0006 I'M DYING

"fine Ethen let's get engaged... but not today just tell them after a 15 days I need time to recover and time for myself sooo....." "okay my queen" he said turning me around kissing my cheek and wiping those tears away it's not the kisses of love they are different the are kisses of comfort ♡

Nicole got me some food and the both of them left

I slowly walked to the prayer room even though I was hurt I didn't care you know and I got on my knees

"God ik u can't give him to me ik u think I'm selfish but God I loved him he was someone I fell for I don't know who my parents are even though those nightmares tell me they're well bred but why did they leave me alone I'm being treated more than equally here but..... God why "sob* why did it have to be her of all whyyyy he would have loved someone who was more netter than me it would've made me give up but whyyy when I do everything for his sake God I know ur listening and I know u are planning something good for me but God no I don't need good I needed him yet he was not there and God u threw Nicole in my life but still.....then u threw Ethen and Ian in my life yes I need them now more than myself but he is diffrent the one who told me no matter what it was hell stand by my side but why is he turning away his face now why is he going back on his words so God I thank you for being there when I couldn't tell no one but today there is no more going back I will eventually fall for somone else🥀 its about time I give up ik I've been telling this from 2 years but I don't know why wrong always feels right when it is him *phone ringing* wiping away my tears and clearing my throat I answerd "yes Doctor abbrah"

"I'm very sorry to convey this but mam u don't have many years to live....." °~°