CHAPTER 2

CLARITY WIPED his tears off after crying for several minutes. Almost an hour already, frantically speaking. He walked inside inside the bathroom and looked at himself at the mirror.

His eyes were puffy and red. He had to open the faucet and washed his face. After several attempt, the puffiness was already gone and only the redness over the sclera.

For sure, they'll be asking.

I'll just make an excuse to say that I slept for an hour and I yawned with my tears on. Of course that's normal right? You yawned then the tears would drop because you yawned? That's what I am gonna plan later!

Clarity changed his clothes.

Clarity clearly planned to bedressed properly when he would go downstairs. He wanted to look presentable.

Clarity stared more in the mirror.

Cute face, hazelnut eye color, black soft hair, perfect jaw line, perfect nose structure, pink soft lips, whitish skin and without a doubt, no pores nor pimples. Everything is just perfect with him.

So what's wrong?

He was clearly confused about the world.

Sighing, he discarded his garments and went to the shower. He opened the shower faucet and the water trailed from his head down to his toes.

Everything is surreal for him.

He stayed idle for the rest of the minute. Thinking nowhere. When his thoughts went back to reality, he immediately used the necessary equipment and liquids prior to taking a bath. It took him almost 45 minutes to finish washing up.

30 minutes for the unending stares at nothingness.

sated with sadness, he sighed.

He went out of the bathroom with the towel currently hung around his waist.

He directly headed to his closet where all of the things are arranged now. His luggage was placed inside the closet too. He pulled out a loose polka dotted polo with a fine linen indigo colored short pants. He put his boxers then his shorts and perfumed himself before putting the last piece.

He went over a mirror and looked at his self.

He tied his long hair with some of them leaving his head and trailed at the back of his neck.

When he felt satisfied about his looks, he opened the doors and inhaled deeply.

Every step going down has full of hopes.

"Grandma! I got good grades at all subjects and people around the university are praising me around." He heard Sandy said those things proudly.

That made Clarity smile.

He was proud of his sister.

Oh, one thing, Clarity stopped his semestrals because they decided to transfer here in the Philippines. Back at Montana, his schoolmates are non other than a vicious bullies. He didn't like it though.

He didn't say that or open that to his parents because for sure, they would be on the bullying side. No matter how he planned to tell them, they would really be on the side of the bullies. Back then, he was even punched hard at the stomach multiple times by different gang groups.

Hopeless as he is.

Sometimes, coughing up a large amount of blood would be a great weapon to let the people stop. And because his parents WOULD be oblivious, then better keep it to himself.

He had no friends at all.

All the emotions were stored like a volcano storing its magma over a long period of time and when it couldn't hold the pressure anymore, would explode silently or violently. Of course, Clarity would try his best to hold it.

But there are times when he couldn't hold anymore.

He would go to a far place and cried all the pains. Didn't care if people look at him and think that he is psychologically unwell.

Autistic, frantically speaking.

But no, these people doesn't know how big Clarity's burden and pain that he carried.

He wanted to pour it,

but he's too anxious that someday, somebody would use that to him. And he didn't want that. It would hurt and destroy the trust.

Every people he met has broken their trust but Clarity kept on forgiving.

He hoped that one day, he could find the right person.

Not in love but in trust. Not in love but in loyalty.

Clarity walked downstairs and as expected, even his family is oblivious to his presence. His mom is hugging Sandy while his father is caressing her hair and Sandy's eyes were closed with a relieved smile plastered on her face.

Clarity headed to the kitchen to get some food.

Clearly no one is noticing him and he felt sad.

As he was about to walk pass them when his grandfather asked, "What about your school, Clarity? Are you doing well?"

Clarity couldn't tell if his caring or not. With that indifferent face, Clarity couldn't tell if he loved him or not. Just as he was about to report about his performance when his father interrupted him. Telling something that shock his life.

"He's not doing good. You know Dad how imbecile that person is. Even his academic subjects are very low. Not intelligent and he couldn't even reach our Sandy's intelligence standards. No good future awaits that fucking gay bitch."

It hurt Clarity the most.

He wanted to argue, he wanted to beg, he wanted to cry but seeing his grandparent's faces, he knew he couldn't argue anymore. "Such a disappointment."

He inhaled his outmost courage.

His urge to cry was sated.

Clarity just bowed down and walked passed through them.

His hopes were already crumbling so he needed to close his eyes. Without him knowing, Sandy's toes purposely flaunted on the floor that led to Clarity to tripped and broke a mug, a plate and ended up hitting himself on a hard wall that made his sight sway.

"Clarity Sebastian Sotello!"

His father immediately roared and walked towards him.

"How stupid and clumsy are you? Fuck you!"

Then his father grabbed his hair and choke him.

Clarity was trying not to cry but seeing his father's look made his tears run down his eyes. He was loosing his breath and his sight was now narrowing. "The next time you broke another, I swear, I will be happy seeing you die in agony."

That threat drew fear in his persona.

Oh why is he experiencing this kind of treatment?

Just what did he do to deserve the punishement.

Clarity saw that none of the members of the family dared to fight for him. All he saw was pure happiness behind those indifferent look. Like they're happy that he was just agonizing. He looked at the Christmas tree located between the small and the large sofa.

He wished something good this Christmas.

Just then, he was punched by his father on his face.

He was threw on the sofa and there, his father choke him even more. "D-Dad..I-I'm.." His Dad bite his lip while choking him. He could feel all the blood on his face. "C-C-Can't b-breathe!"

His Dad was full of anger.

"You should be dead by now" he furiously said it.

Clarity looked at his father's eyes. Directly. Clarity's tears fell down while looking at his eyes. Clarity touched his face. "I-if you want m-me dead, you c-could d-do so.."

Then his father loosen his force.

He was looking at his son.

"If that's w-what ma-makes all of y-you happy, then d-do it. I'm just a-after your love and happiness."

Clarity gasped air really hard after his father loosen him up.

"I-if that makes you happy."

Without Clarity knowing it, he walked backwards and ran upstairs. He went to his room and locked it. Hearing his own voice makes him want to cry harder.

"I cannot.."

He sobbed.

"Win this life.."

Clarity looked at his hands and then outside. There he believed in something they called: Love.

Clarity smiled once more before his sight became blurry and he was suddenly thrown into the darkness.

He was unconscious.

Oh, how hard life is.

Especially now. Christmas is coming.