2/2

Par for the course when you stay up as late as I normally do. I felt really energized at night, but that energy wasn't going to come from nothing. Currently, I was in the mood for a bag of chips...one that was on the counter, a few meters away from my couch.

I willed my stand to emerge and made him face the object of my current needs. "Sutā Fingā!"

With that, Star Platinum's index and middle fingers elongated to an absurd length, enough to reach the bag of chips. With a flick of the wrist, the bag flew towards the couch, only to be caught by my stand.

I grabbed the bag from my punchy boi and popped a few chips in my mouth. Yes, I use my stand for utterly menial tasks even though he isn't a toy. Jotaro made it get beer and manga while he was in a prison cell, so sue me.

The only reason I was staying up extra late tonight was because it was supposedly important. If Kakyoin was to be believed, then everything would still go as it did in canon, because fate is a bitch. How Mizuki-teme was supposed to trick Naruto into stealing the scroll of seals when the boy had passed, I wasn't quite sure, but if it's supposed to happen then it happens.

Since I've basically insinuated myself into the blonde's life, if he does anything then people would probably come to me for help...so-

*KNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCK*

Right on schedule.

I kicked myself off the couch, stretched a bit as Star Platinum retreated back into my being, and walked towards my front door. When I opened it, I saw Iruka-sensei staring down at me with a terrified look.

"Oh, Iruka-sensei? What are-"

"Naruto stole the Scroll of Seals and ran off with it!" the scarred man yelled.

I stuck a finger in my ear at the volume of his voice. "Ok, maybe go over that again? And be quieter please, you know I have sensitive hearing."

"Sorry," Iruka dipped his head for a second before pinning me with a desperate look. "Naruto broke into the Hokage's house a few hours ago, just before midnight, and stole the Scroll of seals. You know what that is, right Jojo?"

"Yeah, the scroll that has all the stupidly powerful techniques made by the Shodai and Nidaime...wait, wasn't the old man in his house?"

"Well...yes, but-"

"Then how did Naruto get past the strongest person in the village?"

"...so, remember that "new justu" he showed off the other day?" Iruka rubbed the back of his head nervously. "The one he said was the culmination of all his research?"

I stared at Iruka blankly for several seconds before letting out a huff. "Yare Yare Daze...so why are you coming to me for this?"

"Because I figured Naruto would have run it by you."

"Iruka-sensei, if I knew Naruto had done something like that, I would have come to you immediately."

"...Oh shit you have no idea where he is!" the scarred chūnin's face morphed into one of horror. "Shit! What do we do?!"

"Sensei! Calm down...now, what's going on with the rest of the village?"

"Well, everybody is basically out for his blood, or to have him strung up by his toes. Hell, the tamest thing I'm hearing is that he should be removed from the shinobi forces-"

"Ok, nothing to worry about then," I said calmly. "We can just track him down, and you can figure out why he stole an important artifact belonging to the Hokage, and I can slap him upside the head," I turned around and walked into my house, motioning for Iruka to follow. "I just need to gather a few things first, maybe a weapon or two-AHA, I can use my dad's balls!"

"...Wait, what?!" the scarred man cried owlishly. "Did you actually just say that you could use your dad's balls?"

"Yeah, but I'll need to get them oiled up first," I said, opening a downstairs closet and digging through for what I needed. I moved a few boxes around just as I finished sheathing my three swords and clipping an axe to my belt.

"I thought your father was dead!"

"Yeah, he is…" I grumbled, remembering that night. "But he left me his balls, so they should be useful if Naruto is uncooperative."

"Why did your dad leave you his-" Iruka cut himself off as I pulled a pair of metal clackers emblazoned with a stylized letter J. "What the hell are those?"

"They're clackers, my parents used them as weapons," I hoisted them up. "The one pair belonged to my dad, the other was Mom's. If I use a special oil, they can conduct hamon pretty nicely," I turned to him with a flat look. "Why the hell were you acting so weird when I started talking about them?"

"I...well, the way you said it...Y-Y'know what, let's just go and find Naruto" the scarred chūnin rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "If I try to continue this conversation, my brain will stop working and I'll get really uncomfortable."

"...Yare Yare Daze, whatever."

"Naruto!" Iruka cried out as he ran through the trees. "Mizuki's not far behind, give me the scroll!"

The response "Iruka" got was several dozen kunai flying towards him. The moment he hit the ground, he shot a piercing glare.

"How…" the man growled as his henge dispelled. "How the hell could you have known it was me you demon brat?!" Mizuki snarled.

"Yare Yare Daze, you really are a dumbass," I sneered as I dropped the transformation, surprising the silver-haired traitor. "For starters, Iruka-sensei is right there," I pointed to the prone chūnin leaning against a tree as he tried to stifle the bleeding from his wounds.

"So, you followed Iruka then?"

"Yeah, the idiot told me to hide in case things went south...I heard everything," I gave Mizuki a glare as my pupils narrowed into cat-like slits. "You're such a piece of shit Mizuki-teme, I'm really looking forward to this."

"Why the hell are you defending him Joushirou?! He's a damn monster, he killed so many innocent people, he-"

"Shut your mouth shitstain!" I growled. "I've known about the fox since the year after I met Naruto, I'm not gonna fall for your bullshit."

"How did you figure it out?!"

"I'm not an idiot!" I yelled.

"Yeah, that'll do it," Iruka said weakly as he pulled another Kunai from his leg.

"And since I'm not an idiot, I'm well aware of the fucking difference between a person and a demon that can destroy a continent!" I pulled my tanto from its sheath. "Naruto can act pretty stupid, or reckless when it comes to pranking people, and lately he's become a huge pervert...but I've seen the shit people do to him, like what you've tried, and my senses are so stupidly enhanced that it's impossible for me to not hear the shit people say about him behind his back," I pointed my blade towards the traitorous asshole. "You know what he does? When everybody treats him like he's not even a human being, he just picks himself up, smiles at them, and tells them he's gonna prove them wrong one day. I like to think I'm tough, but I could never do something like that. Naruto is my friend, not a fucking demon, you degenerate piece of shit!"

"You're a real piece of work, Jojo," Mizuki sneered. "That demon already infected your mind...Iruka would think differently-"

"Nah," said chūnin groaned out. "If Naruto really was a demon, he'd be using the power of that scroll to do whatever he wanted...but he isn't doing that, he's playing keepaway from you. Naruto may not be my best student, he's clumsy and I can't count the amount of people who hate him on both hands, but he knows what it's like to feel the pain that you can only feel inside your heart," Iruka fixed his former friend and comrade with a fierce glare. "He isn't a giant demon fox, he's Uzumaki Nartuo, heir to the Uzumaki clan and Shinobi of Konoha!"

Mizuki sent both of us a flat look, before a mad grin spread across his face. "You know what, I'm really pissed off right now...and the best way to let off some steam," the silver-haired man cackled as he pulled out two Fūma Shuriken. "Well, getting stabby with these things sounds pretty therapeutic right about now. FUCKING DIE, BOTH OF YOU!"

It happened so fast, one second Mizuki was charging at me and Iruka with his giant Shuriken, and the next, Naruto had jumped out of nowhere and slammed his head into the traitor's gut. The blonde turned to me just as the silver-haired man ricocheted across the ground.

"So...you knew the whole time?" he asked me.

"For about four years now, yeah."

"And you didn't care?"

"If you're a demon, then I'm possessed by an evil spirit," I jabbed a thumb at myself. "I definitely don't feel possessed, so we're both good."

Naruto gave me a genuinely happy smile.

It was rather short lived though.

"You stupid demon brat!" Mizuki growled as he lifted himself off the ground.

"If you hurt anybody I care about...I'll kill you!" the blonde said coldly.

"Ooh, big talk coming from a little punk!" the traitor laughed. "I could kill you in one shot you filthy demon!"

Naruto stared at the man menacingly as he formed his hands into the clone seal. "Hit me with your best shot, I'll return the pain a thousand times over!"

"THEN GO AHEAD, KYUUBI NO KITSUNE!"

"KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!"

*POOF**POOF**POOF*

Orange...Orange everywhere. The whole fucking clearing we were in was instantly filled to the brim with Naruto copies, these ones now perfectly solid thanks to the blonde finally getting his signature justu.

Just according to Keikaku.

Funny enough, Mizuki didn't seem as surprised as he was in canon. He was still shocked, but it was rather restrained.

"Shadow clones?! And this many?! Is this your demon power?!"

"What's your deal?" one clone called out.

"I thought you could take me down in one shot," another clone jeered. "That's what you said, right?"

"Alright then" the all cried out in near-unison. "I guess we're coming to you, huh?"

It was like a huge party...of orange, and all the partygoers were beating up the asshole who decided to crash the party. All the while, the blonde jeered and made scathing remarks towards the traitor. Despite everything, Mizuki was actually holding his ground instead of going down like in canon. He was weaving through the copies with his Fūma Shuriken, tearing through them as best as he could and going for any that he could see. Plenty more would replace them, but even at this age, Naruto had a limit. It was just a matter of who would crack first.

Fortunately, it seemed to be pretty split even. Mizuki now face the (what I assumed to be) real Naruto, with several clones still clinging to his body to drag him down. Though the original blonde was huffing, he was still flashing the man a cocky smirk.

"You think...this is funny...demon filth!" the silver-haired man growled. "I can still keep going, I'll end you here and now!"

"Not with this you wont!" the blonde formed his hands into the snake seal and let out a roar. "MOKUTON!"

At that, four trees shot out of the ground and surrounded the traitor. The clones dragging him down dispelled just at the trees completely encased him in a hollow, unbreakable prison.

"...What!" I cried out, still in shock that Naruto just used the Moku-wait a fucking minute!

"Kakyoin, you asshole!" I hissed under my breath, before doing my best to regain my composure. "Yare Yare, guess I didn't need to use my dad's balls after all."

"Your dad's what?" Naruto squeaked.

"Don't get into it!" Iruka called out as he walked over to us. "You'll just have more questions...kind of like the ones I have now" the scarred man looked at the blonde owlishly. "How do you have the Mokuton?!"

"I've just...had it for a while I guess," the blonde rubbed the back of his head nervously. "I didn't know it had a name until the second year in the academy, when we went over bloodlines. I had been making flowers grow for half a year just for fun without even knowing," Naruto flinched and looked over to the treeline. "I'm guessing Jiji saw that part too, huh?"

"He did," a calm voice called out. Soon enough, four ANBU stood right in front of us. "His Tōmegane lets him see the current activities of anybody whose chakra he knows. He'll probably have several questions" the lead ANBU then looked to Mizuki's prison. "And obviously, we'll need your assistance when we transport him to T&I."

"Wait, what's going on?" Iruka looked back and forth between the ANBU and Naruto. "Could you maybe explain to those who are out of the loop."

"Right, guess I gotta tell you," the blonde gave us a mischievous grin. "That thing with me using my Oiroke no Jutsu to defeat the old man and steal the scroll...that was a big fat lie!"

Iruka instantly facevaulted, while my eyes bugged out inquisitively.

"I mean, I did show him my Oiroke...but that was just because he wanted to catalogue it," Naruto looked back at us and flinched. "Right, full story! So, Mizuki-teme came up to me while I was going home after my...rendezvous, with my secret girlfriend-"

"You have a secret girlfriend?!" Iruka cried out.

"-And he told me about this, and I'm using his words here no joke, "Super secret test of secretness" that'll promote me to chūnin rank instantly, all I had to do was break into the old man's house and steal the Scroll of Seals," the blonde sent me a wild smirk. "Thanks to Jojo though, I learned how to sense bullshit, so instead of doing that I went to Jiji to tell him. That's when we concocted a plan to catch Mizuki, and I got a free jutsu from the whole thing."

"Is this true?" I asked the ANBU.

"Indeed," one, a female in a bird mask, stepped forward. "The four of us were present, and we were included in the plan. If anything were to happen that Uzumaki couldn't handle, we would have stepped in."

"So yeah, everything worked out!" Naruto smiled brightly, then deflated to a melancholy look. "The...the whole thing with the fox, we'll have to talk about that too, huh?"

"Hokage-sama will probably want to discuss a lot with you," one of the ANBU said.

"So let me get this straight," I said, holding my hands up questioningly. "You were accosted by Mizuki-teme to steal the Scroll of Seals, and you told the old man. The two of you then came up with a plan to trap that asshole," I motioned to the huge tree prison. "Which you were able to fulfill because you got a new jutsu and you've had the Mokuton for four years now. Am I missing anything?"

"Hmm...Nah, you've got everything," the blonde said. "I'm sorry about this, I shouldn't have risked your lives for this-"

"Naruto, it's fine," Iruka said reassuringly. "If anything, I'm sorry you had to learn about...well, the whole giant fox monster thing."

"I'm not sure how to deal with it actually," Naruto said anxiously.

"The best course of action would be getting to the Hokage," the lead ANBU said. "We should get back to the village, we can sort Mizuki out later. Come!"

Just as we began to head back to the village, we all froze at the sound of a loud *CRACK* from the tree prison Naruto had created. Our weapons were barely ready when a large, clawed hand smashed through, and a pair of glowing yellow eyes peering from within the darkness of the wooden entrapment.

ゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴ

After a loud crash, the thing flew from the prison.

It kinda looked like a shirtless Mizuki...keyword kinda. Because Mizuki, last time I checked, didn't have dark grey skin and a mane of silver fur going down his back and around his neck and chest, nor did he sport a wolf-like face with vicious fangs or the triangular canid ears at the top of his head.

And at no point in my life did I remember him having huge scythe/wings. The limbs themselves looked like giant bat wings, but instead of having fingers connecting the membrane to create full wings, the wing simply had a thumb and the second finger that extended outward. Attached to the huge wings, from the elbow to the end of said finger, was what seemed like bone that was definitely wicked sharp judging by how the moonlight glinted on it, making the wings look like giant scythes attached to the creature's back.

"Hehe...didn't think I'd have to use this," the thing said. It almost sounded like Mizuki too, but it just wasn't right at all. "Oi, demon brat! I didn't hear a bell, so we're still doing this!"

"I can't believe it," Iruka croaked out. "Orochimaru! You were doing this because you work for that creep?!"

"Wait, Orochimaru is real?!" Naruto cried out. "I thought he was just a mythical pedo, somebody to scare children and shit!"

"Yes, he's real…" I trailed off, backing away nervously as Mizuki stalked towards us. "I only thought about making a joke that one time, I didn't think he was...well…"

While I was musing about pedophile jokes based off Orochimaru, the ANBU sprung into action. The four trained ninja sped towards the transformed Mizuki, weapons leveled towards his beastly form.

The leader was the only one who died. Considering he was cut in half, there really wasn't any chance for him. Mizuki had swung right down onto his head first, so maybe the guy had at least died too quick to feel anything after that. The others were so distracted by the fountain of blood spilling on them that they couldn't dodge the traitor's attacks. The other two male ANBU were left bereft of their legs, while Eagle was simply stabbed in the shoulders.

Mizuki sneered at the fallen ANBU woman before continuing his stalk towards us. Iruka, still weakened from his previous blood loss, was unable to do anything as the traitor backhanded him into a nearby tree. Finally, the beast stood before me and Naruto with a vicious grin.

"Well, demon fox? You gonna try and take me?" the beast released enough killing intent to make Naruto drop to his knees. "As much as I really want to kill you, this whole Mokuton thing is a new development," the mutated traitor leaned down and lapped his tongue near the blonde's cheek. "If you're really a natural born Mokuton user, my boss would really appreciate it if I brought you to him. I'd get a very generous reward for bringing you alive."

"Hey freak!" I growled out. "Did you fucking forget about me or something? You must be high if you think I'm letting that happen!"

"Hehehehehe...I didn't forget about you Jojo" with that, Mizuki blurred out of existence, and one of his scythe/wings was pressing threateningly against my neck. "Hey demon fox! You care about this kid, right? If you want him to live, you'll come with me quietly!"

"W-What?!" the blonde stuttered, still under the effects of the traitor's KI and chakra exhaustion. "Wait, no! Just let him go, I'll-"

"Don't! Naruto, I'll be fine," I assured him, hoping he wouldn't mess this up. I had Mizuki right where I wanted him.

Just...According to...KEIKAKU!

"Oh? You'll be fine? That's cute Jojo," the mutated traitor snarled at me wildly. "I remembered something you said before, about being possessed by an evil spirit...hehehe! Why don't you summon it, maybe it'll protect you huh?"

"...You sure?" I asked him, glancing at him from the corner of my eye with a smug grin. "Because if you're really sure about it, then you don't get takebacks."

"EH?! You trying to play games Jojo?! I don't like being fucked with!"

"I was just trying to make sure Mizuki-sensei. I don't want to offend you or anything."

"Quit fucking with me gaki! If you really have an evil spirit possessing you, then go ahead and show me."

...well, he did ask, didn't he? My smile was so wide, up until this point I had never felt so happy in either of my lives.

"SUTĀ PURACHINA!"

"ORA!"

*CRAAAAACK*

(Background Music Play! Stardust Crusaders OST: Stardust Crusaders)

Star Platinum erupted from my very being and slammed it's fist straight into Mizuki's jaw, all while breaking both of his wings in the process. When the freak tried to stand up, I slammed a foot down on his fingers. Mizuki looked up at me in terror as I sneered at him viciously.

"W-What the hell is that thing?! What did you do to me?!" he cried out in terror.

"This?" I pointed to SP. "Oh, that's just my stand...hehe, based on how confused you look, you don't know what that is huh? Well, basically my soul harnesses my lifeforce into a ghost that punches stuff for me. He can punch with enough force to crack giant diamonds and can let out a barrage of said punches...at the speed of light," my grin turned murderous as his beastly face morphed further into a horrendously terrified expression. "I won't go into too much detail about stands though, since you're not gonna be around for long anyway."

"Please, wait!" Mizuki held his other hand up in fear. "I-I know when I'm beat, I'd never be able to fight, not like this! You broke my nose, I think I lost a bunch of my teeth...oh kami, they'll have to rewire my jaw shut if they even care enough to-"

"Oh, Mizuki-sensei, that's cute," I sneered at his confused look. "You know, you're the only teacher I hated who I never got to do this to...so I think I'm ready to make up for lost time," I stood up and lifted my foot off his hand, willing my stand to pose at him menacingly to prevent him from trying anything. "Class is in session then, and we're having a pop quiz! I'll ask you a question, and depending on what answer you give, you may receive some form of disciplinary action. Understand, sensei?"

"Y-Yeah, I totally understand!"

"Good...now, for the question," I leaned forward while sending my own KI to him. "Have you ever heard of somebody named "Steely Dan"?"

"N-No, I haven't."

"Funny…"

.

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"I'm expecting the same response," I said viciously. "When I ask the next person about "Tsu Mizuki", what do you think?"

"...OH KAMI NO PLEASE NO-"

"ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA!"

"AAAAGHHHH!"

"ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA!"

"GAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

"ORAAAAAAAA!"

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA!"

"WAAAAHAAAAAA!"

"ORAAAAAAAA!" with one last cry, Star Platinum rocketed his fist straight into the man's gut, throwing him directly through over a dozen trees and into a large rock.

"Welp, looks like class is over…" I called out, turning around. "Sorry to tell you this Mizuki-sensei, but you fail!"

In hindsight, revealing my stand right when the Hokage was watching might not have been the best move.

Currently, Naruto and I sat before the old man in his office, the blonde twiddling his thumbs nervously beneath the Hiruzen's gaze. I should have been grateful that the Hokage was paying a bit more attention to Naruto than he was to me, but even the ROOT in the room were staring owlishly at Star Platinum.

"...Jiji...about what happened-"

"Naruto, let me put your fears to rest," Hiruzen removed his pipe from his mouth. "You are not the Kyuubi, you're simply its Jinchūriki. That means that the fox was sealed inside of you using Fūinjutsu, I think you're well aware of what that entails."

"You can use Fūinjutsu to seal tailed beasts?"

"Yes, but only the Ichibi can be sealed into anything other than a person. Anything stronger needs a living host," the old man refilled his pipe and continued smoking. "You were chosen because...well, apparently anybody else would get a shortened lifespan from having it. Only the Uzumaki, who naturally live longer, can faithfully hold the fox and still live a long and fulfilling life. Plus, your father believed you were the best candidate, that you would use it to protect the village."

Wait, hold up!

"My...father?!" the blonde gaped.

"Well, no use hiding it now," Hiruzen stood up and pulled a sealed document from a cabinet, then handed it to Naruto. "I remember the deal we made a few years ago, that if you graduated I would at least tell you about your mother. Well, since you revealed your Mokuton, I think I'm throwing all risk out the window, since if you can keep that a secret your parentage wouldn't be too difficult."

Naruto looked at the sealed document for several seconds, before biting down on his own thumb. The blonde smeared the red liquid onto the seal, causing the envelope to glow slightly. After the brightness faded, the boy pulled the paper out and read through it. I didn't ask whether he had finished reading or not, even if he didn't his expression of shock would have still been present.

"My dad...was the Yondaime…"

"Before you go off on me, there was a reason we hid it from you," the Hokage stood up and stared out of his window at the rest of the village. "Minato had a lot of enemies...and I do mean a lot. You don't get to just completely break the law of inverse ninja strength, it isn't feasibly possible, but your father perfected a jutsu and basically created teleportation which let him destroy an entire army of enemy shinobi in under an hour. This is Iwagakure and Kumogakure we're talking about, so they don't have as much ninja as we do, but they have better quality ninja, and your old man took out half of their respective forces."

"Of Iwa or Kumo?"

"Yes," the old man responded with, giving the blonde a blank look. "Your mother, Kushina, she wasn't too bad either. Minato married her in secret because Minato didn't want an angry mob of civilians from the worker's council going after him for refusing their daughters or something like that. Kushina could have easily taken an army herself too, considering she was an Uzumaki...and she was like you," Hiruzen pointed to the blonde's stomach. "She was the one to bear your burden before you. We don't know what happened, but we assumed the worst since seals on female Jinchūriki weaken when they're giving birth."

"So it was my fault though," Naruto said lowly. "If I wasn't born, then the fox wouldn't have broken out of my mom and destroyed everything."

"Naruto, it was not your fault," the old man said quickly. "Your parents died to save the village, and to make sure you would be able to safely carry this burden and protect everybody. If they were alive, they'd never let you blame yourself for this!"

"I...I still don't know what to think," the blonde said lowly. "Did he know? That everybody would hate me?"

"Hindsight is 20/20...I don't think it applies though, since Minato used a technique that killed him to seal the fox," Hiruzen looked down at the boy sadly. "I don't think they would have let it happen, at least while they were in the village. The only reason I feel the need to tell you this is because we want to figure out how you could have gotten the Mokuton. The Uzumaki had a close relationship with the senju before Uzushio was destroyed, but most records tell us your mother had little to no senju descent...well, no more than the other uzumaki."

"What about my dad?" the blonde asked.

"He was an orphan...I guess that's a good place to start," then the old man turned to me, and I was dreading the conversation. "Now then, onto the elephant in the room."

"I'd go more with...big buff purple ghost man," Iruka said nervously. "How long have you had a spirit attached to you?"

"Since I was six, and it's not a spirit...not in the way you're thinking."

"I know a thing or two about Stands Iruka," Hiruzen said kindly. "For starters, the most basic way to explain them is as the user's life energy harnessed by their soul and manifested into a spirit-like entity. Stands can interact with the world around them, much like what you saw with Mizuki."

Everybody aside from myself cringed. T&I might not need to do much at all, considering what I did to the asshole. I regret nothing!

"Stand users also gain a supernatural ability, one that is unique only to them," the old man ran a hand through his beard in thought. "Everything about how stands work is rather...well, muddled. Stands are based off their users psyche, which means that they're as varied as the human mind is. All stands follow a general set of rules, but these rules are looser than a-" Hiruzen flashed me and Naruto an embarrassed look. "Well, the gist is they don't all come out the same. Joushirou, your stand is very powerful, it's the perfect type of stand for direct combat. The only other user living in Konoha has one that is rather weak, and the one other user we had, well his was very situational."

"There's another user in Konoha?" I blurted out, not even caring that I had just raised my voice at the Hokage. "Who are they? Are they dangerous? What are-"

"Joushirou, calm down!" the Hokage huffed in exasperation. "The other stand user is somebody you know, they're not dangerous, and they don't have an ability that would be useful for combat."

"So, you can just send your stand to fight your battles?" Naruto asked me, giving Star Platinum inquisitive looks. "You'd practically be invincible."

"Unless I fought another stand-user," I said flatly. "The only thing I know of that can hurt a stand is another stand...correct me if I'm wrong Hokage-sama."

"You aren't. As far as we know, the only thing that can combat a stand-user is another stand-user," Hiruzen sighed. "The second user we had, he began using his stand for his own nefarious purposes. We decided to put him down, but the squad of Jōnin we sent after him was nearly wiped out. He only had his for a year, but the power he had was just too devastating."

"How do you know so much about them then?" the blonde gave me a skeptical look.

"I read a bunch of books on the occult," I said. "I woke up one day with a buff purple ghost hanging around me, and my parents had died a while beforehand, so I needed something to take my mind off it."

"So jutsu can't hurt it?"

"As far as we know, even s-ranked jutsu would barely make a scratch," Hiruzen hummed in thought. "But like I said, a stand can only be hurt by another stand. Anything that were to happen to…"

"Star Platinum."

"Anything that happens to Star Platinum will also happen to Joushirou, as is the case with most stand-users."

"That's crazy," the blonde tilted his head as he examined my stand. "How did you even get it?"

Best to tell him the truth then, huh?

"I walked onto a plot of land where a piece of the messiah's corpse was buried. That's how I got it."

Naruto gave me an exasperated look. "Jojo, we just fought our traitor teacher after he turned into a scythe-wolf, I think I've dealt with enough crazy for the night."

"...Yare Yare Daze, whatever," I turned to the old man. "So what happens now?"

"Well, there's still a lot I feel the need to talk about with you, some things are rather private," Hiruzen's eyes darted to Naruto for a split second. "At the moment, it's late, and the two of you have been through quite a bit tonight. We have the whole week to get this settled, so I'd say taking a small break before your team assignments won't hurt."

"I guess...I'm just hoping that I don't get a lazy asshole for a Jōnin sensei."

"Oh, I'm certain the arrangements will work out just fine" the Hokage said in a somewhat sickeningly sweet voice.

...Y'know what, deal with whatever that is later, I'm officially retiring for the night. Maybe Kakyoin will stop giving me so much flak after this.

←To Be Continued

So, there is one thing I have to say for the last part of the chapter. On the spacebattles version of the fic, there was some protest on having "Completely Invincible" Stands, and yeah I know it looks written that way. But the whole backstory about Konoha's history with Stands in this version of the Naruto world only involves two stands and their users, and at least one didn't follow the normal rules, so Hiruzen doesn't know exactly how Stands in general work. Star Platinum isn't gonna be invulnerable to every jutsu in existence, and like I've said, Joushiriou isn't gonna be a Gary Stu or something like that.

Now then, onto the reviews!

Guest: Ain't a joke, but I'm not making him "Instantly OP", hell just using one technique took a lot for him. I'm gonna try and have him realistically train himself to be a badass instead of instantly being a badass like every other fic does.

Uwotm007: Naruto has a Mac, so this checks out.

coldblue2015: No, you didn't annoy me with that, just surprised me since I never expect PMS anymore. Joushirou doesn't have three Tsurugi, just the one, the other two are a tanto and a wakizashi. He's left handed, so he uses the tanto first in most fights. As for animal summons...Dolphins maybe? SP using jutsus seems overpowering with whats up top, since jutsus don't affect stands as much as they should. His test for his Jonin sensei will definitely stand out against the other tests, no doubt.

DankAnon: Joushirou learning the Oiroke...hmm...(begins writing in idea book.)

Tobi is a Gooder Boy: The Steely Dan Treatment was in this chapter, with Mizuki (I counted every ORA, even in the original Japanese manga, to get it right), that last beatdown was just the same as the one Jotaro gave Kira after Kira pushed the DIO button (MUDA).

Jenko J. Jenkins 99: Jojo isn't gonna do all the work by himself, the next few chapters are gonna be his first D-rank missions and a C-rank (and the First Enemy Stands!). No, Naruto is not gonna be descended from DIO, that'd be rather phoned in. I'm still on the fence about an alternate version of Giorno, but Pucci will show up someday.

As always, thank you for the followings and reviews. For everybody interested, please leave any thoughts, questions, and constructive criticism in your reviews.