Ep. 95 - Flaming Chicken, Service Club Requests

Rin has been living with us since the incident with Kirei. She didn't show it, but she was still quite terrified and might have developed some sort of trauma. I mean, the person she trusted most wanted to, basically, kill her just like he did with her father, so it's pretty normal. At least, she can get along normally with the people she knows, so she didn't get absolutely isolated. She does get stressed out and scared when left alone or with strangers… I will have to fix this problem.

Anyway, Rias was also getting more and more worried about her engagement with Riser.

"Headmaster, can't you talk with my brother to annul my engagement?" she asked one day, while sitting at the counter with a cup of tea

"Do I look like a wedding planner or something? Sirzechs gave you a condition, the Rating Game. I think that you can easily win if you start preparing. You are already pretty strong according to Devil standards… Look, I won't actively help you, but I can make sure that nothing underhanded happens. It will be good for you and your friends back there to grow up a little."

"Stingy old man! Aren't I your favorite 'niece'?"

"Niece? Sure. Favorite? Eh, debatable." I said and she exploded in a mumbling mess and shouting how much she hated me and all that stuff.

"Hey, what's this Rating Game? Devil stuff?" asked Rin

"Pretty much a very violent paintball game where two teams compete to kill each other. It's pretty fun. Just that instead of paint pellets, the contestants use real weapons and seriously try to tear each other apart."

"You guys must have a few screws loose… And why would you want to annul your engagement?"

"Because my 'fiancé' is a womanizing bastard with a harem already. He just wants me for my family status and body…"

"Let's kill him." Rin said immediately.

"You can't, he has the properties of a Phoenix. He will heal immediately from basically anything."

"So he's just a flaming chicken. Well, you still have what? A couple of years before the rating game? You should be able to make teriyaki chicken with him by that time." I said. I know fully well that the Devils' plot is the same as DxD's canon, so the asshole should appear any day in the Occult Research Club. I am already pissed knowing that he will just act as if my school, my territory, is his playground. I will put him in his place when he comes. Yeah, I will also kill a few of his 'slaves' to make him understand who's the boss here. I also hate his attitude towards love. Being the Origin of Love is influencing me quite a bit, I noticed.

Four days later, I was in my office lazing around with my wives, since they didn't have to teach any class at that time. Then, I saw Riser teleporting to the Occult Club.

"Wait here for a moment. I need to deal with a stray chicken. Five minutes should be sufficient."

"Destroy him." said Ruby

"Oh, I will, but I need to wait until after the Rating Game. I hate to say this, but Rias and her peerage need this as a wake-up call." I said, then teleported to the Occult Club, right behind Riser.

I saw that Rias and the peerage were all very tense, but they relaxed and smiled when they saw me arrive. I gestured to them to be quiet and continue on with their own thing. Grayfia also didn't show any movement or surprise, though I could read her thoughts.

'Where the hell did this guy come out from?! And I can't even feel him… If he weren't right in front of me, I wouldn't be able to find him.' Well, she hadn't met me yet, so it's a normal reaction.

At any rate, I concentrated on Rias' and Riser's conversation.

"I won't be marrying you. Also, you should leave. The Rating Game is supposed to be held in two years and you have absolutely no right to act so high-and-mighty. Otherwise, you have no idea who you would be provoking."

"Ha! As if the great Riser could care about your opinion. I am the descendant of the Phenex family, and you will be mine. It is just a matter of time. And who would I provoke? You? Or maybe some puny human or reincarnated Devil? Oh, don't make the great Riser laugh!"

I smirked, which must have been more of a demonic smile to Rias and her peerage.

"Oh, flaming chicken, you would be provoking me. Not a great idea."

He quickly turned around and got in a fighting stance. Then, seeing me, he relaxed.

"And who would you be to address the great Riser?" Hm… He seems a little more composed. I guess he realized that he can't sense me and is slightly more wary.

"I am Rias' uncle and the Headmaster of this school. You have intruded on my territory, which would usually result in death, but I will let you off with some light 'education'." I said, then punched his gut. My fist went through his body and came out of the other side. I had already stopped his regeneration.

"You have angered a God, little chicken. Not only you violated a sanctuary of knowledge, but you also go against everything that Love should be. How about you become some teriyaki chicken?" I said, then started 'tenderizing' him with a barrage of punches. I was obviously holding back, but several cracks could be heard, and his body soon turned to mush.

"Come on, little chicken. I am keeping you alive, but I will kill you if you don't amuse me."

I started tearing his teeth one by one and crushing them in front of his eyes. I then ripped his nails, extracted his organs, his bones, his muscles, his eyes. In the end, I extracted his soul, keeping his pain receptors active. Ah, his screams were fantastic.

"Riser Phenex, you have angered the Origin of Knowledge and Love. Face your punishment." I said and summoned one of his bitches- sorry, I meant peerage members. I took her soul out and sent it to the cycle of reincarnation, then placed Riser's inside. "From now on, Riser Phenex will change sex. I have modified this body so that it has the Phenex family genes, so you don't have to worry about being disinherited or anything. Grayfia, you and Sirzechs will be in charge of explaining his… Sorry, her condition to the other flaming chickens."

"Why should I follow your orders?" she asked.

I looked at Rias while pointing at Grayfia. "Is she stupid? Mentally challenged? Retarded? I just said that I am a fucking God and you don't listen to my orders? Should I 'educate' you as well? I am a firm believer in gender equality, so you will receive the same treatment."

"No, no, please no! I didn't mean it that way! Spare me!"

Heh, she's trembling and about to cry. I walked closer to her and whispered in her ear: "Grayfia, you are lucky that I am a benevolent God, or you would already be six feet under."

I turned again to Rias and her peerage. "The Phenex family will most likely try to negotiate with me to turn their resident idiot back into a male. Prepare for a Rating Game. You will either be engaged to his brother or to him even though he turned into a female. Fight for your freedom."

"Uncle, that stern attitude doesn't suit you."

"Shut it, brat. Or I'll turn him back into a male and make him ten times as lustful."

"Anything but that!"

Oh, before I forget, I should resurrect Asia and give them some nice Longinus Sacred Gears. Because I can and it will be interesting to see those chickens' reactions when they whip out these bad bois. I resurrected the girly and directly took some Bishop pieces from Rias to turn her.

"She will be your ally, Asia Argento. I will also gift you a couple of interesting Longinus that I had in mind. For Rias, the 'Veil of Destruction, Void's Gaze'. For Kiba, the 'Sword and Shield of Righteousness, Paladin's Struggle'. Shitty name, very effective. For Akeno, 'Zeus' Spear, Zeus Areius'. Again, a pretty bad name. Lastly, for Koneko, 'Cat's Scratch, Meow'. No, you can't change the name and I want no complaints."

When I was finished, I teleported back to my office and continued cuddling with my wives.

Something else that happened after the chicken showed up at school is that the Service Club started completing their requests pretty well. The four kids took care of quite a few easy, 'minor' requests and started getting quite popular. There was a little incident where a stray tried attacking the four of them while out on a commission, but Charles and even Hachiman covered for Yukino and Yui. Well, Hachiman didn't actually fight, but he tried stopping the stray Devil from moving too much so that Charles could have an easier time.

When I got wind of this accident, I launched a crusade against those fucking strays. How dare those fuckers exist close to my territory? They are simply looking for death. I created a massive formation on all of Tokyo that will kill any Devil, Fallen, or Yokai that tries to attack my students. Fuck normal people, I don't care about them, but the students' safety is a matter of pride and personal satisfaction.

Well, there was another interesting little incident where those pricks Hayato and Yumiko wanted to play tennis like spoiled brats and demanded the Service Club to leave. It's interesting because the school has a shit-ton of tennis fields where the students can go. One was right next to the one the kids were using.

Seeing that this would be fun, I walked towards the tennis field and sneaked behind the students. The older ones were used to my pranks and me arriving sneakily, so they all smiled and shut up.

I tapped Hayato's left shoulder and went invisible. Hunter skills really do come in handy as an excuse. He looked around but didn't find anyone. I tapped Yumiko's shoulder next. The students were holding back their laughter since the two popular kids were being played by the Headmaster, me.

I got a water balloon and popped on top of Hayato's head, making sure that the girl wouldn't get wet. It wouldn't be very appropriate to get her shirt wet…

His reaction was awesome! He immediately glared at the students and asked who threw the balloon.

"The Headmaster!" said some snitch.

"The Headmaster? From his office on the other side of the school?! You think we're stupid?!" shouted Yumiko

"Well, I can't exactly deny that, but I will never state it openly." I said, startling the two students. They stiffly turned back and looked at my beautiful smiling face. "So? What's going on here?"

"H-headmaster! We wanted to use the tennis field, but the Service Club is refusing to leave-"started saying Yumiko

"Yes, I see. Look, it seems to me like both of you have quite a decent eyesight. I am missing an eye, but I can still see the field literally 10-20 meters that way. It's not reserved like this one and no one is using it. So, what is going on? Jealous of the Service Club or something?"

"N-no! It's just… We wanted to play a doubles match, but no one would play against us, then we saw them and you know the rest…"

"Ah, ok. Next time you should directly say that. It will be easier on all of us. Ever thought of joining the tennis club?"

"Uhm… I am not sure if my level is appropriate for the club. The team won the Tennis tournaments every year since you became the Headmaster, after all."

"Nonsense! Come on you two, let's play 1v2. I was decent at tennis in high school, so I should remember how to play."

I dragged them to the neighboring tennis field and we started a friendly match. They were pretty good for freshmen, that's for sure. Some obvious faults in 'tactical' decisions, but pretty good. I went easy on them, so I allowed them to have one set.

"Well, you see? You two are good. I really think you should join the club. You will find some more friends there, that's for sure." I said to the panting duo. Hm… The match might have been higher intensity than I thought. I brought out two special water bottles with some special tonic dissolved in it.

"Thank you, Headmaster. I think that I will join, if I am still in time." said Yumiko

"Me too." said Hayato

"What good kids you are… The captains are right behind you, so you can ask them. Well, see you later! Gotta take care of Headmaster stuff. Soo boring!" I said while smiling, then walked back to my office.

When I arrived, I found a note from Sirzechs. The Phenex family will annul the engagement if I return their son to normal, but they still want the Rating Game. Seems like it's a matter of pride and appearances.

I talked very calmly even though the room was empty. I was projecting it directly to the Phenex manor.

"You little chickens have the audacity to make demands? I will terminate every single one of you if you continue pissing me off. Annul the engagement with Rias and maybe, just maybe, I won't destroy you all."

After I finished saying that, I sent a few explosions against the manor, killing a few unimportant family members, so that they can understand who they are dealing with. Well, I have the budding suspicion that these Devils are complete retards. Riser, Grayfia, the Phenex family, the strays, Rizevim… I really don't get why they even think they can look at me. Argh, I am getting a little too pissed over such a matter.