4

Last time

Wait. Impel Down? Oh balls, that means. That means!

Marineford.

In something like three to four weeks, Ace is going to be executed. The World Government is going to summon the Shichibukai to take part in the Whitebeard war. Maybe I can say I didn't get the message here in the Florian Triangle? But if I don't participate, I'd have my title stripped. If that happens, I'll be hunted by the Marines, bounty hunters, and any pirate with a grudge. There's no way a guy of my height, not to mention truly horrific appearance could lay low.

I felt a shiver go down my spine. I'm going to have too fight at Marineford. Suddenly this bean bag chair isn't so comforting. As a matter of fact, I haven't felt comfortable since I sat down in it…Why am I shivering? A look of realization dawned upon my face. Doppleman!

Alright, lets do this one more time. Focus. I clenched my fists, and a vein on my forehead became noticeably visible. 'Hn!' I suddenly transitioned to the entrance of Hogback's mansion. The vertigo is much less this time now that I was expecting it. But I feel a dampness on my chest. Looking down my shirt, is splattered in a reddish brown paste with a few chunks of meat. Knees weak, palms sweaty. Turns out I did vomit on myself when I switched bodies, only it came out of Doppleman's mouth.

"Moria-sama! Moria-sama!" Yellow cried for my attention as he ran out of the mansion.

"Terrible news Moria-sama!" he looked more stressed than usual; this might be bad. Are we under attack?!

"Status report Yellow!"

"Yes sire! Our coffers, they're nearly empty."

"Wait, what?" So, we're not under attack? Oh happy day.

"It's just like I said Moria-sama, we have less than 10,000,000 beris!" Eh, can't feel bad about money you never actually had. Ten million sounds pretty good, any amount of money with 'million' at the end does, honestly.

"I don't much see what the problem is Yellow." I didn't really care about money; I was a pirate with a zombie crew who owned an island. What could money buy that I need?

"B-b-but Moria-sama!" He fidgeted in place.

I felt bad for the little guy. He's only doing his job; loyalty is to be commended.

"Ha~ say your piece Yellow."

"It's like this…"

My eyes bulged, and I took a deep breath after learning how much this could hurt me. "NAAAAAMIIIIII!" That piece of shit thieving bitch! I smashed my fist on the floor, creating spiderweb cracks everywhere. She must've taken all the money during the feast! Ah! Damnit, damnit, damnit!

Yellow had to remind me what it meant to be a Shichibukai. So embarrassing. What are the rights and responsibilities of a Shichibukai? One, a Shichibukai has their bounty frozen, and all their past crimes forgiven by the government. Two, as a Shichibukai, you may act as a pirate with no recourse. You're only supposed to target other pirates, but everyone targets civilians if it's not in front of the Marine's faces. Three, the Shichibukai must aid the World Government when they call for assistance. Finally, and most pertinent to me is that the Shichibukai must pay a tithe every year, amounting to a minimum of 30,000,000 beri.

Barnacles. Dirty, barnacles. I was so caught up trying to get the Straw Hat's off my island, and not have my face caved in by Kuma that I forgot about the world's best burglar and cheat, Nami.

"How much time do we have before the Marine's debt collector's come for us?" My anger lost out to depression. Hopefully we don't have to borrow money from a bank to pay off the government. I had thought that debt was a problem exclusively from my old life. Now this, this is what true evil looks like.

Yellow maintained his pensive look.

"We have about three months, Moria-sama. At the rate that pirates are entering the Florian Triangle, I am uncertain if we will make enough money."

This sounds like something I'll need a second opinion on. No offense to Yellow, but he can be a bit slow.

"Summon the 'Terrible Three." I looked down at my still wet shirt.

"And tell them to meet at Hogbacks dining room!"

I had changed into a simple white shirt with the same overcoat, and black pants. Sadly, Moria didn't have much in terms of clothing, only one pair of boots. Something to steal, or maybe buy when I get some money. Damnit Nami!

One clean pair of clothes later, it was time to have an executive meeting. Outside the dining room, I could hear my officers. This is a good time to see how they act when I'm not around.

"You're perfect Cindry-chan, I couldn't ask for a more beautiful bride!" Hogback's voice was happier than I've ever heard.

I heard a crash, followed by a monotone voice filled with incredible scorn.

"I don't like dishes"

"Ah, ah, Cindry-chan! Not at me, ah cheh cheh cheh!" I could only imagine Hogback to be having dishes thrown at him. Should I take out Cindry's shadow, and put it back in to change her personality? I don't much need a doctor for zombies, but having a genius surgeon on my team is always a plus. Perhaps if he performs a service for me worthy of reward, I'll grant him a docile Cindry.

"Go easy on Kumashi, Perona!" A surprisingly deep and masculine voice sounds out. That must be Absalom. Ironic that such a big body like mine has such a high pitched and grating voice, while a circus reject like Absalom sounds like a manly man. Maybe I'll help the guy get a bride, he was the only loyal crew member of Moria's who followed him not just out of fear.

"Now announcing, the Monarch of Shadows, his magnificence, our lord and master, Moria-sama!" Blue announced me to the room.

Thanks Blue, not like I was eavesdropping or anything. Conversation inside the room instantly stopped.

It'll be just like presenting a power point, let's do this. Swaggering to the head of the table, I was disappointed to find that there were no chairs that fit my size. Guess I'm standing for this one. Once I arrived, and all attention was on me I really looked at my crew for the first time.

Sitting to my left was a relatively tall man with pointed ears, pointed teeth, and a long sharp nose. A surgical mask hung from his chin, and he was round like a blueberry. He wore a large fishnet shirt, some very revealing purple sweat pants, purple gloves, and a light purple fur cloak. Just by looking at him, I would assume he belongs on Newkama Land based on his looks, but his obsession with Cindry appears genuine.

Speaking of Cindry, she stood behind Hogback. Surprisingly docile around me. She also reminds me a lot of that girl from the Nightmare Before Christmas. Sally. Cindry is blonde, with a grey-blue skin tone. There are stitches across her body. She's not that important to me, but her continued existence is important for ensuring Hogback's loyalty.

Further down the table, Perona's ghosts are harassing Kumashi (apparently the name of Perona's stuffed zombie bear) behind her back. "Ah, stop it, stop it!" Kumashi flailed his arms. "Horo horo, horo horo." Perona's a slip of a girl, and owner of the Horo Horo no Mi, or Hollow-Hollow fruit, she honestly reminded me of a pimp. She wore a crown, had an umbrella cane, and wore royal colors, all the while showing off a good amount of her midriff. Not to mention how she treats her servants, hah hah.

Finally, my most loyal crew member, and owner of the Suke Suke no Mi, or Clear-Clear fruit sat on my right. Absalom. With is lion face, blonde hair, and red eyes, he'd probably intimidate most civilians with such an ugly face. He wore a button up white shirt, blue pants, a black coat, and the ugliest turban I've ever laid my eyes upon. His ability allows him to turn anything he's touching invisible. He has so much potential as an assassin, it's ludicrous. In my opinion, he probably has one of the most dangerous devil fruits in the world. He may be a super pervert similar to Jiraiya, but he's my super pervert. He should just get that lion mouth removed if he wants women.

After my quick survey of the room, it's time to see what my newly dubbed 'Terrible Three' think about our current situation.

"The Thriller Bark Pirates face a crisis not seen in years. During the feast, Cat Burglar Nami stole the bulk of our funds, managing to walk away with over 400,000,000 beri." Shocked expressions greeted my statement.

"We now have less than 10,000,000 in our vaults. Our minimum payment to the World Government is due in three months. Suggestions for how we are to raise that kind of money?"

I looked around the table, Hogback had lost his smirk, Perona had lost her pallor, and Absalom looked contemplative.

"Absalom, you have an idea? He looked shocked that I had asked him.

"Oh, well, I had a thought, Moria-sama. What if, what if we turned Thriller Bark into a resort island?"

Hmm, I could kind of see it, people do love to get scared in a safe environment. We already have the decor, and there's so many empty rooms in this mansion.

"It would be perfect Moria-sama, there would be beautiful women in bikini's! And I could serve as the chief of security!" Absalom's voice kept rising as he got more and more excited by the prospect.

This guy, all he wanted to do was cop a feel this whole time. He had no intention of turning this into a haunted house resort, he wanted a beach resort!

"Denied, any other suggestions?" I started to worry, if I don't get that money, than I'll lose the immunities that being a Shichibukai grant me.

Perona decided to chime in, "You could always borrow from a bank, it's only twenty million, we'll get it back in no time."

Only twenty million?! Don't you know how banks operate! They're like loan sharks, offering you their money, then some months later, bam! You're paying double what you borrowed.

"Absolutely not, I will not rely on a World Government institution to fund our crew!" I gnashed my teeth. There's got to be a way. I look at Hogback, he's being berated by Cindry. Hmm.

"Doctor Hogback, we need money ASAP, would you be willing to sell your skills to the highest bidder to fund this crew?" He had a look of bitter resentment at my insinuation. Crap! That's right, I had forgot! He quit servicing the public because he was too popular, and came to resent the masses. Time for damage control.

"Only a select few clients, I assure you Doctor Hogback. As a matter of fact, I was considering lately how to fix Cindry's problem with dishes recently. If you do this service for me, I might find it in my generous heart to fix her problem."

A look of hope quickly sprang up on Hogback's face. "You really mean it Moria-sama?!"

"Ki shi shi shi, I never lie to my men!"

"Okay, I'll do it!" Hogback stood from the table, toppling his chair over in a hurry.

"Slow down Doctor Hogback, we don't have any patients for you to treat." I spread my grin from ear to ear. That's one source of income solved. The rest will have to be made from stealing.

"Heed my command, we set sail for East Blue. All merchant vessels are to be let go after we rob them. You know what to do with the pirates."

"Heh, East Blue, they'll be easy marks." Absalom complimented.

"Genius as always Moria-sama! Fos fos fos fos!" said Hogback, still energized from our conversation.

"I approve of anything that adds cute things to my collection! Horo horo horo!" Perona squeezed her servant till his eyes bulged out.

A chorus of affirmatives followed me out the door.

"Absalom, walk with me."

"Moria-sama-" Absalom began.

"Let's go to the battlements." I interrupted.

When we finally arrived to the top of the walls surrounding the island, I leaned out, facing the ocean.

"There's a change in the air Absalom, can you feel it? The world sits upon a precipice. On one path, the Marines, and Absolute Justice reign supreme. On the other, bastards like Kaido grow ever closer to becoming the Pirate King."

"We can't let that man become the pirate king, Moria-sama! Whatever the cost! For our nakama!" Absalom cried out with passion.

"I know." I place a hand on his shoulder. "I promise you; we will avenge them." If not necessarily for me, but to at least honor the original will of this body. Not to mention securing the loyalty of one more devil fruit user.

"There's a new generation of pirates making waves in the world. They're known as 'The Worst Generation' Monkey D. Luffy is one of them. His energy, and drive have once again ignited my passions once again. I am no longer the Moria who relied solely on his subordinates to become the Pirate King. Do you understand what I'm saying Absalom?"

Tears came out of his eyes, and snot dripped down his lion nose. "Yes, Moria-sama!"

"Good. Within three to four weeks' time, the World Government will assemble all of the Shichibukai at Marineford. They're expecting combat with the Whitebeard pirates." Absalom gasped at my declaration

"In the coming days, I will be training my powers to the maximum. I too, expect you to train. You're to train using a sniper while invisible, and practice sneaking up on our zombies with functional animal noses or animal ears. You have the potential to be one of the most powerful men in the world Absalom, and if there's one thing women like, it's a strong man." My patented sly smirk emerged as I saw a new fire light itself in Absalom's heart.

"In the meantime, I want you to delegate one of our Zombie Generals to teach our zombies in the graveyard how to shoot a rifle. Their performance against the Straw Hats was pathetic, they were worth less than cannon fodder."

"I'll get right on it Moria-sama!" Saluting he turned to carry out my orders.

"One last thing, our mission to East Blue this time isn't just to get easy money. Take this list, the Thriller Bark Pirates are making a comeback!"

AN: Lot's of exposition this chapter.

Maybe we'll see Moria test some of his theories next time. Any suggestions on shadow abilities/powers are appreciated.

The poll for Absalom will be open until the Straw Hats meet up again after Sabaody.

For my post Marineford arcs, I'm thinking about using characters inspired from Courage the Cowardly Dog, KND, and other games/cartoons for my antagonists, thoughts?

Probably won't post every day like I have been. Finals are coming up, and I get to memorize every nerve in the body. Joy.