Confessions

This morning I once again opened up my text book from the library it's the third time I have read over this paragraph on sacrificial magic. My brain keeps looking for some loop hole to get out of Lees plan. I don't want to trust my soul to an object. I don't want to stop being human. So I reread the book teacher gave me over and over again.

Sacrificial magic isn't new. It's can be argued that is was the first type of magic. It's also the magic that popularized human sacrifice so undoubtedly father would never accept it. The book describes it as someone who is sensitive to all types of mana and can't control there intake of mana allowing them to cast one spell of a level believed to be above arch mage in return for removing all mana from the body causing the mage to die. Once a sacrificial mage or void mage start experiencing symptoms however there is no way to stop or slow the process as a result many void mages die causing them to be rarer. If a void mage dies there spell becomes what known as a blessing or a spell then never stops working and requires little to no mana to operate. If one survives however there talent with the elements is used to heal the sick and create barriers making them heavy sought after by courts.

The book then goes on to how to train void mages healing and shield skills. Never mentioning sacrificial magic again. For some reason this makes me really mad and every time I read it I just want to burn this textbook. I know I told teacher I'd be fine giving up my humanity, but the spell he proposed would have me loose more than that. It would have me loose the ability to see myself as an equal to my brothers and my father. I would, i will become less that a tool in there eyes...

But is than any different then I wanted to be. Arthur and Theo look up at me as I slam the book shut. Theo looks a me "what wrong Aaron? Did u get a booboo?" It's the weekend so Theo isn't in school either other kids. Confused I touch my face, realization dawn on my face. I'm crying. I look across the table a my brothers. Theo I holding tightly onto my hand and looking up at me his wavy red hair is all messy and in his eyes Arthur is lookingd at me as well he's stopped eating worry is written across his face. I laugh sadly to myself and hug Theo. " no " I smile "your older brothers just going to leave for a while" my voice breaks. Arthur stands up and runs over to me. His coronation is next week and me and teacher are putting together the final pieces of the spell. This is my last full week with them, as a person.

"All week you been acting weird" Arthur replies extremely worried "you almost never loose your cool Aaron ever" he pauses as he sits next to Theo "Please just tell me what going on."

I smile sadly "you have to promise not to tell dad" I turn to Theo can you keep a promise

He nods he knows the moods darkened. I look a Arthur " If everything go according to plan this time next week I will no long be your brother."

-Arthur perspective-

What does he mean by that? By Aaron's definition true he won't be a prince anymore but that doesn't mean we won't be siblings. I stand up Shakily"what do you mean?" Theo is also very confused. But not as perplexed as I am because he doesn't know Aaron as well as me. Aaron has his own definition for things but as far as I know his definition sibling doesn't differ from mine.

The smile that spread across his face when I ask hurts more than words will ever describe."this version of me will die "he's shaking now there's almost no color in his face. " Arthur," he grabs my arm " I'm a sacrificial magic user" he points to himself weakly. "I am going to become your sword"

The color drains from my face quickly. I look at him and he quickly looks away. "So that's why" he cuts me off " my body won't be able to survive but my teacher thinks he can move my soul into something separate and use the mana from the spell to maintain my consciousness" he ranting like he does when he's stressed all of this stuff falling out of his mouth like he's asking for forgiveness. His eyes drop when he finishes " I have no idea if it will work it's extremely experimental it's never been done before. Teacher says the theory line up so it's worth a shot. All I can do is hope that when I become a blade you choose me"

I pause unsure what to tell Aaron Theo grab my arm. " you have to choose Aaron's blade I don't understand most of what he just said but it seems extremely important to him! You have to try to pick it." The blades in the crowning aren't labeled I'd have to pick him out from feel alone but that isn't the main problem.

I turn to him slowly " how did this happen?" My voice was low "if you were developing magic even if it's illegal you should have told us. But even then... good monitoring would have prevented you from become sacrificial you could have just been a void mage!" Angers spilling out of my words. Who did this to my brother? I know he would never practice magic on purpose he promised me and he never breaks promises he makes to me.

" it" he pauses looking at me "it was my fault the teaching methods used by my Tudor work on 99% of students void Magic's very rare to he was trying to teach me how magic felt by assigning me tasks similar to casting magic that were trivial like organizing a books page numbers alphabetically" he paused "before he noticed I had already became a sacrificial mage." His words were slow methodical but somehow carried an unknown weight to them. "I'm sorry. I just happened to be in that 1%" His speech dispirit it's smooth sound felt broken. I couldn't just sit here and accept this.

I looked at him and sighed "i won't harm your teacher" a warm smile spread across his face. " However I am going to skip practice tomorrow to him" my voice was firm. I would not move on this one issue. He simply nodded before getting up to leave. "I will inform him"