6. New Recruits (Are Big Problems, Really)

As a apology for the very late update, I present to you... a chapter with nearly impeccable grammar, okay-ish plot, and somewhat smooth flow! Well, sort of. Like I said (or, at least, I think I did), I'm new at this and I have no idea how bureaucracy goes. At the very least, it's decently long. Behold! My newest chapter yet!

Despite whatever others may claim about Tony, he was not a thief. What need did he have for stealing? He had more money than many others could even dream of seeing within their entire lifetime. Whatever technology he couldn't buy he could make himself, and those were sure to be even better than the original. His hands, the hands of the Merchant of Death, would always be stained red with the blood of innocents, but Tony had always been able to claim this small, moral standpoint.

One of the flaws in his character he was trying to correct was how he abided in the law. At the beginning of his superhero gig, Tony had broken quite a lot of laws, and not only in the United States. For one, there were all those illegal entries into foreign countries while heavily armed. He was pretty sure that counted as an invasion. Also, he had hacked his way into everything, everywhere. SHIELD held honor of being the main target, but he'd hacked into several different institutions during the Senate hearing where they tried to take his suit. But, hey! He never stole the designs he came across while having JARVIS comb through the information, so that was something.

Anyways, it was this small ideal that had him ask FRIDAY's to tone down her actions. Originally, FRIDAY had wanted to tweak some bank accounts to give him a bit more cash, maybe change the information the Bounty Hunters' Guild had to make him more successful. Instead, Tony merely had her change the date he 'joined' the Guild to a couple months previous. It wasn't exactly legal, but they didn't make the act of retroactively changing the membership date illegal yet, at least in the Hutt sector. Again, it's not like they really enforced anything except 'don't mess with the Hutts.' Even that was enforced by bounties.

If anything, Tony could at least claim he followed the word of the law, if not the intent.

While FRIDAY was busy with this task, Tony was left with the crew. The droids and AIs here had nothing on FRIDAY. His girl was superior. FRIDAY could definitely tear through the sturdy firewalls and protection protocols, but it wouldn't go unnoticed. Because of this, most of her concentration was on bouncing through different satellites to the mainframe of this sector of the Guild and slowly easing her way into the information. Tony had enough time on his hands to get bored.

"How are we with getting everyone ordered?" he asked, artfully avoiding his responsibilities by definitely-not-hiding underneath a console. He was studying it.

"We have a problem, captain," Suffee answered. "Many of the slaves have nowhere to go. Most of them are agreeable to being dropped off in Corellia, but..."

"They have no funds and would probably get mugged and die of starvation, if not immediately get snatched back into slavery if we let them go right now," Tony guessed. He heard a couple of snorts through the open communication line.

"Do not be so crass," Suffee scolded.

"It's not like I said a bad word. I'm just being honest," Tony argued as he used a laser to cut even deeper into the underbelly of the unused console.

"Impressionable ears are listening," Suffee told him. Tony was about to deny this before embarrassedly remembering the fact that Gis was in fact a minor, despite it being clear that Gis had witnessed things that were much worse than simple truths. Not being privy to Tony's realizations, Suffee continued on, "As the captain and therefore the highest authority on this ship, it is your duty to see our guests settled in."

"Fine," Tony said agreeably. He tapped the earpiece twice to make sure FRIDAY was listening. "Mind putting me on the PA system?"

"You're on, boss."

"Greetings! I am Tony Stark, your captain for this trip. Welcome to Tony's OuterRim Extraction and Nuclear Agency of Intelligence and Learning, TOENAIL for short! We're a relatively new organization that specializes in doing stuff that other people are too lazy or incompetent to do. This includes freedom, justice, and all that higher ground things, such as freeing slaves, relocation, going to dangerous areas for the heck of it, and bounty hunting. Welcome aboard, and we do hope you enjoy your stay!" Tony flashed one of his brilliant playboy smiles, despite knowing that none of them could see him. It was basic psychology. Smile enough while feeling down and it'll start affecting your mood; you'll become more cheerful.

"Tony!" Suffee, shouted, scandalized. "You get-"

"Friday, turn off my line!" Tony hurriedly requested.

FRIDAY complied. After a moment, FRIDAY informed him, "Boss, Suffee is asking that I override and turn it back on."

"You can't do that, Fri. That would be an invasion of privacy." The entire ship tilted and Tony had to grab a metal piece to stop it from falling and beaning him in the head. "Friday?" he asked, wondering at the decrease in velocity. Did he really offend FRIDAY that much? "Is this ship turning?"

"Sorry, boss. There's a bigger bounty on our unwanted tagalongs in the next sector over."

"Oh. Okay, then. I trust you," Tony said, unconcernedly turning back to the mess of wires and circuits. He could definitely make this smaller.

"Stark," Suffee hissed from both the earpiece and somewhere very close by. Tony yelped and jumped as he realized the Rodian was right next to him, fumbling with the laser. It cut a ragged line right through his hand, reaching halfway across him palm. It began healing almost immediately, leaving nothing but a bloodied hand. His crew was already used to it from all the accidents he ran into at the shipyard. Throwing it a disinterested glance, Suffee grabbed his shoulder and steered him to the door. "You will get onto the cargo hold right now and talk to them."

-The rich, the powerful, like Stark, they don't care about us!-

Strolling into the cargo hold as if he ran the place, which he guessed he technically night, Tony clapped his hands twice. Those that caught his entry were already watching him, but those in small huddles, hushedly whispering, flinched at the sharp sound. Tony felt bad for the way they scrambled to compose themselves, but he had their attention.

"As you can probably tell from my voice, I'm your captain. Next to me is Suffee. You can ask him his full name, because I definitely don't know it. He's my second-in-command." Tony avoided Suffee's astonished eyes and continued, "We beat up the slavers that captured you and now have command of the ship. Our current objective is to reach a the Bounty Hunter's Guild to turn them in. At that time, those who choose to will be turned over to the authorities and transported home. If not, you're welcome to hitch a ride with us to any planet on the way to Corellia. You will all be given a small reimbursement to help you get onto your feet, but I don't know how much we can spare. I need to pay my crew and take care of the ship."

There were hushed whispers all around, but none of the newly-freed slaves took their eyes off of him. "They're all like this," Suffee informed Tony under his breath. The only reason Tony heard his voice was because FRIDAY was listening in and amplified Suffee's voice over the earpiece.

"How do we know you're telling the truth?" demanded a morbidly thin man, crossing his arms. Tony could see why Suffee wanted him there. These people were on the brink of rioting.

"We hogtied the evil slavers that were keeping you prisoner and we're giving you money from their bounties, food, board, and a ticket to another planet. It doesn't get much better than this."

"And what's to stop us from revolting and taking this ship ourselves?"

"Um... You don't know how to fly this thing, are basically on the edge of starvation, and have no weapons?" Tony blanked. Suffee elbowed him harshly. "Wait, no! That's not what I meant. We helped you!"

"A transfer of masters, nothing more," sneered the man, eyes blazing. He raised his forearms, showing off the iron cuffs still around his wrists. The whispers grew louder, turning into murmurs of agreement. Looking around, Tony realized that several of the locks were unable to be picked, leaving his crew no choice but to leave them on, cutting the chains with bolt cutters instead.

Tony considered the man's words. "Look, I don't know how to convince you that you're free," Tony admitted, turning slowly and meeting the eyes of every man, woman, and child in the room, regardless of species. They were aliens, but that didn't mean they weren't people. Pondering their slightly archaic, somewhat symbolic way of communicating, Tony quietly finished, "I have nothing but the faith in my heart and your captor's blood on my hands. I hope you will grow to understand that we really want to help you, but I understand if, after your ordeal, you don't. We'll help you, whether or not you trust us."

Raising his hands slowly, Tony showed them the red staining them. True, it wasn't exactly the slavers' blood, but they didn't know that. Giving them all a cordial nod, Tony turned on his heel and walked to the exit, nudging Suffee along. He wanted to trust them, but he didn't think that leaving a crew member alone with the confused, angry mob would be safe. Tony was okay with risking his own life, but not the wellbeing of those under his care.

Remembering something, he stopped and turned. "Catch," he called, tossing an item from his pocket at the ringleader. The man caught it and looked questioningly at the laser in his hands. "To free yourself," Tony explained, continuing on his path to the door. He paused for a moment, listening for any sign that they might have a change of heart regarding him. All there was, was dead silence.

Disappointed, Tony left.

Suffee stopped as soon as the door slid shut behind them, FRIDAY firmly locking it. Tony wasn't sure if she should've done that, since he had claimed they were now free. It made sense though. Protection.

"Second in command?" Suffee asked with a raised eyeridge.

"I trust you, you're one of the people I know the most, the crew respects you, and you're both knowledgeable and well-read," Tony listed off as an explanation.

"Gis?"

"He's too hot-headed. He may be my unofficial ward, but he's not going to get preferential treatment from me. He's got to earn it. Also, he's a kid," he responded. Suffee nodded in satisfaction and walked off.

As he walked back to what Shoragg claimed was the captain's quarters, Gis detached himself from the wall. "Whoa," Tony said, stumbling as he noticed his unexpected shadow. He wondered if Gis had overheard the conversation. "Didn't see you there. Did you meet our guests?"

Gis grunted self-depreciatingly in a way Tony recognized. Tony himself did it often enough.

"Really? You should meet them. They aren't so bad."

A discouraged whine that dipped before rising in pitch and a pointed look in his direction.

"Alright, you might have a point. I think they're just a little standoffish because I'm the highest authority around. They're just worried that I'll go back on my word," Tony murmured, casting his eyes onto the ground. "Were you listening over the earpiece? I should talk to FRIDAY about respecting privacy."

Gis let out a string of growls and whines.

"Okay, I have no idea what that means, actually." Tony eyed the Saurin, trying to decode his body language.

Repeating the phrase slowly while tapping himself on the chest with a clawed finger, Gis looked expectantly at Tony.

"I, uh, think you'll be fine. I mean, you're just a random crew member who happens to be a kid, so..." Tony shrugged.

Shoragg was walking past with a very similar-looking Rodian that could've either been his teenage kid or maybe a younger sibling. Truthfully, Tony hadn't been in the best of moods when they were taking over the starship and, as such, didn't remember a single new name. He was too embarrassed to ask and was hoping FRIDAY would lighten up and tell him someday soon. At the moment, FRIDAY was of the mind that it was his own fault and he should deal with the consequences himself. Tony was sure she'd tell him in a few days, though.

JARVIS could hold a grudge for much longer than FRIDAY, after all.

"Y' speak lizard language?" asked the other teenager on the ship, jabbing a thumb at Gis.

"Well, no," Tony admitted brusquely, wondering if calling a Trandoshan a 'lizard' would be offensive, seeing that Rodians were also rather scaly. "I haven't had the time to learn it yet. I've picked up a few words, but not enough to hold a decent conversation."

"Really? But you've known him for, like, years!" The Rodian stopped, turning to stare at Gis as he passed by.

"Hoviv!" snapped Shoragg as the younger Rodian jogged to catch up to Tony and Gis. "Manners!" Nope, that was definitely a father-son vibe he was feeling.

Now, Tony's sense of time may have been permanently skewed by roughly twenty straight years of science binges, boozes, and partying, but even he knew that this was wrong. "What? No! I knew him for weeks. A few months, at most!" He hid a guilty glance at Gis by pretending to examine the lounge they passed. Contrary to what he thought, Gis seemed unperturbed by both being called a lizard and the inadvertent implication that Tony did not care about him. Tony wasn't sure whether it was because he knew that Tony did care or because Gis didn't care.

"So how do you know what he's saying?" demanded Hoviv, no doubt trying to catch Tony in a lie. Ah, teenage rebellion, how he missed it. Harley rebelled against his mom, not the 'cool uncle' Tony perceived himself to be, and Peter's form of 'rebellion' included stuff like doing an extra hour of patrol or wearing a Doctor Strange T-shirt. JARVIS had... No, not going down that train of thought.

"Sheesh, teengage rebellion," Tony muttered. "Well, back at home, I had three robot children that communicated to me through beeps, whistles, whirrs, and what limited body language they can scrounge up. At least with Gis I can see his facial expressions. Most languages have some tonal sub-language. It doesn't usually tell much, but I'm just that good."

"You don't have robot children!" the teen said triumphantly. "Droids are fully developed when they are commissioned."

"Well, I made them myself. Programed every line of coding in their matrixes and put together their circuits with my own two hands," Tony said, wriggling his fingers. "They're my kids in every way that matters. Ask Friday to show you some clips of them later, if you don't believe me."

"You're lying," the Rodian claimed.

"Tony no lie!" Gis snarled, stepping up nose to nose with the Rodian. "Ghrakhowsk has honor! Not like you!"

"Do you even know who Friday is?" Tony asked, trying to head off the oncoming argument.

"Yeah? Well, at least my dad under-" He was cut off by two things happening at once.

The first was Tony, who hurriedly moved to hook his arm over Gis and physically remove him from the confrontation. Of course, even that had to go wrong. Due to neither of them backing down (Quite the opposite, really - they got a lot closer, nearly wrestling with each other without touching, if that was possible), Tony accidentally smacked Hoviv's face in his haste as he grabbed Gis.

The second? Well...

"Enough!" Shoragg roared, grabbing Hoviv by the collar and nearly yanking the younger Rodian off his feet.

In his surprise over the usually-stoic Rodian's large lung capacity and obviously-repressed anger issues, Tony let go of Gis, who dropped onto the floor at the sudden release with a muffled "Umf!" Gis raised his head, glaring at Tony, who stepped back, hands raised. In retaliation, Gis kicked Tony's ankle out from underneath him, knocking him down too. Hands waving wildly, Tony went careening into the two Rodians, also taking them down. They landed on top of Gis, who closed his eyes and laid his head back onto the ground, defeated.

They all contemplated their situation for a moment, wondering how to salvage their pride.

"I'm all for forgetting this ever happened. What about you? Think this situation is forgettable?" Tony asked.

He was answered by a moan from Hoviv, clutching his face, a wide-eyed nod of agreement from Shoragg, and a low whine from Gis. None of them moved from their spot in the pile.

"Shoragg..." Tony drew out, wondering how to address the problem to a person of a culture almost as violent as Gis's. He figured it was best to deal with it as he dealt with Gis. As bluntly and tactlessly as possible. "A little less volume next time. And tone down on the anger, please. This is a violence-free zone."

Shoragg glanced at him but did nothing more.

"Gis," Tony continued patiently, "You may be my unofficial ward, but that doesn't make you any higher on the chain of command. This is just like back at the shipyard. Play nice."

Tony turned back to Shoragg.

"And about Hoviv..." Tony stopped as Shorrag jerked, making a defensive move over his mostly-likely-a-son. "Is he one of my crew members or just your family member-guest thing? Because if he's just a guest, I can't really order him around except to tell him to keep out of a certain room, but if he's a crew member, he gets paid, but I can order him not to mess with my kids." He turned to Hoviv. "That being said, I don't care if you're not under my command. Don't mess with my kids."

-The rich, the powerful, like Stark, they don't care about us!-

Tony was familiar with bureaucracy, but still. Paperwork... long lines... even longer wait times...

Honestly, he'd forgotten about all of those. Back where everyone knew his name, Tony didn't have to wait. Everyone, whether they loved him or hated him, rushed to fulfill the jobs they were assigned. If not his fame, then it was his money that opened all those doors. Here, he had to wait in standard lines for a standard meeting with a standard employee with a standard attitude. It was maddening.

"And this is how the other half lives," Tony said to himself with a hint of irony. This whole time, he thought he got it. Low pay, not being taken seriously, stretching pennies - well, credits - and bartering to get food on the table... Well, all those didn't hold a candle to wait time. Tony would happily take all the other things, if he didn't have to wait. Tony was a man of action. He moved, he tinkered, he created. Time was money, after all. Sadly, he was low on both.

When Tony finally got an audience, he was in no mood to play around. Plonking his datapad onto the desk, he plopped down on the seat. "Okay," Tony said, clasping his hands in front of him and setting it on the wood, "I got almost three dozen different bounties to collect and roughly three times as many beings to turn over to your expertise. The bounties are in here and the beings are on my ship. What do I hafta do?"

The look on the poor employee's face was a balm to his frazzled soul. As were those on the manager the rookie managed to drag with him.

At first, the Guild wanted to confiscate the ship as 'evidence' or something. Well-tuned to the mechanisms of law enforcement, Tony merely presented the cargo hold full of illegallytaken people. After that, it was easy to convince the people in charge that Tony would take care of the bulk of the freed people. All they had to do was to give him the ship he would need to transport them to a planet of their choosing. True, a few of them would take their chances with the guild or on the planet, but most of them surprisingly decided to stay with Tony for now.

At the end of the day, Tony was nineteen people lighter (not including the slavers) and a hundred credits heavier. It wasn't much, but most of the cash went to the slaves or his crew.

Bai-Gon had decided to leave too - apparently, he knew a gal on this planet - but everyone else had decided to stay.

Most importantly, though, T We uonse c y had papers for the ownership of the starship ook . In celebration, the entire crew got completely sloshed. ies.

"A new year, a new chapter, a new life!" Greer said, raising his glass in toast. It promptly spilled over his head.

"I'm never gambling ever again!" declared Suffee, downing yet another mug of whatever they were drinking.

"No," Tony said bluntly, snatching Gis's glass from his claws with an amazing coordination that he had developed over years of drunk engineering. "Y're underage. Go drink juice 'r somethin'."

"My dad's a kriffin', backstabbin'-" Galee said something in her native language before bursting into tears.

"To backstabbers 'n morons," Tony slurred, raising Gis's shot. "F*** you, Clint, I'm calling this ship the Millennium Falcon."

-The rich, the powerful, like Stark, they don't care about us!-

Tony turned back to his datapad. "I named my first starship after Wilson," Tony muttered in disbelief, staring at the name on the interplanetary database. "Of all people, I named it after the kriffing sidekick. Why didn't you stop me, baby girl?"

"It could've been worse," Friday reassured him. "You could've named it The Captain's Triumph."

Tony gagged.

"Captain, we got a situation," Greer told him.

"Never, under any circumstance, call me Captain. Make that a rule. I'm either Tony or Stark," Tony complained. "Dr. Stark," he corrected himself, remembering Strange.

"Yeah, well, I'm sending them up to you," Greer said, brushing him off.

"Them?" Tony asked. "Hey, wait!" FRIDAY pointedly produced canned crackling sounds through the earpiece to indicate that Greer turned off his earpiece. "Friday, can you turn it back on? Fri? Little girl, baby girl? The light of my life and-"

"I'm sorry, boss. I'm afraid I can't do that. That would be an invasion of privacy," FRIDAY recited gleefully. "They're here."

"Who is 'they?'" Tony demanded as the door slid open. Gis stiffened, turning towards the sound.

"Boss," Suffee said, walking in, followed by two strangers, "I'd like to introduce you two to our new coworkers and crewmates." Tony didn't see how Gis's eyes brightened, or how he crouched to the floor, muscles tensed. Tony was looking at the new arrivals. It was the very aggressive ex-slave and someone that looked like a giant, hairy, bodybuilding teddy bear.

"Um... why them?" Tony asked.

Gis lunged for the teddy bear's throat.