The girl who sat next to me

By this time I am ready to go to school , my homework has been done and my lunch box is ready just that I am late , who am I  to blame ? Is it you mother who couldn't prepare the food quickly or the time that couldn't wait for me has I tied my shoelaces? But who ever it was I have this feeling that I must not go alone who knows what lies ahead  in school waiting for me and I don't want to go alone so I began to grumble and cry .

         Why am I crying my mother wants to know but I have no answer to give she said she would follow me to school and I stopped crying immediately like I knew that was the solution. The principal left us with a fair warning we were told not to come late tomorrow and my mother promised him that we wouldn't but that sounded familiar to my hearings and what happened felt like a de ja vu . My mum had promised the same thing to my teacher but she failed to keep her promise...

The whole class had settled in and they will face me had I enter the class -The fear that comes with walking into a full class was in me the whole class staired at me has I stood in front of the class waiting to be invited in  by my class teacher , I  had only one wish and I wished I could disappear so I won't have to face the class .

       I was invited in later on and I walked to.my seat just observing what everyone was doing  and I saw her writing her homework when the teacher was doing corrections on the board , she was cheating but she wasn't the only one everyone was doing that so was it normal or what else did the teacher expect when she didn't ask us to submit the assignment before correcting it .

      How does she do it ? I wonder how the kids know the girl next to me , the kids would gather her  to play at lunch they would play all sort of games - it was fun I guess they would all come back to the class drenched in their sweat.

I wonder how she became friends with them all I end up staying alone in the class eating my food and but by the time I'm done the  kids would hurry back to eat and they end up not satisfying their hunger sighs ...

The girl who sat with me was beautiful so it was easy for her and  the teachers would acknowledge her often but no one noticed me . Yes! I was fine with it I had less  work to do in class .

             The real work I had to do was to babysit my siblings I wonder if I was made for them ,they keep clingy on to me and I am responsible for the mistakes they made both  in school and at home . What they do this time ? That is what rings in my head has a messenger comes for me in the middle of my lessons . Oh i have to walk out of the class with every one looking at me and I am given another name before I know it they call me my sister or brother's keeper and no one remembers my name .

             As if being alone was not enough I couldn't be left alone my siblings made my life harder for me .

             Everyday was the same , the times I'm early to school was always good and the times I'm late my mum would make another promise she loved to  be in debt

And I started to get use to my life in circles it was quite predictable.  If I didn't do my assignment I know what happens,  if someone is looking for me I know my siblings were to blame , if I am alone in the class I know it is lunch .

             I never thought of a change neither did I want one , what could be changed anyways ?

I always thought other kids were living this way so I try to be humble with my situation.