Chapter Two

The next morning I woke up grabbing my phone when boys send group photos in uniforms with wide grins I roll my eyes putting the phone to see the uniform on my bed I groan kicking my legs and accidentally fall out of bed with a thud and aunt demi runs inside scared picking up the uniform with big smile forcing me to put it on. I stand there looking at it with disgust when she rushes to me to put it on. I roll my eyes getting it on with a grimace and do my hair curly and she puts them in a cute bow I groan and she stands me up giving me my shoulder bag with books I stand in lace when she rushed me outside throwing me the keys with a glare I nod kissing her cheek grabbing an apple jumping into the car quickly so no one sees me. I take cute photos posting them on Instagram with captions. "Let me be a good girl for a year." I drive away towards the school when Martin messages me on the group asking to pick them up from Tommy's house I reply okay and drive up to his house down the road and stop the car honk loudly and they all get inside and Bradley sits in front I take off driving without a word annoyed pulling the skirt down groaning quietly.

Martin smirks I push the grass on and he falls back into his seat. I giggle putting my hair behind my ear and drive up to school I clear my throat nervously looking at Martin and he smiles reassuringly I turn the car off grab my bag and step out quickly putting the bag over my shoulder when guys look me up and down I put the skirt down blushing and Bradley looks away red cheeks I smile faintly.

" I don't want to go"

I walk back to the car but Martin grabs my waist pulling me towards the school I put my head down and he straightens me up. Bradley looks at Martins's hands and looks at me I plead for help and he chuckles walking away I groan turning to Martin and bump into him when Bradley grabs my wrist pulling me inside the school I panic breathing out when he turns left towards the principal office for my lesson plan and badge I stand there looking at the wall. He leans over whispering.

" Thank you for the money from the game, I'll donate it"

I look at him and smile widely I look at the door opening when the principal smile letting me in I walk inside waving to Bradley who nods walking away. I get inside and sit down quickly when the principal looks through the paper ad pass me lesson plans school clubs and all types of tryouts. I take it all saying politely thank you as I step outside walking as I check the lesson plan out and bump hard into someone scream almost leaves me when they quickly grab me I look up to see someone I recognise. I apologise for standing up straight. He looks at me and my lesson plan showing me where to go.

" I think I know you "

He frowns looking at me closer and snapping his fingers telling me he was at the meet and greet with his 14-year-old sister I smile nodding I turn around walk to my class quickly running through the school when I see the classroom number I breathe out walking inside everyone attention turns to me I panic walking inside.

" Good morning, I'm raven "

The teacher smiled motioning for me to come closer. I take a step inside and close the door when I get shown where to sit down. I get to my sit and open my book on the page instructed I grab a pen to write when a girl walks inside unnoticed and sit down beside me. I keep on writing feeling her presence I look up to the teacher when Martin and Bradley whisper to each other. I finish writing when my phone vibrates. I take it out to read messages in the group. I frown reading.

" you looked so panicked..cute" from martin

" Ignore him he doesn't know how to flirt" from Bradley

" Okay shut the fuck up guys, we all agree she's cute let me learn..but yes you look adorable in your uniform" Tommy replied

I groan putting my phone away before the teacher notices and I see a girl giving me glares I look away I am bothered when the bell rings I grab my stuff walk out and martin follows me and the others join in when I walk to my next class. I look at them all walking behind me I look down ignoring people's stares when they start to whisper I can't hear everything but some bits and they're so jealous or angry whatever it is doesn't suit them well. I walk to my class when the guy from meet and greet is sitting beside me. I look at him when he smiles softly grabbing my hand.

" My name is Gabriel "

I smile back softly.

" Alora nice to meet you"

We open our books I start to focus on my lesson when people start gazing in my direction. I sit a little lower listening to the teacher when Gabriel nudges me whispering as he leans closer to my face. He tells me how much his sister admires me and wants to be like me. She constantly tells him she would love to do the same as me. I'm always so cheerful and happy. That's not true I do videos to forget but it's hard to handle for me lately I'm thinking of stopping for some time. I listen as he keeps talking happily.

" I don't want her to be like. me Gabriel..my videos are just 20 minutes of my life, I'm happy I motivate her..but life isn't colourful and beautiful I show in videos only a glimpse of my life..motivate her to be her. "

I smile sadly when the bell rings I wave with a smile at him I grab my books and quickly walk out of the class. I roam through the hallway towards the cafeteria Gabriel's words ring through my head she wants to be like you. I shake my head lost in thoughts I grab some fries pizza orange juice and two apples. I walk towards the empty table putting the tray down with a sigh I go realise that being an influencer it's fine you can hide a lot of things but the downside is that..people want to be like you when you almost fall apart and want to end the whole damn youtube career makes me fall deeper. I scroll through my phone playing with my food as I read comments that make me happy but still uneasy inside I slam the phone down putting my head in my hands. I throw the food and step out of the cafeteria holding my breath I hold my hand against my chest and message my auntie that I'm not feeling very good and want to go home.

My auntie knows very well my anxiety depression and panic attacks. She knows I shut off that I go to therapy no one knows the part between her and me. I step outside when Martin walks up to me confused. I smile hugging him I step away when my auntie drives up and gets out of the car I look at her pleading and she nods taking me into the car and calling the school straight away letting them know she took me home. I sit quietly and burst out with anger.

" I hate this stuff..girls want to be like me..they can't be me try can't be like me..it will only make them miserable, girls think I'm so happy and perfect but I'm falling apart.."

Alora holds back tears looking away.

" Baby girl..you have the right to feel sad. but I think you need to decide to take a break from this influencer job and focus on your mental health. "

I look at her with shock but nod slowly afterwards getting out of the car as soon as we pull up to the house. I walk into my room and look out of the window I sit on the floor in the corner bringing my knees up to my chin and covering my ears sobbing as memories flash back and the pain is horrendous I cry out quietly hit my head trying to stop the thoughts when my auntie walks in with a sad face and kneels beside me bringing me closer to her I melt into her embrace breathing heavily. She looks at my medication with a sigh seeing that I forgot to take them. She sits me down on the bed and walks quickly downstairs bringing water I look at the tables with disgust.

" They make me feel not good"

She understands knowingly passing me the water I take it quickly swallowing the pills I take my uniform off throwing it on the chair putting my hoodie and tracksuit on turning the computer on but looking at the camera with anger. She standard up leaves the room quickly and goes downstairs to her auntie who is getting ready for work. I look around and blur out without any type of thinking which scare me.

" I want to go with you. I don't want to stay on my own."

She looks at me sadly but nods after a few minutes of thinking I get ready quickly and she passes me the waitress uniform. I look at the clothes take them in my hand and grab my phone without thinking as we walk out towards her car. I get inside the car and put my seatbelt on I lean on the seat looking at the uniform when I open the phone group seeing a hundred messages I frown reading through them I lock my phone as aunt demi drives towards her restaurant has 3 Michelin stars. When we arrive I look at the restaurant I step out grabbing my uniform she guides me through the back entrance as we step inside people get the restaurant ready running around and the cooking slowly starts. I put on the uniform and my hair in a ponytail and walked towards the other waitress grabbed some stuff and helped everyone in return while my auntie is getting ready to cook. I finish setting everything and she gives me to nod to open the restaurant I unlock the door and stand outside breathing out and nervous looking around I walk up to the kitchen and she gives me a little notepad electronic and pen sending me out when they let people. I get behind the bar to grab my water because my mouth goes so dry I put it down after taking a big sip and walk away when the waitress shows me to table 4 with a big family I quickly nod walking up to them with menus and putting them out one by one.

" Good afternoon, would you like something to drink"

They all give me reassuring smiles when I see Bradley and Martin sitting at the table I look at his parents ignoring their looks and listen writing down every drink order with a faint smile nodding as I walk away towards the bar giving the order and look around when he passes me the tray with drinks with a wink I look away uncomfortably taking the tray walking towards the table I do rounds passing drinks out with smile grabbing the electronic notepad waiting for their orders. They order lobster oysters and some pasta with fries and burgers. I nod walking away towards the kitchen with an order given to my auntie who smiles reassuringly I look around drinking my water. I see one of the guy waiters giving me a look up and down feeling nervous I look away when the orders are ready I grab the tray plating the food takes the tray to walk out when and get around the tables towards the family when I feel someone's hand on my ass. I ignore it and quickly walk in with the food almost tripping I look back at the guy with a glare. I put the food down avoiding eye contact I put the food down nodding I take a step back and walk away quickly towards the kitchen I look at the guy in the kitchen and walk up to him slapping him across the face.

" Don't touch me again"

I grab the next orders take a deep breath and walk out to another table putting the food out carefully I tell them to enjoy it and walk away quickly when my auntie looks at me in complete shock when she takes me aside telling Ronnie to take over and she walks me into her office. She crosses her arms confused.

" What happened, you can't walk around hitting my staff alone. "

She says gently sitting down.

" He shouldn't touch me, fucking pervert "

I close my mouth and take off the uniform apron putting it down I grab my bag with my water when she runs after me. I ignore her stepping outside and quickly checking the road I turn left walking back the way we came I put my jacket on quickening my pace when she starts ringing my phone I throw it into my bag I cross the street quickly looking around when I bump into someone with a gasp I steady myself apologising when I look up to see Gabriel carefully studying me. I smile excusing myself when my auntie out of breath runs up. I walk when she calls after me I ask Gabriel to take me home and he stands there looking at my auntie and nods walking to his car I jump inside typing a message to her as quickly as I can. " don't worry I'm going home. I can't be there around people like him."

Gabriel takes the route I tell him to drive I look out of the window holding my tears back when he looks at me as he starts to talk with a whisper.

" You feeling okay? You look a little pale"

" I'm fine I have some things to do. I need to get home"

He nods understanding as he pulls up into my house I give him a smile and a soft hug when I step out of the car waving. He waves back driving out. I pull the key out and quickly open the door I close it running upstairs. I turn the computer on while I change my clothes I bite my lip looking at all the equipment I use with sadness I sit down crying a little. I feel so lost I can't do videos I need a break. I have to get myself together. I turn the camera on sitting down in front of it talking a deep breath as it starts recording.

" I didn't think it would come to this... I didn't plan it completely.."

I start to speak quietly looking down at my hands feeling confused and angry.