Chapter 5 : Start of a 10 year vision : what does it mean to be a hero ?
After coming home from the hospital, my mom cooked my favorite food : lasagna. We laughed and my parents talked about their Quirk awakening when they were at my age.
An hour later, i was in front of my window, looking at the night sky. I laughed at myself, huh.. "mom" well you could say i adapted to this world faster than i thought, i didn't feel weird calling Orochi and Hana my parents, although they were around the same age when i died. I never felt anything except filial love, maybe God had a hand in this to smooth over my new life. I couldn't be more grateful.
Who never wished to go back in time and have a headstart in life ? I certainly did, and i will use the most of it.
The story truly begins at U.A, i don't really care about the small incident with the sludge monster. So 10 years from now, that is when the action begins. 10 years is a long time, i can get easily lost.
Preparing myself is a priority, i thought how i will spend these years while looking at the stars. It's weird, i understood that i was in anime world, seeing people having superpowers or heroes with weird costumes but its the little things like how i can still see the stars in a city that should be emitting loads of light pollution.
This world is different than the one i thought it would be, my existence brought two major consequences : my parents.
Mostly my dad, Orochi Miyamoto who is the top 3 hero known as the Swordking. I used to hear that children admire their parents when they are young but it slowly goes away when the kid grows up as he understands his parents are just human like the rest. I don't think i will stop admiring my dad. I never saw him in action but the amount of videos that can be found in HeroTube, Heroddit and the thousands of fan pages to his effigy are a statement to his power and his personality.
How could i explain you what does it mean to be a top 3 hero ? All Might is the personalization of peace, "the Symbol of peace". A man whose power is a deterrent to any evil intention. A man who saves people with an undying smile and a back wide enough that he carries the country's safety by his own. An Atlas of modern times.
Endeavour, the top 2 hero, the incarnation of flames. A man whose misguided obsession still allowed to be the hero with the most resolved cases in the country. A life dedicated solely to surpass All Might and become number 1. Is he a hero ? A man who beats his wife due to his own insecurities and rape her to give birth to children after realizing that he isn't enough. This kind of man is not a hero, the innocent lives saved are paradoxically only the side effect of this man's ambition.
And most importantly, the top 3 hero known as the Sword King and my father. A figure just as Omnipresent as All Might and Violent to criminals as Endeavour. A sword isn't meant for crowd control nor peaceful surrending. A sword is meant to cut, whether it is an arm, a leg. Now, a hero can't kill villains unless "force majeure". So how does a man who is the strongest swordsman remain a hero ? I couldn't understand at first, until i saw the videos. Imagine you were a villain, your life had a series of events that lead you to believe that it was necessary to rob a bank or murder people for the sake of it. You don't do evil without thinking about the consequences, what if i encounter a a policeman or even worse .. a hero ? The immediate answer is to escape, if the path is blocked, you choose a hostage. Now that's logical, until you meet a hero who stands away from you and then before you can blink, you have a sword up your neck and you can see your blood slowly dropping on it.
The emotion that you feel is Fear. Your brain can't comprehend fast enough, that escaping is not possible. You pee yourself, while looking at the eyes of a man who will not hesitate to cut you down if you make one more step.
That is what my dad is to villains, the Symbol of Fear.
Heh, that's f*cking badass.
10 years to establish the foundation that can surpass my father. God, i have so much work.
First, i need to choose what kind of man i want to become and to strive to reach that ideal. This is the hardest thing i ever done, i failed so miserably in my past life. I swear i won't give up in this one.
Because failing is natural, its part of being a human being. We all fail at something in our lives. Failing should be shunned or frowed upon, but its giving up. To give up one's ambition, to give up one's dream is the most shameful thing you can do. That's the true failure.
A hero ? Do i really care about others so much that i want to make it my life's vocation ?
I remember bits of my old life, i wasn't the kindest man but i tried to be good whenever i felt there was an opportunity for me to have a meaningful impact. I remember happy smiles when we finished to build a school in Mali or when we brought school furnitures to kids in the cold moutains in the Rif in Morocco with my college club. I remember.
It was when i understood that being kind is not completely selfless. You have this warm feeling in your heart when you think that you actually helped someone. That small impact on someone's life who the rest of the world didn't care that much about, makes you feel better about yourself. Posting a story about a war in a faraway country like Yemen or donating to the Red Cross, it doesn't mean shit. It felt more rewardful to me, to give food to a homeless man outside of my house.
I loved seeing with my own eyes the positive impact i could make one someone else.
Is this why people in this world decide to be a hero ? I don't know, but it will be my reason.
To do good for selfish reasons, now that's something i can relate with.
I chuckled, i had discussions with my friends when i was still at college. Everyone did at some point, the most answered question in a group of geek friends : If you were a superhero, who would you be?
For me, villains were much cooler but actually being one is not something i can do. Hurting someone in actual life is fucking harder than it seems. I mean, i was born in a family with religious values, i grew up with my parents encouraging me to not create problems for them, to settle conflicts peacefully even when my pride was at cost. The only time, i fought in middle school. I was pushed forcefully, as in to provoke me, to show what i was capable of. The guy was a douche, not evil, just a prebuscent kid who thought that is what an "alpha male" does and this is how he gets the girls. I didn't think about my parents teachings, i punched him. I still remember his shocked face, that an actual fight would never happen. We got separated as soon as i landed the punch, nobody said anything to the supervisors. Thank god, because they would found me with a trembling leg.
I was afraid of what i did, of the possible consequences of it. That being suspended would close every door for my future. It took me a full hour to calm my leg. I thought about why i shouldn't be, that everything would be fine but my leg still trembled.
Will i be to do it in this life ? To actually fight someone, worse to kill somebody ? I read about those MC's that could kill like it was nothing. I never killed anyone in my life, if even punching somebody got me shook than i don't want to imagine what killing someone would do to me.
Nevertheless, i still want to be a hero. I want to see innocent lives staying alive because of me, to see this micro-action who steered someone's destiny into a different path. I don't care about their gratitude, the knowledge is enough. People can be ungrateful son of bitches, i know i was one too.
The freedom to steer my own destiny and the destiny of others towards a better tomorrow.
A hero is not someone who you need to care of, to protect, to worry about. People have more than enough things to worry about in their day to day lives. The existence of a hero is calming one, its someone who takes the extra mile so that you won't have to.
Thinking about it my mom is a hero too, maybe even more than my dad. She doesn't fight, but when your child is being operated on, leaving him to my mom is a bigger relief than knowing the hero in your neighborhood will fight common criminals.
Is it necessary for me to fight ? I can be a first aid responder and save as many lives maybe even more than being a hero. I could teleport instantly so that no one will ever die in the road to the hospital.
Naaah, if this wasn't an anime world that i followed in my previous life maybe, but no i need to fight the fears that i let to be ingrained in me by beating the shit out villains. I wouldn't feel satisfied otherwise.
10 years to make my ambition stronger, to fuel my will to act by overcoming my fear. I promise to myself that I shall not miss one day of it.
I let my mind wander in Morpheus realm, tomorrow is the day i start training.