They’re back!
Bea's POV
-8am
I wake up and Josh is beside me. I'm so mad at him for coming in drunk. He needs to understand that he can't just use alcohol as an escape when things get tough.
I want him to know that drinking too much has consequences and that it's not okay for him to just do it whenever he feels like it. I need him to understand that when he drinks it doesn't only affect him, it affects me too.
Last night, I noticed that Josh was defending Stephanie more than he has ever defended me. He was protective of her and willing to go to bat for her if necessary.
It made me wonder if maybe, just maybe, Josh still had feelings for her.
It's possible that Josh was just being a good friend to Stephanie and that was all there was to it. But the thought still lingered in the back of my mind. Am I overthinking this, or is there something more to it?
"Goodmorning," he turns to face me
I ignore him.
"Bea," he leans closer, "Babe, what's wrong?"
I roll my eyes-
"Bea, what the fuck is the problem?"
"Josh, calm dow-"
"No, tell me."
"I'm not saying anything unless you lower your voice,"
"Ok, I'm sorry. I've got such a bad headache-"
"That's the problem."
"My headache is the fucking problem?"
"Last night, the drinking, the fight we had about Steph."
He just stares at me, as if I was speaking a different language.
"You don't remember, do you?"
"I- I do. I just remember you getting mad at Steph for no reason."
"She called me a fucking slut Josh-"
"And? She was drunk-"
"Of course, you're making excuses. Because you love her-"
"Yeah, I do love her as a friend. Is that a problem?"
"You love her more than me."
"Why do you think that?"
"I don't think that, I know."
I sit up, "Josh, can we just drop the subject."
"Yeah, it was a stupid one anyways," he mutters to himself.
"See? This is what I mean."
"What. What is the problem now?"
"You don't understand this-"
"Bea, you need to calm down," he goes down the side of the bed to drink-
"Vodka?"
Is he being serious right now.
"Why is it nearly finished?"
"Because I was just drinking it."
"You- you are the problem in this relationship Josh."
"Maybe I'm better off being with Steph."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means, I'm done. I'm fed up."
Someone knocks,
"Come in!"
It's Ryan, just to make everything better.
"Hey guys, everything okay?"
Josh shakes his head, "I think we're done."
"Wow, already Josh?" I look at him,
"Bea, you did this."
"I'm - I'm not even going to get into this."
"Well, sorry guys. I mean this kind of shows that you and I were better together Bea."
"Sexually or emotionally? Because that is two different converstaions."
Josh pats Ryan on the back, "Sorry bro, but I tick the first box."
"You guys are funny, how are you feeling after last night with Steph."
"Well I walked out, thanks for covering my mouth Bea."
"Anytime,"
"But I haven't talked to her, so I think we need to talk."
"Why don't we all have lunch together today?"
"I don't feel like sitting with Steph-"
"You'll be fine Bea, you have Josh."
Do I?
"Yeah, I guess."
--12pm
It's lunch, we're all sitting down. It's very, very awkward.
"So. How was last night?" Grace asks
Her and Theo are oblivious to the events that happened last night because they left the second everything got out of hand.
"It was gr-"
"Oh it's Bea, answering for everyone. Once again."
"Steph, jealousy doesn't look good on you."
"You want my ex, don't you?"
"Girl, it's impossible to want what you already have."
"Wha- what."
"Yes, Steph. I know, it's shocking to hear."
"Bea, I don't care."
"But you obviously do if-"
"Guys, just drop it." Josh slams the table.
——————————————————————————
Josh's POV
Honestly, I've had enough. I mean I love Steph, as a friend, and I always will. But I can't do this, I can't always defend everything she says and does. It's not fair on Bea. I only defended her last night because-
"What's wrong?" Bea leans closer
"No- no it's nothing." I leave the table
She runs after me, "Wait!"
"Josh, are you okay?"
"No. I'm not," and I break down.
It's as if all my thoughts and feelings were let out, tear by tear. It was the first time, I could be sad and sober at the same time.
"What's wrong?"
"Why do you think my parents are always away on business trips?"
"What do you mean?"
"Why do you think I'm always at home by myself? It's because they can't stand each other,"
Bea stares at me confused
"Bea, my dad used to beat my mum."
She gasps, "Josh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know."
"It's fine, but- that's why I don't like physical arguments."
"I know you thought I was defending Steph, but honestly- you were about to hurt her."
"Josh, I'm so sorry. I- I didn't know you felt that way."
"Well, that's why I drink."
"And you need to stop."
"Yeah, I know."
"Wow! That was easy. Why the change of heart?"
"I don't need alcohol or any other substance when I have the best girlfriend."
"Oh, so I'm your girlfriend now?"
"Yeah," we walk back to the table
Ryan and Steph are fighting-
"Don't be fucking stupid. Where did you go last night?"
"I was with the boy from the night before,"
"You are just a-"
"A slut? A whore? At least I'm not pathetically in love with someone who is in love with someone else."
"Steph."
"Ryan. What's the problem? Did I embarrass you?"
"I don't think we need to be together."
"We don't."
That was short and sweet.
Theo gives me a look, "Wanna go for a walk?"
"How's it going Theo?"
"Well. I've got big news."
"Bro, what."
"I'm going to ask Grace to be my girlfriend"
That is a very- big step. That's one way to put it. Grace is a girl of many wants and needs, she is... a lot.
"I'm happy for you."
"Thanks. How's everything going with you?"
"I told Bea about my Dad."
"And?"
"She was confused at first, but she's very comforting."
Theo smiles, "Bro."
"What's wrong?"
"You're in love."
"I know. I'm a mess."
"Yeah, but it's a nice mess. I wanna get to this level with Grace."
Grace and Bea walk over, "Did I hear my name?"
"Where's Ryan and Steph?"
"They're getting more drunk and more angry."
"Steph threw vodka in his face," Grace chuckles
"Let's go the beach."
-5pm
The sun is setting at the beach, painting the sky with a breathtaking array of colours. It's a peaceful night, with the sound of the waves lapping against the shore.
I'm here with Bea, and together we enjoy the beauty of the moment. Theo is smiling at Grace, and I can't help but smile too. Everyone is just so happy.
The sky is clear and the stars begin to twinkle in the night sky.
Bea turns to me, "Can we start over?"
"From what?"
"Well I made you upset, I didn't mean to get violent with Steph."
"Aww Bea," I kiss her gently, "we can start over."
She puts her hand out, "Hi I'm Bea."
"I'm Josh, you're fucking boyfriend."
I kiss her and I don't care who's watching.
My fingers are tangled in her hair, and my lips are pressed against hers.
Her tongue touches mine. And then another time. Another touch. A little more pressure each time until I'm kissing her with everything I have.
Every ounce of passion and desire has been building up inside me for months now, and she is releasing it all at once. This girl is making me lose control. It feels amazing and terrifying at the same time.
Maybe she is the love of my life.