Ep. 47 – Self-Updating Status, Universal Time, Dinner, Second Day

Once we exited the office, we trasmated back to the ship.

"Well, dear, mind telling us what that was about?" asked a very scary Weiss.

"W-well, you remember how I have a little gimmick inside me that basically makes me have infinite Light, Aura, and Magic? Excelia will be added to the list from today. I am constantly producing excelia, so I hit the limit of the status sheets Gods have. But, my semblance is absolutely superior to any Godly gimmick, so I can just spawn in a new sheet and update myself." I said.

"You always do stuff like this." Said Ruby, she came next to me and rubbed her head on my chest. "Well, I am sure you are about to do something even stranger. You always do."

"Oh, you know me so well. I will make a ritual so that we can have self-updating statuses. We won't have to go to Loki again. If excelia works like I think, you will also be able to level up outside this universe by sparring with me. Loki said it, I am basically considered a monster in this universe." I said.

"If you were a monster, nobody would be safe." Said Yang, leaning against my back. Feels real nice, if you ask me.

Anyway, I answered another couple of questions that were mostly 'Are you okay?' and 'Any thoughts about killing us all'. Reminded me of when I came out of the Grimm Pools six years ago. After that, I closed my eyes and created a ritual. It will make our statuses constantly update themselves without limit, so we can all grow as strong as we want. I think there should be a limit to how much excelia a body can contain, so I shouldn't just jump to God level. Probably. In case I do, I know what my next destination is.

I inscribed the magic circle in one of the 'meditation chambers' on the ship and tested it on myself. While the ritual was doing its magic, literally, I felt nothing. When it stopped though… Oh boy, was I in for a surprise.

You know that scene from Justice League, the movie, in which Flash starts running and everything seems to move in slow motion? Yeah, I felt like that. To be honest, I don't like it. I spent a minute or two trying to understand what the fuck was happening. Ends up, I was kinda right and kinda wrong.

There is a cap on the amount of excelia someone can obtain. Now, the amount depends on the person and it's roughly equated to talent. I, being a robot with nearly perfect body in this universe and a generator for a heart, have a monstrous cap. Theoretically, the Gods predicted that the highest Level a mortal could reach would be 10 if they were talented, lived long, and had guidance. Now, they never asked the question 'What next?'

I just answered it. The maximum level depends on the person. Someone might stay stuck at Level 1 forever while some might be stuck at 5. I am currently at level 1482 and it's still rising. Oh, that's 1483. Oh, and my maximum stats are something like 9999, you do the math. I am currently experiencing a massive, as in MASSIVE, boost in all of my parameters. I am surprised I haven't folded the spaceship in half with my steps. It took one whole hour for my level to stop rising. Checking with one of those papers, I saw a monstrous number: 79536. Almost level 80000 and it can still rise if I get a better body. Now that I think about it, my body automatically cultivates, so I theoretically don't have a limit. Pretty nice. Oh, look at that, I even have basically any skill I would ever need and more. Now, how do I move without destroying everything? I don't know, so I will trasmat to the ground and do some light exercise to learn how to control my newfound strength. Where is my limiter skill? Nowhere, that's where.

I landed on the ground of the training area where I sparred earlier in the day and started running. It seriously felt like using space-shrinking technology, I took what felt like a normal step and I was on the other side of the training ground. It makes no sense at all. But I kinda dig it, to reference a certain funky trumpet guy.

I mean, imagine when fighting and you take one step to appear in front of everyone, then you say 'What's up, bitches!' and you blast them all into oblivion. Ok, stop, no childish thoughts, I'm a grown ass man in my mid 20's now.

It took me another hour to finish my training. I could finally control my strength output. I did have Eternal Arms Mastery for my body, but it still took time to actually 'master' it. Details, don't sweat it. Such a sudden boost in strength would throw off anybody. 'Oh, I know another thing I want to do! I will digitize that fucking piece of paper, so that I can project it through my wrist holograms. That will be much better for me. And… Done. Oh, I should also somehow find a way to check the date in other universes. I have the signal from the waypoint satellites, so it should be doable.' I tinkered a little with MoonRay and my interface until I got a new set of dates with a symbol for each universe: Destiny was, well, the Destiny game logo, RWBY was a gem, Harry Potter had a wand.

With that done, I checked the time in this universe. I was a little late, but still went to get dinner. I found the gang on the ship still doing their own things and went to eat. Problem is: nobody told us where to go. Well, I did a quick scan with my portable scanners and found where the majority of the people were. We quickly found our way through the manor thanks to a rough map made by our Ghosts. When we arrived, the whole fucking room turned around.

"I know we are extremely cool, but you're making me blush." I said.

A couple laughed and turned around. Then, I saw a little kid, even younger than little Harry in the Potterverse. Weiss followed my line of sight and saw her. She apparated behind the poor child and started strangl- I mean hugging her. She started repeating things like 'How cute!' and 'Please come with me.' I guess I need to find a way to have kids, huh?

"Weiss, my dear… You're killing her." I said and she snapped out of it. I went close to the kid and kneeled down a little since she was pretty small, around a meter, maybe a meter 10. I was almost a full meter higher than her with boots and all.

"Hello there, what's your name?"

"Ais."

"I see. Nice to meet you Ais. Did this girl scare you?" she shook her head. "That's good. Weiss loves kids. Have you already eaten?" she shook her head again. "Then want to sit with us, Weiss would love it."

Ais thought a little and then agreed. I offered the little girl a hand, which she grabbed. I had the impulse to shout 'Loki, I'm taking her with me!' and just leave, but I persisted. Kidnapping isn't my thing. We reached the rest of the gang and got a table. If you are still wondering where we are and how dinner works in the Loki Familia, let me tell you. We are in a canteen-style room, basically the Great Hall from Harry Potter, just smaller, and there is a team of cooks that prepares breakfast, lunch, and dinner for anyone in the Familia, similar to house-elves but better looking, I hope.

When we sat down, I looked at the ceiling and had an idea thinking back to the Potterverse.

"Ais, do you like stars?" she looked confused, but nodded the same. I waved my hand and just above our table, an illusion of space with stars, nebulas, gaseous clusters, and so on appeared. Ais was still staring at my hand, so I pointed upwards. When she saw the illusion, she was shocked. Same with everyone else in the canteen. "That is space. It's a really nice place."

'I think I have a soft spot for cute little girls. Can I adopt her? I kinda want to, so I will. If she wants. Again, kidnapping isn't my thing.' Anyway, we began eating. Yang, Ruby, and Weiss did hog Ais, but all four seemed pretty happy, so it will be fine. And, yes, even Ais had a small smile on her face. 'I should really check the interface for some new disadvantage regarding little girls. That sounded wrong, but I mean that smile. It's precious, I need to protect it. That's the feeling I get. More or less like Weiss back in RWBY.'

Then I remembered Loki back in her office, so I opened a spatial gate to her place.

"Hey, you want to come and eat? I can even speed you up so it will take less time." I offered.

"Ugh, I don't even want to think. Sure, come and get me." She said while raising her arms. I used one of my Light clones, which I hadn't used in years, to go and get her. I heaved her up like a sack of potatoes, though it was still gentle. I would never hurt a girl who isn't an enemy or if absolutely necessary for a perfect plan.

I'm digressing. I brought Loki through the gate to the canteen and sat her next to me and the gang plus Ais. She was barely awake, so I gave her some neutral flavored coffee: keeps you awake without ruining your meal, literally tastes of water. She took the cup and drank everything, then shot awake.

"How am I here?"

"I asked you if you wanted to eat and you said yes, so here you are." I said. All the while I was ignoring the stares from the other members of the Familia.

Loki nodded and started eating quickly. She even started coughing. Is this really a Goddess? Well, I passed her some water and made sure she wouldn't die, so that's fine. Until she finished eating and had a smirk on her face. At that point, I honestly wished she had died of asphyxiation.

"Anyway, where are my manners." She said and turned to the rest of the Familia. "These ten Adventurers over here are the new members of our Familia, they joined today! And, breaking news! They went from Level 1 to Level 3 in one day! How crazy is that, right?"

Yep, definitely wish she had died. "I offered you coffee, how could you? I'm hurt, little girl."

"Yeah, you did and I got addicted to it. So thank you for nothing, random guy."

"Fine, then can I adopt Ais here? Actually, I should first ask her and I want no complaints if she accepts."

Loki pulled a little away and had a fake disgusted look. "I didn't know you were into little girls, I have misjudged you."

I think a tic mark might have appeared on my head. "Loki, do you want to get punched or drink super bitter coffee?" I said, holding a closed fist up along with a cup of coffee.

"Are you kidding?! I will die if you punch me! The coffee at least won't kill me… Right?" She asked and I smiled in response.

"Pick your poison."

On a side note, Weiss had read my mind and was trying to convince Ais to become our child. Or at least her little sister. Ah, the onee-san curse flows deep in the Schnee veins. I ignored the Goddess writhing on the ground after having drunk some super bitter coffee, Ozpin special. Don't know how the hell he drinks that stuff, it's basically poison.

One way or another, we managed to finish our dinner disregarding all the questions, stares, and sometimes insults that came at us. I did have to shoot a couple of times in the ceiling to shut them up though, as Ais was getting a little uncomfortable. Wait, did I seriously do that? Fucking hell, cute girls will be the death of me at this rate. I quickly checked my interface and found a new voice under the Disadvantages voice: 'Overprotective'. It's this thing that is causing me to act strangely. I don't deny that Ais is really cute and precious, but shooting to shut people up? Not my thing. Shooting people in the knees? My thing.

Well, Weiss managed to convince Ais to sleep with her, Yang, and Ruby. And they are going to sleep on the ship since 'medieval' beds really don't work for us. This basically decided that Ais will be coming with us. I got Loki up with a very sweet and boozy pick-me-up. Don't mind the fact that she almost got alcohol poisoning, those are details.

As I was saying, Ais will sleep with my wives on the ship, so again kneeled a little and pat her head.

"Ais, we are going to go where we usually sleep, will you hold my hand so I can bring you there?" She nodded and made a cute 'Un' sound. This universe is finally going to kill me, I see. She grabbed hold of my hand and we trasmated to the ship. Ais was finally a little scared at the sudden change in scenery. I don't want her to be afraid, but she's showing some emotion at least. Well, she was happy before, during dinner, so it's the second time she shows emotion today. That's a win for me.

"Don't worry. This is my friends' and my house. Here, why don't you follow Weiss? She can show you around." As I finished, she tightened the grip on my hand. And said "You."

And what can I do? I took her and put her on my shoulders and gave her a tour of the ship. I made sure she didn't bump her head anywhere, by the way. I showed her the rooms, the library, the workshop, the armory, which she particularly enjoyed, the treasury, which interested her less, the greenhouse, which she liked, and finally the bar, where I got her a nice glass of milk and some cookies, because good girls deserve it. Fuck that 'Overprotective' disadvantage, it's making me strange.

Ais wasn't tired yet, so I brough her to the library, placed her on my lap, and read her a story. We looted a lot of different books, including some rare editions of old epics and other such stories. I don't know when, but Ais fell asleep on me, so I signaled to my wives that I would sleep here, and they could take her to the bedroom. The little girl was stuck to me though, so I ended up sleeping in bed with my wives and a little girl. Pretty darn nice, I must admit. Feels like family. I should totally find a way to have kids of my own.

The next day, I woke up to Ais staring at my face. I smiled and pat her head. "Good morning. Slept well?"

"Yes." She said, then her stomach growled. I checked the time and it was late.

"Sorry, I woke up late. Let's get you some breakfast now." I said and slowly got up so I wouldn't hurt the kid. I saw that Yang, Ruby, and Weiss were already out of bed, which made me wonder why they didn't already hog Ais. Might have something to do with me, I have this feeling. Probably went full papa-mode and 'protected' Ais while sleeping. Yes, sounds like something I would do, at least from now on.

I arrived in the common room to see Pyrrha, Blake, and Weiss reading in the library, Ren and Ruby in the greenhouse, Yang and Jaune at the table talking to their families with the interdimensional communicator. Huh, first time those get used. Oh, and Sun was cooking breakfast. I sat Ais on a stool at the bar and started whipping up some breakfast for her. Cookies, milk, some nuts, some fruit, bread, jam, anything she could possibly like. After that, I helped Sun in finishing up breakfast for the gang while keeping an eye on the kid (the actually smol one, not Sun).

I saw that she liked the cookies and milk, the nuts less. She completely ignored the fruits, though I should try cutting them in some funny shape. She also tried the Nutella I got in the Potterverse. That seemed to be the absolute winner. Obviously, everybody loves Nutella. 'Note to self: prepare Nutella cake.' Can I do it? No. Will I do it? Absolutely yes.

Anyway, we enjoyed our little breakfast and prepared to go back to the mansion. I left Ais with Weiss a moment, as she seemed to like her best after me, and went to check on Loki. I found her in her office, this time sipping on some coffee. I checked on her since I kinda left her half-drunk in the canteen.

"Hey, Loki… You alright?"

She seemed to snap out of her thoughts and turned towards me.

"Oh, Tula. Yeah, I'm alright. Thank you for yesterday, I usually eat here alone or with Riveria. It's been a long time since I ate with the others." She said.

That actually made me feel a bit sad for her, so I created an enchanted thermos of Ozpin coffee, the really good one. It's a lot and won't get cold.

"First of all, don't isolate yourself. Second, here, some of the good coffee. Third, no problem. Fourth, I came here to tell you that I am taking Ais in the Dungeon with my group, so don't worry if you don't see her around. Byebye!"

I did hear an 'Idiot' from behind, but I ignored it.

'So, how did I end up like this?' I thought, while being hugged by a crying little girl.

Let's turn time back a bit.

After talking with Loki, I went back to the ship and was immediately hugged by Ais. She jumped at me, so I had to catch her.

"Hey… What happened Ais?" I asked while patting her head. She didn't respond so I ended up checking her surface thoughts. To sum them up real quick: 'Don't leave me ever again!'

'Deal, where can I sign for custody?' I thought and hugged her back a little tighter. As always, not enough to hurt or feel uncomfortable, just the opposite.

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. If you want, you can follow me from now on, so you can see how awesome I am. And, you see, all these guys and girls with me here are really amazing as well and really kind." I said, stroking her head. I already perfected my head-patting and hair-stroking technique, no one can beat me now.

She relaxed a little and let out a couple of tears, which then became full-blown crying.

And that, kids, is how I met your mo- Wait, wrong series and extremely disturbing thought. Having kids with my daughter? What is this? Alabama?

Let's try again. And that is how I ended up being hugged by a crying little girl.

"Shh, shh… Don't worry… I'll be with you forever if you want. Don't cry, Ais…" I started saying, repeating it over and over for a while before managing to calm her down. "Everything alright now?" she nodded. "Good, good…"

I then thought about it for a little. "Hey, Ais. Do you want to become my daughter?"

I think I heard a panel of glass breaking. Weiss, Yang, and Ruby ran up to me and Ais and started a group hug, showering her with lots of kisses. Ais started crying again while gripping my clothes and saying 'Yes!' over and over again.

Well, daughter gained. This is lovely. The rest of the gang looked on with smiles. She is adorable, after all.

In total, it took an hour for Ais to calm down and start putting together the pieces. She then stuck to me worse than rust. In the end, I will not go into the dungeon today and spend the day with my dear daughter in the city. She tentatively called me 'Dad', though she would refuse to call any of my three wives 'Mom'. She settled on 'Big sis', and it was adorable.

Anyway, she said goodbye to her new big sisters and the gang, then we trasmated to the ground. I decided to bring her to the East main street, since there are a lot of shops and stalls and they make for a very lively place. Well, Ais didn't really care and just sat on my shoulders hugging my head. This poor child became ice cold and incapable of feeling much apart from hatred due to the years spent doing nothing but fighting. Like hell I would let that happen. I will make sure my daughter has all the love and affection she needs, probably even more.

We were walking through the street and I was using my eye power to check on her reactions, to see what attracted her attention, similarly to what I usually did when going on dates with the girls. This time however, I directly bought anything she seemed to like. This mainly included food and some accessories: candy, nuts, chocolate, ribbons, a bracelet. All sorts of things. I have a shit-ton of money thanks to yesterday's dungeon run, so I can spend a lot.

After those things came clothes. Ais was working as a supporter for a while and Loki did treat her very well. However, she was never 'interested' in clothing. In reality, she was interested, it's just that the ones she was made to try on were always low to mid-grade stuff. I can't have that. I can obviously make better clothing, but I want her to experience 'shopping', at least a little.

Anyway, we went to the best clothing store I managed to find scouring the females' heads. There, I quickly found that Ais isn't really a frilly dress kind of girl. She likes either really simple dresses or just the DanMachi equivalent of jeans and sweater. I bought anything that made her face change a little, since that was a sign she liked the clothes. Ais really doesn't like to speak much. Oh, I have some engrams from the monsters on the 24th floor from yesterday, which means I will sneakily substitute the clothes we bought with identical ones of far higher quality. No way am I letting my daughter wear such clothes that bring absolutely no protection. A big no-no.

Well, Ais had enough of shopping and it was getting close to lunch time. I sent a message to the gang. They were going to come up soon, so I got a place for us at the Hostess of Fertility. This pub should be pretty good according to the locals' memories, which means good enough for us. While waiting, I ordered something light for Ais, while I got some booze. I can't get drunk anyway and wanted to test this universe's alcohol. It wasn't very good. In reality, it was more like something was missing. I think I got too used to modern stuff. Luckily I have a pretty large stash and can theoretically go back to a certain universe and stock up. It will be hard, but I could search for the Food Wars universe and stock up there… Maybe I should.

What was I saying? Ah, yes. I got a place for the ten of us plus Ais, though she would most likely sit on my lap, and waited. The gang arrived after about 15 minutes, so they sat, placed their order then began telling us about their adventure. They didn't want to go too far without me, so they just went to the 27th floor. They also found the Leviathan's remains with the Ghosts, so I will be able to analyze it tomorrow. A legendary beasts' materials must be pretty good. Ais got fed by Weiss, who was really getting into her role as a 'mom'. Our happy little lunch got rudely interrupted by an adventurer group that was obviously drunk and looking for trouble. I didn't even look at them and shot them all with my hand cannon. Potions should be able to heal them.

I had casted a little barrier over Ais so that she wouldn't see or hear them. I also used magic to throw them out of the establishment. Ais got a little sleepy, so she sat on my lap and laid her head on my torso, then slept peacefully.

My second day in this universe continued with a visit to the Hephaestus Familia workshops in the tower of Babel. I checked every single piece and I must say, I'm impressed. There are some materials that are very unique and extremely useful to me. I have been wanting to modify the ship in a certain way for a while now, but I wasn't sure the material would be good enough. Now, if I make yet another super material, it should work out no problem. I also located the materials' warehouse, so that I can visit it and check on the things I couldn't find in the shops. I also want to see a Goddess' work, since it might have some particular forging method that could make my gang's gear even better. Ais was particularly interested in very lightweight swords and rapiers, which gave me an idea about what to gift her. Oh, and… No way am I letting my daughter go out in a skimpy outfit like that in canon. Nope, she'll get armor like the rest of us.

That night, Ais fell asleep on me again. This time though, I set an alarm so that I wake up in time. I want to reach floor 36 today and will also bring my dear daughter with me.