pat.reon: Keanu_Eugene (30+ chapters ahead)
"Iida was one of my best friends, and it's my fault he died," Deku says.
It was now after lunch, the first Monday after their internships, and he was sitting opposite Midnight on a couch in the teacher's lounge. He wipes his tears and sniffles as she carefully takes notes.
"What do you mean it's your fault?" Midnight asks.
"I knew something was wrong," Deku confesses. "I felt it, I wanted to ask him more, about his brother, about how he was feeling. But he'd always smile and tell me he'll be ok. But he always looked like he was angry inside, like he needed someone to save him from that anger...he was my friend, and I didn't save him."
"So you feel guilty because you think you could have done more?"
"I could have done more. If I just acted he would still be here, he'd still be alive. And I had another chance. a second chance at Hosu."
"Gran Torino and I were on a train moving past the city when the attack happened. I knew I had to go help, that my friend was in trouble and if I didn't help something bad would happen. I knew he needed me to save him, but I couldn't go..."
"Hmm, before you said you 'didn't' save him, now you say 'couldn't', what changed?"
"We...we were on a bullet train. I was about to force the doors open when Gran Torino tackled me... he told me that if anything like that happened the train would stop, and everyone on it would be stuck in Hosu with the villains that were attacking.
He told me that I had to do what would keep the most people safe...I hated it. I hated it so much! I knew I had to save him but I just...I just gave up and rode the train to Shibuya.
And after all of that Horizon showed up and barely anyone got hurt!
He dealt with the Nomus before they got anywhere near the tracks! I could have gone and saved Iida and everyone on the train would have been fine!
I let my friend die!"
Deku was desperately panting at the end of his rant, clutching his chest as Midnight slides the box of tissues closer to him.
"What you feel is entirely normal for Heroes Midoriya," Midnight says.
"Really?" he says after wiping his tears. "Other heroes feel like this?"
"Of course. The entire basis of our profession is asking 'what if?' What if a villain attacks? What if someone gets into an accident? What if nothing happens?
Because of this, we do have to make the choices that will protect the most people, but sometimes that choice means we know there are some people that we aren't saving at the moment.
There will always be people in the world that need saving but we can't help them, and no hero can save everyone in the world. Not even All Might.
But in situations like what you were in you also have to consider the possibilities. Instead of judging your past self based on what you know now, consider the information you had at the time.
What if Horizon wasn't there? What if the Nomus did make it to the track after you stopped the train? What if those people got put in danger and Iida was fine?
I know this may seem cruel, but you made the right choice with the information you had. Adding more people to the list of potential victims is never the right choice.
This is one of the most difficult lessons any Hero can ever have the misfortune to learn, I just wish you didn't have to learn it so early in your career."
A pregnable silence fills the room as Deku considers everything she just said. But he couldn't get over it. He couldn't forgive himself for not acting, for ignoring his instincts, for letting his friend die.
"But what if I was strong enough?" Deku asks. "What if I could save everyone? What if I can protect all my friends in the future?"
"What exactly are you thinking Midoriya?" Midnight asks, raising a brow at the frustrated look on his face.
"That I'll train harder. If I had full control of my Quirk I could have saved everyone, my friend would still be alive. He died because I'm so weak... it's all my fault---"
"It's not your fault."
"He died because I was weak!" Deku freezes, then takes a moment to calm down just a bit. "Sorry for yelling."
"I just want to be stronger. Strong enough that I never have to choose. That I can save everyone. That I never have to ignore my instincts again...because I'm sorry if it makes me a bad Hero, but I'll never be able to live with myself if I know someone needs saving and don't do everything to save them..."
Giving him a look of pity and sympathy Midnight sighs. "An admirable goal, but if you're sticking to it then you have a lot of work to do, Deku," she makes sure to call him by his Hero Name this time, managing to get a small smile on his lips.
"I'll keep everyone safe."
"Good, just don't put everything on your shoulder to the point that you subconsciously view your friend and peers as useless, alright? Things are easier if you have people supporting you. Your Quirk is strong, but don't get the idea that you can do anything and don't need anyone. We've got one person like that here, and that's more than enough."
"I promise I won't."
"Good, now head back to class and send me Horizon..."
One minute later as Midnight is finishing up her notes on Deku Horizon appears on the couch opposite her.
Without swapping for any object. He no longer needs to swap to move himself about within UA's main campus since he's been constantly using his Quirk here for weeks.
"Horizon, how have you been?" Midnight asks, completely used to him abruptly warping about campus.
"Great actually," he leans back against the couch, getting more comfortable. "Can you just mark this therapy thing as complete so I can go?"
"You don't think you need any guidance."
"Well I'm not a pussy, so no. Plus, are you even qualified?"
"I'm a certified counselor, just like Hound Dog, but he's more for disciplinary matters. This requires a woman's touch."
"All I heard is that I'm still the only doctor in this room."
Midnight sighs, "Nezu says it's mandatory, that means you have to stay and talk to me."
"I don't 'have' to do anything, but fine."
"Alright, how about we just get to the point here, since you clearly hate the idea of talking about your feelings. How do you feel about Iida? Especially since you were in Hosu when it happened."
"Heroes die every day, it happens. And as for me being in Hosu, that doesn't mean I knew he was there," Horizon shrugs.
"So you don't feel anything? Someone you spent the past month getting to know is gone and you're...fine?"
"I barely even knew him, and he certainly didn't like me, I'll be fine."
"Really, and you think this is normal?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well... you're the only one of your classmates that hasn't been affected by this event, don't you think that's odd?"
"No," he shakes his head. "I'm used to being the only person in the room that isn't some pathetic weeping bitch. You just can't recognize that I'm perfect because you're so used to dealing with trash..."
'Wow...now I see why almost everyone complained about him...and I need to talk to her about the kind of men she's attracted to...' Midnight thinks as she takes some notes.
"Do you ever think that this attitude of yours can cause problems in your life?"
"Well, your view on things and people is extremely callous, and some might even say toxic."
"Why would I care what people think?"
Midnight sighs, "how about we start from where you learned this, what were your parents like?"
Horizon sits up and leans forward, voice becoming a low growl, "mmmm, don't go there."
Midnight sees her opening, realizing that his emotions only truly showed when this topic came up, so she decided to push her luck. Unlike at the sports festival, he couldn't simply attack her here, this was her chance to understand him better and help him become a kind and caring hero.
"I'm just concerned for you. From what I can see they instilled in you some problematic views. Perhaps they didn't show you enough affection?" she sees his hands gripping his pants, a good sign that she's pushing all the right buttons.
'He's probably two seconds from going on a rant about how perfect they were, giving me all the information I need.'
"I'm quite fine with affection, they taught me perfectly," he growls out.
"Really? Because with the way you act I imagine it will be difficult for that goal of yours. You confessed to the entire world that you want a family one day, kids of your own. But do you think anyone wants to be in a relationship with someone so cold and uncaring, or much less have children with you?"
"And what the hell would you know about any of that, you think I want to be with someone like you?"
"Oh please," Midnight raises her hands to show off her chest and fluff her hair, giving him her most seductive look. "What man wouldn't want a woman like this? You'd be lucky to have me..."
As she says that Midnight notices Horizon suddenly gets relaxed, comfortably leaning back against the couch and putting one hand up on the backrest. And Midnight suddenly feels like she went from being in a room with an erupting volcano to sitting in front of a hungry tiger.
"Well not exactly, I mean you're just not that type of woman.
Oh don't get me wrong, almost all men would be lining up to fuck you, personally, you're exactly what I'm looking for when I'm traveling and only staying in places for a week or two.
Atleast to the public you are...that's the idea, right? That you're just another dumb bimbo trying to find horny men. The cum rag that Pro Heroes pass around behind the scenes, right?
So yeah I'd have you for as many nights as it takes to get bored...but only for the nights.
I'd never parade you around to my friends. And I'd certainly never let you meet my parents if they were still around. You'd never be my girlfriend, and you'd never get a ring...just like you don't have one now? And you probably never will."
Midnight keeps her composure, letting him get it all out and taking careful note of what he says and how he says it. "Some women don't want to get married."
"More like you just can't even if you tried," Horizon says. "I mean who would want you? You're supposedly the whore of our nation's Heroes, nobody wants to be the guy with the wife a hundred people have fucked. And you're already 32.
You're tits and ass are either sagging or about to. Your face is gonna be wrinkled soon. You bet everything on sex appeal and destroyed your future, and it's all about to run out.
Now no man will take you seriously, you'll probably never have kids. Your hero career will always be suppressed by the government because you're a horrible role model for your girls.
You're the definition of a leftover woman. You're gonna die alone, and before you die you'll already be forgotten.
Compared to that, I'm Horizon. Most valuable man in the world. I've got everything, I'm a miracle, I'm perfect. I never need to settle for less, I'll have all the women I want and all the kids I want to have.
And you would have lucky to even get a night with a man like me, because you'd never get more than being our toy for the night, and he'd certainly never consider making you anything with a title.
So remind me please...why the fuck do you think you're in a position to comment about how my parents raised me or how I'm living my future?"
He puts his other hand on the backrest of the couch and relaxes even further, waiting for her feeble reply.
Taking a deep breath Midnight releases a deep sigh and shakes her head. "Alright, this session is over, you can head back to class now..."
"That's the first useful thing that mouth has done all conversation," Horizon says before he warps back to class, leaving her alone in the room.
Midnight just rolls her eyes and begins jotting down notes, but as she gets to the last line.
Tears start falling onto the page.
Now alone her professional and stoic mask breaks, and all the things he said suddenly become infinitely more real.
Only seconds later she devolves into a weeping mess. And the last thing she wrote in her notes...
'Don't talk about his family...'