Prologue

"I have something to confess, I'm not perfect, I may be selfish, and occasionally self-destructive. I'm prone to very brief but severe times of melancholy. But I myself know, I can fight even until every bone of this body is shattered protecting people I hold dear." he paused for a second before continuing.

"And if I ever decide to give up on you, you must understand how much that took out of me. You, of all the people I've ever been with, know I'm the type to give endless chances, to always have your back and truly accept who you really are despite of the image you're currently showing. When the rest of the world didn't want you, I did. So if I give up on you, please understand how much that took everything that was left inside of me to leave you alone."

He held my face between his warm hands and swiped the tears with his finger. "Listen, I love you and I always will, I know sometimes I am a disappointment. I rarely know what I want or think before I act. But still, I want you to know in this lifetime of rushed decisions, of wrong turns and spectacular messes, you're the very first thing, I have that felt right."

He leaned his forehead over mine and whispered in a cracked voice. "But I want nothing but the best for you, I really do. It's just I wish that the better for you was me. That's why I'm willing to let you go."

I let out a broken sob, "Who are you, to decide what's best and better for me? Do you ever realize that I love you, that I want to be with you in this messed up world?"

"If there's something best for me, it's you. Even if I think I'm not worthy to be called yours. You are so much better than you think you are. You are special to me, You're the only one who I wouldn't mind losing sleep for and the only one who crosses my mind throughout the whole day. You're the only one who could make me smile without trying, you don't judge me for who I am, for what preferred gender I would want. These feelings are so overwhelming that I can't put it into words, that I can't explain how much you mean to me. You're the only one who I'm afraid of losing and the one who I want to be with in my life."