Josette Marshall

"I've been feeling lazy,

  or it's just the way I am.

I've been dealing lately,

  but what if I fall?

I think I'm not worth it,

  am I the only shame?

With no good grades at all

or with no one else to blame?"

"JO FREAKING MARSHALL!!!! "-Audreya shouting. It's 6 a.m. How can someone be this hyped up? (she shouted again) Wait. I don't this is good. She's mad? "C'mon girl, it's 6 in the morning. What is it?" I said not knowing why she did what she did.

"You tell me" she said, showing me my journal ??? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"You're writing again?" Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. I'm screwed!!! I'm freaking screwed!!! I'm definitely DEAD. "Tell me, please. I'm not mad, I promise." she pleaded."I'm sorry. I just couldn't suppress any more feelings inside. I'm really sorry."

"You can talk to me about anything you know that. Right?" Rey said to me while I was looking at the floor this time. I know she cares about me a lot that's why I couldn't tell her anything. That's why I can't tell her everything. "I just didn't want you to overthink things because of me. I thought-" She didn't even let me complete my sentence and said, "And what was that you were doing? Wasn't that overthinking?" holding my journal right in front of my face.

"Talk to me, please. Jo."

"I don't know what to talk about, Rey. That's the actual reason why I write because when I'm talking to anyone, even to you, I'm not able to express myself clearly. I forget how to speak. And suddenly I'm all blank. But when I'm writing, it's like I don't have to exaggerate or overthink anything and the words just come out like they've waiting for me to hold a pen for a very long time."

"I don't tell you anything not because I don't want to Rey. I won't tell you anything because I'm not able to. And I'm sorry you had to find out like this."

"Are you fucking crazy? You don't have to be sorry for anything, silly. I'm here for you forever and forwhere." She said

"What's forwhere?" This is what happens to both of us when we don't remember a particular word, we invent a new one."Forever like every time, and forwhere like everywhere" Oh my god! She's so original and hilarious sometimes. If I was a man, I would definitely marry this bitch. "Want to go grab some food? We're already late, it's 6:30 already." Wait, what? 6:30 already? Wasn't it 6 a.m. just two minutes ago?

"Holy Moly, you're right. There's no time to make breakfast now. I'll go get dressed and we can grab food on our way to the campus. Okay?" 

"Perfect! I'll be waiting in the car in 15 minutes."

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(in the cafeteria, after class)

"God! I hate them." Evelyn said referring to the group sitting right opposite us. Evelyn Jane, me, and Audreya Young have been together since the second semester. It was just me and Audreya at first, and then we saw her sitting alone after class one day, and we had to make her feel good. Since then, we've all been making each other feel absolutely amazing.

"Right! I mean why do some people have to be extra loud? Plus, it's just 9 a.m. yet." I quoted. Rey is being a little quieter than usual. Me and Lyn exchanged glances and already knew something was up. "Is everything all right, Rey?" Lyn asked. No response. She's been staring in just one direction continuously, towards the 'loudest/trouble group'. That's why we call them all- 'the trouble ones'.

"Audreya Young!" Evelyn said again with a hard bang on the table. She flinched."What kind of freaking trance you're in girl? Why are you not replying to me?"-Evelyn

"Nowhere. I'm good. Cool. Cool. Cool." Rey said making an excited face all of a sudden.

"Fun. Fun. Fun." All three of us said all together.

It's like our thing, when any one of us says 'cool' three times, we have to accompany and say 'fun' three times altogether as a sign of positivity and that everything is absolutely fine. But this time I think there is something Rey's hiding. I'm not going to force it out, of course. I just hope she'll tell me soon.

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There is something weird with the 'trouble ones'. There is always someone, anyone presenting right where we all are or maybe I'm just overthinking. But why was Rey looking at them earlier? Or maybe she wasn't. Maybe she was just thinking something while 'accidentally' looking in their direction, that's what she said. 

Gosh, this class is so boring. I swear to god if this doesn't end right now, I'll be dead in a minute. I'm sincerely not hearing a single thing right now, every word this teacher has to say, is going over my head. No shit, my phone had to notify me of low battery right at this moment when I had nothing better to do except to scroll through some bookstagram reels.

Good. Now I'll just sit here and wait till I die because of this teacher's screeching voice which is cutting through my ears and making them bleed right now. At this point, boredom will probably be visible on my face. This day can't get any worse!!!

Wait, I think I saw something. Deep brown eyes gazing into my soul. It hasn't even been a minute and I notice silky, smooth, and darkest brown hair- like a sweet coffee but with no milk, slick bright skin like butter cherishing each and every part of the body, jawline as sharp as a newly bought knife.

Oh god, he's perfect. And it's... Christian Larsen? -the leader of the 'trouble ones' staring at me? *scoffs* Why the hell would he Jo? You hate him. And also, You're a fucking delulu girl.

Just one more minute and I'll be out of this prison world.

3. 2. 1.

THANK GOD! I'M OUT.

This class will be the death of me someday.