Josette Marshall

My life was pretty much the same and normal here, in Boston. Every day is absolutely the same- I wake up, attend classes, work, come back, eat, and sleep.

I always dreamt of studying abroad. My mother passed while giving birth to me, so it's always been me and my dad. He left no stone unturned, like ever to make my future as bright and clear as possible as he could. He knew how much I genuinely wanted to go abroad, America specifically, for my further studies. Everything was all set, he made up his mind to willingly send me to America. But since he was going to be all alone, which I couldn't bear seeing him like, I told him to give his love life one last chance.

Never knew my father was such a dark horse, he was already seeing someone. I was shocked, happy but shocked. I mean I just gave him an idea; didn't think he'd be this quick to work on it. Well, he did his deed before my idea, if we're getting technical.

She is a mother of one too, a daughter who's a few years younger than me. He said he wanted to marry her before I moved out. We were a middle-class family, so he knew I wouldn't be able to come back, not at least till my full course was over, which is why he wanted to marry her before I went. I agreed.

It was the day of his marriage when I saw him the happiest. I'd never seen him like this. I knew how much he loved my mom, but I never got to see that myself, so it was the first time I saw him like this. He loved her truly.

Her is Terra Martin and the daughter's name is Hannah Martin. Hannah was 16 back then, 18-19 now I guess. But when I came here, 9 months after my father had a stroke, which led him to death immediately.

No one told me what happened. But three days after his demise, Hannah called. She and I bonded very quickly in just a short period like we were always meant to be sisters. When she told me about Dad, I was dead. Breathing but dead. He was the only parent I had left, I never thought—. I had always been on my own before, but I was on my own and all alone now. Terra and I never connected. She hated me from the start, which is why I had grown to hate her too, but hating her doesn't make her any less of my stepmother. As much as I hated her, I loved Hannah. After Dad, she was the only one who got excited when I called. She still calls but sometimes I feel like Terra doesn't want her to talk to me, which she understands as well, so now most of the time we just chat.

I was a living dead person after my dad died. Audreya saw and endured it all, my rage, my mental or physical breakdowns, my panic attacks but never complained not even a single time.

It was the night when Audreya came home late. I was scrolling through my phone because I had nothing better to do, I saw pictures. My childhood phase, teenage-hood phase, and entering the adulthood phase, I saw them all. They were all with my father. I saw him and it was like he was here with me, except in reality, he wasn't. It wasn't his fault that he had a stroke, I don't blame him. I blame me, me, and only me for leaving him alone behind and moving out. I was so trying to focus on my future that I forgot if I was growing, so was he. If I was aging, so was he. If I was leaving, so was he, and he did, his little daughter he stayed up all those nights for, when I was sick, or when he took an off just to attend my stupid Cinderella play at school, or when he decided to cherish me even after the love of his life died because of me. So, no, no one was to blame here except me.

It's been a week since I saw those pictures, I haven't told anyone anything, not even Audreya. She's been asking me if I'm okay to which I'm saying absolutely, all the time because I don't want her to feel sympathetic for me, which she definitely will if I tell her. Besides, there is so much she doesn't know about. So, it's better to put a fake smile on the face and go on with the day.

I was in my class when my phone buzzed, a notification from...? -Evelyn.

-"I've been sensing the change of mood of yours lately, all good?"

"Yes, absolutely, why?"

-"No specific reason, I just felt you were a little... unhappy.?"

"Stop with your psychological instincts already, not going to work on me."

-"You aren't that hard to read."

"Oh yeah? What am I thinking right now?"

-"That's not how it works, JO!"

"HAHA, Got ya! Focus on the lecture, Evelyn. And don't stress too much. I'm fine."

I told her and kept my phone back in my pocket. I can tell, it's not just psychological instinct of Evelyn but anyone could sense the change in my behavior from the past few days. I'm a little disconnected, but I have to get back.

Stronger. Bolder. Better.

As soon as all of my classes were over, I was off to Dean's Diner. Took my apron and was all ready for my shift, except I still had time for my shift to start. The girl whose shift I took over was still on the counter and I couldn't just barge in and tell her to leave when she saw me coming too. So, I stayed in the kitchen and waited for her to get off.

"What's up, Jo? Long time no see." There was a voice behind me, Marco Wellos. He was the actual first one I became friends with when I first came here. The thing is he works in the kitchen, while my shift is on the counter as a barista, so we don't meet often.

"Truly, been a while." I could tell, he wanted to say something but DEAN. He was keeping an eye on us, why? because he's an ass. "How is everything up with you? All good?" Does he know? Wait. Am I that transparent right now?

"Yep. Loving Boston, just hoping Boston likes me too." I said, mockingly. "C'mon, Boston loves you."

Uhm, okay.? Now that was something. We technically didn't talk to each other, except when we were passing by we waved a hand and smiled. "We should catch up, on our lives? Let's grab a drink or two after the shift. What say?" I could use a drink though, right now. It'll probably help with the disturbing thoughts.

"Yeah. I'll inform you if it's today or someday else." I don't want to agree first and then deny afterwards, because that's what I mostly do. Marco is nice, and I'm thinking of going with him but I don't want to say anything right now which I'm most probably going to regret later. My personality changes with time. What if I'm thinking of going now but the second my shift ends, I want to go home?

"No problem, tell me when you're sure."

It wasn't just the pictures that made me gloomy, it was a particular someone who was trying to get into my life again, with whom I thought my whole life would be so happening and amazingly perfect, until he left me shattered, alone, vulnerable, and broken.

~"Jo?" Valerie said, while shaking me as I was so into my thoughts, I even forgot where I was. "yeah."

"Sorry for the delay. You should go now. I've seen Dean glowering you several times already." I looked over to Dean, who was standing near the doorway and scowling. Why? I said it before and I'll happily say it again- He's an ass! I just nodded to Valerie and walked in.

Served a couple of customers, and now it was time to go back home. I was about to leave when I remembered, Marco asked me for drinks! I saw him helping a newbie in the kitchen doing dishes. From what I assumed by looking at him, he was ready to go.

He's been over from his shift for 15 minutes, I overheard someone saying that. He's wearing his go-to clothes near the sink, no one wears their go-to clothes near a sink. He's waiting for me!

"Marco. How about on Friday?" I said walking up to him, his face lit up hearing those words coming out of my mouth, at least I wasn't completely denying it. "But-" Okay now he was making a -you got to be kidding me- face.

~"But-?"

"But I don't want to leave Audreya home alone. Can I bring her too? If you don't mind." And now he was making a-this was it? that was what you were worried about? -face. "Yes! Why not. More people, more fun."

I nodded and headed home.

While walking home, I texted Audreya that we're going to 'Nightingale' -a bar- on Friday. She got excited. She's been stressing herself so much because of work. Besides, it's been so long since we hung out together. This could be like a refreshment for me and her both.