A Mother's Love

"For the Watch."

He felt his flesh being pierced.

"For the Watch."

Again.

"For the Watch."

And Again.

"For the Watch."

And Again.

His body hit the cold hard ground as he gasped for air despite his pierced lungs. He felt himself being enveloped by a warm liquid, he realized quick enough that it was a puddle of his own blood.

Jon Snow, son of Eddard Stark and Lord Commander of the Night's Watch felt his life slowly leave his body as fatigue was spreading through his muscles.

It was so strange… To see his life flash before his eyes as his vision became blurry. He remembered Winterfell, he remembered his father, his brothers, his sisters, Ghost, Ygritte…

Jon found that he didn't care as much as she should have that he was dying. He felt relief, he had fought so much, so hard. He had felt so much pain when he learned of his father's demise and of the Red Wedding. His heart had been ripped from his chest when Ygritte had died. But now… he was going to see them again…

As his eyes closed, Jon found that he had no regret, he had lived an honorable life, he had always done what he thought was right, and if anyone would criticize him for falling for Ygritte, he'd punch them in the face and ask his love for forgiveness so he could feel her lips one more time.

He had earned this… To hell with the livings if their pride meant more to them than their survival. He would now rest, and let his past being washed away by his reunion with his loved ones.

Or so he had thought…

The next few seconds had been confusing, for Jon had felt his body being crushed in a fetal position as his eyes had been forced shut. He started to panic as he believed than an endless void would be his fate for eternity, yet, he suddenly felt a terrible pressure around his body. He tried to breath, but there was no air to fill his lungs, he tried to scream, but his mouth remained shut.

He thought he'd heard something, something that sounded like a voice. Was it one of the old gods ?

The next thing he heard was so kind of scream that seemed to have been muffled by a pillow. What in Seven Hells was happening to him?

The next second, he was born.

An air colder than he had ever felt when he traveled beyond the Wall bit his skin so hard that he screamed in horror. He felt gigantic hands carrying his body as exclamations he could not decipher resonated around him. He tried to struggle to get free of the giant that was holding him, but the creature's grip was firm, and as he shook his limbs as much as he could, he realized that he could barely move despite all his will!

"Seven hells!" A voice he'd never heard exclaimed. "That one is as wild as a wildling and as strong as a damn bull!"

Jon felt a blanket being rolled around his body, he tried to demand what was happening to him, but only cries and screams left his mouth.

"By the Seven!" growled a woman he did not know. "I've never seen a babe as feisty as that one, that's for sure."

"Your Grace!" another woman exclaimed. "You're not done yet! There is another one!"

"Another one?! " Queen Alicent Hightower gasped in horror before she was dictated to push again.

Jon felt himself being forcefully immersed into a bath as he kept screaming in confusion. Yet, the soft hands that washed his body managed to calm him down a little, and made him realized in horror that he was as tiny as a newborn! While he struggled to understand what was happening to him, he heard a woman scream the most terrifying and painful scream he has ever heard in his entire existence. Chills were sent down his spine, this was worse than any White Walkers' screech! Fortunately, it didn't last long for the young woman's scream to cease and be replaced by a child's wail that weren't Jon's.

Alicent Hightower let out a long and deep sigh of relief as she felt her second born leave her belly. Her head crashed on her pillow, her sheets were covered in sweat and blood, but she didn't care, he long labor had finally ended.

"Congratulations Your Grace!" One of the midwives said in delight. « You gave birth to twin boys! »

"Twin boys," she thought as she weakly reopened her eyes. "No wonder they were so hard to deliver."

"Where are they?" She demanded once she started to regain her senses. "Where are my sons?"

"Here is your firstborn, Your Grace." The oldest midwife approached her with a fully cleaned Jon in her arms. "Your second born must be bathed before being brought to you."

Alicent merely nodded, too eager to meet her first child. She almost snatched him from the woman's arms and took her time to admire him.

Jon had stopped wailing out of confusion, did that person, that woman just call him… 'her firstborn'? Was he about to meet his mother?! Had the Old Gods gifted him with a second birth?!

Desperate to finally get answers, he mustered all the strength his body could give him, and unsealed his eyelids.

The first person he saw was a young woman of fifteen… perhaps sixteen namedays at most. Which confused him even more, she was so young! Sansa couldn't have been older than her, yet… the warmth he saw in her eyes and the beautiful smile she gave him melted his heart in an instant.

Alicent felt tears of joy run down her cheeks as she was holding her first child for the first time in her young life. She almost laughed when she saw his curious look and his frowned little silver eyebrows, he was just so perfect!

"Hello little one," she greeted as she scrubbed her cheek against his forehead. "I'm your mother…"

Jon himself felt tears of joy fill his eyes, he had dreamed of this moment his entire life! He couldn't recall how many times he had begged the Old Gods for a mother! And now… now… after all his efforts and all his pains. He was finally rewarded… A second life… and a real loving mother… Jon truly couldn't have asked for more.

"Oh! Don't cry little one!" Alicent urged as she felt his tears against her cheek and immediately started to rock him gently. "Mommy loves you very much."

Unknown to her, her words had struck Jon's heart harder than a giant's fist, and he cried even more as he bathed in all the joy and love his mother was giving him.

Unfortunately, the moment was partially ruined when his crying twin brother was brought by another midwife after his bath. Alicent had wanted to take him as well, but the exhaustion due to the birth had caught up to her. She simply didn't have enough strength to carry two babes at the same time, so she reluctantly gave Jon back to the oldest midwife and took her second born in her arms in order to calm him down.

Jon was very frustrated for having to leave his mother's arms so soon, but despite his rebirth, he hadn't become so petty to deny his new brother the same love and care she had shown him. He just hoped his turn would come back soon enough.

Yet, as the midwives kept congratulating the young woman for the safe delivery of her children, Jon heard the door open and loud footsteps echo in the room.

"Alicent!" He greeted with relief obvious in his voice. "Has the delivery been safe? Is the child healthy?"

"The children." she corrected with a smile. "Twin boys, my love. Both with your handsome Valyrian looks."

Viserys smiled and let out a sigh, of both relief and sadness, which slightly confused his wife. He came to sit next to her, to take a proper look at the child she was rocking.

"This must be our firstborn," he said. "His name shall be Aegon."

The sudden declaration cooled Alicent's joy like a blizzard on a fire camp, unable to contain herself, she glared at her husband with all the anger she was capable to muster, but he didn't register as he took his eyes off Aegon to look at his other son.

But this time, the Queen prevented him from opening his mouth.

"Actually, my love, Aegon is only your second son." she corrected with more pleasure than she cared to admit. "Jonothor here, is your firstborn son."

Viserys' eyebrows shot up in surprise when he realized his mistake, however, confusion quickly took over him as he turned back to his wife.

"Jonothor?" He repeated unconvinced.

"Jonothor." She repeated with more than enough conviction for the both of them.

The King released a sigh of defeat, then proceeded to get up in order to meet his firstborn son, the son he had always wanted.

"Jonothor Targaryen," he said as he took him from the midwife's arms, "That is a rather unique name…"

"Well… Our son is rather unique." Alicent argued.

"And you forced my hand since you named our second one without my consent." she thought with fury. "I carried them for nine months! I suffered for hours to deliver them! I should have been given the right to name them both by myself!"

Unknown to her, Jon wasn't nearly giving as much thought to his first name as his mother was, his last name and his new father's looks had completely blown his mind away.

"Targaryen?!" he inwardly screamed. "I'm a Targaryen?! Oh by the Old Gods! Why?!"

Perhaps the panic in his eyes was evident, for Viserys shot his wife an apologetic look.

"I don't think he likes it." He tried to argue.

But Alicent would not have it, with renewed vigor, she gave Aegon to a midwife and held out her arms to get her firstborn back. Viserys knew better than to argue and obeyed his Queen.

"Hello Jonothor," She said with the most tender smile Jon had ever seen. "Tell me, do you like your name?"

There was no place in his heart where he could have refused her, he just loved her so much already, and it truly was his name. Targaryens be damned, Jon would be a damn Lannister if it would mean he would get to be her son.

So he smiled and let out a cry of joy that turned into an adorable baby laugh. When he saw this, Viserys smiled warmly and conceded his defeat.

"Very well." he acknowledged as he turned to the maester. "Let it be known to the Realm that Queen Alicent has given birth to two healthy Princes; Prince Jonothor and Prince Aegon."

Jon felt a thunderbolt burst in his skull. Had his new father just called his mother Queen Alicent? Was his brother's name truly Aegon?!

"Oh no…" He thought when he started to realize what had happened to him. "No… No…"

"And have someone fetch the Princess Rhaenyra," Viserys added as he took Aegon in his arms. "She has to meet her new brothers."

"No…"

There was no room for a mistake… he hadn't just been reborn, he traveled almost two hundred years in the past. At a time where Dragons still roamed in Westeros, and were about to Dance one last time.

(-)(-)(-)

In the end, Rhaenyra had not come to meet her brothers. According to the gossip of the midwives and handmaidens, the Crown Princess had blatantly refused to enter a room where a woman had given birth because of the way her mother had died. And Jon perfectly understood that reason despite the fact that he was still trying to wrap his head around what was happening to him. However, being a newborn didn't give him nearly as much energy as he needed to truly think about his previous and his new life. Exhausted by his emotions, he almost immediately fell asleep when he was put in the nursery next to Aegon.

That night, he didn't dream of the Wall, he didn't dream of Winterfell, of Ned Stark are all of his Stark siblings. He dreamt of his mother. Of everything she had gifted him in the short amount of time they had spent together, of all the love he had felt when she scrubbed his forehead with her cheek.

Jon didn't know what his life as a Targaryen Prince during the Dance of the Dragons would be, but he would eternally grateful to the old Gods for having given him the love he craved his entire previous life.

Unfortunately, his dreams were shorten when Aegon cried in hunger in the middle of the night. Now fully awake, Jon realized that he too, was hungry, yet he was too embarrassed to cry like his brother. He would just wait for the nannies to arrive, and blushed in anticipation of being breastfed.

The nannies didn't take long, their quarters were right next to the nursery after all, and soon enough, both Aegon and Jon were given their midnight meal.

Jon could help the flush when a young nanny of eighteen namedays had presented her pink nipple to him, and he also couldn't stop himself from drinking the delicious meal that had awaited him inside the breast. He honestly couldn't recall how long his supper had lasted, it was to enjoyable for him to care. On the other hand, he truly felt sorry and embarrassed when the nanny made him burp, for he had vomited a little on her dress but she had laughed it out and had put him back in his crib with a kiss on the forehead. Honestly, as far as he could tell, Jon never had this much attention and care in a single day and he loved it.

He yawned once alone and had tried to take a look at his brother, but it was too dark and his body was surprisingly hard to move. So he had closed his eyes and try to return to his dreams. But an unexpected visitor invited herself in the nursery, with a candle in her hand.

Jon suddenly felt being picked up and almost panicked when he met a set of beautiful and inquisitive purple eyes. It didn't take long for him to identify his new older sister.

Rhaenyra was perhaps even more beautiful than the tales about her beauty had described her, and Jon had inspected her just as much as she had inspected him. As far as he could tell, she didn't seem as bothered by his existence as he might have thought. But she did look sad, and her new brother wasn't sure why.

"You must be Jonothor," she whispered. "The firstborn son, Father had always wanted."

Jon frowned, if their father had always wanted a son, why did he keep Rhaenyra as heir?

Rhaenyra actually chuckled when she saw his frown, she spared Aegon a look before coming back to him.

"If only you had come earlier… from a different womb… then everything would have been so easier…"

For a terrifying second, Jon thought that his sister hated him simply because they didn't have the same mother, the same reason he had been hated for in his previous life.

But when Rhaenyra started to gently rock him, his worries were put to rest.

"You know…" she kept whispering. "As far as I could remember, Father had always wanted a son, so much so that he kept pushing my mother until she died trying."

Jon couldn't believe what he had just heard.

"When she died… I think he tried to atone by naming me heir… and I forgave him… Despite the fact that I wasn't sure if I truly wanted the throne. I think I just wanted my father to see me for what I was; his firstborn child."

Now Jon understood what she was trying to say, in a way Rhaenyra and him were not so different. Just like her, Jon had wanted Lord Stark to acknowledge him despite the fact that he was a bastard, to see him as his son like he did with Robb, Bran and Rickon, not just a slight to his lady wife. His new sister was the same, she had wanted her father to acknowledge her despite the fact that she is a girl.

"And for a time… " She continued. "I was happy somehow, happy to had become so important in my father's eyes and to the Realm… I felt more acknowledged that I had ever been."

Jon felt her tears fall on his face, he blinked his purple eyes to keep them open.

"And then… not even six moons after my mother's death, my best friend became my stepmother." She snarled with a bitter tone. "And less than a year later, she gifted my father with not one, but two sons. And I can't help… I can't help but feel that everything I've gained since my mother died has been taken from me, that her sacrifice was for nothing. That in the End, life will go on and I will be forgotten, without even a mother to wash away my sorrows and be there for me when I need her."

Jon understood, Gods he understood… This wasn't just a simple business of succession, this was about family.

In his previous life Jon had dreamt of becoming Lord of Winterfell, not for the prestige or for ambition, but for all the love and attention that Robb had received. He had never wanted to usurp his brother, hells, he had joined the Night's Watch to prove so; to prove that he was more than a greedy bastard, and to receive his Father's approval and the pride of rising high in an ancient order. But deep down, he knew he would have exchanged all of this for the confort and the love of a mother. What else would he have needed? What would he have had to prove if he had been a true born son of House Stark with a loving mother by his side, like his siblings?

'Many things', Lord Stark would have said, but meaningless compared to what he had tried to prove in his previous life.

Now… Now he realized that the roles had been reversed. By becoming the King's first born son -Gods, he still couldn't wrap his head around that… him? A prince?- he had overshadowed Rhaenyra the moment he had drawn breath. He had everything Rhaenyra wanted, but above all, he now had a mother. Something that his new sister had lost… For nothing… now that he and his brother existed.

Jon couldn't help but feel bad, was that what Robb had felt whenever he was called 'Snow' or 'Bastard'? It wasn't his fault, he hadn't done anything, yet he felt bad for overshadowing Rhaenyra. Despite the Fact that she was still heir to the throne, what else did she have that would fill her life with love? Maester Aemon's words resonated in his now tiny skull:

"What is honor compared to a woman's love? What is duty against the feel of a newborn son in your arms . . . or the memory of a brother's smile? Wind and words. Wind and words. We are only human, and the gods have fashioned us for love. That is our great glory, and our great tragedy."

"What is a throne of swords compared to a mother's love?" Jon thought while he raised his baby hands towards Rhaenyra's crying face. "What does a ruler gain from all of his duties but a loveless marriage, constant threats and constant criticism?"

That's what the title of Lord Commander had brought him, knives to his heart for doing his duty to the Realm of the living.

Rhaenyra frowned in surprise when she felt her brother's tiny hands reach her cheeks, and widened her eyes when she realized that he was clumsily wiping her tears away. She opened her mouth, but Jon's smile and adorable little laugh melted her heart in a second.

Ultimately, Jon was only a baby, there wasn't much he could give to his new sister. But now, in this new life, with a new family, after years of service at the Wall without a family, he had love to spare.

Rhaenyra couldn't even possibly start to comprehend what had just happened, the only thing she knew is that she felt a warmth in her heart that she hadn't felt in a long time. And for a moment, she did feel her worries and sorrows being washed away by her little baby half-brother. A long and deep sigh of relief escaped her lips, she laughed in delight as she almost crushed him in a bear hug.

"Thank you," she whispered sincerely, "you're not that bad."

Slowly, she put him back in his cradle with a kiss to the cheek, then she turned to look at Aegon, but realized that her younger brother was asleep and chose not to disturb him. The Princess of Dragonstone, left the nursery quietly, sparing one last glance at Jonothor before leaving him to rest.

Jon felt a rare satisfaction fill his tiny body. His new life might not be what he could have asked for, and nothing would ever replace his pack in his heart. However, he now knew he had a purpose, a new family that needed him. A pack that needed his protection. He would make things right, not just for them, but to prepare the Realm for the Long Night better than he ever could at the Wall.