Chapter 4

"Cindy..."

The air was silent. It was awkward. You could hear the crackle of the burning wood in the fire place.

The look on her face was full of intent.

" What are you doing here? "

Cold wind blew in through the open door.

It felt chilly. I don't know if it was her cold death stare or just the wind.

She stared for a couple seconds before letting herself in and shutting the door.

"Do you know what the time is?"

She walked in closer.

"You were supposed to meet up with me"

"Oh. I honestly forgot, but. I thought it was just another one of your pointless yammering and yapping. I didn't know you were serious"

"That's a lie!"

"Wh-whaddyu mean 'thats a lie' "

"She's the reason you didn't show up to meet me, right?" She showed herself to the living room and took a seat.

"Look, Claire just happened to show up, and she was going through some stuff. I just needed to help."

" It's always about Claire. I needed you, I need you! I texted first, you don't know if something was even happening to me at the moment, you didn't bother to text back, you didn't bother to care!"

Her words came out... slowly hitting me with their weight.

" It's like I'm being punished for loving you! It's like my heart is being punished for loving you! Loving you shouldn't be a crime! But you're so obsessed with Claire, you're entirely oblivious to me"

She says. Her words pierced through my heart

I was silent, she was silent too.

The sound of silence was painfully loud.

Then her voice gently sounded.

"I just want you to love me too"

I walked up to the chair behind her.

If I don't settle this now, she's gonna get the wrong idea about everything, maybe end up getting depressed too.

"Cindy. Can we go out? I don't have anything left that we can eat"

"No, I'm fine. I'm not hungry."

She said quietly.

I walked over to the seat adjacent to her.

I took a good look at her. When it comes to pure looks, Cindy is prettier and hotter than Claire, but... I just don't feel anything for Cindy.

She's just there.

"Cindy?" I call out.

She sits on the couch, hugging her knees with her face down.

"Cindy, I think we should sort this out before things get worse"

She kept silent.

"I'll just go on" I say as I take a deep breath in, and then out.

"Cindy. I'm in love with Claire" As I said that, I saw her fingers clamp down on her skin, almost like clawing her legs.

"I don't know how, or why, but she's always on my mind, she's everything to me. She's pretty, she's brilliant and everything in between."

I paused for a second, to let it sink in.

" Cindy. I don't love you. I never did, and I don't even know why you like me. You deserve better! "

" That's not true! " She yelled as she held on even tighter.

" You are better! you're the better that I deserve! I don't want anyone else! "

She tilted her head up to look at me as the tears streamed down her cheek.

"You always go on and on about how no one should like you cause you don't deserve it, but you do!"

"You're the sweetest guy ever! Yeah, you might not look like a model, but you're not ugly! And not all girls are after looks. Jerome, I fell in love with you, not because of how you look but because of who you are and what you make me feel!"

The tears streamlined the sides of her face. Her voice was shaky but full of intent.

I was just... silent.

" Jerome, you're so selfish y'know? You're always about you! You're always about what you want, but you never care about the feelings of those that care about you! But I never stopped loving you, even after you started falling in love with that stupid bitch"

Her hands held mine slowly... they were soft and slender.

Smaller than mine.

" I love you... Why can't you see that? What do I need to do for you to see that? What do I need to do for you to feel it? for you to love me back"

I gently took her hands of mine.

" I know you love me, Cindy. And I'm happy and all. But I can't reciprocate the feeling. I just... I can't! I don't love you"

I know this might make me a monster, but I don't love her.

She was shaken, obviously.

She wiped the tears off her face and stood up immediately.

" Oh. Uhm... Thanks for making it all clear to me"

She started leaving so I held her hand.

" Cindy"

" Just please... Let me go, you've made your point pretty clear to me and I understand. Please don't make this any harder for me"

She pulls her hand away and storms out of my place.

The air felt so thick at some point.

But... all she said, hardly even moved me. Maybe I am a monster afterall.

I head outside but. she's gone, she probably ran home.

Slowly I just walked forward. A stroll, down the street. I feel confused, sad, happy, broken ...

I should've just listened to mom and stayed away from girls...

Ding! The sound of the door of a diner opening jogged my back to reality.

It was smelling like steak. The sauce was smelling so magical. I had to get in there.

A few steps in and I saw him... Brad

I was scared. He looked huge, bulging muscles, toned skin, hot looking guy with lots of girls at his table.

Just pretend you didn't see him... Just pretend you didn't see him.

I walked over to an empty table and sat, staring at the menu.

That's the guy that was forcing Claire.

"... I almost had my way with the stupid bitch, till we were distracted by this fucked up stalker" He said loudly before taking a swig at his bottle of booze.

He just kept on talking and talking trash about Claire...

I couldn't take it anymore.

"Hey! That's enough!"

... to be continued

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