slips after I read it for as I'm in a state of hurry and worry for them as I crazily contemplate the two remaining choices

"(OK, let's think about the remaining choices)"

For the summon, I understand that I will be summoned by a summoner to go to another world as I am right now but what I worry about is after that

If we are being positive and optimistic, then the chances are I being summoned as a hero to another world with the purpose of helping their endeavor like helping the world or saving the world or fighting for them and be treated well like the web novel I read although there are ominous trend in the web that the protagonist will be betrayed and go and live for revenge(Example:Failure Frame, Arifureta, The Rising of the Shield Hero and the like)

And if we are being negative and pessimistic, then the chances are I'm being summoned like a summoned beast like summoned would in web novels to fight to dead and serve and unable to go against the summoner or I have been summoned but forced to sign a slave contract to follow their every demand not able to resist but the previous grey board say there will be compensation to give to me and being optimistic it might be cheats like in the web, novels at such I will just choose a suitable skill that could help me from this problem

"(Worst case scenario ha)"

As for the reincarnation, when you think about reincarnation you think of rebirth and being reborn as a baby again, and that is already a no for me as my goal is to be there with them as fast as possible at such I bet and risk it all and choose

[Summon]

But

[It has been analyzed and reviewed that your current vessel that posses as you right now are not adequate enough to be summoned as such it cannot be grated and done and please redo your choices with this as consideration]

Deja vu?

______________________________________________

(AOT)

I'm exhausted and famished right at such I'm going to sleep and eat like a dragon for long time(about one week)

And good morning good noon and good afternoon good evening and good midnight and already go to sleep and bye bye

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(it's look like a rope but it z sleeping sound)