Chapter 19

Adam...

THEY taught us to make fire using only wood, and after that, some students sang. We had a bonfire, and we formed a circle. I was far from Sanya, just stealing glances at her.

Only Kyra and Sanya were next to each other, while the other students kept their distance as if they were in their own world, ignoring the rest.

"You know, aside from her friends, Sanya seems to be nice only to you," said the girl next to me, a short girl who looked like a freshman, but I knew she was our batch mate.

I smiled. Sanya is nice to me? How did that happen?

"Maybe because you're her spouse. You know what? You're cute, but you're off-limits now," she chuckled, and I was surprised when her lips touched my cheek. I pulled away; it didn't feel right. I created some distance, and I heard her laughing.

I looked at Sanya, and she was quiet, seeming annoyed.

The facilitator decided to put us to sleep. I entered the tent first and closed it to change.

I was about to put on shorts when I heard Sanya outside. "Zhymian, open this," she said firmly.

I didn't listen to her; she can handle it. Earlier, she made me look foolish waiting for her, and she didn't even respond.

"Zhymian!" her voice raised.

I had just put on my shirt when I felt the tent collapse. "Shit!"

I quickly found the zip and opened it, then I came out. "What did you do?"

I saw the tent on the ground. "Set it up again," she ordered.

"Why did you do that?" I asked in annoyance, and she raised an eyebrow.

"Are you getting back at me?"

"Sanya, I'm just changing."

"So, are you getting back at me for earlier?"

Frustrated, I tried to set up the tent again.

"Is there a problem here?" one of the facilitators approached.

"Nothing, Sir Marcus. The tent just collapsed, so this idio—uh, my spouse is setting it up again for us," Sanya replied with a fake smile.

Once I managed to set up the tent again, she entered. I followed and saw her placing a pillow between us. "My space, your space, no crossing."

She pointed to her side and mine. I just nodded because I didn't want any more trouble and conflicts between us. Besides, it's already midnight, and the others are asleep.

The surroundings were quiet, dark, and all I knew was that the bonfire was not extinguished to keep us warm. There were footsteps and flashlight beams outside the tent.

I sighed and closed my eyes, but I couldn't sleep, especially knowing that Sanya was right beside me, just an arm's length away.

I glanced at her side, and she had her back to me. I smiled, the first time we're together and close during sleep, as if it's not true that there's only one pillow between us.

I was surprised when she moved slightly. "Please stop staring, Zhymian, you're creeping me out," she said, eyes closed, lying on her side.

How did she know I was looking at her?"

"I can feel it," she replied as if she had read the question in my mind. "You staring at me, stop it, I can't sleep, it feels weird knowing someone is watching, especially while sleeping," she said in a soft voice, almost a whisper.

"How did you even know it was me looking at you?"

I heard her chuckle slightly. Wow! Another first. "Do you see something that I don't?"

She opened her eyes and looked to her left, where I was.

We just stared at each other. "I-I can't sleep. S-sorry."

Ugh! I found myself apologizing again, even though I didn't do anything wrong. But maybe it was wrong to stare at her—for her, but for me, it wasn't wrong.

"I can't sleep either," her gaze returned to the top of the tent.

"Why?" I asked in confusion.

"It's your fault."

"Ha?"

She looked back at me. "You're the reason, I'm so annoyed at you that I carry that irritation even when I sleep."

"Wait, what did I do to you?" I furrowed my brow because as far as I remember, I didn't do anything to provoke her irritation.

"That's it, that's one of the irritating things. You're not doing anything, but I'm annoyed at you."

"Sorry," Shit! Why do I keep saying sorry? I shouldn't, but it feels like it's my fault. Maybe this is just her way of making me feel guilty, to make me feel bad about something that isn't my fault. "What can I do to make your irritation go away?"

"Nothing. You don't need to do anything. That's my opinion about you, and it won't change," I saw her close her eyes.

I fell silent, seconds passed, maybe minutes or hours, I wasn't sure.

"Sanya," I called her name, just making sure if she was already asleep.

"What is it again? Don't bother me with things I don't want to hear, I told you."

She's still awake. "You're still awake."

"Do you think I'd answer if I were asleep? I can't sleep, right?"

"Sorry if you can't sleep because of your annoyance with me."

I heard her sigh. "Who was the girl beside you earlier?"

"Huh?" I asked in confusion, recalling the incident.

"The one who kissed—" I saw her bite her lip. "Never mind, don't answer my question."

It was only then that I understood what she was talking about. "I don't know her."

I heard her laugh sarcastically. "Don't know her," she mimicked what I said.

"I don't know her. I was just sitting next to her, she said that besides your friends, you're only nice to me, which of course, I didn't believe. You being nice to me? Since when? I was surprised when she said I'm cute but off-limits because I'm already your spouse. Then she kissed me on the cheek, and I distanced myself from her. Seems like she's a bit crazy."

I heard her chuckle softly, and when I looked at her, she was smiling. Holy shit! Sanya smiled and laughed genuinely! A laugh without sarcasm or teasing.

She looked at me with a smile still on her lips. "Why?" her forehead wrinkled.

I shrugged. "Just nothing. It's just the first time I made you smile and laugh without us arguing or your smile or laugh being sarcastic or teasing."

She suddenly nodded at what I said. "I'm going to sleep. I have to wake up early tomorrow; who knows what time I'll wake up."

I smiled, it's the first time she bid me farewell for what she was about to do.

"Sanya."

"Shut up, Adam! Let me go to sleep, and don't bother me anymore."

I removed the pillow between us and slowly approached her. I couldn't control myself.

I wasn't making any big movements; I was just behind her. When she turned around, our faces were just inches apart.

"Adam, what—"

"You've called me Adam four times now."

"Are you really counting?" I smiled, staring at her lips. "What are you thinking? I swear if you have any plans, don't continue."

I gazed into her eyes, feeling the warmth of our bodies being so close. "Why, Sanya? What do you think I'm planning?"

I was about to lower my lips to hers when a flashlight from outside illuminated our faces. I moved away slightly. "Mr. and Mrs. Zhymian, this is an outing, not your honeymoon. I've been hearing you whispering for a while now. Go to sleep."

"Y-yes, Sir. S-sorry," I apologized.

I felt Sanya push my shoulder, and her hands lightly touched my shoulders as she tried to distance herself. I moved closer to her again. "Zhymian, what the—"

"Call me Zhymian again, and I swear I'll kiss you," I threatened.

"Just try it, Zhy—" I lowered my head towards her. "Adam."

I smiled; it seemed that even Chrisanya Evangelista was afraid of threats. "Stay away from me. Where's that—Adam, what are you doing? Do you want to get into a fight in the middle of the night? What's wrong with you?"

She was trying to push me away, as I pressed my cheek against hers and hugged her around the waist, she's attempting to remove my arm.

"Adam!"

"Sanya, shut up. Can't you see I'm trying to sleep here?"

"You could sleep without—"

"I missed you," she stopped at my words. God! It feels good having her in my arms. I brought my mouth close to her ear. "Let's sleep; we might get scolded."

"How can I sleep with you hugging me?"

"That's your problem, not mine. I like the feeling of having you in my arms, Sanya. Let me hug you and let me sleep. You smell good," I don't care if I sound crazy, but this is what I feel right now. I smelled her neck and smiled; her scent keeps me sane. I feel like just smelling her is fixing my system. Sanya and her power over me; I find peace with her, even though our relationship is chaotic.

We are like a paradox, peacefully chaotic, unflustered turbulent, perfectly imperfect.

I smiled at the thought.

"Adam," she softly uttered my name, and I felt her trying to remove my arm from around her, but I resisted.

I hugged her tighter, pretending to be asleep.

I heard her sigh and stop trying to free herself from my arms after a few minutes.

After a while, I noticed that she had fallen asleep, probably from exhaustion.

I looked at her face for a moment, the third time I've stared at her while she's asleep.

I kissed her forehead and smiled. "Goodnight, Sanya."

I have feelings for her, and I won't deny that, especially to myself. I know that it could deepen, and I don't care anymore. I am ready for whatever happens, and I'll do everything to make her like me in return.

I placed my right arm under her head, and she moved, momentarily stopping me as she hugged me herself.

"Sanya?" I called her name to make sure if she was already asleep.

I smiled when she didn't respond. I adjusted our position, hugging her tighter.

Sleep was gradually overcoming me, and now, I was happy. I was happy that finally, tonight and tomorrow, I would be able to sleep with her, to lie beside Sanya, to hug my wife.