Suspended between hope and fear

Cynthia's mind raced as she processed Tian's declaration. She felt a mix of emotions—comforted by his promise but also worried about the risks involved. Her heart fluttered, and she struggled to find the right words.

"Tian, I..." she began, her voice trailing off. She bit her lip, then tried again. "I appreciate you saying that. It means a lot to know you care." 'More than you'd ever know', the rest of her words were left unsaid as she avoided his eyes.

Tian's eyes softened. "Of course I care, Cynthia. You're important to me."

She felt a blush rising to her cheeks and quickly looked away. "Just... make sure you think carefully about your decision, okay?"

 "I will," he assured her, his voice gentle yet resolute.

 Cynthia smiled, her heart swelling with a blend of admiration and something deeper.

As she made her way inside, she found herself reflecting on her own feelings.

The door clicked shut behind her, and Cynthia leaned against it, releasing a deep breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

The familiar silence of her house wrapped around her like a blanket, urging her to replay the day's events and, most importantly, Tian's words.

She closed her eyes for a moment, letting the stillness amplify the echoes of their conversation.

Today had been different. The easy camaraderie they usually shared had been tinged with something deeper, something unspoken that now felt impossible to ignore.

Shrugging the conflicting thoughts off her shoulder, she removed her shoes and silently made her way to her room upstairs.

After a quick shower and changing into a comfortable set of clothes, she plopped herself on the bed.

The soft hum of the ceiling fan was the only sound breaking the silence. Cynthia stared at the ceiling, her mind a whirlpool of emotions. Thoughts of Tian crept in uninvited, bringing a warmth to her cheeks and a flutter to her heart.

But soon, her eyes turned alert when she heard the doorbell ring. "Who could it be?" she wondered as she made her way downstairs. Peeping through the keyhole, her eyes widened slightly as nervousness coursed through her body.

Taking a deep breath, she grasped the doorknob and opened the door. The sight of her father in his usual drunk state wasn't much of a surprise, but him coming home on a Friday afternoon was.

"Dad?" she softly called out, her hands prying his fingers off the doorframe as she tried to bring him inside. His eyes were glazed over, and the stench of alcohol was strong.

"Cynthia, m'girl," he slurred, stumbling over the threshold. She supported him, her heart heavy with a mix of pity and frustration. He leaned heavily on her as she guided him to the living room, where he collapsed onto the couch.

Cynthia stood over him for a moment, her emotions a tumultuous storm. She glanced at his disheveled appearance—the wrinkled shirt, the unshaven face, the empty, vacant eyes that once held so much love for her and her mother. It was heartbreaking to see him like this, reduced to a shadow of the man he used to be.

Her eyes fell on the faint red marks of lipstick on his collar which went to his neck as she dropped her gaze to the ground. She knew very well where he was coming from.

"Dad, why do you do all this?" she whispered, though she knew there would be no answer. It was a question she had asked countless times before, always met with the same silence or drunken ramblings. She tucked the blanket around him, ensuring he was comfortable, even in his stupor.

The living room felt colder, darker, and lonelier with him there, a stark reminder of the chaos and instability in her life. She turned away, retreating to the kitchen.

The faint hum of the refrigerator and the ticking clock were the only sounds that filled the emptiness. She poured herself a glass of water, her hands trembling slightly.

As she sipped the water, her mind drifted back to Tian. The way his eyes sparkled when he talked about his dreams, the warmth of his smile, the comfort of his presence.

Love seemed like a distant, elusive dream—something beautiful yet terrifying. She feared repeating the same mistakes, of opening herself up only to be hurt in the end. The dichotomy of her emotions left her feeling torn, suspended between hope and fear.

With a sigh, she set the glass down and made her way back to her room. She needed to clear her mind, to find some semblance of peace amid the chaos. Laying in bed, her hands grabbed her phone as she dialed Nia's number. The ring went on for a few seconds before she picked it up.

"Hey," her cheerful voice made Cynthia smile as she stared at the ceiling. "Hey. What are you doing?" Cynthia asked her.

"Nothing much. I just came back home after Ryan dropped me off. We had ice cream on the way so I got a bit late. Why, missing me already?" Nia teased her, causing her to chuckle.

Cynthia took a deep breath, trying to keep her voice steady. "Hey, Nia. Are you up for hanging out tonight? I really need to get out of the house for a while."

Nia's voice was instantly curious. "Of course! What's up, Cynthia? You sound like you really need a break."

Cynthia forced a light laugh. "Yeah, just need a change of scenery. I was thinking maybe we could do something fun tonight, like an all-nighter?"

Nia's excitement was palpable. "An all-nighter? I'm in! I'm in! The last time we spent some time together was when we went to that noodle shop. Umm you know, we could go to that new bowling alley and then grab some late-night food. What say?"

Cynthia smiled, feeling a bit of relief. "That sounds perfect. And, uh, what if we invite Tian too?"

Nia giggled, catching on immediately. "Oh, I see. Someone wants to spend more time with Tian, huh?"

Cynthia blushed, even though Nia couldn't see her. "Stop it, Nia. It's not like that. I just think it'd be fun with more people."

Nia laughed, clearly enjoying the moment. "Sure, sure. I'll invite Ryan too. It'll be a double date, but, you know, not really a date for you and Tian. Unless...?"

Cynthia sighed, a small smile on her lips. "There's nothing like that. We're just friends."

Nia's tone was teasing. "Right, just friends. Anyway, I'll text Ryan. You should definitely invite Tian. He'd love it."

Cynthia nodded, even though Nia couldn't see her. "Okay, I'll text him now. Let's meet near school in an hour?"

"Perfect," Nia replied. "This is going to be so much fun! See you soon!"

As she hung up, Cynthia sent a quick text to Tian, hoping he would be free to join them. She thought about her father, still passed out on the couch, and felt a pang of guilt. But she needed to get out of this place if he was here today, and spending the night out with friends sounded like the best plan.

She swiped on her phone, her finger momentarily pausing on Tian's contact name before she messaged him.

Cynthia: Hey Tian, we're planning an all-nighter tonight. Bowling, late-night food, and just hanging out. Want to join?

The reply from his side was almost instantaneous as she felt the buzz of her phone.

Tian: Sounds awesome! I'm in. What time and where?

Cynthia: We will be meeting near the school in an hour. I've got some work to take care of nearby, so I might have to head out a bit earlier. Otherwise, we could have gone together.

Cynthia: See you soon!

The notification of Nia's name made her open the messages from the excited girl as she asked if Tian has agreed to come.

Nia: So, is he coming?

Cynthia: Yeah, he agreed. By the way, are we going to book a cab to go there?

Nia: Oh, just leave that to Ryan. He will take care of it but there's a change in plan.

Nia: Ryan just informed me that the bowling alley is under construction so we will be going to an arcade instead. 

Cynthia: An arcade? Won't it be too crowded, especially at night?

Nia: I found this place that's open all night! It's this cool arcade bar with retro games and a chill vibe. Plus, it won't be as crowded as the usual arcades during the day.

Cynthia: Hmm, that does sound interesting. Alright, let's give it a shot!

Nia: Great! It'll be a blast. Don't worry, I'll let Tian know about the change in plan and tell him to meet us there. You just focus on getting ready for a night of gaming and fun! See ya!