Gutting Catfish

Read and review and yadda yadda...

Pleasantries done?

Good

*CLEARS THROAT*

LET'S GET STARTED...

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I OWN NOTHING IN THIS FANFICTION EXCEPT FOR MY OCs. I DON'T OWN MUCH OF ANYTHING WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT...

Still on that building, Gynesis and Purple Heart continued their conversation from the last chapter. This time the Patron Goddess of Planeptune was standing beside the still-transformed exorcist. While the barely known male sat on the building's edge, holding his half-sheathed sword on his lap. I meant his red katana you heathans.

"So I'm a God you say? What does that even entail for me? Do I have to go look for a civilization to form?" Gynesis asked, snickering at himself on the 'civilization' comment as he looked down at his blade.

"I'm not too sure myself," Purple Heart answered with a confused shrug. Looking over the foreign Nation ahead of her, the woman took a deep breath and smiled, "Had you been a woman before touching that CPU Memory, I would've easily answered yes. Hell, I might've even tried helping, sounds like a fun little adventure to be honest. After all, it's been a while since defeating ASIC, I could do with one of those."

Somehow, Neptune managed to not only give Gynesis' question a serious answer, but finish answering without saying some meme from when your mom was still in high school. Did CFW Magic putting her in a BDSM hentai really do that much character development? Then again, she's still transformed so that could have something to do with it. Scratch that, a lot.

"I guess that's a 'no'," The new God sighed shaking his head, "Aren't there Goddess archives or something you have access to on these kinds of things? Surely I can't be the first of my kind, that's some main character shit."

"Usually in these kinds of situations, the main character ends up getting forced to use their new powers despite not knowing what they are within the first day of getting them, taking them out of their comfort zone and on some on-the-job training as to their uses." Milf- Purple Heart! Purple Heart pondered aloud, trying to figure out what the fuck is happening.

The new God was in the same boat, nodding in agreement as he silently went through the words hitting his now divine ears. As the Goddess next to him spoke, he was staring into his blade, eyes glazed as if entranced by it or something.

"That's a very good point," The exorcist finally spoke up, sheathing his blade and putting it away, "Hopefully I don't have to go through allat."

"As it stood before, the Main Character role was moved from myself to my sister. But now? That might be either split amongst not only my sister and I, but you as well," The Goddess continued, sounding a little sad on those last words, "Enough talk, let's get you to the Basilicom. Maybe Historire would get a better gauge on all this."

The air fell into a comfortable silence, the only two on the sky scraper mulling over the situation. Until a black sword sliced through the sky, landing and embedding itself inches away from the deep purple-haired man. Miraculously, said male didn't even flinch. But Planeptune's Patron Goddess did, albeit only a little.

Not even a second later, the once cloudless sky had become starkly overcast. The ambient static of the city below drowned out by the rolling thunder that began booming in the near distance. The sudden weather change taking over her attention, Purple Heart shot up into the sky in search of its cause.

"What?" Unfortunately, she came up empty-handed, causing her ask the nearest person in hopes they'd give an answer. If only he'd heard her over all that thunder...

Not done with its schizophrenic antics, the sky continued changing, shifting closer and closer to spawning a lightning storm in less than a minute if it kept its current rate going. Which won't be too good for the two deities since they're on the tallest building in the city at the moment.

All of this only causing the Goddess to narrow her eyes in focus as she persued her search of the culprit. Looking not only at the sky, but on the roof itself at this point. She was swiveling all around, calmly scouting her vicinity for any kind of clue as to why the sky got so angry so quickly.

Until she'd catch the blackened blade that stood next to Gynesis in the corner of her eye. When she did, it was emitting a faint spark of blue electricity. To her it looked as if the weapon was calling forth the weather pattern's change to itself. Something she deduced damn-near instantly.

And that's when it finally happened, a massive bolt of crackling blue began blitzing down on the displaced duo. With Gynesis being so close to the lightning rod, there's no way he wasn't getting hit by the natural phenomenon headed his way.

On top of that, the new God didn't look like he was getting ready to move an inch. In fact, he looked none-the-wiser the what was currently coming crashing down from above.

With little time to plan her next move, Planeptune's Leader leaped forward and grabbed the man by the collar, pulling and jumping back upon getting a good grip on said article of clothing. Leaving the sword to harmlessly get struck by what it had called for.

Neptune knew not how big the new God's numbers were at that time, and decided against gambling his life on the chance he could tank a lightning strike. And guessing by the surprised gasp he let out from getting yanked like a chain, he was not fast enough to dodge said piece of falling plasma.

The lightning striking them so close was bright, so bright that it forced Neptune to slam her eyes shut to avoid going blind. The same went for Gynesis, although he didn't succeed too well, proven by his grunt of pain from the flash of lightning deleting his sight files for the next few seconds.

"You should love yourself, now!" A deep, male voice boomed forth from the sword upon contact, the voice coming from the sword itself.

Opening her eyes first, Purple Heart saw the features of a tanned blonde staring back at her with a lazy smile and covered in lighting from head to toe. Lightning that was quickly fading as the seconds ticked by. He was around six foot two in height, with glowing blue eyes and a creme shirt he most likely forgot to button up since it was open, and a matching beach pants.

If it wasn't clear before, it was now, this man was a resident of Leanbox. Not only a resident, but he was born and raised right here in Vert's Nation. There was no other way to explain that fashion sense... or lack thereof.

"Nah, nah, doh do meh dat big man, my treds rhell bess [Don't get me fucked up, I have good fashion sense]," The man retorted, looking up at nothing before locking eyes with the visiting deity, "Anywayz, wah a bess gyal like you doin with my bredda dey[Anyway, what's a good looking woman such as yourself doing with my friend]?"

"Bess what? Best buy?" Gynesis deadpanned his interjection, "And what kind of question is that to ask my Patron Goddess?"

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Memerdimension Neptunia: Checkmate Re;birth!

Planeptune's Basilicom; At the Same Time_

Purple Heart and her little sister were busy playing 4 Goddesses Online 3 on a Nepcord call. Lastation, Lowee, and Leanbox's Goddesses were all together for their Saturday night game-a-thon. Leanbox's Leader got to choose which game they were to play and her choice was obvious. And now the very same Goddess, with her class as DPS, was currently carrying her entire team on her back thanks to Planeptune's Goddess falling half asleep for the third time.

The only thing between this woman and Snoozeville was sheer willpower, which was a quickly Waning resource for her. She was folded like a pretzel on her couch at this point. Muscle memory and a faint gathering of her surroundings through the game's audio was how she managed to stay alive. Managing not only her healthbar, but her team's as well, all powered by her fingers geriatrically shifting her buttons and joysticks.

Unlike Neptune, Nepgear was locked in as best she could, making one question who's the supposed big sister yet again. Prime gaming position adopted, the red mage was trying her best to keep the shitters off of her sister's ass while spamming her more heavy-hitting spells on the Boss.

"You're up, Vert!" Between a rock and a hard place, it was the Candidate of Planeptune's turn to become the full DPS while their main damage dealer swapped to keep Purple Heart alive. A fool's errand with how much their second healer was taking unnecessary damage.

"Are you even paying attention, Neptune?!" That was until Lastation's leader got loud enough to snap the lilac-haired ally back to the waking world, a little tired of having her DPS's HP in the single digits for the past five minutes. On top of watching the closest support heal the furthest teammate for the sixth time, who was already at full HP thanks to their other support.

"Huh?!" Like a puppy shaken awake, Neptune quickly flew up from her Gamecube impression with a sharp gasp, shocked by the sudden spike in volume invading her ears through her cat-ear headphones. It would've been a surprise had if Black Heart wasn't the one who woke her.

"Ram and I are getting kinda low here! I'm sure Rom's got Uni covered!" Noire pointed out, hoping that audio cue from the pudding enjoyer was her acknowledging the situation.

Looking around with the panic of a Veteran after a door slam, what little focus Neptune had while asleep was completely gone. Replacing it was utter confusion as to where she was and what she was doing. Unfortunately, that was all the Boss needed to sneak the barely awakened Goddess with a stray beam attack. One-shotting not only her, but one of Lowee's twin Candidates as well. Leaving the team supportless from then on. Talk about bad luck!

"Dang it!" At that moment, every Nation bellowed from an outcry of frustration and anger. A raging shout escaped the lips of everyone in that raid right then and there, loud enough to echo throughout the lands for all to hear in comedic fashion.

If one were to have listened close enough, they might've even heard Blanc throw her controller to the wall. Followed up by a screech of pain from said plastic object ricocheting and smacking her right in the forehead.

"This raid's a bust!" Shouted the icy Goddess in a firey fit of rage, "No tank! No healer! And probably no damage since everyone'll be more focused trying to stay alive."

If there was any chance of Neptune sleeping before, that chance just became zero. With White Heart's voice booming through your ears like the game just told her a flat joke, you'd be wide awake too. 5-hour raid be damnmed.

"Now, now, Blanc, don't give up~" Interjected Green Heart, the calmest to speak so far, with a nurturing tone. "After all, it's not over yet!"

Only for her to outburst with determination. A determination to win! Or at least see the Raid to the end. Maybe if they all banded together, their collective efforts just might clutch the W.

"Yeah, Blanny! Don't let all that rage off your chest just yet!" Added Neptune with a cherry smile, feeling the infectious aura Green Heart was giving off and trying to harness it herself. Realizing her words when it was already too late, quite unfortunate. Perhaps there was a little bit of sleep still in that head of hers.

"Whoops. Heh, heh..." She scratched the back of her head with a nervous chuckle, hoping her friend didn't take her last words the wrong way.

The Nepcord call grew silent for a second, with Blanc gritting her teeth and audible snickers swiftly replacing the callouts that once dominated the VC.

"We wouldn't be down a tank if you just listened when Vert told to dodge the Boss's opening attack, ya know?" Black Sister spoke up past the snickers, making a callout for Ram to doge a surprise attack in the same breath.

"Blanc was just too busy being on her high horse, Uni. 'I can parry it! It'll give me half my ultimate charge!' Such brazen last words for Lowee's Goddess, now?" Vert giggled, barely evading a massive AOE in time,

"Too bad she couldn't parry that L," Neptune chirped.

"And now that same Goddess is laid out on the floor. Sprawled out as part of the landscape." Black Heart proclaimed, letting out a hearty laugh before almost losing her DPS's head to another sneak attack from the Raid Boss.

"That leaves one Loweean remaining," Observed Nepgear, taking out another horde of fodder so the others could focus fire the Boss.

Her twin sister may be down, but Ram is still kicking. More like casting seeing as she was a black mage.

Unfortunately for everyone there, Blanc was correct in calling the raid a bust. Because one by one, they fell like dominoes.

First to return to the Starter Townwas Noire, after getting targeted by the Boss for having the least HP out of the surviving Goddesses. Next was Ram, for the exact same reason.

After Lowee's representatives were sent back to the lobby, that left Lastation, Leanbox and Planeptune. Each of the three named Nations had one deity to their name in the Raid remaining. Except for Leanbox, they don't count since that Nation always had one diety. And with only needing one survivor of the party for everyone to reap the rewards, it was do or die.

Vert was bossed up from the jump, and yet she still went down next. She not only had the most skill, but remembered to have self-sustain on her lancer build, unlike her other party members. Which made when that very lancer got free tickets to a live Pop Smoke concert hit that much harder to the survivor's morale. But not without getting the Boss's HP so low his health bar was practically empty.

Clearly, the Raid Boss must've heard the blonde talking all that shit and took it personally. Because Vert could've sworn she heard it say "GG EZ" when she got those tickets to that live Kurt Kobain performance.

Uni and Nepgear were now all that remained. The final frontier was upon them, with the aid of their dead teammates' callouts through spectate mode, this should be a piece of cake. All they have to do now is stay alive and do what tickle damage remained of the-

Aaand they're dead. health bars inverted by another Instakill beam of bullshit no less.

"Okay, I think this was a pretty good gooning session girls-" Vert tried to conclude the gathering cordially, only for Uni to interrupt her.

"Vert, please never say that again, kay?" Lastation's CPU candidate asked passive-aggressively. "It doesn't mean what you think it-"

"Yeah, guys! We gooned for almost 7 hours straight!" Rom cheered, yawning and cutting Uni off.

"For real? What time is it?" Asked Nepgear, concern for her seep schedule in her voice.

"4:20 am!" Neptune shouted her response, despite not looking at a timepiece before giving her answer.

"On us?!" Yelped Noire in shock at just how late she was up. Only to let out a sigh of relief one panicked glance at her watch later, "False alarm girls, it's only 3 am."

"I think we're going to have sleep now, Vert." White Heart shook her head in disappointment, the sound of the Goddess of Lowee and her twin little sisters leaving the Nepcord call following soon after.

"Damn." Green Heart sighed, doing the same.

Lowee's Goddess and Candidates were gone, alongside Leanbox's sole diety. This left Lastation and Planeptune's leaders remaining on the nepcord call.

"Next time we do a raid, we should make it a video call..." Noire sounded far away from her mic, with some noises in the background hinting to her moving around paperwork and stationery.

"My bad guys..." Neptune scratched the back of her head, with much similar noises in her background. She knew who that comment was aimed at, Planeptune's Patron Goddess herself.

Speaking of the ruler of the futuristic Nation, her end of the call also had what felt like a mom reprimanding her daughters in the background. What she was saying was inaudible, but she sounded pissed as hell, though.

"Yes, Histoire..." Exhaled a beat Neptune and Nepgear in unison, possibly being the daughters taking the tongue-lashing.

"They sound busy," Uni pointed out.

"Yeah, let's head to sleep, we've got a lotta work ahead of us tomorrow." Noire agreed.

And there went Lastaion, leaving Planeptune to be the last bastions on the call before they too left, with Histoire still on their asses about... something.