1. Awoken

"Ahhhhh!!!!!" Tian Ye's entire body felt like it was drowned in a bath of molten lava, even his brain did was not spared as it was worse, his mind felt like it was being split into half and then crushed into bits. As the sudden scream was ear wrenching and the environment around Tian Ye was very quiet every animal around him was scared away with even the birds flying for their lives.

Tian Ye screamed in agony for almost 30 minutes as the pain went through his entire body and slowly faded.

"Shit! What the fuck happened?! Where am I?" Tian Ye said as he observed himself and his surroundings. The forest he was in was very beautiful, almost magical as it was very bright with very vibrant colors and vegetation. Tian Ye could say for certain that even if he went around the Earth and looked in every nook and cranny that he would never see such a beautiful place, which left his mind wondering where was this place and who the fuck made him experience all that pain. He silently cursed all 18 generations of the person who sent his ass here. Just as he thought of that a message showed up.

[Hello Tian Ye, you were chosen by the System N.001, as you are my first host my job is to help you become strong in this world.]

"What the fuck! How the fuck did I get here? How did I get a system?" Tian Ye yelled into space, even he who yelled into space was quite embarrassed as he knew from the novels he had read that one thing that you absolutely must not do is yell out loud when talking to a system. He quickly looked around to see if there was anyone that saw what he did, and after carefully searching every corner did he sigh a relief, if someone did watch he would hunt them down to the ends of the Earth or whatever he was at and kill them so they would not share the story, he did not want to have a bad reputation right after he landed in a new place, he knew first hand what it was like.

Somehow the system did not interrupt his thoughts and waited after he was done thinking then responded.

[When you were sleeping in your bed last night an earthquake happened in your apartment and it knocked a pornography book off your bookshelf and it hit you in the head and then you died of a concussion.]

"..." Tian Ye warily looked around just in case, even if no one from this place knew what happened he was still very embarrassed. The system continued.

[I happened to come by and saw your soul as it was flying out and I saw your soul was very...]

Tian Ye was especially interested when he heard this part so he impatiently asked. "What did you see?!"

[...fucked up]

"..." Tian Ye was dumbfounded, how the hell was his soul 'fucked up'?! He was a very kind person! Well... now that he thought about it he only helped a couple of people in his life... and he had some very bad habits, but everyone did. He would drink a lot and often find himself running out of money just because the bill at the bar racked up to be so much, and the worse part was that he was only a little buzzed by the time he ran out of money! That pissed him off to the ends of the Earth. Luckily his job as a professional gamer paid quite well so he would still have a good source of income to pay for his drinking habits.

He would also often get in fights and would injure the person very badly, broken bones, fractured skulls, concussions, tears, almost every kind of injuries you could think of yet he never killed someone.

Lastly his final bad habit. He did watch porn quite a lot, but who didn't at that age? Well... he watched a bit more than your 'average consumer', once when he woke up, three times before, in, and after the shower, once before he ate breakfast, once when he got to work, once after he got to the bathroom, once when he got off work, once when he went home, and a couple extra times when he got to sleep. He now realized how horrifying it was now! He was practically spewing his seamen everywhere! He began thinking of all kinds of horrifying thoughts, and he began to regret so much!

"I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE A FATHER!!!"