Chapter 31: I'm a Traveler Of Both Time And Space

Dean wakes us up in the middle of the night because another angel has visited him in a dream. Anna, this time. I wonder when angels are going to start invading my dreams like they do for Sam and Dean. Anna says that she wants to meet us at some warehouse or something so we're getting ready to go until Cas pops up and tells us to quit packing.

"Why? What's up, Cas?" Dean asks

"It's Anna. She plans to kill you"

"Kill me? Why me?"

"Well, Sam more specifically. She wants to kill Lucifer's vessel to avoid the apocalypse"

"Really? Anna? I don't believe it" Dean says while he paces back and forth.

"So does this mean that I'm the only one who hasn't banged someone who wants to kill us?" I grin

"Give it time" Dean grumbles and I laugh.

"So she's gone all Glenn Close, huh? That's awesome" He huffs

"Who's Glenn Close?" Cas asks with a look on his face similar to a confused dog.

"No one, just this psycho bitch who likes to boil rabbits"

"I think that's what it said on the back cover" I chuckle and pop open a beer

"So the plan to kill me, would it actually stop Satan?" Sam pipes up humorlessly

"No, Sam, Come on"

"Cas, what do you think?" He says ignoring Dean, "Does Anna have a point?"

"No. She's uh, Glenn Close" Cas says and I laugh again. Cas tells us that Anna traveled back in time to kill Dad and Mary before Sam is born and Dean manages to convince Cas to take us back with him.

"I'm going back in time with you?" I shout excitedly, "That's awesome! Maybe we can visit my mom too"

"This isn't a vacation" Cas says firmly, "We'll have to move quickly and stop Anna and then come back. I don't have enough-"

"Right, sure. Okay, let's go"

Cas touches his fingers to our foreheads and suddenly we're in the middle of a street. There are old timey cars honking their horns at us and we hurry out of the street. Cas is injured from the trip so we put him up at a motel and head out for Dad's house.

I'm angry. Despite the fact that I've traveled through time and that I get to meet my Dad before I was even a possibility for him, I'm angry. I think about his arms around Sam and Dean's mother, living in a house with her, happily married and giving her all the love he never showed my mom. I've seen Mary before in a picture that Dean keeps hidden in his wallet. Blonde and pretty, like Adam's mother, whom Dad also seemed to like better than mine. I guess Mom wasn't blonde enough to deserve his attention.

Dean rings the doorbell of Sam and Dean's old home. Sam is fidgety and nervous, and almost childlike. A younger version of the woman in the picture in Dean's wallet opens the door. She's stunned and upset when she sees our faces.

"Hi, Mary" Dean says

"You can't be here" Her voice is not what I imagined. It's not soft and fragile; it's demanding and strong.

"I'm sorry if this is a bad time."

"You don't understand" She says, "I'm not…" Sam is staring at her and she notices. "I'm don't do that anymore. I have a normal life now. You have to go"

She moves to close the door in our faces but Dean puts his arm in the way.

"I'm sorry, but this is important, okay?"

A man clears his throat from beside her and the door opens wider. Dad stares back at us. He's so small and thin. His face is young and naïve and nothing that I would have imagined. All I ever knew was the war weathered sadness that radiated off of his skin as strongly as the booze that escaped from his pores on the hard days, and there were a lot of those. Even his eye color looks different. I move forward for a closer look and he stares down at me until Dean pushes me back an inch and laughs awkwardly.

"Sorry about that, he, uh, doesn't get out much."

"Sorry, sweetie" Mary stammers, "They're just-"

"Mary's cousins" Dean finishes for her, "Yeah we couldn't stop through town without swinging by and saying hey now could we? Dean." He says and extends a hand.

"You look familiar" Dad says

"Really? Yeah, you do, too, actually, you know? We must have met sometime. Small towns, right? Got to love 'em."

"I'm John."

He reaches his hand out again for Sam this time, who takes it but won't stop staring. I want a closer look at Dad's eyes but Dean hooks his arms over my chest and holds me in place in front of him.

"These are my brothers, Sam and Evan"

"Sam." John smiles "Uh, Mary's father was a Sam."

Sam smiles and nods stupidly.

"Uh, it's a—it's a family name" Dean says

"What's going on with your eyes?" I ask

"Excuse me?"

"They look blue almost"

Dean laughs loudly, "Okay, kiddo, we better get you something to eat before you get any worse." He leans forward to Dad and Mary, "Low blood sugar, he gets a little bugged out when he doesn't eat for a while"

"Would you like to stay for dinner?" He asks

"Actually, John, they were just on their way out" Mary says

"What? They just got here and plus this poor little guy is going to keel over. Do you like spaghetti and meatballs? I think that's what's on the menu for tonight, right honey?"

Mary clenches her teeth.

"That would be amazing" Dean grins and Mary glares him.

As I chew absently on the potato chips Mary reluctantly hands me, I stare at the man who left me an orphan four years ago. I feel no kinship towards this man who is supposed to be my father. He doesn't act like him or talk like him. He doesn't even look like him but I'm the only one who seems to notice. If they do notice they don't care. Then again, my brothers knew him for a long time before I met him. A lot can change over time. Still, I can't think of anything else.

He smiles uncomfortably at me and fidgets in his seat.

"Uh, Evan" Dean says from next to me, "how're you feeling champ?"

"You're so beautiful" Sam stutters to Mary

"He means that in a-a non-weird, wholesome family kind of way" Dean says quickly

"Yeah, right" Sam agrees heartily

"We haven't seen Mary in quite some time and, see, she's the spitting image of our mom. I mean, it's- it's-"

"Eerie" Sam breathes

The Dad I know would've thrown been on high alert with us but this one invites us to stay for dinner before excusing himself to answer the phone. Mary tells us to leave once he's gone.

"You have to leave. Now."

"Okay, just listen-"

"No, you listen. Last time I saw you, a demon killed my parents. Now you waltz in here like you're family? And you brought a young boy with you this time? What are you thinking?" She hisses at Dean

"I'm older than I look" I grin and her eyes narrow unapologetically.

"Regardless, whatever you want—no. Leave me alone."

"You and John are in danger." Sam says

"What are you talking about?"

"Something's coming for you"

"Demon?"

"An angel" Sam tells her

Dad is getting his ass handed to him when we show up to save him from the trap he walked right in to. Dean does his best to take on Anna with the angel blade but he's thrown through a window. Then Mary goes for her. I would've thought it was a bad idea for someone who could be so easily killed by their assassin to try and fight her, but Mary is pretty kick ass. Of course whatever she does isn't enough to stop Anna. She's an angel. I really don't know why she's even taking her time when she could kill us all in a matter of seconds. Mary is thrown into a car windshield and I throw a wrench at Anna's head to distract her. It hits her in the nose and she winces.

"Hey Anna" I yell at her but she's still advancing on Mary.

I take out my gun and shoot her in the hand.

"Anna!"

I yell at her and shoot her in the center of her forehead. She vanishes and appears before me.

"Evan" She says and lifts me into the air by the front of my shirt. I grasp her wrists to keep from choking but it's still hard to breathe.

"You look pretty today" I grunt "Did you do something new with your hair?"

Blood is flowing from her wound and it's coating her face like face paint. Mary stabs her through her back with a crowbar and Anna drops me to the floor.

"I'm sorry" She says and pulls it out before turning to Mary, "It's not that easy to kill an angel"

"No" Sam says from over by the wall, "But you can distract 'em"

He presses his bloody hand on an angel sigil and Anna vanishes in a blast of light. John looks like he's going to have a heart attack. Mary hurries over to him and helps him to his feet as Dean limps back inside.

"What'd I miss?"

We pile into the car and Dad drives. I'm sandwiched in the back between Sam and Dean. I thought Dad would be scared or in shock by all of this, but he's angry. It makes me feel better about him. It feels like home.

"How long?" He demands

"All my life. John, just try to understand-" Mary starts

"She didn't exactly have a choice" Dean interjects

"Shut up, all of you!" Dad yells, "Look, not another word, or so help me I will turn this car around"

Everyone gets quiet.

"Wow. Awkward family road trip" Dean whispers

"No kidding" Sam agrees

"You asked, though" I mumble

"Excuse me?" Dad shoots at me

"You asked her a question" I say louder, "She answered you and you told her to shut up."

Sam widens his eyes at me to tell me to stop.

"I'm just saying. Why ask…right?"

"Stop" Dean mutters and nudges me in the ribs with his elbow.

"Ow. Don't elbow me" I say and shove his arm away from me

"Cut it out" He snaps and pushes me into Sam

"Hey" Sam says and shoves me back into Dean who pushes me harder back into Sam

"Quit it!" I say and punch Dean in the arm.

Sam and Dean both freeze and look at me. A streetlight reflects off of Dean's dark eyes and gives it a menacing glimmer.

"Dean-" I caution and suddenly my head is caught in a headlock under his arm and Sam has my arms pinned behind my back.

"Hey!" Dad yells

I can't move but I feel the car swerve off of the road and come to a sudden halt. Dean and Sam release me immediately and Dad whips around at us.

"What the hell is wrong with you three? Do you want to walk home?" He snarls

"No" Sam says meekly

"No, sir"

I rub my sore shoulder and shake my head no, though it makes no difference to me.

"Then cut it out. Now."

He glares at us and turns back to the front. Mary frowns at us through the rearview mirror as we pull away from the curb again.

Dad is eager to help us out for Mary's sake and Sam tries to teach him a thing or two about the angel sigil for protection. Dad's still pretty grumpy about all of us being hunters, though. It's pretty funny how little he thinks of his future self for letting us live this life. Sam says that he forgives him for everything that he did because he gets that he was trying to protect us after he lost his wife.

"He taught you too?" Dad asks me

"Yup"

Dad shakes his head disapprovingly. "I don't mean any disrespect to your father, but-" he looks at me and frowns, "you're just a kid. You deserve a better life than this."

"I'm older than I look"

He looks back at Sam, "I know I just met you, but you're Mary's family which makes you my family. Your Dad is gone but you're old enough to take responsibility and protect him from this while you still can. Before it messes him up for good"

Sam bites his lip like he's guilty of something and I know what he's thinking. Too late.

"I'm gonna go check on Dean" I say and back out of the room.

"I'm your son" I hear Dean say the instant I find him and Mary.

"What?" Mary asks stunned

"I'm your son. Sorry, I don't know how else to say it. We're from the year two thousand and ten. An angel zapped up back here. Not the one that attacked you, friendlier"

"Dean?" I ask and join him. Mary takes a look at me and shakes her head.

"You can't expect me to believe that"

"Our names are Dean and Sam Winchester after your parents. When I would get sick, you would make me tomato rice soup, because that's what your mom made you. And instead of a lullaby, you would sing "Hey Jude", cause that's your favorite Beatles song"

"I…I don't believe it. No" She's crying now

"I'm sorry, but it's true"

"I raised my kids to be hunters?"

"No. No, you didn't" Dean says comfortingly

"How could I do that to you" She cries and looks back at me, "And you. You're just a baby"

"Not your baby" I wink

"What?"

"It's complicated" Dean explains

"But. But I thought you said you were brothers"

"We are. Just-"

"How could that be if- John? Does John" Her eyes widen, "Does he leave me?"

"No" Dean says quickly

"Don't worry. You're dead long before Dad starts messing around with other girls" I say and pat her arm lightly. Dean puts my hand back down and glares at me.

"What?" She gasps, "What happened?"

"Yellow-eyed demon" Dean says when he finally looks away from me, "He killed you and John became a hunter to get revenge. He raised us in this life." Dean's voice drops "Listen to me. A demon comes into Sam's nursery exactly six months-"

"Dean!" I shout and yank his arm so that he's facing me

"What?"

"What the hell are you trying to do, jack ass?"

"What's wrong with you?"

"Think Dean. You save her. What do you think happens to me?"

He lets out a breath and closes his eyes.

"Didn't think of that, did you?"

"You're right. Damn it" He sighs and looks back at Mary. "Alright, forget that"

"What are you talking about, Dean?" She frowns and Sam walks in.

"Or we can make it so all of us are never born" He says, "When this is all over, walk away, and never look back"

"I might still be born." I offer lightly but it's highly improbable that Dad would follow that path if Mary didn't happen.

"It's too late. I'm pregnant" Mary says just before Dad walks in and says the sigils are gone.

Anna isn't alone this time. There's another angel with her and Dean goes for him while Sam attacks Anna. Before I choose a direction to turn to, my brothers and I are thrown hard against the wall. Dad gets pushed right out of the window. Sam gets up and tries to grab the sword to kill Anna but she stabs him first and he falls.

"Sammy!" Dean cries

"Anna!" I shout and snatch the blade from the ground

"Evan, no don't!" I hear Dean scream at me but before I can react, Uriel throws me hard into the wall and I go right through it. Even with the sound of the wall being demolished under me, I can hear all of the bones in my body breaking. I try to take a breath but it feels like a knife has been lodged in my lungs. I feel nauseated as warm salty blood spills from my mouth. I'm in so much pain I want to die for it just to end. There's a ringing in my ears and everything is going black. I blink my tired eyes and see my mother standing over me. She smiles and touches my face.

"Evan?" She whispers, "Evan, come on. Stay with me"

I smile at her and I can hardly feel the pain. She caresses my face.

"Save him. Fix him first and then we talk. He's still alive." She says softly, "You hang on, Evan. Don't you leave me"

The blackness thickens around us and I can hardly see. She's warm around me.

"Please. Don't let him die. I'll talk with you but don't let him die" Her voice chimes like a bell. Something cold touches my forehead and the blackness disappears. So does my mother. Dean is crouched down in front of me. He heaves a sigh of relief. Dad's eyes bear down at me but he doesn't look the same. His face has hardened.

"Dad?"

"No" He says and touches my forehead.

An ex-blood junkie, a delinquent teen, a dropout with six bucks to his name, and Mr. Comatose. That's our team against the angels. We sit at the table with cups in our hands to drown out the pain of what we experienced back at the motel in the year 2010. I'm not in pain. That wasn't my mother. And John... John Winchester is not my father, I don't care if he did knock up my mom. He loved Mary. He didn't want my mother and he didn't want me. He's not my family. Sam and Dean are my family and they're all I have left.

"They all say we'll say yes." Sam says

"I know. It's getting annoying." Dean grunts

"What if they're right?"

"They're not."

"They can use anyone in the blood line? Does that mean they can use me too?" I ask

"No." Dean says firmly

"Actually, yes" Sam says, "Technically"

"I mean no as in nobody's getting their hands on you or any of us for that matter. We're not saying yes"

"Dad said yes" Sam says

"That was different. Anna was about to kill Mom"

"And if you could save Mom? What would you say?" Sam raises an eyebrow

"It wasn't meant to be, Sam. That's just how it is."

"Yeah. I guess you're right" He says when he looks over at me. I can tell by the way he looks that he feels bad. "We should still be prepared, though. If they can use anyone in our bloodline, they might go after you, Evan"

"No matter what happens. You say no" Dean says firmly

No matter what happens? That doesn't sound like me, but I nod anyway. My brothers need reassurance that I care about saving the world as much as they do. I don't and somewhere they know it too. They just hope it doesn't come down to my choice and they hope I'm strong enough to say no if it does. It's not about strength. If one thousand people had to die in order to save either of my brothers, I'd slaughter them myself just like anyone else would for someone they loved. Maybe that's what they're afraid of. Being loved so unconditionally by someone who loves themselves just as much. As I smile at my beautiful foolish big brothers, I wonder if the angels will try me.

"I mean it" Dean says sharply, snapping me out of my thoughts, "I want you to promise me that you won't say yes if it comes down to it. I mean it. If you did, everything we would've worked for, everyone who died, Ellen and Jo, everyone will have died for nothing."

My smile fades suddenly but I'm not upset or angry. I feel fine. Sam and Dean watch me expectantly like this is a test. Like they're waiting to see if I'm really on "team free will" as Dean calls it.

"I won't let you down." I say

I'm on their side.