LucyXiong
So… here goes. I so very rarely give a full 5 stars because writing style and accuracy is so very important to me. However, this ticked all boxes for me. The FL(s) were a complete treat. The author built them very well and created people I quickly grew to love. I’m not satisfied with the ML. Mainly because I’m not sure who he is. I’m secretly rooting for the guy she snogged the night of the ball but… I only read 10 chapters for a review. At times, the writing forced the story to go by too fast, which I didn’t like. The FL would be immersed in something and in the next paragraph,she would change her actions. Making it seem like the before disnt matter. It was confusing. However, there was so much humor and banter and the story itself completely drew me in. Well done Author!
I'd like to start off by saying the clashing personalities between Charlix (nice name btw) and Lady Syn. They truly act like a mother wanting her daughter to be the perfect lady, even if the daughter doesn't want that. The story gives me classic Disney vibes and its dated quite appropriately. With how the men act, how the ladies dress, and the language used. With that being said, I see that the story is swamped with dialogue. In the 5 chapters I read, dialogue took up a majority of the chapter. At times, it felt a bit jarring. There are situations where writing things from Charlix's POV would benefit you, especially during the first chapter where she and Lady Syn go back and forth with each other near the beginning. Another issue I encountered was the bland phrases used at the end of certain dialogue. They lack flavor, and feel rather bland. For example: "Leave it!" She barked "Yes, my lady." I slouched "I can't help it when you don't make sense!" I shrugged. Adding an additional line of expression and emotion would greatly help to really bring out their personalities and polish the tone you're going for. Like... "Yes, my lady." I slouched "Yes, my lady." I slouched, seeing no use in fighting against her strict rules. It helps to understand the characters much more than a simple adjective. I encourage you to use this. Lastly, I wanted to touch on the instances of the "tell, don't show." For example: "The door handle jiggled, I panicked." It's far too bland and flavorless. I've seen you add some amazing descriptions, such as when Charlix was dancing with "Sir-Talks-a-lot." I know you can improve on that line I mentioned. And that's about it. I really had a blast reading it, and I wouldn't mind following through to the end. Just make sure you fix up on the things I mentioned!