Chapter 13

Adam...

I was frozen while our lips were still touching. Neither of us moved, and I wasn't even sure if I was still breathing.

I had kissed her before, but this time, it was completely different.

"Sanya," I heard someone call her from somewhere, and because of that, she seemed to snap out of it. She pushed me away that made me fall to the ground, Sanya stared at my face as if she couldn't believe that she had just kissed me. "Oh, there you are."

We both looked at Lena, who kept glancing back and forth between us. "And you're here too, Az, what's going on?"

We both fell silent while Lena seemed to wait for our response.

"Uh..." I thought about what to say. "I came here because I thought there was no one here, but Sanya was here."

"Why are you there?" she asked again, so I stood up from where I was kneeling on the pavement.

"I had a fight with him," Sanya answered, Lena looked at her, she was looking down and couldn't meet my eyes. "I got here first, so as payback, I made him kneel. I almost punched him if you hadn't arrived."

"Ah," Lena said and moved closer to Sanya on the hammock. "Poor Az, always getting beat up by you."

"It suits him," she said, looking at me and rolling her eyes. "He's a moron."

My eyes widened at what she said. If only Lena knew what really happened. I just shook my head.

"Oh? What else are you doing here?" Sanya frowned as she asked me.

Wow! Just wow! She still couldn't look at me. She's acting weird. I was annoyed and left to go to my classroom for my next class. I was the only one in the room because we still had five minutes before our class. I was thinking about what happened earlier, thinking about Sanya.

My other classmates and our professor entered, and they started discussing the lesson, but my mind couldn't understand what our teacher was explaining because I couldn't think of anything else but what happened earlier.

"SEID, can I just photocopy your notes later? I didn't really understand what was discussed," Seid looked at me, furrowing his brow.

"Adam, are you okay? The material was pretty basic, like something from the first year of high school, and you didn't get it? I noticed you were zoned out earlier, you thought I didn't see."

I scratched my head. "Just let me borrow your notes. I was thinking about the outing earlier."

"You're just excited," he shrugged and handed me his notebook.

I got home ahead of Sanya and waited for her. I wanted to talk to her. I couldn't understand why she kissed me earlier. I've been thinking about it, and I can't make sense of it. The truth is, I'm nervous, and I'm not sure if I should ask her or pretend it didn't happen.

I heard the door open, and I automatically looked up when she entered. Our eyes met briefly as she passed in front of me, as if I wasn't there. She was about to go upstairs when I spoke up.

"Sanya," she stopped climbing the stairs, and I was about to say something when she beat me to it.

"If you're going to ask about the kiss a while ago, it was nothing," she turned to me. "I was dizzy because I had a hangover. I was dazed, and I didn't even know how it happened. So just forget about it; there was no kiss."

I blinked, it was nothing. She was right, this is Sanya, it was nothing.

"I didn't say I was going to ask about the kiss," I replied to make a comeback and annoy her a bit.

"I never kissed you! Didn't I tell you there was no kiss!" She said in irritation.

"Right, I said there was no such kiss, and you didn't kiss me earlier."

Her eyes narrowed. "Are you teasing me?"

"Why?" I gave her a sarcastic smile. "Are you annoyed?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Me? Annoyed with you?" she laughed sarcastically. "You wish! Maybe you're just bothering me because you expected something from that kiss."

I sighed and chuckled. "I thought there was no kiss, right? And no, I didn't expect anything," I laughed at her, but my real feelings contradicted my words. "Expect something from you? Who are you, anyway?"

"Excuse me! I'm Sanya Evangelista."

"And you're the last woman I would want to kiss. I'd rather kiss a dog than you," I laughed, knowing I was going too far, but I preferred to tease her. If her anger could divert her attention from feeling the pain, I'd rather make her angry at me.

"Ugh!" She grimaced at what I said and descended the stairs. "Admit it, your ego is hurt because it was nothing to me. Admit that you expected something."

"Why do you keep insisting that I expected something? Maybe it's you! Maybe you're the one who thought of something. That's why you kissed me, isn't it, and not the other way around?"

"Really? As far as I remember, I was quietly sleeping, and I woke up with you bringing your face close to me to kiss me."

"Me? Kiss you? So who's assuming now?"

She furrowed her brow even more, and her eyes narrowed. "I'm not assuming, and I'm definitely not expecting anything. You're the one who's teasing me just because I kissed you, and I was dizzy at that time."

"Oh, so you finally admitted that you kissed me," I smiled wider at her. "You kissed me earlier."

"I was dizzy!"

"Still, you kissed me," I raised both my eyebrows.

"It was nothing."

"Why are you so defensive right now if it was nothing? You sound defensive."

"I am not defensive! You're the one teasing me. I told you that nothing happened!"

"But you just said, you kissed me!"

"I didn't! Fuck you!" I can see the frustration written all over her face.

"You know why can't you just admit things like earlier? You kissed me, but you refuse to accept that it was you who kissed me. Do you think I would believe that it meant nothing and that you were just dizzy?"

I looked at her seriously while she continued to glare at me.

"It means nothing."

"If I tell you that it means something to me, would it still mean nothing to you?"

She raised an eyebrow, crossed her arms, and lifted her chin. "Nothing."

"Really? Why can't you just be honest?"

"Honesty will only let people hurt you more because the more they know, the more you say, the more ways they will find to hurt you. Other people don't care whether what you say is true or not, it's better not to give them anything to use against you."

"And do you think I'm like that? That whatever I learn about you, if you're honest with me, do you think I would use it against you? That I would use it to hurt you?"

She glared at me and laughed teasingly.

"Why should I be honest with you? And why would I get hurt because of you?" I sighed. "You're thinking too highly of yourself, Mr. Zhymian."

"Yeah right, who am I anyway? I am just your husband," I emphasized my last words. "And you are just my wife. It's better if you were drunk because you're more honest and sensible then."

She stared at me, and there was an emotion in her eyes that I couldn't read. "Whatever I said to you when I was drunk, it doesn't matter because I was drunk. So don't think you're special because of what I said last night."

"Don't worry, I don't think that way, Sanya," I narrowed my gaze at her. How many times does she have to step on my ego? What else should I think? This is Sanya, she won't change, and maybe we'll be like this forever.

"Good," she smiled teasingly, approaching me and raising an eyebrow. "If you're like that, maybe we'll get along." She playfully tapped my cheek, causing me to startle and flinch.

Her hand paused briefly on my face, and I found myself staring at her. Was it just me, or did her expression soften?

When she removed her hand from my face, I could still feel it, the sensation of her touch moving down my face and neck as she pulled her hand away. "I-I'm leaving."

"Sanya," I couldn't help but grab her hand.

"Don't touch me!" she raised her voice after tapping my hand that held hers.

Confused, I just stared at her. What's going on? Did she also feel what I felt when she tapped my cheek? The nervousness? The feeling of suffocation?

"You're weird," I said. "You touched me, but I can't touch you?"

"I didn't touch you."

"So here we go again," I laughed again. "It's obvious, yet you deny it."

"I just tapped your cheek."

"Okay, if you say so, I'll just pretend that I didn't feel your hand brushing against my cheek."

"Will you stop teasing me?! Because, honestly, I'm running out of patience, and Zhymian, I'm just one step away from beating you!"

"Why don't you do it then? And by the way, Chrissanya Evangelista, you're not the only one who can insult me, including your friends."

"You deserve it."

I stared at her, and my eyes narrowed. "I deserve it?" I burst into laughter. "What do I deserve? Your insults? Your teasing? It's a good thing the whole campus now knows we're married because at least I managed to avoid your nonsense. Tell me, Sanya, what have I done wrong to you? What is my fault that you treat me like this? Tell me now, I'm listening."

"You're wasting my time, there are other things I should be doing instead of wasting my saliva talking to you," she was about to turn around when blocked her way.

"No!" I stared into her eyes full of annoyance. "Sanya, I want to hear it now, tell me everything you dislike about me, why is your blood boiling with anger towards me? Why?"

"I'm not angry at you," she went up, and I followed, she stopped at the highest part of the stairs. "Can you please! Why are you following me?"

"You're not angry at me, why is it like this? Why did you do all those things to me then?"

"I'm not angry at you, not just you, people like you."

"People like me?"

"Zhymian, can you just leave me alone? I want to rest."

She was about to turn around again when I spoke up.

"Wait!"

"What now?" It was clear from her voice that she was extremely irritated with me. "What-"

"Was the kiss earlier really nothing to you? Did you not feel anything or anything?"

She furrowed her eyebrows. "It was nothing. How many times do I have to repeat it to you? What am I supposed to feel?"

I shook my head. "Nothing. That's what you said, right? Nothing."

"If that's the case, I don't know how many times I need to repeat myself for you to understand."

I went up as well, and she glared at me. She was about to turn around again when I called her name.

"Sanya."

"What? You're not funny anymore!" she pushed me and I almost slipped and fell if I hadn't held onto the staircase railing. "Adam!" I felt her grab my arm and pull me closer to her, unintentionally, I instinctively placed one hand on her waist and she held onto me tightly.

We just stared at each other. "S-sorry," she whispered, and I smiled.

"You called me Adam again, and now you're apologizing to me," I didn't know what her sorry was for, but it was enough for everything she did, just one sorry from her and it seemed like I forgot everything.

We didn't move, her hand still gripping my arm and me holding onto her waist, we were still close, and this was the first time we looked at each other closely for a long time.

My gaze dropped to her lips, and it didn't escape my sight and hearing her inhale as if she was holding her breath while we were so close to each other.

"Sanya."

"What now?" she said softly, her tone no longer angry but gentle as she said those words.

"If I kiss you right now, would it still mean nothing? Would you not feel anything?"

She stared into my eyes and slightly shook her head. "N-no."

I smiled again. "There's only one way to find out."

"W-What?" I didn't wait for her to speak, I didn't wait for her to say anything else or do anything. I felt the urge to kiss her...and so I did.